Hello all! I am almost afraid to post here because I've been doing such a bad job lately with being OP and even following Beck. Sometimes I feel like the only one who struggles THIS MUCH with a weight loss journey. It seems ridiculous that as someone who is accomplished and successful and bright with advanced degrees is constantly failing about something that should be so obvious and simple.
How do people pick themselves up when they feel so very down and like they just keep failing?
Just wanted to check in and let you all know that I am still plugging away. Snacking more than usual, but main meals are decent. Need to get back to my exercise today, which can only help with my stressors and weight. Just clinging to my faith and hope for better days to come. This too shall pass and all will be well. One day at a time.
Julia150: So sorry that you might have to have your dog put to sleep!!! Please keep us posted. (I am a serious dog-lover! We have 3 dogs!) Hang in there! Hugs to you!
nationalparker: Good luck with the court date tomorrow!!! I'll be thinking of you.
LuLu01801: I force myself to sit and eat without distraction whenever possible. It is not easy for me either, but I can see the value in it, so I keep trying to get it right. You can do it, too!
Bootedkitty: So happy that you weren't hurt in the accident! Sorry about your 2 flat tires!
Lexxiss: Hope you don't get a full-fledged cold! CREDIT to you for resting to try to prevent it!
veganasaurusrex: You are welcome here if I am. Not sure if you have been reading along, but I feel like a failure on the weight loss journey as well. Just doing my best to follow at least some of the Beck principles "in the meantime." Hang in there! You can do this!!! You deserve to be happy and thin, too!
Hello all! I am almost afraid to post here because I've been doing such a bad job lately with being OP and even following Beck. Sometimes I feel like the only one who struggles THIS MUCH with a weight loss journey. It seems ridiculous that as someone who is accomplished and successful and bright with advanced degrees is constantly failing about something that should be so obvious and simple.
I could have said the same thing--in December, I realized that I was slowly killing myself--literally--and knew I needed to make changes. I didn't want to go in for my annual checkup because I knew my PCP would lecture me (in a professional, caring way). I'd seen multiple specialists in the previous months and they all lectured me (in a professional caring way) about my blood work. My blood pressure was climing, my blood sugar was out of control, my cholesterol was too high, I'm only 5 years younger than when my mom had a heart attack....and I was still eating as if I didn't have any issues--baked goods, sweets, fast food, big meals...although the sweets and baked goods were more of an issue than meal size, I think. I'm not even sure I was enjoying those foods that much--but I was eating them.
I remember getting myself a candy bar and thinking "Why am I doing this? Why am I finding it so hard to do what I know I need to do?" I actually talked to a few close friends about it and said that after the first of the year, I was going to contact my Employee Assistance Program and ask to speak to someone about why I was sabotaging my health.
As it turned out, I didn't make that call--a long conversation with a young woman who'd had weight loss surgery spurred me to action somehow--researching and rejecting that option, finding out about the CBT approach to weight loss, and finding that is a "fit" for me. Also, I found that calorie counting was easy and do-able with an app on my phone (MyFitnessPal)--I'd never found it easy before--I just didn't want to deal with looking things up. I'd done carb restriction (lost 40 lbs) but didn't want to do that again.
So all those things came together and for me, it appears to be working this time. I've lost 20-40 lbs before, though, so I know that my current stage needs to last--I hate to think I could be back at this point and weight (or higher) again. (I'm going to make some Response Cards to give to DH to give to me if I start gaining.)
I guess my rambling point is that it takes all of us some amount of time to get to the right place to accomplish goals. I'd be surprised if there are many people successfully losing weight who hadn't struggled with it before (and during) their weight loss.
I kept asking myself: What am I getting out of staying heavy? Do I want to eat this junk more than I want to be able to travel with DH? Do I want to eat this junk more than I want to be around for my kids and (future) grandchildren? What is keeping me from taking proper care of myself? I never figured an answer to what I was getting out of it or what was keeping me from taking care of myself, but somehow, I crossed that line.
You can cross it, too--one day, one meal at a time.
hi everybody!!
oh WOW.....good stuff being said here.
I'm feeling overwhelmed with inspiration.
one of these days I will do personals as I do have so much to say to each of you.
but a quick question here to veganasaurusrex . . . are you vegan?
