I'm still not paying much attention to baseball (we tried to watch last night, but it turns out that the games were only on cable -- since when did that happen?). I knew why I heard fireworks last night. Sending the luck to BillBlueEyes in Boston since I don't think we have anyone from Detroit posting here.
WI: -0.2 kg, Exercise: +45 870/1400 minutes for October, Food: 100% op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
onebyone: requested The War of Art from the library -- thanks!
Lexxiss: love your realization that food won't fix things but moving forward will and that this attitude seems natural to you. I'm not sure I'm there yet, but getting closer.
Last edited by gardenerjoy; 10-19-2013 at 09:51 AM.
Food has not been great at all but no change on the scale in the upwards direction which is just luck I think.
Today my plan is:
-ride exercise bike Done
-do strength exercises for shoulders/arms Done
-eat 3 healthy meals and 2 healthy snacksDone
-read cards Done
-check back here tonight and see if I did what I committed to do Done
On another note- went to see Gravity last night- highly enjoyable- unbelievable special effects in 3D, very good acting, and a great story of courage.
Stepped on scale today and was two pounds below ticker. I did NOT step on it again. Credit. Camping tonite in our orchard with family. My plan is to have my two smoothies today and make an extra smoothie to put in the frig for tom. morning. Lexxiss, I am going to try a chunk of ginger. Tonite will be grilled turkey burgers and homemade hummus with sweet peppers. I have made a new advantage card : When I see 149 on the scale, I get a new pair of black boots.
Yesterday was a big step. After months of procrastination spurred on by apprehension and fear of failure, I submitted my paperwork to our local college to become an adjunct English teacher. I looked at how I finally was able to chip away at the petrified me. I asked a friend to ask her friend (head of the college two years ago) if I could call her for some advice. That was a month ago. Then nothing. And I sat and waited. It was a huge step for me. I would never have asked ANYTHING of a stranger 10 years ago. Then the gal called me and gave me two sentences worth of advice. I took the advice, talked to a secretary, and then talked to the DEAN. He walked me over to Human Resources and suddenly I was off to the races for a whole day before anxiety almost stopped me from writing the cover letter and resume.
I did not eat over the anxiety. Instead I was inspired to call two gals I had met at my school in Goddard and did the unthinkable. I asked them to proof my letters. My bosses wrote two of the most glowing letters of rec I have ever read; an old professor and another schoolmate gave reference numbers. Yesterday, I marched the packet over to human resources, my perfectionism causing my hand to tremble, and handed it in.
Wow! Waking up, realizing, and then FEELING that there are really nice and supportive people in my life is a miracle to me. This has been a long journey from the girl who at twenty three woke up in a psych ward because she was dying of loneliness. And a second Wow! for not eating over those feelings. Another miracle for the girl who weighed over two hundred pounds.
onebyone: This is the second time I have heard that War of Art is a must read for everyone. So I will join everyone in requesting it.
I'm in a negative place today - woke up on the wrong side of the bed, as my mom used to say. Trying to reset myself and will work a bit in my Simple Abundance journal/workbook. I hate it when I allow the work stress to flow into my homelife: restless sleep, less patience with myself, DH, pets and inanimate objects so that gets funny to DH when I'm fighting with, say, laundry all tangled as I'm trying to pull it from the washer.
I'm uplifted by those here who are working through roadblocks and fears and reaching for goals. It is giving me strength each time I read it - making me feel like I can take steps to do what I need to do to find peace. Or to at least attempt to find some peace. Contemplating how I can change my career path at my age, with little experience in anything other than what I'm in ... I'm struggling to phrase it the way I feel without sounding stupid. I know it's called a JOB for a reason, but 20 more years of this type of stress isn't going to work - but it's only been this way for the past four years in this job (and it was the last several years in my previous job, which I had for 12 years). Will it change? Not in the near future. So I either look for something else, or not get as invested in what happens from 8-8 and just suck it up. It's hard to think about leaving good benefits, of which the medical are in the top 10% in the country, we're told, of similar companies. I feel as if so much is up in the air - we don't plan to stay here - want to get to a new community/area of the country well before retirement so we're not just moving then ... so that means two job hunts - where? We must make updates to the house, and need to have funds for that. And it will be hard to sell in my community - homes have been up for sale for 18-24 months. I find these thoughts rolling through my mind, wondering what will be the flashpoint that pushes us forward and how we'd afford the next step.
Sorry for the near-journal-entry here. We're fortunate in MANY ways and I realize that. I just feel like I'm floundering right now.
Scale is up several pounds; my rings are showing that I'm retaining a ton of water, so at least that's a small consolation... hoping to see it drop a bit. Just trying to focus on eating wisely and drinking more, rather than the scale number.
I've sat at the laptop writing this post and changing words, deleting sentences and adding them back in again, and now just posting and moving on. I feel scared actually getting some of these thoughts out there.
I haven't been here in ages. Life is stressful at the moment, mostly because my hubby has been diagnosed with diabetes and fatty liver as well as being low on magnesium and vitamin D. I have been looking after him for a few weeks.
