[maryann]

Good Morning, Coaches.

OP yesterday. Tried new dessert within food program - dates, avocado and cocoa powder blended up. It makes a nice chocolate pudding.

This morning was rough. I drove an hour to get DS to his violin camp only to find he had not brought his violin. I totally lost it, yelling disproportionately to the situation. Still, he is first violin player with no violin and that his only job - to get the violin in the car. The teacher was kind and arranged around it and now I am sitting at coffee shop feeling terrible about myself. What am I to do? I can't take the morning back. Failure is pressing in on me. Credit for not eating. I will pick him up in two hours and make amends. Credit for "trying" to get off my back. If I don't get off my back it will be even worse for my family. I came from a long line of black out ragers. Damage was done that I can't undo. I need to put my one blow up in context and realize I am not like my parents but I am human.

Tough stuff to feel when I am not using food as an anesthesia.

[onebyone]

Coaches

To me the weekend in the middle of July is the weekend that is the middle of the summer and therefore the peak of "green". I think of this as all growing things--if they aren't well on their way now they won't make in our Northern Climes.

It was shaping up to be a fantastic, art-filled adventure weekend and then, my mom's cat Max died. He died yesterday. My mom, with her alzheimer's affected brain remembers he's dead, then thinks he is lost, then wonders who took him. It pretty much just cycles like that. She has never lived without a cat and my Key West sister made arrangements with the villa where my mom lives that she would be getting a new cat if/when Max the cat died.

And so, I now miss my painting slam event at my former Ottawa art school teacher's Toronto gallery. It's Saturday and would have been amazing. I was so excited to go. And then Sunday is a fundraiser for the local jazz festival. Artists were asked to donate a 4" x 4" canvas for auctioning off. I'm dropping my contribution off today. The paintings are presented without names and the event is called Who Dunn it? (Dunn means something but I know not what.) I was looking forward to attending. Also tomorrow is DH's atv team building work thingy. He will still get to go as his boss is going to pick him up and bring him to the event since I'll have the car.

As you may guess, I am stressed. Visits to my mom are tough. This one will be tough. My Ottawa siblings are distant from me,and not communicating at all with my Key West sister. I try not to be in the middle or trapped in the role of go-between/messenger, so in this case I sent an email to my brother and copied my sisters on it. Just said I'd be there over the weekend and why. No doubt they will be upset that my mom is getting another cat. Our disagreements all stem from differing outlooks on how my mom *really* is. For me, if the head nurse, and the villa, feel it's fine for my mom to have a pet, and they see her everyday, then it's ok. If there is a problem, we'll deal with it then.

Foodwise, I need to be on the ball and have a plan and remember what the heck I am trying to do. I was up 1.8lbs at my official weighin yesterday to 255.2. I was not surprised; happy it wasn't 3lbs. Today I am back down to 252.2. *credit*

So, thanks for being here and for reading. I'm taking all of you with me on my travels. I'll be checking in over the weeked as we are in a hotel this time (thank you to the villa for being all booked up) with wifi.

ok I have some stuff to get to today. TGIF.

[BillBlueEyes]

Diet Coaches/Buddies - Another summer day - as if it were the season or something, LOL. Dinner was on plan, CREDIT moi, including a sliced cucumber picked from the garden within the hour.

At the gym, CREDIT moi, a large guy was pulling a sled laden with weights under direction of his trainer. It was such a funny sight. He's a BIG guy - strong, tall and BIG. Watching him pull the sled reminded me of slaves pulling the blocks for the pyramids from the movie Moses. My walk included watering our community garden where four cucumbers had appeared in three days. Just appeared. My theory is that cucumbers don't grow as do normal plants, they apparate like in Harry Potter movies.


onebyone – R.I.P. Max. Sending supportive thoughts to the humans whose lives were richer for your presence, and for the family tribulations to be faced with your passing. Have a safe journey to Ottawa, onebyone, focusing on your tasks at hand and not what could have been.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – Yay for family business possibly improving from "emotional" to "a bother." Thanks for your reminder that it's a blessing. I sometimes forget when I'm sweating about the tribulations of repairing my old house to first stop and appreciate that I've got a place to live.

maryann - Sending supportive thoughts and cyber-hugs as you accept and love maryann through the violin incident. Nine year olds can be pretty resilient when they don't have to hide the unpleasant stuff. Yep, you are not your parents. Kudos for not turning to food to try to make it better.