I ask because I am and I wonder/assume if we have that in common.
I have been a strict vegetarian for 14 years (no meat, poultry or fish) and 5 years later I went vegan (no eggs, milk, butter, cheese, etc.) so it's been 8 years of veganism at this point.
very interesting how I wouldn't stray from that commitment for ANYTHING.
not one bite of absolutely anything that is or contains those ingredients.
would dream of it!!
and here I am struggling with some simple boundaries around food and behaviors?
oh well.
Hi Coaches: Weigh in day for me, day 29 of the BDS. So far I have lost 10.2 pounds. I think the 1500 calorie level is working for me. It's manageable and still lets me have a sugar free goodie every day, so I don't feel deprived. Yesterday I was out of town for my mother's 82nd birthday. I ate a light breakfast and packed my own light lunch, since I knew we would be going out to eat at dinner but didn't know where. Luckily, the restaurant Mom chose had good options. I ordered a big chicken salad. The chicken was crispy, which I would normally not eat, but aside from that was OP. I also had a very small piece of pre-planned "free" birthday cake that I had baked and taken along. It was good, but I was able to stop after just that small piece. Today I am right back on track eating low carb and counting calories.
I have about 20 statements on my ARC, but there are 2 or 3 that are really important to me. Anytime I think about straying, I refresh my memory and that keeps me on track.
My ankle is slowly getting better. I think I might try some Walk Away The Pounds tomorrow morning. Time to get moving.
Thanks for being here coaches. Good luck on your own journeys.
veganasaurusrex Boy, you sure don't need to feel bad about posting here. Many of us are struggling. I've fought for years with my weight. I lose, I gain, only to repeat again and again. Can you change ONE thing about the way you are eating? Can you find ONE success each day? Despite being around sweets frequently, I just tell myself "I don't eat those things right now". I'm not ruling it out forever, just right now I'm abstaining. Every day that I DON'T eat those things builds on the success of the first day. One way I look at it is that my life isn't any worse for not having eaten a candy/cookie. Oh heck, I'm not making much sense . Stick around, post and read. I think that you will find that all of us struggle, sometimes we do better, sometimes not. We are all in the same boat (or we wouldn't be here) and we can give each other the understanding and support that we all need. LuLu I totally agree with you. There are a lot of inspiring messages here. You asked if there is anyone here who can sit down and eat without distractions? I'm like you, I surf the internet, watch TV and read while I eat. It's become a habit for me. I know the ideal is to eat without distractions. My compromise right now is to pause in what I'm doing (reading, TV, Web) and pay attention to each bite. I focus on the bite, chew, swallow and pause before I take another bite. No bite goes in without a pause in the action and actually experiencing what I'm eating. NationalParker, IBelieveInYou2, Liz Thank you for the kind thoughts about my dog. One thing the vet said last night is that we can give him a good ending. He's been such a good friend to my husband and my son. I've watched my father-in-law keep a couple of his dogs going, they have been so sick and in pain, I just don't want my dogs last time to be painful or difficult. It will be hard but ultimately, I'm going to let my DH take the lead.
Hugs to everyone.
Julia
I'm working on planning for the Big Event, still (on-going), but we're getting down to the point where if we have to, we can say "good enough"--there aren't any crisis items still open. (Well, one--but it's not mine!)
I did not want to make dinner tonight. I was so close to the "let's just go out for dinner" comment that had become our habit. But I've been drilling "no choice"/"not an option" into my head, and I've been listening to all of you tell of the times you've successfully said "no choice" and I said "no choice" to myself and went into the kitchen and made the healthy dinner I had planned for. (and drank water instead of diet coke with it)
I think everyone else sharing how they use "No choice" helped me to use it tonight--and strengthened my resistance muscle. I had a plan. I didn't want to, but I executed it, and it was a success and I'm glad I did.
Thanks for sharing your successes, everyone--it helps me a lot.
I've got to plan tomorrow's meals into MFP and then work a bit more before I can call it a night.
Hello all! I am almost afraid to post here because I've been doing such a bad job lately with being OP and even following Beck. Sometimes I feel like the only one who struggles THIS MUCH with a weight loss journey. It seems ridiculous that as someone who is accomplished and successful and bright with advanced degrees is constantly failing about something that should be so obvious and simple.
