Hi Beckies - I've been keeping food/drink pretty light - mostly juice, broth, applesauce, water and such. Just in case this dull ache is related to my gallbladder. A couple days of that could only help and let my gallbladder 'rest' -and wouldn't hurt if it's not. I am seeing my doctor at 5:30 pm. I am not in any big pain - which is good.
This afternoon I am meeting friends at the pastry shop for tea. I have No Choice about eating any goodies. I don't think it will be a problem.
Lend me your ears. I come to bury the Habit of Overeating, not to praise it. The evil I did over the holiday season lives after me...
Flashback December:- Eating a pound of chocolate sitting down (Credit) and leaving a bite (Kudos) and NOT following with 2 litres of ice cream (Well Done Me), when a pint of Ben and Jerry's was quite enough, and of course enjoying every last bite. You CAN'T eat that much when you eat mindfully, aware, in the moment, right? Me? oh yes, I can totally vanish, sink into that moment. It is, nom, oh so much better than ...housekeeping... so much more instantly gratifying than ... reading my ARCs. Beck can wait. Oh yes, she can, until January, until this deliciousness has been consumed, and I am aware, utterly in the moment, so I am eating mindfully, right??? Anyway it's done now. Oh Well.
Here, under leave of Beck and the rest.
Come I to speak at the Habit's funeral.
The Habit was my friend, faithful and good to me.
I speak not to disprove what Beck has written,
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You loved the Habit once, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then, to mourn for it?
O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason. Bear with me;
My heart is in the coffin with Overeating,
And I must pause till it come back to me.
It does not seem reasonable. It is not right. It does not help. It is unhealthy. It is a destructive relationship but I am in love.
My heart is in the coffin with my Habit,
And I must pause till it come back to me.
I am worth it: Yay for the hunger experiment! I know exactly what you mean when you say: "I already knew what I was supposed to do to be healthy, I just didn't know how to get myself to do it." When you did lose the 15 pounds what principles do you think were most helpful? I like the sitting down to eat one best, but must remember to enter into the spirit of it rather than the letter (eg. grab 400g Toblerone, sit down and enjoy every bite, leave a bite, follow with tub of ice cream, leave a bite). By the way, I'd be laughing at the comedy of this if I haven't already done it!.
Debbie/Lexxiss: It always makes me feel the best, the most free, the most "cured" when I can have a couple of unplanned bites in a take it or leave it kind of way, just have a taste and ditch the rest... Anyway, big credits for what you did all day. Were you feeling good at the end of the day? And can you give any tips for how to avoid taking more than a couple of bites?!?
BBE: What you were saying about inlet valves etc Bill you may as well have been talking Japanese (I wouldn't know where to begin LOL), but credit for getting some stuff done around the house! Also, for leaving some rice. Rehab for the resistance muscle - I love it!!! By the way, if you are still hungry before the last bite do you STILL leave it? (I guess I could leave it and wait a while, right?)
Donamari: Well done for staying flat in December (wish I had). It's one pig of a month (or I am one pig of a pig). Glad you are back! (I was AWOL much of December too)... For the next time, irrespective I think I'll aim to do Beck every day, starting maybe thanksgiving. At least if I eat more mindfully the holiday season I might enjoy all that food MORE!
Beverlyjoy: I do hope you feel better soon. Pastry shop after a rest from food, you are a braver girl than me! I hope things go well at the doctors and that you stay on track in the pastry shop too.
Last edited by sarahbennett21; 01-04-2012 at 12:28 PM.
After days of warning, the batteries in my wii fit platform didn't have enough juice to weigh me this morning. Aw! I *really* felt like I was down. So, now, I have a built in excuse to get some exercise in by walking to the dollar store for batteries. It's sunny but frigid out: -15C. Cold. That's why I don't have the batteries yet; I've been waiting for it to get a wee bit warmer. I think this is as good as it gets today.
Foodwise I have weighed and measured and tracked so, *credit*. This is Day 2 back on plan and it feels so much better than being off plan. Even *worrying* about staying on plan, (while I am on plan), is infinitely better than being off plan for any length of time, and worrying about getting back on plan!
Crazy.
Better to keep it simple and stay on plan.
I'm supposed to be cleaning the joint today: doing dishes, getting stuff up and off the floor and into the garbage or the recyle or the give away boxes. I need to locate my printmaking tools and my printmaking papers and inks. I got a great whiteboard for ideas/planning and have to put that up so I can use it. I really want to use it.
Have I done any of this yet? No.
So, time to get something done. UPDATE: got the batteries but took the car. It really is cold! Weighed in and saw: 278.6 (+0.2). No biggie. I expect to see about 277-276 in the morning.
