Sunday
 

Diet Coaches/Buddies - Some walking (CREDIT moi) when out looking to see if the Spring Warblers had arrived yet; they hadn't at the place we looked, but a zillion American Robins were building nests and acting like teenagers in love.

Eating was on the upper end of on-plan, CREDIT moi - upper end because I ate more at a friends house for dinner than I would have at home. Fortunately, it takes a bunch of shrimp to be too many calories. Earlier in the day I had passed over a just-out-of-the-oven cupcake; a special CREDIT moi for that singular act.


Joy (gardenerjoy) - Bon Voyage on your journey into the pink book. I love the joy in your Advantage: "I want to wake up each day hungry and energetic."

Debbie (Lexxiss) - Ouch for feeling sick; I hope that chicken/barley soups works its wonders on your system. It's a good day when you choose "not to order a pizza or eat donuts."

ChefJoona - Kudos for keeping your priorities, "Used some Beck skills," when celebrating with friends - an occasion that is seductive toward just letting go.

RunningFree - Yay for busy with job training to help direct your energy away from eating. And Kudos for bringing out your "distraction activities chart" when you needed it.

Readers -

Good morning,

Credit for shredding with Jillian Michaels yesterday... and I'm in less pain than I was last weekend! I'll be starting my day out the same way today! I know the program is intended to be done daily, but I'm not sure I'll be able to fit it in every day. I'll aim for 4 times a week to start with.

Left half the bun from my veggie burger and most of the fries on my plate last night when out to a burger place with my friends. Today we're having lunch at a woodfired flatbread place and dinner here at my house. I am handmaking pasta.

Weight was up one pound from Thursday this morning. Not suprising with the way I have been eating the last several days... lots of sodium. Again, it will not derail all my efforts!

BillBE Definite CREDIT for resisting the cupcake!
Lexxiss Hoping you feel better soon... credit for making healthy food choices even when you aren't feeling great.
Runningfree Keep up the hard work and committment!
gardenerjoyWhat a great new list of advantages!

It is rainy and cold up here in the Green Mountains... even saw some snow flakes last night. Not letting it get me down! :carrot:

spring snowfall on a Sunday Morning
 

Hi Coaches

We spent the day downtown yesterday and it was good. Finally moved a few things into my downtown artists studio: a set of drawers (all empty), about 5 canvases, a folding rocking chair that belonged to DH's grandmother which we never ever used, a stool from IKEA that DH hates. Someone's got their stuff all over my tiny space so that's got to change but otherwise it was nice to just get some stuff in there. I heaved a tiny sigh of relief that maybe, just maybe, I may be joining the artistic stream again.

After this, we went to get our timed tickets to see the Tim Burton exhibition and found out our entry time was for 5:30. It was 1:00. So we headed off to the movies, using the underground pathways and the subway.

ooooo! I am in the Big City for sure :carrot:

*Credits included: no theatre snacks, walking 60+, just getting out when I was feeling very down the night before.

The Tim Burton exhibit was fantastic--many many drawings of his, lots of movie props from every movie he's done including extensive notes and storyboard about my all time favorite scene in The Nightmare Before Christmas, my favorite film and the scene is Jack's Lament as he climbs the curly hill under the full moon and is filled with angst over his lot in life. So exciting to see THE real thing and where it came from. And seeing his drawings encourages me to keep drawing and to try some more ink and wash drawings. They can be spectacular.

But then, we got way too tired, came home, ordered pizza and ate it all. ALL. hmmmm.

I was *very aware*, much much more than I have been for months and months, that I want this extra weight off of my body. Like coaches, I'm serious. Walking is so hard! So exhausting! I hate that. I hate not feeling like I can zip from here to there at will. even just sharing the bed with DH is harder as we are both bigger and fight for space on our double bed. My jeans are at their max. They were already just "good enough" jeans because they fit me and nothing more and to outgrow them is horrible. DH scored free promotional clothing at his work and brought them home by the armsful this week. The size: XXXL. 3X. 3X!
And they fit.
They fit us both.
They are comfortable and roomy.
2X? A little snug.
How can this be acceptable?
Well it isn't or I wouldn't be here.
Everyone I am meeting is a normal weight or a little bit above. I am really the exception so far. I just don't want to be "exceptional" in this way anymore. I really don't need to be this size any longer. It can go now. I can feel that I am ready to let it go and that I simply want to be smaller and fitter more than I want to have extra food. Things are changing. I'm tired of my old self and my old ways of eating and of carrying this old weight that's making me feel older than I am inside!