Readers -

chapter 6 Stage 3 The Challenging Situations Plan
Confidently Follow Your Plan When Life Gets Stressful

Create a Stressful Times Mindset

A third thought is, I can't do it anymore; dieting is too hard. This thought usually arises when dieters have had intermittent difficulty practicing their skills for several days, but the experience of a few hours colors their memory of entire days or weeks. Whenever you feel burdened by life's stresses, ask yourself, Has sticking to my diet been difficult for every hour of every day? Or were there some hours or even days that it was easier? If you feel overburdened, identify the specific times or situations in which dieting was difficult. Ask your Diet Buddy for help in identifying times of trouble.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 162.

[Lexxiss]

Hi Coaches!

Yesterday was OP amidst two huge outflows of $$, an event which used to push me back into old food habits. We got a huge co-pay for DH's surgery *ouch* but I made arrangements and decided to order the new carpet anyway. *credit* for continuing to be totally happy "getting paid to exercise". Speaking of, today starts a 5 day stint....something unheard of 90 pounds ago.
Our simple joy here has been picking the sour cherries to go directly into our morning smoothie and deciding it OK to share our abundance with the eager birds. It's the first year we haven't stashed them all for a pie...perhaps because we both know we really never enjoyed the pie with all the sugar...it just seemed it was what we were supposed to do.

BBE, yay for OP eating including a yummy cucumber. You haven't mentioned gazpacho yet....

gardenerjoy, yay for a happy weight chart, especially amidst tough family drama.

onebyone, sending support as you travel to lend a helping hand to your mom. I'm in agreement, especially since she's always had a cat, as long as the villa agrees. Hang in there!

MaryAnn, kudos for taking deep breaths and commiting to resolution w/DS. It happens to all of us. We are human. Glad to hear you enjoyed your new dessert concoction. My new WOE has several avocado recipes I've yet to try. We're limiting/cutting out dairy here at the moment.

[Newlifestyle]

Good morning Coaches

Bill - Enjoy the cucumber, your posts lead me to believe you truly live in the present. Enjoying each situation as it presents itself. Thank you for reminding me I am blessed to have a place to live instead of complaining about something that needs to be done in my house.

Onebyone - May your siblings understand the importance of your mom's well being rather than worrying about a cat. Sometimes our intentions are based on something totally different than what we voice. I want to apologize for all siblings out there who sometimes don't get it. I am guilty of that. Thank you for your honesty it made me realize some things need to happen because they are what is important....hugs to you.

Gardenjoy - I have never heard of Irish Bacon. I will be on the lookout. Happy weight chart gazing.

MaryAnn - Hugs to you. Thanks for the reminder it is okay to be human. I appreciate all your posts. I too have a nine year old and can relate.

Debbie, Yikes with all the expenses. The carpet once installed will make it worth it. We always made jam because we always just did that. Berries are much better tasting in a smoothie. Have a wonderful weekend.

Hello to everyone.
Have a great day.
Ann

[gardenerjoy]

Yesterday defied planning which is where my mix and match meal plan shines -- I swapped out the homemade meal I planned for the restaurant meal that was on my mix-and-match plan. Credit!

WI: +0.2 kgs, Exercise: +60 555/1400 minutes for July, Food: 90%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

Sending supportive energies to maryann and onebyone during stressful times.

[Nature Girl]

I wrote a post last night to catch up for missing two nights of non-reports, and then lost it--too tired to rewrite so I'll do it now.
Best news:
1)Mom is home from rehab center, PT people think she is doing well, and my brother is there taking care of her and Dad.
2) I reached my first 5 pound goal! Actually it's 7#, and the best part of that is that it reminds me that this really does work-sticking to guidelines, staying active, eating healthy. I'm so proud!
Other news- no change in job situation; no more interviews yet which is really depressing but since last Monday I haven't eaten over it. Dogs are having a hard time with heat and each other--one's at the vet right now. Very hard to deal with. The heat we had all week (no AC) may have broken this morning, or this could be another thunderstorm and it will warm up again later...hard to know.
Stayed pretty much on plan this week, and didn't fall into the dessert menu afterwards. Had decided it was ok, but when it didn't happen, had a fresh, ripe nectarine with yogurt & 1tsp honey later. *credit*!
Need to plan bike or hike later today if (hopefully) the rain drops dry up, and plan dinner for tonight so it's easy when I get hungry.
Onebyone, Sorry about the changed plans but you are strong & brave and you will feel right about helping your mom.
Maryann, I remember those days with my kids too, it always felt awful for me afterwards. Good for you for not eating over it!
BBE: Re: your wishlist of big boy toys: my DH too! And we do have a barn to store stuff, so that can be dangerous!