Thanks for being here coaches.
Welcome to the newbies!
sarahbennet21 Your adapted soliloquy is *brilliant* Thanks!
I just finished reading all of your posts thus far for 2012. I am ambivalent about the switch from all of the festivities to "business as usual". I think I will feel more like it is less festive in a few days. For now, I am just trying to make the transition. It is very cold here today with an overnight low of low 20s .
I had planned on resuming posting yesterday after being absent on the weekend but yesterday also launched my Buddy Challenge that I am hosting. I had 16 PMs in my In Box to respond to as soon as I turned on my computer so by the time I did that, it was already dinner for us. So, today, I decided to come here first so I would get my posting in here and not put it on the back burner.
beverlyjoy on the 8 lbs lost over the month of December. I weighed the same weight on January 1st that I did on November 1st. Since, I wanted to lose weight, I didn't meet my goal (so I feel somewhat like I "failed). I keep chiding myself that had I really knuckled down with putting my response cards and Beck skills to the "test", I might have been able to had a loss as well. I am trying to console myself with "no gain" but I'm just not rejoicing on that. I know how hard it was to stick to task during the past 5 weeks so Good Job in practicing that resistance and persistence muscle respectively.
onebyone I hear you when you say that you feel like you are riding on a slide trombone. Now that you know what to do to lose weight, I am sure that you will find it coming off easier this time. Great Attitude!
sarahbennet21 Love your poem!
To all others, glad to see the familiar once again this month and the start of the New Year. I have been posting here on this thread since February 2011. One of my first "memories" was when Bill said "Ouch!" when I shared that I couldn't leave the V-Day cupcakes alone. I remember saying to my DH, Paul, why did he say "Ouch!", I'm the one who ate them. Duh! LOL I didn't know the lingo then and the wool was definitely pulled tightly over my own eyes. Sometimes, I just can't believe my honesty. Wouldn't I make a really bad crook? What kept you from throwing me out on my ears, I will never know. Newcomers, that's the worse you will get for straying. Mr. Bill deflects your transgressions like the ozone layer above. Yes, such love exists! So, here's to another great year, ya'all!
Credit Having such a "clean" kitchen that although I wanted to continue eating like it was 2011, there was nary a crumb in the house. I ate everything sitting down (that is one of the 5 "rules" for my Buddy Challenge).
Credit Making Balance a Key Element in my daily life. I make sure I take time out for first thing morning prayer, some time on the computer (but not as much as I had in the past), Q time with Paul and pushing for enough sleep.
Credit For making sure that when I stray from my food plan, I don't stray far. I weigh every morning (and record it) then put the scales away and forget about it until the next morning.
Credit For taking ownership of my food plan by logging it every day. Although I agree with others here that it is harder to get back on plan, the fact that I am not straying as far as I once did makes it less difficult to get back on track than in the past. Now, I can set my jaw firm, I know what to do and I do it! Progress!
As for the debate about whether to read our advantage and/or response cards frequently, I guess, my answer has been: read them as often as you need to. One of the contestants of this past fall's season of "Biggest Loser" said "Finish What You Start". That is one of my new mantras that I am using for this coming year. I started something last year, now it is time to finish it.
I'm still working on Day 6 but I am determined to make mindful eating a habit before I move on. There are so many times that I eat something and barely remember I ate it, let alone tasted it. I am happy to say that after an indulgent weekend I am back on track. I made homemade vegetable soup last night and have had lots of fresh fruit and veggies so far today.
I've never been one to enjoy exercising but my husband and I are trying to make a habit of it now and use each other for an extra boost. If he uses the elliptical then I'm expected to do the same immediately after and vice-versa. He has pre-diabetes so I will push aside my aversion to exercise in order to get him moving.
It's getting pretty cold here too - bitter even.
Onebyone - I can't believe it's -15 where you are...I'm pretty whiny when it gets down below freezing! Stay warm on your trek for batteries!
OP day. I added some running intervals to my treadmill walk today - that felt good. I am thinking I might work my way up to starting Couch to 5K again soon.
Practiced all day again. I think there are a lot of days like that in my near future given the number of recital programs I have to learn. I just hope I can balance it all with being a good mom.
onebyone - WTG on the loss and 2 days OP!
maplover - exciting that you have your charm bracelet! That's such a cool way to reward yourself.