My weight seems to be stuck on 129kg and I'm going to try increasing my exercise for a few weeks and see if that helps. If it doesn't I think I'll go to the doctor and have some tests done.
Diet Coaches/Buddies – The great thing about being a morning person is that when I woke up at 4:30 my immediate thought was, good - I can go check out that moonbeam! It was there, no surprise. Where we lived previously with our bedroom facing south, I remember falling asleep while watching the moon. I miss that.
It was a quiet day to let my back heal. I got a chance to get some serious time in my current book, The Story of Earth: The First 4.5 Billion Years, from Stardust to Living Planet. It fits well in my personal geology eon. I had no idea that minerals had to evolve along with life. I can report that I ate rationally at dinner with friends, CREDIT moi.
onebyone – Waving. Voted today.
Joy (gardenerjoy) – Since the Red Sox won last night, we'll see your Cardinals in the World Series. May supporters of both teams not eat about the stress.
CeeJay - Lots of "Done" in your post - Kudos. I haven't worked up my enthusiasm for Gravity yet, but positive reviews keep coming in.
Debbie (Lexxiss) – Super Kudos for "destress without food" - particularly when contractor $$ is a cause.
maryann - Kudos for charging forth with that application for teaching. (If you get the job, I'll look up 'adjunct' to make it a comfortable word in my life, LOL.) And Super Kudos "for not eating over those feelings."
nationalparker – Kudos for facing what you're facing so you have the opportunity to think of strategies. It's a huge burden trying to envision a path for the next sixty years all at once. Is there an immediate possibility of finding someone who can help you distance yourself from the causes of stress at work? I was impressed when M. Scott Peck wrote about talking to his supervisor about his difficulty leaving the hospital as a doctor.
VioletDolphin83 – Sending supportive thoughts for your DH's health. Perhaps there is some way that you can piggy-back on the diet changes that he's facing so you're in it together. I do hope you're not affected by the awful wildfires we're reading about down under.
Readers -
Quote:
day 7Arrange Your Environment
Changes at Work
The easy availability of these foods is counterproductive to your good intentions. It can be hard to ask others at work to make changes, but it will be worth it. Provide a rationale and phrase your request as a question: "I'm trying to eat in a more healthful way. Would you be willing to ...?"
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 92.
Last edited by BillBlueEyes; 10-21-2013 at 06:36 AM.
So far I've been making changes to my diet to suit my hubby's new diet. These days I rarely eat fast food, mostly because my hubby was the one bringing it home in the first place but I've also cut back on sweet things a fair bit too. I'm finding that I have a cupboard full of food that I no longer want to eat because of new diet changes. Should I donate the food to charity or just throw it out? I'd feel like it was less of a waste of money if I donated it.
Yesterday's adventure was a symposium followed by a walk with a friend, during which we got to talk about all we had learned in the previous two hours. I ignored the treat table (except to confirm from afar that the cookies looked store-bought so not worth a closer inspection) so this was an excellent no-food social time.
WI: -0.15 kg, Exercise: +45 915/1400 minutes for October, Food: 100% op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
BillBlueEyes: looking forward to a Cards-Sox match-up.
maryann: love your story about doing something in spite of the fear -- that's the very definition of courage.
CeeJay: cool to come back and see all of your Done items.
VioletDolphin83: If you can donate the food reasonably quickly and easily, then go for it. If you know a gardener, they may be able put some of it in a compost pile which feels less wasteful. Many of us find throwing away food difficult and, yet, doing it can be quite liberating and a terrific symbol of the changes we mean to make.
Sending virtual hugs to Lexxiss and nationalparker. Voting for onebyone.
Credit today for - reading cards, riding exercise bike, logging food at Sparks, packing lunch for tomorrow, no sugar and eating fairly healthy planned meals. I am still not losing weight because I am consuming too much but that will come as I continue to do what needs to be done. Trying to have faith about that.
It has been snowing all day on and off and tonight it is starting to stick. Can't believe I will be driving to work in that tomorrow. Hopefully we have sun and it melts before I hit the highway.
gardenerjoy- kuddos for ignoring the treat table. That's a challenge for me at meetings.
VioletDolphin83-sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis. So smart to get the unhealthy food out of the house. I think donating the food is a great idea.
BillBlueEyes- I was not so sure about Gravity either but the first 10 minutes were just so beautiful, I was sucked right in. Hope your back is feeling better.
nationalparker- hope you were feeling better today. It sounds like you are contemplating some big changes, so no wonder you are feeling the stress. Take care of yourself.
Lexxiss- I am borrowing what you said for a new response card: "Food will not fix how I feel right now." Thanks for that.
seadwaters-sounds like you have made some great progress and done many things to get on track. Yay for 1.5 gone!
onebyone- so happy to hear you are feeling better. Love this: "It stops here".
maryann- yay for 1 or 2 pounds gone- either way you know it is the right direction!
anakin- so true about practices snowballing. Even though I have not met my major goal of significant weight loss, there are so many positive habits I have stuck with- drinking tea, taking vitamins, eating brown rice and pasta, etc. I am so satisfied about the changes that continue whether I am eating on plan or not.
bethFromDayton- wish I could figure out the wanting of food when I am not hungry. Seems to be a permanent situation for me. Good for you for talking it out and resisting.