How do people pick themselves up when they feel so very down and like they just keep failing?
Hi veganasaurusrx - WELCOME!! So glad you posted. Don't be afraid of posting at a time when you are struggling. We ALL have times of struggling. This weightloss 'business' isn't so easy. If it was we all wouldn't be here. It's a complicated thing. In my experience we all go through times when it's a little easier than others. Please feel free to post.
I am had a good day on Monday.. always grateful for that! Today too. Monday I stayed with my plan... measured.... and logged. I counted my sodium, exercised, and got on the scale. (up a little) Today I got on the scale and it was down again.
Tomorrow I begin to read the Pink Book again.
I'll have more time later to do personals.
I hope you all had a good day. Remember to treat yourself as kindly as you'd treat a good friend.
cold, windy and snowy today. So we stayed in and painted a painting while our other memebr went off to meet local friends and visit a gallery. While she was gone my friend's nephew took the opportnity to ome over to the island and snoop around this mysterious place or a while. He's doing vascular research for his PhD and needed to get out of the lab (!insert an hour+ of super interesting converstaion here)> When he arrived he brought with him some hearty bread, a bottle of Greek red wine. two kinds of fancy cheese-one hard one soft, granny smith apples and a small diet coke at my request. My artist friends are scandalized that I would "drink that stuff. It's really bad for you." Geez. I could tell them food stories that would curdle their cream--if they drank cream.
My friend made us lentil soup and we were off to the races with the perfect artist lunch. Awesome. And when our other friend returned from her day off-island, she had 2 bananas, more apples(gala and granny smiths) more cheese and crackers. More bread and cheese and leftover (yes, we didn't drink it all at lunch) wine for dinner which we ate in the studio because 2 other resident artists were using every burner on the communal kitchen stove. I woke up this morning to discover my pot of soup sitting on the counter. Huh? Did someone eat from it? How long was it out? Did someone take it out to make room in the fridge and forget to put it back?? I tasted it and switched out the pots to a smaller one and put it back.
Food is a big huge deal here. This experience is going to follow me for a while I think. Very interesting. I am also keeping up with Looloo reports. My DH is faithfully caring for her and bringing her back and forth to the vet. He got a new vet tonight who he liked better than the other vet inthe same place. Wonder what the politics are of switching vets within the same practice? Anyway, the prognosis for Looloo is more favorable with the new vet.
Better go. I went to bed at 2am yesterday. Think it may be a tad earlier tonight. I'm not concerned though. I'm just on island time.
Diet Coaches/Buddies – Indeed, as predicted, my morning exercise was shoveling the eight inches of snow, CREDIT moi. It wasn't bad since I knew that warmth would later take care of the small spots that were missed. In the dead of winter each mistake remains in place for a long time. I walked, CREDIT moi, to an early morning appointment in the deep snow before many sidewalks were cleared. 'Twas nice.
Meals were on plan, CREDIT moi, snacks were nibbled large - Ouch. All nibble-able food is gone from the house so I'm hoping for a solid day today. I got several items done from a to-do list that was bugging me. When I'm not taking care of something, nibbling seems to be an attractive alternative.
onebyone – Waving back toward an island in the wherever. Talk about whacking the brain to force thinking clearly about food, exercise, and simply living. I love the notion that a full grown adult is called upon to defend sneaking a diet coke into Shangri-La.
Joy (gardenerjoy) – Noting that plan is done.
Beverlyjoy – 'Da truth, "This weightloss 'business' isn't so easy." Yep, the scale goes up and the scale goes down.
nationalparker – Good luck with your court thing today. Kudos for accepting "well enough." [I don't know how the weather service handles more than 26 storms - will watch to see what happens.]
Beth (bethFromDayton) – This I recognize, "I'm not even sure I was enjoying those foods that much--but I was eating them." Beck's strategies to focus on enjoying food seems to make it easier to ignore the mediocre foods we can go to for distraction. And Kudos for using NO CHOICE when you needed it.
IBelieveInMe2 – Yay for "plugging away" - the secret of success.
Julia (Julia150) – Sending supportive thoughts as you walk with your dog on the final leg. BTDT - it's tough. Necessary, but tough.