FFC - WTG staying on plan with the power of NO CHOICE!
gardenerjoy - I really admire your honesty with yourself (you saw that you did a good thing going back to plan A, but also that you ate more than you needed). So necessary on this journey.
sarahbennett21 - Nice to see you back!! LOL that Beck inspires you to be Shakespearian also. I follow WW which is great because of its flexibility, but I do try to choose the healthiest options I can - whole grains, lean proteins, lots of veg.
Welcome I am worth it! Well done with the hunger experiment! I always learn something from it.
Welcome also to SeasideSparkle!
Debbie (Lexxiss) - Great job staying on plan despite temptation!
BillBE - nice job on the annoying chores! Kudos for leaving rice … I don't always succeed in that.
Val - Thanks for the study link! Mindfulness is so awesome.
Beverlyjoy - Sending healing vibes for your pain - hope it abates soon.
Pam - I know how you feel about the transition out of the festive season. Our tree is still up till next weekend when the city picks them up, but I am working flat out. Weird.
melroseg2002 - Thanks for the reminder about mindful eating. I need to do a bit more of that myself.
Nearly bedtime for me - Wishing everyone a great night and an OP Wednesday,
Erika
Last night I did not review day 27, and did not do it today either. (I doubt it will happen after I post.) I planned my food, but did not say NO CHOICE when I wanted skim milk that took me over my daily calorie goal. Oh, well. At least it was with a healthy food and I am reminded that I need to include beverages in my planning and not just with my tracking. No exercise planned today, but did get in a bit of cleaning around the house and office. I sat and ate all of my food, but did not leave food on my plate all of the time. I did plan rather light meals today, which was nice. As far as my cards, I only thought about them in passing and did not read them in a concentrated fashion. Tomorrow's food is planned and I will try to get in another short walk with pupstar in the morning. I weighed this morning and was -1.0 pound.
My mom had major surgery today, and I am so relieved that she is doing OK, other than being in lots of pain (which is understandable). Thank goodness for that!
BeverleyJoy, hope the tea went well and that the doctor was helpful. I hope your gallbladder calms down soon!
BillBlueEyes, great job getting back on plan and working out that resistance muscle. Speaking of muscles and working out, I haven't heard you mention the gym lately. Are you feeling OK?
Eusebius, great job getting that practice in! Sometimes I find it really hard to get going on working on something when there is a great deal of anxiety attached to it. Awesome job at being OP! And, the fact that you are concerned about being a good mom while having lots to do tells me that they are in your heart first.
Fyreflie24, welcome back. Flat for December sounds pretty OK!
GardenerJoy, credit for keeping up with your cards and for sticking to your plan!
Iamworthit, good job waiting until you are hungry to eat. Good luck tomorrow on skipping a meal.
Lexxiss, great job pitching that extra food from work. Sometimes I forget to update my food log when I eat like that.
Melroseg2002, great job on the tag team eliptical with DH. That is awesome!
OneByOne, good job weighing in!
PamAtGA, good job posting, for recognizing the need to stay close to your plan, and for committing to finishing!
SarahBennett21, great job leaving food on your plate. It is tough to learn all new habits that are different from the way you've always been doing them.
Loved the literature. A few years ago I read some of the Geneen Roth books, where I was first introduced with the concept that I might actually be greatful to the fat I so hated and those same habits you speak of. It is tough to acknowledge this thing which haunts you has in some respects protected and comforted you at the same time.
Va1erie, good to see you post! Thanks for the reading.
I couldn't fully plan my eating today but ate as if I did. Love it when that happens. I also enjoyed seeing Monet's Water Lilies at the St. Louis Art Museum with a nephew and his girlfriend. Fun day!
WI: -0.2kgs, Exercise:+0 50/1300 minutes for January, Food: 80%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
sarahbennett21: love your literary tribute and I totally get where you are there. There are still bits of my heart in that coffin.
pamatga: this made me laugh: "although I wanted to continue eating like it was 2011" Thanks!
Yesterday was hard. I had a hard time getting back after two weeks off and struggled seriously with my food. I had some cookies after lunch and some sweet bread at a nighttime meeting.
I need to step up my water consumption. Also am struggling to get back to the gym.
There are so many unfinished projects I have to do at work that it stresses me out. In many ways my Mom's illness and my winter vacation allowed me to escape that stress (though subject myself to other stresses). Now I'm back in my pattern of waking up at 2:30 or 3 and not being able to go back to sleep.
Credit me: really desired to eat after I got home from the meeting (despite having eating a serving of sweet bread) but I went to bed instead.
Credit me: I felt full after eating my lunch (but this did not prevent me from eating those cookies maybe half an hour later.) I need to get a handle on why I have this overwhelming desire to eat in the afternoons. I think it may be a work avoidance mechanism.