[Elizabeth779]

Hi Beck Coaches -- it's a fast drive-through (the good kind -- lol). It's after 2:00 a.m. on my day off and I'm ready to sleep (early for me).....

Yay me for having great discussion with girlfriend today about 3FC support, and Beck book....sent her a copy of my advantages list because the list has been helping me -- it drives, fuels even my motivation, STRONG desire for controlling food intake.

Yay me for using relaxation CD's the last couple days to help stress levels....

YAY everyone for checking in and continuing with Beck....God Bless Judith Beck wherever she is tonight! It really is the key that unlocks the door to our success. I truly believe that.

Ahhhh wish I could stay more, type more, respond to great posts you'all have made last couple days, but head ready to hit the keyboard.....nite all

Beck Team Hug!

[BillBlueEyes]

Diet Coaches/Buddies - Stayed on plan when having dinner with friends, CREDIT moi, even though there were options. I did have one cookie with the meal, but take solace that it was only one and there was stuff I didn't eat. There are opportunities for FREE ice cream today on National Ice Cream Day. The only ones that I already know about aren't on my trajectory, so perhaps I'm safe. But there are a lot of ice cream parlors about that might try to trip me up including a Ben and Jerry's truck that roams around Boston unpredictably. I've never seen it; today would be the wrong day to be my first since there'll be some FREE cones.

The heat discouraged walking beyond getting to my friends' house which wasn't that far away - CREDIT moi anyway. This lack of rain business is growing old; it means that I have to water the plants which requires patience.


Joy (gardenerjoy) – Good luck at your family meeting today. Yay for using "mix and match" as it was meant to be used.

Debbie (Lexxiss) – Ouch for both $$ AND $$ - it's hard for me to spend big twice in a row. Kudos for making a sane choice with the cherries. [With the cukes arriving, gazpacho is coming - drool.]

Nature Girl – Congrats on those seven pounds gone and Cheers for your mom moving forward in recovery. Good luck in the job lottery - may the one for you come your way.

Ann (Newlifestyle) - Hope all is going well. Presumably Canada is too intelligent to have National Ice Cream Day so you're safe.

Readers -

chapter 6 Stage 3 The Challenging Situations Plan
Confidently Follow Your Plan When Life Gets Stressful

Create a Stressful Times Mindset

Prepare for such sabotaging thoughts by making Response Cards:

UNDER STRESS RESPONSE CARD #1

It's true I'm under a lot of stress right now. But stick-
ing to my plan isn't hard every hour of every day. And,
in fact, there are times when sticking to my plan has
made life easier because I didn't have to think about or
struggle over food. It's not worth it to me to throw in
the towel and stop watching what I eat because I will
definitely gain weight, feel bad about myself, and feel
even more stressed.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 163.

[Lexxiss]

Hi Coaches!

Yesterday turned crazy but I stayed OP. Kirk's DD had her baby while I was at work necessitating a 10 min. turnaround at home before driving down to the hospital. Compounding things....I got a call at 556 am that I was supposed to be opening at work (thought I was 7am gal). I left without smoothie and worked my shift without feeling hunger. credit for making the smoothie before the hospital trip. Addl. credit for not partaking in take out chinese which I ordered and picked up for the new dad. Instead, we stopped at Whole Foods for a tasty caesar salad topped with tofu. Work again today, but gratefully no trip should be necessary.

BBE, no Ben and Jerry's trucks here. lol. Thx, as always for keeping me current on all our important holidays.

[Newlifestyle]

Good morning,
Quick check in before I leave for work.
Yesterday was OP for me....yeah. I was away from home all day. That is a first OP not being at home.
I hope everyone has a great day.
I have a busy weekend. A bit stressful but I haven't eaten over it yet. I am trying to remember, "This too shall pass"
Have a wonderful day. I hope to get back for personals.
BBE- I will fit 1/2 cup of ice cream into my meal plan today for national ice cream day.....Ice cream is not a trigger for me so I should be okay.
Take Care
Ann

[gardenerjoy]

I ended up eating an extra snack yesterday when supper was going to be late and I was grumpy about having to fix it when I was tired and hungry. It kept me from uttering the words "Let's order pizza." So, I'm going to consider it a good thing as long it remains an isolated event.

