Hey Coaches and Becksters?

First official day of the diet with food monitoring. I see the value of planning, recording it and executing, so credit, credit, credit. Plan is written and I'm pretty excited to use all of the new methods that Beck has taught me and I'm practicing. I've lost six pounds so far although I'm sure that will slow down, which is good because if it goes fast, it boomerangs back just as quickly.

Call me The Turtle.

Until that time...

Good Morning, Coaches.

Credit for tracking yesterday's food even if the total was about 1,000 more calories than I had planned to eat. Since most of it was sushi I knew there would be a dramatic effect on the scale--and there was. I am 2 pounds above ticker. Credit for weighing despite knowing the outcome. Credit for morning yoga, food planned and staying home this morning puttering. Mental health is important to OP behavior. If I don't let myself putter, I seek comfort in calories.

Altogether a sad weekend. Like Gardenerjoy, I have allowed myself too much news time and the story of the school massacre haunts the edges of this day. As a mother, I am horrified at the thought of losing my boy. As a teacher for 23 years, I am discouraged schools have become nothing more than targets (symbolically in the political arena and now literally.) Credit for turning off the media except for listening to Dave Ramsey who said something that made sense. He believes in the "displacement" theory--enough good works will eventually push the evil to the edges and cleanse our society. I like that. I can do good works. I can't control evil.

And still, despited great tragedy, little things like food tracking and weighing must be done or I have lost all structure. Haleyju: I use myfitnesspal and it is terrific. BigChiefDavid: Good Luck with your tracking.

Hi Beck pals,

Ah, the stress of holidays, the horrible incident of Friday, being severely under the weather (seeing doc tomorrow, may need the a/b's...longstanding resp thing seems worse instead of better), and frankly, being "stuck" on the scale have weakened my resolve this weekend.

I count calories and yesterday hit nearly 1800 (way too many) - there was no single thing, no party or event...nothing even really that great, just reverted to prior bad habit of weekend free-range eating and comfort foods (graham crackers - so not worth it! Plain pasta with some oil & garlic - more worthy, but needs to be more limited quantity..).

Credit for writing the ugly truth all down. Credit for stopping. Credit for accepting that I am not perfect, but I can stop this train right here, right now. Credit for mustering the energy and motivation to go to the store to get some real food in the house, and help get myself back OP. Grateful to dh for taking kids to a niece's 3 yr old b-day party which would have put me over the edge.

Only 1.5 days off the rails, but enough to be regretful. Enough. Done.

I did drag my butt to the gym yesterday and did a light workout, visited the steam room, and I took a nap. We expect the usual large crowd here for Xmas day and it's a lot of work, plus the usual tree trimming, all that. Plus work, plus...plus...deep breaths! And I think this major crisis, even if you've turned the darn tv off and aren't directly involved and manage to forget it for a bit...becomes one of those omnipresent concerns, like a dark cloud over us.

Nevertheless, we are bound to carry on. I like what someone here said about stress. Something like: "I don't have to forget about my plan in times of stress. Even when stressed, I still brush my teeth and buckle my seat belt. I can take care of myself, even under stress, and following my plan is good self-care."

I am finding lots of joy in the holiday as well, don't worry. Just the combo of factors these past few days have impacted me. I plan not to let them do me in, though.

Cheers (raising cup of tea)
Chickbury

Hi Becksters/coaches - checking in. Today is going well. I am very excited that my sister will be here tomorrow for a few days on her way to Cape Cod.

I am trying to remember to drink lots of water. Happy to say - cookies came in the door and I haven't been tempted. I will write in my journal again the resistance techniques I need to remember. There's no chocolate... so, it's not quite so tempting.

Still no baking of Christmas goodies for me. The neighbors & kids came over for their gifts. Guess what, no one complained or had a fit that we didn't bake anything to give them. LOL DH did get some sugar cookies at the grocery for the kids. They took them home the extras. We did, however, get one of those christmasy cans of popcorn for them to take home.

I didn't get on the scale today. I will tomorrow.

Tuesday I see the dietician again.

Hope you are all doing well.

and we move on.
 

Coaches

As DH said last night "today I buried my father and now I'm drinking with Russians". Yes, we went to the funeral for his father, primarily to accompany his sister and brother. My sister said "don't go to the funeral of people you don't feel good about." That rang through my ears in the whole ceremony. DH's brother A summed the whole thing up as "a two-hour kick in the teeth", and DH's sister E just had that my-eyes-are-welling-up-but-I-am-not-going-to-cry look. It was all the what a great generous man, whose door was always open to everyone anecdotes that were so hurtful. But even worse, the stories of the very blessed time spent at his bedside as he lay dying, there with his full faculties, his wit, his grace, his sheer humanity. Frinds and family streaming into his home to have that last conversation with him. A good three weeks of visitors coming and going. And yet. His three biological children were only informed of his imminent death once he was safety unconscious, hours away from death, in the palliative care facility, no doubt to protect him from being *troubled* at the end. There were stories of the amazing family reunion held at the lake last summer. Why everyone was there and what a blessing! guess no one thought the three biological kids belonged in the family? He was a man who took everyone in, called you his son or daughter. Oh how lucky you were to be in his very presence!