Will start working today on Success Skill #6.
Beverlyjoy: glad to hear you are seeing the doctor about your pain.
Sarahb: love the poem!
onebyone: credit for getting the batteries (brrrr) instead of saying "I'll do it tomorrow."
pamatga: credit for the clean house, the sitting down, the logging
melroseg2002: Welcome! I'm working today (and probably for the next week or so) on mindfulness. I find this the hardest thing.
eusebius: I need couch to 5k too. Right now it's too darn cold!
FFC: no choice is hard.
Welcome to all the newcomers (and returners)!
Have not weighed yet today it being 4 in the morning.
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Happily lived my day on my food plan, CREDIT moi, until my walk, CREDIT moi, to Trader Joe's for some dried fruit and bananas. Problem was that their sample was Mandarin Orange Chicken. I was able to convince myself that that was rare and unusual. It's not. It's a breaded fried small chunk of chicken covered in sugar sauce. You know it's got the perfect combination of fat, salt, and sugar at the first bite when you want to eat the whole box, LOL. The one good thing about samples are that they are automatically limited to just one.
onebyone – Do understand that you guys got some real cold. I'm with you, "Better to keep it simple and stay on plan."
Joy (gardenerjoy) – Neat to demonstrate that you can stay your path even when the plan didn't happen.
Erika (eusebius) – Kudos just for the thought alone of doing the Couch to 5K again. I do know that tension between parenting and the rest of life.
Beverlyjoy – Hope the doctor's visit went well. Kudos for planning NO CHOICE at tea.
FutureFitChick – Kudos for a good day even with the stress of your mom's surgery - glad she's on a recovery path. [Alas, I'm feeling OK, but the gym hath fallen in the crack. Thanks for the nudge; I want to get back.]
Pam (pamaga) – Congrats on launching your Buddy Challenge - that should keep you out of the pantry for a spell. Wonderful reminder, "not straying as far as I once did makes it less difficult to get back on track."
Val (va1erie) – Thanks for the link; seems that mindfulness goes a long way.
Donamari (fyreflie24) – Flat weight despite a broccoli-rabe, Italian pork, garlic sandwich isn't bad.
maplover – I'm sending you supportive thoughts to get back to the gym since I'm struggling with that one also. Kudos for acknowledging and putting your attention to afternoon snacking.
Mark Anthony (sarahbennett21) – LMAO! Yep, love the dream to just bury the habit despite the painful recognition that a part of your heart is in that coffin. It's gone, along with December and a pound of mindlessness not taken. Yay for charging into January. [I'm not convinced that I'm particularly hungry when eating. I'm certainly into desire. Leaving a bite is mostly conditioned on remembering. The rice I just left was triggered by feeling satisfied and remembering that was enough.]
Melissa (melroseg2002) – Homemade vegetable soup is just the best. Kudos you using your DH to boost your own exercise.
Readers -
Quote:
chapter 4Stage 1The Success Skills Plan Success Skill 8Follow Your Plan, No Matter What
reality check If you are thinking:I just don't want to do this. I really don't think I have to. I can just plan in my head. Face reality: If you don't learn this important skill now, you will be at an extremely high risk of not reaching your goal to lose weight for good. Ask yourself, Which is more important to me? Not planning my food or getting to keep off weight for the rest of my life?
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 96.
My newly-powered wii fit scale/board gave me a reading of 275.5, -3.1lbs from last weigh-in. I was holding more water! yay! I'm only 1.1lbs from my 5% goal so that really makes me happy. I must work on *bellieving*. I don't think I really believe this is working, will work, has been working...or maybe the right word is "trust"? Everytime I set even the smallest weightloss goal, it feels more like a fight, like I am egging myself on, like I am on the sidelines and I am waiting for me to "prove it"--prove that it works, that I can do this, that what I am doing works; if I can prove it, then maybe I'll believe it.
Writing this out makes me wonder if the inner critical/challenging voice isn't a sabotaging thought? They feel like voices from my childhood truth be told; harsh critical ones. Those are never helpful to me; they shut me down. So I guess, for me, it's clear I need to say NO CHOICE to the skeptic. I just have to full heartedly BELIEVE I will reach my goals if I stick to my plan and just keep following it day after day after day until I reach my goal weight and shift into maintenance. Lucky for me I learn about that on the way, as I am already maintaining a loss.
Well, I can't find my glasses anywhere and can't drive unless I find them so I'd better get back to looking for them.
Erika: Yay on the loss and the workout! Keep it up!
Val: there's something to Mindfulness in so many aspects... thanks for that reminder... I've found it a huge boon in respect to eating/weight loss!