CattHill-so great that you ate at the table, slowly and mindfully. That is a huge accomplishment and not easy to do.
ForMyGirls-sounds like a wonderful day with your girls. So wonderful you are planning together.
I have been more or less on plan but exercise has been less than I wanted. I can't seem to find my rhythm yet. I have been called home because my father is failing so I will go home tomorrow to bear witness and support my sister who has taken on the major carers role for dad in a nursing home. Mum died seven years ago. It is a strange thought that it will just be my sister and me.
I will be out of touch for the next few days but will do the best I can. Nature has its own priorities at times like this but I will be mindful about what I stick in my mouth. Take care Beckstars.
Diet Coaches/Buddies – The moonbeam still lives. Life is good if it only takes a moonbeam to cause happiness. DW has already purchased the Halloween candy; I know where it is; I didn't go there, CREDIT moi.
Not much happened. I continued to favor my back by reading all day. I finished The Story of Earth - it's boggling to read of the co-evolution of minerals along with life. Who'd have guessed that geology was fun?
onebyone – Waving. Voted today. Only 10 voting days left.
Joy (gardenerjoy) – It seems so rare that we do "no-food social time."
CeeJay - "Snowing" - good grief!!! That's too much reality for me to hear just yet. Kudos for the exercise bike.
Cheryl (seadwaters) – Sending supportive thoughts as you walk your father over his final path. Do find a way to be mindful of your own feelings during this time.
VioletDolphin83 – It'd be great if you could donate your food. I've found that sometimes the food I wish to donate has passed its marked expiration date and won't be accepted. The idea of the compost bin sounded good. Kudos for stopping the fast foods.
Readers -
Quote:
day 7Arrange Your Environment
Changes at Work
Here are some strategies that have worked for the dieters I've counseled:
Ask coworkers who keep candy or snack foods on their desks if they wouldn't mind moving their snack jars to a less-visible location. Or buy each of them an attractive opaque jay for their snacks as a special gift.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 92.
We have no vegetables in the house. That rarely happens. But I have a plan to acquire some by lunch time.
WI: -0.1 kg, Exercise: +30 945/1400 minutes for October, Food: 90% op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
seadwaters: Take care of yourself. It's a sad time. There are ways that it's easier to lose the 2nd parent because there's some experience to build on. And, ways that it's harder because, as you said, it's a very strange experience to be just a sibling group without parents. It sounds like you and your sister are in a good place for this experience, though. It brought my brother and me closer together.
BillBlueEyes: I had no idea that minerals evolved. Thanks for making my world more dynamic!
Big credit for camping with family and staying OP. The toughest part of that was not eating Mom's Mac and Cheese. I spent years overeating it to the point of being sick and then hating myself for it later. I realized that when I don't overeat in a stressful situation, I don't get that momentary pleasure. And I don't get any similiar replacement pleasure for being "good." I am sure that is why I have been overeating for years - the immediate gratification. The satisfaction is cerebral and hard to accept as a worthwhile replacement. Simile — feels like a kid who sees a savings bond under the Christmas tree instead of a toy. Better for her in the end but a disappointment in the day.
What I have noticed, though, is a feeling of peace that comes with progress and a gratitude the next day the scale didn't sky rocket. Also, I have a realization I never had before, "What are my alternatives? Going back up over 200 (which is where I will be) is not an option." So I forge ahead and explore my new life without food addiction.
NationalParker: I completely understand the overwhelm. I have found that everything for me starts with the "next indicated action." When I allow myself to wait for that intuition and not force anything, things to start to fall into place. I don't have to solve the insolvable.
Happy Monday, all! I feel I've been MIA but have been checking in and reading posts, then getting called away to something else. Was on the go the entire day yesterday, on my feet with running around and then cooking and baking (biscotti to mail to my father in his birthday package).
Shopped for comfortable work shoes on the weekend, as well as a few sweaters I picked up at Target - felt as if I had only three work outfits, and just wearing something that coordinates fairly well made me feel better coming in.
On the fun side, DH finally picked his 45th birthday fun trip and he chose a Caribbean cruise in February. With a side note of he thinks we can still afford to do a summer trip backcountry hiking Isle Royale. Sounds fun to me. Apparently this is the week for major cruise deals??
Thank you, Maryann - for the thought to not try to think the whole process through at once. With thoughts of what's next for us - where are we going to settle to retire - I have had thoughts of everything from update resume, update DH's resume, new carpet, repair windowsills (where dog has scratched them up in the front room), paint, check out potential cities online and for housing info, do we refi or not worth the time if only for a year or two, I need to refocus on losing weight for interviews and fit into my suit, etc. Maybe I just need to b-r-e-a-t-h-e and update my resume for starters and take a walk to relieve stress It's been more than 12 years on the resume front, so I need to put some time in on it. Then that's not hanging over my head.
so that gets funny to DH when I'm fighting with, say, laundry all tangled as I'm trying to pull it from the washer. 
Sunday
Quick check in