Apparently his life was so full he had no room for his children.

I did walk up to his urn and thank him for creating the man that is my DH. I really wanted to touch that urn but I probably would have been tackled and frankly I would have taken them all on.... so I made due with turning heel and walking out. DH's father, if he is floating around out there somewhere, knows how I feel.:rollpin:

And so, we went from there to DH's mom's where she had a beautiful bowl of beautifully wrapped chocolates in a bowl on that &^%#! coffee table of hers and I had as many as I thought I would not be openly called on. I would have easily eaten them all. And later that evening (last night) we went to DH's office xmas party where there was a ice sculpture carved specifically for the passage of vodka. It wends its way through the ice and then into your shotglass. DH had quite a few (no carbs! he was happy to tell me) as I searched for people to talk to. I ate whatever they served me. I drank one glass of wine. We did get our pictures taken in the photobooth which was fun. So glad ALL THAT is behind me/us. (see new avatar)

Got an unexpected surprise from my neighbour who is moving out. We are taking a bunch of his furniture and so my goal of having a "normal" looking place will pretty much come true. DH is happy as a) it's free and b) people are here to help move it in and c) we'll have a couch and more normal home.
It'll be built in exercise as well. I am taking tomorrow off for my mental health and then I am full speed cleaning house.

Plan plan plan. That's what it's all about. Plan my food. Plan my day. Plan my strategy. Plan where the new stuff will go and what it will be for. The good news is the stuff we are getting is mostly stuff that has drawers and shelves. Real storage spaces. I am grateful. And I look forward to a couch.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Emotional weekend listening to the news and thinking of my own class of 17 kindergarten children. But finally we know that food does not fix tragedy.
Had a lightbulb moment Friday morning: DH was headed to visit and I thought "Hmm, I could have him bring the scale over." But I quickly realized that I really didn't care about the number; I would see that accountability information next Friday (the 21st) and until then, I was satisfied with the way I was eating (mostly), comfortable with the steady downward progress I have seen since July, and not dependent on the number on the scale to determine that I have been successful this week. Wow!
Stayed reasonable even with DH in town for the weekend--a little overboard on pizza Fri night but not crazy the rest of the weekend. Still sticking with my version of the 21 day challenge--here's the math: I am working on 4 mini-challenges, and started 15 days ago, so 60 chances to succeed or not. I have 'messed up' 10 times--10 out of 60 is a pretty good ratio I would say! I will redouble my efforts this week with craziness at school, two parties, and the trip home Friday (challenge "ends" Sat) where there will be holiday treats.

Monday
 

Diet Coaches/Buddies – Eating was on plan, CREDIT moi, including passing over a bunch of homemade stuff because it's getting close to Christmas. I almost declared some platters of sweetened breads, produced in honor of Saint Lucia by a guy of Swedish ancestry, as rare and unusual until I hit myself on the head with the reality that Saint Lucia was honored with sweetened breads last year and will be so again next year. Hope she's not offended that she went un-honored by me yesterday. Sweetened breads are addictive, contain many carbs, need butter to be complete, and are processed by the body as if sugar. I watched an awful lot of non-Swedes wolfing it down as if it were a religious experience. Extra CREDIT moi for Saint Lucia's bread alone.


onebyone – You were generous to be available to support your DH as he supported his siblings. Family reality is just so difficult. Yay for a new batch of furniture. I like the joyful new avatar - that's some happy hats, LOL.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – Yay for a plan. [I hate that the "health halo" effect changes my thinking before my rational brain gets a vote.]

Nature Girl – My thoughts are with you having to absorb the Newtown news when you daily stand with a room of kindergartners. Kudos for realizing that you don't need the scale.

Beverlyjoy – Sending all the extra food home with the neighbors is one neat strategy - Kudos. Glad your sister is arriving to distract you from all the Christmas eating.

maryann - Thanks for "Mental health is important to OP behavior" - it reminds me that when I'm avoiding something I need to do, nibbling increases.

Chickbury – Yep, "stuck" eats at motivation. Kudos for writing it all down and getting to the gym to help break out of the doldrums.

The Turtle (BigchiefDavid) – Congrats on those first six pounds. And Kudos for following the planning strategy - you're on a roll.

Readers -

Good day, all! I strayed from the response cards over the weekend. Need to get into a better mindset at home - work is a bit easier because my routine is more set. Counted calories and was over by 200 - but I will not reach my goals by not following my plan. And didn't have a true plan yesterday. As evidenced by my lack of vegetables. Struggling with eating first and thinking second. Clearly an easy solution to that but I need to DO IT.

Baked (biscotti for gift baskets) and wrapped until after 9 p.m. ... cleaned it all up, which seemed more of a chore than the actual work :) and was in bed before midnight. Still more to do, but luckily biscotti is not something calls out to me, so the temptation is minimal. I give friends and family "outs" in case they tire of the baskets, but they keep saying it's a great gift, so... while I can, I do.