Today is a trip for turkey dinner at DH's mom's house, my M-I-L the foodpusher. She's already said she has frozen food for me to take home.
Food, she says, she bought for DH when he was staying over but he didn't stay as long as she thought so she overbought. She'll be sending us home with a plate too she said so be ready for it. My compost bin is ready and waiting MIL...

One serving, and no seconds will be my guide today at her house.

So that's the way things are today coaches. I'm getting very excited as we
leave for our Florida vacation Thursday night. We'll be driving! 28 hours to Key West from where we are. We'll take 3 days to get there, spend 3 nights in Key West, the next night head up toward Cape Canaveral, then see the shuttle launch on the Friday (if it stays on schedule) then Sat and Sun drive back home. Poor Caesar will be alone all that time with daily cat sitter visits.
The week after we get home I have to head to Ottawa for Thursday night to attend the opening reception at Ottawa City Hall for artwork purchased by the city in 2010. My giant bus strike handmade print will be there, FRAMED. Can't wait to see what a frame does to it. It was 7 feet long by 5 feet wide when I finished it, and I said it could be trimmed by an inch or two to take care of the ratty edges if they thought it needed it. I am very curious to see what it looks like.

I will be wearing all black to that show-I already know it... unless I get something fabulous on my Florida vacation?!

Anyway, that's the state of things here. Progress.

Enjoy your Sunday coaches.

Day 2: Two Reasonable Diets
I've been thinking through this and I've decided that I want this to be more about what I eat and less about counting calories or exchanges. By this, I think I mean that I want to experiment with whether 2 thin slices of toast or half a cup of cereal seems to work better for me for breakfast. Or if they are about the same. And similar questions throughout the day. So, rather than picking two diets, I'm committing myself to 42 days of copious logging my food with lots of notes about how I feel and awareness of what works well and what could work better.

WI: NAkgs, Exercise: +0* 680/1500 minutes for April, Food: 80%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

BillBlueEyes: we've been seeing that robin behavior! Lots of the equivalent of punching each other in the arm.

ChefJoona: Yay for Jillian Michaels two days in a row. Great job leaving half the bun and most of the fries -- that's my favorite method of keeping a burger and fries dinner in check.

onebyone: yay for this: "I can feel that I am ready to let it go and that I simply want to be smaller and fitter more than I want to have extra food."

Hi friends... I haven't run away or disappeared. It's been a roller coaster of emotions this week- between no surgery and my son and daughter-in-law losing their pregnancy/baby. Thanks to all of you for your kind thoughts and support. They are very helpful to me.

I am not using my Beck techniques as I should. I have been on plan part of the time I have been 'caving' in to the stres in the evening. On Friday, DH brought home ice cream and candy. He copes with stress with those things too... but, is not overweight. I caved to jelly beans & I don't even like them. Everything must go. I am not strong enough to deal with this temptation. Dr. Beck stresses to keep the environment friendly for success with food. I'll talk to DH about it. Of course, I didn't have to eat the goodies, but...

I've been on plan today and got out my journal to write it all down.

Thanks again...

Lexxiss, wish you get better soon. And credit for making wise food choices.

BillBlueEyes, yay for having a nice bird watching time. And to resist that cupcake must have taken a lot of strength. Credit for that.

ChefJoona, credit for shredding with Jillian. I believe 4 time a week for a start is very good.

onebyone, credit for having your compost bin ready for MIL food. LOL. And congrats on having your print framed in City Hall.

gardenerjoy, yay for your plans to experiment with food and find what works for you best.

Beverlyjoy, we are with you. Everything passes. Hard times passes too.