Jo (veganasaurusrex) – Yep, the first thing most of us do to make life difficult is to beat up on ourselves because it's difficult. You might try to talk to yourself as you would speak to a friend who was having your feelings. You'd probably suggest to lighten up and accept that it's difficult - despite education and accomplishments. Sometimes we can get a jump start by writing down the strategies and checking off that we're actually doing them. Good luck - it'll always be safe to post here.
Nola (Nola145) – Congrats on those ten pounds gone forever. Glad the ankle is getting better to you can get back to exercise. Kudos for a measured response to your mom's birthday celebration.
Liz (lizagna) – Kudos for OP. [Yep, it's a different universe when I'm out deliberately walking. I stare at gardens and fences as if the residents, who probably know me, won't notice, LOL.]
Lulu (LuLu01801) – I had a few meals with no distractions to experience fully concentrating on food and eating. There are feelings and thoughts to explore by doing that. Thereafter, I read the morning newspaper with breakfast, do a book or the Web with lunch, and chat with DW during dinner. On occasion, I go back to experience a food-only meal to reset my awareness. YMMV.
Readers -
Quote:
chapter 4 How to Use the Beck Diet Solution
A Task a Day
... What if you feel motivated and want to moe more quickly? You can try this approach, especially during the first week of the program. For instance, you might be able to create your Advantages Response Card (Day 1 on pages 54-62), choose a primary diet (Day 2 on pages 63-69), and commit to eating sitting down (Day 3 on pages 70-73) all at once. But, most of the time, you'll do much better if you stick to one day at a time. I don't want you to take on too much too soon and end up feeling overwhelmed. Err on the side of going slowly. It takes time to let new ideas sink in and to become proficient at changing your ideas and behavior.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 46.
I followed my plan yesterday. I have a busy day planned today, but the food plan is written and doable. The exercise plan is written and a bit more shaky but I'll work on making it happen!
Exercise: +15 805/1400 March
veganasaurusrex: wonderful that you have returned to us! I'm so happy to have you here! Struggles happen. I sometimes find it helpful to think of my weight loss journey as The Grand Experiment. I'm Madame Curie trying one thing and then the next, keeping logs and charts to see what works and what sends the subject (me) into a tailspin.
LuLu01801: My experience is similar to BillBlueEyes. An occasional distraction-less meal is helpful, but I don't attempt to do it very often. I kind of revel in this one rebellion from the Beck rules. I think breaking one rule makes it easier for me to follow her other rules like not eating while standing up and easier to follow my personal rules like not eating in the car and not eating items purchased at a gas station.
Another sub-zero windchill day. Emma the Rocket Dawg has not whined or bounced off walls, which is surprising after two days of no wogging. Tomorrow is forecast for more of the same, but I think I'll have to put on the 18 layers of apparel & go, even if we just wog around the block. Tonight is my No Boundaries group, so I'll get in a mile & ahalf run--at which time it will be a balmy 19 degrees and near-tropical +5-degree windchill.
I've been on plan this week. YEAAAA! BeverlyJoy, when you said "some times are easier than others", I almost laughed. It's so true, and the easy times can be my downfall. This morning I was basking in all this OP-ness, and for a nano-second thought, "I've got this down. I can do it on my own." HA! Sure.... Fortunately the Reality Fairy thunked me on the head and reminded me where "doing it on my own" got me.
GardenerJoy - Congrats on OP and exercise. You're just perkin' right along there. WTG!
BillBE - Shoveling AND walking through snow. Wow! Great exercise! Reminds me of those "back in my day" tales. So--did you trudge 7 miles through waist-deep snow & it was uphill both ways? Congrats on the OP meals--you'll get the snacks handled.
OnebyOne - Cracked up about the Diet Coke Police. Dear Lord... Makes me wonder what their guilty pleasures are that they're not 'fessin' up to. Love, love, love hearing about your island life and an altogether different culture. So glad Looloo is getting a better prognosis, and kudos to your DH for changing vets even though it might feel uncomfortable.
NationalParker - As BillBE said, good luck with court. I hope there are no more delays and that it goes well. It is undoubtedly an enormous frustration (at the very least) for you & your DH, but you seem to handle it with so much grace.