Dinner out with a friend tomorrow night at Olive Garden and I do love their salad with the light dressing as the main part of my meal.

DH is sick now - sounds horrible and is working nights, so it's really taking its toll on him. I'm hoping to get more sleep and stave off getting it myself.

Lost a day on the Beck's book and last night read the "Oh, well" chapter. I liked that better than my internal voice that just says "suck it up and shut it up" - either my mouth for eating or my thoughts for thinking why can't i have that. Hers is more positive! :) Huge bins of that popcorn still in the kitchen areas - folks still diving in. Oh well. Think I need to go back a week and reread for extra oomph. Kind of struggling with getting back on track, but in actuality I'm not THAT much off track. So I guess credit for realizing that. And credit for remembering that gala apple today! Mysteriously they were absent on the weekend, when they were RIGHT THERE.

Quick check-in. Today will be a weird eating day, but it is completely planned and that makes all the difference when combating weirdness.

WI: -0.05 kgs, Exercise: +30 685/1400 minutes for December, Food: 80%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

Hi folks/coaches... things are going well with my food. Tomorrow I go see the dietician.

My sister is here and it's wonderful. No reason to eat unhealthy. YAY.

Soon DH and I leave for a week. That will be a challenge. But - I will do my best.

Hope everyone is doing well.

Moonday -- transition day.
 

Coaches

Did not track today at all. I also did not overeat and felt actual hunger aproaching my meals which is great.

Tomorrow I begin the big cleanup in this apartment making room for new used furniture.

I am done eating for the day. The kitchen is closed.

Good Night!
 

Hey Coaches and Becksters,

Checking in late on the second official day of the diet...It's been going well although I haven't stayed completely true to the planned eating. I made good choices but wandered off due to fatigue (rough couple of days: we had to say goodbye to our 15-year old dog).

I feel like my resistance muscles are building, and I'm enjoying the spontaneous exercise. I can't recall if I have ever felt that way on a diet. I've been excited before about losing weight, but not about learning new ways of dealing with cravings and hunger. Seems so elementary that temporary hunger shouldn't be a big deal but I had always thought of it as an excuse to really chow down as a reward. Not a great practice.

I'll keep plugging away.

Until that time...

Good evening.

Not many credits today. I did log my food but not until after I ate it. I am off the beam. Everything is setting me off. I am just too busy and too demoralized that things will ever change. I am actually contemplating missing DS band concert (DH will go) in order to have the only free night in days. We went to DS other concert on Sat. Violin and piano. He was terrific - A Clementi sonata and a minuet on the violin.

The truth is I am caught in the grip of perfectionism. I need to let things go. Plan: Work half day tomorrow. Read Beck before I leave in the morning. exercise. Stay away from the sugar.

Best to all.

Tuesday
 

Diet Coaches/Buddies – A good day on my food plan, CREDIT moi. Major triumph was at a pot luck dinner last night with friends. From an attractive spread, I chose three items that didn't fill the plate. Had only one plate. No liquid calories. And, the big deal, when we were done watching the movie, I ignored nibbles of the table being put away - including two byte brownies, some cookies, and a "you gotta try this" pizza. Now they were factory made, but the two-byte moniker yelled to me, Not so much, it's OK to eat these. I felt so good about myself that I skipped my evening snack since we got home so late.

Exercise was watching the rain out the window. I did walk up and down some stairs in an attempt to work the muscles in my cast covered leg. An acquaintance casually suggested that I had to have osteoporosis since I broke my leg. Seems a bit presumptions to dispense a party diagnosis, but I'll ask the doctor today anyway.


onebyone – Neat to actually feel hunger. Good luck with your apartment rejuvenation today.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – Planned weird is good.

Beverlyjoy – Yay for a sister who helps you eat healthy.

maryann - Kudos for being aware and making a plan. Sometimes, Oh, Well can be used for events as well as food.

BigchiefDavid – My heart is with you as your fifteen dog crosses the bridge. My Aussie had fifteen good years and it still hurt big time to say goodbye. Kudos for accepting that Hunger is Not an Emergency.

nationalparker – This needs to be tattooed on my forehead, "I will not reach my goals by not following my plan." Kudos for using Oh, Well on that popcorn.

Readers -

Good morning! Steady day yesterday - thankfully the popcorn at work that sang its siren song to me is gone. I ended up having two cups of it and counted it, and can live with that. The past years the tins have stayed much longer as we had fewer people in our area.

DH is down for the count - he thinks it's the flu. I thought just severe cold but have checked out the comparison signs cold v flu and it's leaning that way but hard for me to tell since I'm not the afflicted one. But when he said dizzy and chills that swayed me. Hope to stave that off. Got more sleep to help last night.

Credits for tracking all (but need to PLAN). Trying to use up most groceries before we leave for the holidays, yet planning a big Italian Christmas meal for our last night here with DH family. Having to decide what gets done and what doesn't, as we all are. USO will get cookies, treats donated as always, but we'll skip the big tray for our family dinner here. BeverlyJoy - good idea!