Future: Best to you and mom! Great work
Pam: you DO make an excellent point! A little stray is much preferred to a big stray... any and all progress and change, is progress and change!
Back on plan since we've been home. My husband and I have an appointment with a nutritionists tomorrow, so I'm excited about that! Gearing up for phase two of the weight loss journey. I should still be able to make my goal, but I need to be pretty diligent. Getting back in the swing of things is proving challenging... trying to balance kid/work/workouts is challenging right now. Giving myself this week to ease in and then off to the races!
Bill - congrats on sticking to your plan and taking that walk. Mandarin Orange Chicken does sound tempting and tasty but when you describe it as a sugar coated piece of friend chicken - much less appetizing
Onebyone - great job on the loss! I know where you are coming from with needing to "believe". I, too, sabotage myself with childhood criticisms and unrealistic limits. I think part of my current problems stem from being told that I "can't" eat something (and not because of any health/medical restrictions) and now as an adult I am rebelling against that. But I need to come to terms with the other side of the coin - I DO have control over what I eat now which means I need to be responsible and stop trying to rebel against this ghost from my past - I'm only punishing myself.
I did very well yesterday. I was hungry on my way home from work but instead of cramming food into my mouth when I got home, I chewed a piece of gum until dinner was ready. I had 1 turkey dog on whole wheat bun AND I counted the bun as my only carb for dinner. I have to give myself a BIG CREDIT for that. Usually, I don't count the bun as it's own food and will have fries or something with it. But instead, we had veggies and dip and apple slices! I also got in some time on the elliptical.
Our heater went out last night and the house was at 55 degrees...I have a sick kid at home too. Luckily, I have a very flexible husband so I was still able to get into work this morning and he'll wait on the technician to fix the heater. Stay warm everyone and have a great day!
Another quick check in today. Weighed everday and down a little each one so happy with that. Am giving myself big credit from yesterday for saying NO CHOICE to caramel popcorn, key lime chocolate macaroons, an open box of chocolates and licorce allsorts. Let me tell you the licorce allsorts were the hardest and I actually made myself leave the room!
gardenerjoy Absolutely love your quote "It's easier to stay on plan than it is to get back on plan." and may decide to add it to my signature and credit it to you!
BBE Great description of the mandarin orange chicken. You are right one bite leads to the whole box but thinking of what it really is I'm hoping will stop me.
melroseg2002 Good job on chewing gum when you got home while making dinner. I find myself chewing a lot of gum right after meals when I want something sweet.
onebyone Good job on sticking to it and your weigh in. I found the chapter on Believe in Beck to be very timely for me. Hold out for warmer weather, it's +14C in Calgary today, should get to Toronto in a couple days
sarahbennett21 Love the poem!
pamatga Great job on your new challenges. I watched the first episode of BL last night, should be interesting this season. You had talked about a pedometer you use, Omron (?) I believe. Can you let me know again, I'm going to Phoenix next week and might see if I can find one there.
Well I should get back to work, going to get some spontaneous exercise by walking some books back to the library (2 blocks east of my office) and then head to Safeway for a couple of grocery items (2 blocks west). Will be a nice little stroll.
Tuesday
Welcome to the newbies!
i am worth it and seaside sparkle
. 
beverlyjoy on the 8 lbs lost over the month of December. I weighed the same weight on January 1st that I did on November 1st. Since, I wanted to lose weight, I didn't meet my goal (so I feel somewhat like I "failed). I keep chiding myself that had I really knuckled down with putting my response cards and Beck skills to the "test", I might have been able to had a loss as well. I am trying to console myself with "no gain" but I'm just not rejoicing on that. I know how hard it was to stick to task during the past 5 weeks so Good Job in practicing that resistance and persistence muscle respectively.
LOL I didn't know the lingo then and the wool was definitely pulled tightly over my own eyes. Sometimes, I just can't believe my honesty. Wouldn't I make a really bad crook? What kept you from throwing me out on my ears, I will never know. Newcomers, that's the worse you will get for straying. Mr. Bill deflects your transgressions like the ozone layer above. Yes, such love exists! 
So, here's to another great year, ya'all!
Wednesday
sabotaging thought? They feel like voices from my childhood truth be told; harsh critical ones. Those are never helpful to me; they shut me down. So I guess, for me, it's clear I need to say NO CHOICE to the skeptic. I just have to full heartedly BELIEVE I will reach my goals if I stick to my plan and just keep following it day after day after day until I reach my goal weight and shift into maintenance. Lucky for me I learn about that on the way, as I am already maintaining a loss. 