Hello everyone:

Time for just a few personals:

BillBlueEyes- we got our first robins this week up here. So nice to see them back. Crows and eagles are back too.

ChefJoona-big credit for exercising and leaving food on the plate.

onebyone- like the attitude throughout your post- "no theatre snacks, walking 60+, just getting out when I was feeling very down the night before."," I want this extra weight off of my body", "Things are changing", My compost bin is ready and waiting MIL", Hope you have a wonderful trip to Florida. Such exciting news about the reception at Ottawa City Hall. That is a great honour.

gardenerjoy-I like your plan to really pay attention to what your eating and what works the best. This is such a statement that our eating changes are not a temporary diet, they are for life.

Beverlyjoy- so sorry for your loss.

RunningFree- I like what you said about just wanting a normal life and to stop obsessing about dieting. I am there too.

Lexxiss- hope you are feeling better today.

For me the week has been a mixed bag of really great onplan days and some not great, but not horrible days.

Today credit so far for:

-weighing in
-eating healthy breakfast and lunch
-doing weights
-just heading out for a walk with mom

:grouphug:

Beverlyjoy I'm so sorry for your loss.

Coaches/Buddies I'm back from two back-to-back weeks of travel for work. It was successful, but tiring and I missed my kids. I did a couple better things the second week of travel including downloading the apps that were recommending here, including Alarmed, which is a free version of the reminder program and Study Flash, a flash card app that pretty much replicates the experience of reading Beck ARC and RC cards for me. Down to the index card look. Anyway, the week was better, but not good.

As I've dug out from under, reality has hit. I have sized up. #$%@. Ok, so for whatever reason, diet #1 (calorie counting) has failed, not the diet so much as my ability to follow it, and I'm resetting with diet #2. Wait for it, Slim Fast. I hate this, but find it exceptionally good at keeping me mindful, and resetting some bad habits I'm not having much luck breaking any other way. I'm giving this 2-4 weeks and then moving back to calorie counting. Post-triathlon exercise plan is still forming, but I can see it from here.

Anyway, I cleaned out my closet and dresser, fantasy clothes gone, new clothes purchased, and I'm moving on. The smaller clothes were worn and out of style anyway.

Onward. I think I have enough mental energy and time to do this now.

Anne

Hi Coaches!

Another sick day...I felt overwhelmed with things I needed to get done. Instead, I made one thing mandatory; precut my big salad and prepare something healthy for dinner. done. I kept wanting to sidetrack but I recognized my #1 priority. Exercise was riding my bike on a 4 min. RT to 7-11 to return a movie. I travelled w/o money just in case the stale donuts called my name. On my return, I reflected that I used to have such a hard time on my bike and now it's a breeze...even when I'm sick. *credit* moi today for practicing Beck skills and getting even a small amount of exercise when I really don't feel like it.

BillBlueEyes, yay for passing on the cupcake and instead enjoying shrimp ad a friends house. *credit*for a nice bird walk, too. BTW- you asked...my pup got a very nice plaque from the banquet.

pamatga, I hope you enjoyed your retreat.

Erika(eusebius), I hope you've gotten some rest this weekend!

onebyone, *credit* for having a compost plan for MIL's take home….and a plan for the meal at her house.

ChefJoona, great that you are able to set a reasonable goal with Jillian instead of something that will just be too much.

Beverlyjoy, good realizing when it's time to talk with DH about the junk food.

gardenerjoy, great insights as you rework Day 2.

RunningFree, great that you are noticing right away that your new activities are distracting you away from food.

CeeJay, *credit* for both on plan and not horrible days. Even not horrible does make a difference.

AnneWonders, welcome back! Good for downloading the apps and rethinking your #1 and #2 diet.