Our family meeting got canceled due to illness today which means the drama continues. We're going to attempt to resolve things in a conference call on Tuesday, but we attempted to resolve things with phone calls last week and it didn't help which is why the meeting was called. We'll see.

We may go to lunch with the bits of the family that aren't sick, so I can't plan the day. That is sometimes cause for frustration in me. I'm going to focus instead on planning for the week and try to flow through today.

WI: -0.3 kgs, Exercise: +60 675/1400 minutes for July, Food: 80%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

[Tazzy]

Hi Everyone,

We get our new puppy today! We passed the home visit and he really loved it here and did not want to leave when his foster mom was ready to go. We had to wait 24 hours after before he can come home, to be sure you still want to proceed and that you have everything ready for him like food, chew toys, leashes and stuff. Lots of shopping yesterday but such fun. His rescue name was Exodus but we have renamed him Dexter (after the tv show we're huge fans). Once I get some good photos I'll figure out how to post one here. Looking forward to taking him on many walks and lots of play time.

Today is track the weight day and down 1.2, pretty happy with that considering I did not write down anything all week. I was very concious of what I was eating and all those event steps really added up. 15,620 steps from the event on Thursday, again in an old renovated theatre and I was on lots of stairs between the basement and the catwalk. At least my continual weeding in the garden and flowerbeds keeps the hamstring muscles limber. My garden is doing great, the heat wave last week really got things growing. I plant sunflowers by one fence for privacy from the neighbors and I swear you can see them growing. The package said they could get 12 - 14' tall, last years ended up being 9' and they got pretty hard to support, I'm going to need rope this year instead of string.

Hope everyone is well, time to get a few things done for puppy-proofing the house.

[Nature Girl]

I love hiking! Feeling all the muscles in your legs & thighs working together, hearing your heart go pitter patter and knowing it's getting stronger, the soaking wet t-shirt afterwards signifying all the calories you sweated away. And all this while walking through towering pine trees, flowering bushes, and watching squirrels, dragonflies, and uncountable birds skitter in and out.
Went 1 hour 10 minutes on a steep local trail--haven't been to the top yet but in this heat 40 minutes UP was enough.
Broke two rules yesterday: at a fruit stand, ate a huge bing cherry sample standing up. But stayed away from the tasting station where they had all kinds of jams, etc to taste on crackers.
After eating my nightly allowed dark chocolate, I felt it tasted bitter so I had a marshmallow (no sugar!). That actually was worse--way too sweet--so I learned. And didn't have more.
Tazzy: I'm so jealous about your puppy but I guess three dogs (two who are fighting lately) is enough at our house. This should lead to plenty of extra steps as you take the puppy for walks, right! BTW, my DH says it is impossible to puppy proof a house...all you can do is resign yourself to the impact.
Gardenerjoy: A healthy snack instead of a pizza feast or a complete fall off the wagon is definitely a good thing--especially with family stress complicating things.
BBE: Nt'l Ice Cream day: Geez--- glad I didn't know til it was over!

[Elizabeth779]

Hi Beck Coaches --

Oy vey what a day, had a very stressful day -- and reacted well for most all the day -- credit -- I give myself credit for that -- AND EVEN WENT TO THE GYM -- credit -- but then late at night maybe I stayed up too late....and then after keeping on track all day OP, then tonight it just fell apart and I ended up eating popcorn when I wasn't hungry and THEN a piece of cake.....I'm not sure why I did that -- has that happened to any of you where you do the right things and give yourself credit and then late at night it falls apart? Any suggestions what I should have done instead?

Bill -- good for you for keeping in control with the food -- sounds like the cookie was your controlled decision.....and I'm with Nature Girl in that maybe it's a good thing I didn't know it was ice cream day.

Naturegirl -- good for you for that nice hike -- sounds wonderful....VERY wonderful. That hike beats getting sweaty on a treadmill at the gym with the music blaring.

Tazzy -- ahhhh Dexter the puppy....Dexter is a great name. Good for you for all those steps at the event, and I also think you can see sunflowers grow....they're the most amazing flowers.

Gardnerjoy -- good luck with the family conference call. I understand about being in the kitchen and tired and hungry....that's a real perfect storm for me for eating.....

Newlifestyle -- good for you for not giving in to eating because of stress.....you are making your resolve stronger doing that.

Lexxiss -- how wonderful your day turned crazy because of a baby -- and more wonderful that you stayed on track.

Everyone hang in!