Beth - Oh, I so know that "I'm not even enjoying it. Why am I eating it?" feeling. Followed by stuffing more of it into my mouth. Great job on preparing dinner and using the "No Choice" mantra. CREDIT!
Julia - Thank you for your compassion in putting the ultimate well-being of your dog above your pain in having to let him go. Blessings.
Jo (Vegan...rex) - Should you post here? Well jeez, the rest of us are SO perfect, not sure we can handle someone who doesn't do it right first time, every time... I'm glad you're here. We all need each other--sharing both the triumphs and the struggles.
Nola - WOW! 10+ pounds! That is fantastic! Congratulations! Also big credit on how you planned and prepared for your mother's b'day party. Glad it was such a great time, and that you took such care of yourself.
BeverlyJoy - Yea for a good Monday & Tuesday! Great work!
Happy Hump Day and so-called spring. Gotta go--there's a groundhog I need to speak to.
Hello coaches - yesterday went well. For the last two nights I have not done any extra night time eating. I am so grateful ( this is a major credit for me) I've been planning/measuring/logging my food, have always left a bite, had plenty of water, weighed myself (stayed same as ticker weight), ate a bit slower, and was mindful of my sodium.
I've come here to post instead of doing the taxes. Which I will get to soon.
lizagna - you said: This morning I was basking in all this OP-ness, and for a nano-second thought, "I've got this down. I can do it on my own." HA! Sure.... Fortunately the Reality Fairy thunked me on the head and reminded me where "doing it on my own" got me. I LOVE the word OP-ness! Enjoy and learn from your OP-ness. It helps you reinforce what you need to do. But - remember this is a long time journey we take. There are days when I need to borrow your Reality Fairy. Carry on.
Gardenerjoy - credit for your 'food plan that is written and doable' I agree - weight loss is The Grand Experiment.
billbe - credit for your exericise, staying on plan and getting rid of the nibblely foods.
onebyone - yes, food is such a huge part of folks gathering together. I am glad your soup is OK and that DH is taking care of LooLoo.
bethfromdayton - major credit for staying with your plan despite being so tired. Kudo's! Credit for your planning ahead & trying to make it a priority.
Nola - doing a happy dance in honor of your ten pound weight loss, Awesome. Credit for all the planning ahead you've been doing.
Lulu - yes, even folks dedicated to a certain vegan/veggietarians have the same issues around food, often like folks that are junk food junkies. It's around learning to 'live' with food in sane manner. At least that's how it is for me.
Ibeleiveinme2 - credit for staying with your planned meals. For me, it's plan, plan, and plan some more. Glad to hear you have faith you'll get your mojo back the way you want it. It will happen.
nationalparker - nice to be able to give DH a choice in the food when it can somehow fit with your plan. Hope you get the court stuff over, too.
Hope you are all having a good day.
Last edited by Beverlyjoy; 03-20-2013 at 02:01 PM.
I can get so damn caught up in the all or nothing mentality.
I think it was you, Liz, that said "my larger goal is accomplished with thousands of tiny, individual decisions".
when I read that I was like "WOW"!!!
I put that on an ARC immediately and it's really resonating with me in a big way!!
so with that phrase in mind, I am better able to come up with credit to give myself.
today I packed healthy food and brought it to work.
today I didn't smoke (me bad, bad habit), decided to try to quit once more (I don't really smoke that much, but nonetheless I do).
today I went to the weight watchers meeting on my lunch hour even though I haven't been doing that great (I wanted to be there to soak up some inspiration, which I did).
today I read my ARC cards.
today I lugged in my pink book to work and will poke around in it.
not a perfect day, but I deserve to give myself credit.
thank you ALL for being here.
I'm on the verge of diving in and getting to the point of contributing more substance to this forum.
or at least it will feel that way.
Hanging in there!
Please keep us posted. (I am a serious dog-lover! We have 3 dogs!) Hang in there! Hugs to you! 
. Stick around, post and read. I think that you will find that all of us struggle, sometimes we do better, sometimes not. We are all in the same boat (or we wouldn't be here) and we can give each other the understanding and support that we all need.
off-island bounty
Congrats on the OP meals--you'll get the snacks handled.
I'm glad you're here. We all need each other--sharing both the triumphs and the struggles.