Hello Beck Folks: Good to read you all again. Just reading today's post I can see that everybody is smack in the mainstream of this life. I understand onebyone's post of desperate reality. "This is it. I want this weight off." Boy, I know how that feels. At one point in my life I was over 200 pounds barely able to ride the bike I had at college - my only form of transportation. I was practically double the weight of every other co ed on campus. I would day dream everyday of the time I would wake up and be thin and beautiful. I would make up magical chants and when that failed I would make up self flagellating chants. Anything to change. It took me walking through years of inner stuff (family alcoholism, my own alcoholism, depression, ) before any weight dropped. That was a result of finally understanding myself a little and realizing I was a person who enjoyed exercising. Surprise. So for years I just exercised - lost 25 pounds without changing my eating. Then I came to Beck. This journey of finally looking at the eating stuff is the greatest challenge of my life. I am getting better. For the first time in my life I am classified as NOT overweight. I am often scared and anxious but I keep practicing the principles of the program. Short story on everyones post: all the things you are doing have worked for me in the short run and the long run. Anne Wonders: When I donated dream clothes and bought new and bigger 5 years ago, I never knew it would eventually allow me to donate the BIGGER sizes and be in my dream size. Gardernerjoy: Logging how each meal feels is sometimes the only food practice I can do - not change what I eat, just be aware. BBE: A walk to find the spring birds and being exacted about it without rewarding myself with a double fudge sundae is a miracle. I remember the old diet days: Philosophy: If I couldn't eat, why go? Lexxiss: Cutting the vegis is a triumph. It means I am half way home. Ceejay a mixed bag of OP and not is how I maintain. Beverleyjoy: the tough part of doing all this work is that it is not isolated. It is dead in the middle of real life dramas and heartaches like a lost baby.

So three cheers to us all. I have been MIA this week because my DS was running a VERY high temp for 5 days and we were up round the clock alternating Tylenol and Advil. Thankfully he is better. Thankfully I don't have to eat anymore like I was eating during the stress. Thankfully the eating wasn't worse. Thankfully I sit only two pounds up from ticker and have 47 mins OP as I write. And when I wake up tomorrow at 6:00 am I will have 12 hours and the beginning of another OP day.

I'm brand spanking new. I just bought the The Beck Diet Solution the other day. I'm "officially" starting tomorrow, but I read ahead a little and saw that I'd need a coach/support group. I've lurked here for a long time, but decided to finally register.

So, um... hi! :)

A little about me: I seem to have been gaining and losing the same 15 pounds for most of my adult life. (Although, let's be honest. The bottom number of that fifteen has risen over time!) I've tried most of the diet variations, low fat, low carb, shakes, veggie, you name it. I work hard to lose the weight, and then I relax and gain it all back... and the cycle begins again.

I've done a lot of thinking about the issue lately. I've come to the conclusion that I need to change the way I think about food and eating if I want to reach a goal weight and keep it. I've considered seeing a therapist but I think that self-administered CBT coupled with an online support group will be effective for me.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to the journey and to making some new friends along the way.

chinakat

I had a mixed bag this weekend. Great Friday night with girlfriends at a free spa event where I managed to eat "okay" in a social setting and had a lot of fun. Then found out on Friday night that my parents were robbed and lost a tremendous amount of stuff. It is just "stuff" and I am extremely grateful that nothing more happened, but unfortunately much of what the thieves stole were heirloom jewelry my mother had from many generations. Dealing with that and the overwhelming stress of moving/packing, I didn't make as good choices today. Starting Week 4 in the Pink Book tomorrow and hope to be back on track 100%.

chinakat - welcome!

BillBlueEyes - thanks for the link to your Man-Salad. I love raw vegetables and it looks delicious. Also *credit for asking a stranger for help at the gym AND declined the cupcake!

ChefJoona - hope the weekend visit from your friends was fun.

Lexxiss - What was your pup being honored for? Glad to hear you made good choices at the awards dinner. Good job not ordering the junk food - hope you are feeling better today.

CeeJay - nice job staying OP while on your road trip!

gardenerjoy - yay for throwing away the almond butter and re-creating a set of advantages that apply to your current well-being.

pamatga - hope your retreat was productive and inspiring.

Beverlyjoy - I'm so so sorry to hear about your loss. Sending supportive thoughts and hugs your way.

Welcome chinakat
 

:welcome: chinakat :welcome:

And, on the occasion of your first post, :wel3fc:

How did you find out about the books by Dr. Judith Beck?

And how did you find 3 Fat Chicks and this Beck thread?

Monday
 

Diet Coaches/Buddies - Decided to plan my course when I would face some tempting foods in the morning. So I decided to choose one item and use NO CHOICE against the rest. It worked; two cakes appeared as well as four platters of cookies (including a shortbread dipped in dark chocolate that I remember to be yummy) and ... get this ... a bowl of roasted almonds - my nemesis - all ignored. CREDIT moi, CREDIT moi, CREDIT moi. Then I had dinner at a Mexican Restaurant with DW and only had 3 chips with the salsa and ordered Mexican Cactus for my entree. Ignored the rice and only had 1/2 of one of the two tortillas served. As good as I do with Mexican.

And a good walk, CREDIT moi. More plants springing up, more birds active.


onebyone - The artist is successfully setting herself up in her new town; Kudos for always moving forward as well as for having a clear attitude about your MIL's food. Exciting that you'll get to see your bus strike print - I remember that.

Anne (AnneWonders) - Ouch for "#$%@" with Kudos for "I'm moving on." Glad your two weeks are over - your kids are at the age it's hard not to see them every day. Good luck with Slimfast - it's always a surprise to find out what tweaks our brains onto the path we want.

CeeJay - OK, "mixed bag ... but not horrible" - you can deal with that. [Jealous of your eagles - I have to drive for an hour to reliable see a Bald Eagle.]

Joy (gardenerjoy) - Neat to design a plan to be just what you need. [LOL at "punching each other in the arm."]

Beverlyjoy - Of course the emotions continue - you've been hit with two major emotional events right on top of each other. Keep the faith, you'll make your way through this. Ouch for the comfort foods when you seek comfort, with Kudos for being on plan today.

Debbie (Lexxiss) - Now that's planning ahead - carry no money around the stale donuts so they can't go home with you. Kudos for "mandatory" that you precut your salad and healthy dinner despite the overwhelmed.

maryann - Ouch for having to watch as your DS fought off "a VERY high temp" - I remember the feeling of utter helplessness as I watched when my kids suffered like that. Glad he's better. Kudos for maintaining awareness of your path while you were struggling with reality.

ChefJoona - Yay for enjoying a burger place with your friends while still finding a way to stay your path. Gotta love, "Again, it will not derail all my efforts!"

RunningFree - Waving back; hope the job training continues to go well.

tarte - Ouch for dealing with the robbery of your parent's "stuff" - it's a real violation of the self and a loss to be grieved. (If you are more computer facile than they are, you might take on the task of monitoring eBay and Craig's list to see if you can spot their things put up for sale.) Kudos for eating "okay" at a spa event - it's great to demonstrate that you can have a healthy eating plan at the same time as having friends.

chinakat - Neat trick to jump ahead and solve the Diet Coach/Diet Buddy problem first. You're way ahead by already having figured out that "I need to change the way I think about food and eating" and that "self-administered" Cognitive Therapy is a solid approach to doing that - to breaking the old dieting cycle. Which of Dr. Judith Beck's books are you reading?

Glad that you've joined us.


Readers -

Morning Coaches/Buddies!

It's been an insane weekend and the rest of the month promises to be similar. My apologies for not posting. I did stay OP all weekend and was rewarded with a 2.6 loss this week. That's 4.6 since I started back with the Beck behaviours ... not bad.

I was in Toronto all day yesterday playing for singers who are competing in a music festival next week. It was pretty brutal, but I didn't react by eating. I got lucky that one of the teachers is doing the Ideal Protein diet and served me a salad with low cal dressing and smoked salmon for lunch.

Today I am utterly beat, but feel pressured to practice a lot in between rehearsals. I need to be kind to myself, though this doesn't always come easily.

I apologize for not doing personals today - I'm so behind that I would need too much time to catch up. Hugs to all.
cheers
Erika

Read ARC: yes
Sat down to eat: yes
Gave myself credit: yes
Walking: planned rest day but lots of spontaneous
Yoga: yes Sat, no Sun