On plan eating day yesterday, but only a tiny bit of credit for exercise (some spontaneous at work, and a few reps of free weights). I was exhausted when I got home from work and napped instead of getting out in the sunshine.
Feeling low today, with not much to say.
RunningFreeCongratulations on the job news! MaryContrary Hugs for the tough day at home. Credit for all the exercise and taking the time to post- both healthy choices!
BBE Isnt a pitted prune a dried plum? You're pulling on my blondeness, aren't you? I was just reading what Dr. Beck said about "adding more water to an already full glass". I am thinking that I might be approaching that or passed it. I am posting to four different groups. I am just trying to figure out if I am giving enough attention to the "personals". I don't want to neglect any one here since I began with you first. First is, well, first. Having said that, I do like the accountability in accepting these challenges.
Here's why: if I hadn't accepted the challenge of drinking more water back in early February, I wouldn't be drinking an average of 80 oz per day.
If I hadn't joined BLC site, I wouldn't have gotten in the habit of logging every bite I eat every day. Yes, like someone else said here, there are many other wonderful sites (free too!) where you can do this. I started doing it there and I guess, it is most familiar. When I didn't have a computer for awhile this past fall and early winter, I was doing it by long hand. It doesn't take any longer (well, a few mins.) to do that and you can get the same results.
This new challenge is well very challenging: points for everything---sleeping, preplanning meals, staying within calorie range, drinking water, exercising, no sugar consumption, fruits n vegetables; to name the main ones. I see this as a way to establish all of these as habits which when the challenge is over, they should be in place. I'm all for that. This is the missing cornerstone in my weight lose efforts: structure, day in and day out. No excuses! One problem though: I actually am finding that all the reporting is tiring me out.
There is one very obvious value in all the reporting: accountability. Had I not weighed in every day in March, I wouldn't have seen, in black an white, how eating out a lot with all the added sodium was benching me for weight lose results. It was an effective eye opener.
Something just dawned on me. I feel like a weakling saying this but, for now, I need this "crutch", just like your foot, Bev, needs that orthotic. I need to report to others until I am doing it auto pilot. Until I believe in myself and my own abilities to self-monitor myself. I feel like the "Good Witch" just told me I had the ability to go home all along. I feel as incredulous as that sounded to Dorothy. Really? So, what was this all about? A road trip in technicolor?
Here's the deal, Beckies: I made a committment and I am going to see it through until these particular challenges are over. Then, I am going to see (Memorial Day is the end of this latest one) if I can fly solo and see if I can put into practice what I am doing now without all the additional reporting. That should bring me back to you, where it all started.
Well, the Amish have a term for this: "jumping the fence". At some point, the younger ones want to see what it's like on the other side. Some stay over there, some come back. Thanks for being so kind in your hospitality. I love you all.
P.S. I'm still reporting here daily but I just am giving up my other groups and coming back here to give you my 100%. I didn't want to confuse anyone.
Did several household tasks yesterday *credit* including doing all the dishes, even at 10pm so that I would not wake up to dishes in the sink. Result? It was as great as I thought it would be to wake up to a clean empty sink.
Got up at 5:30am to get the garbage out. I'm really messed up with this recycling business. Don't know why this is so tough--yes I do! PERFECTIONISM. OMG. Of course. All or nothing. Black and white thinking. Hello? I was hung up on a takeout coffee cup. Is it recyclable? In the end I took it out of the recycle bin for the trash bag. Then I carried the trash bag to the curb and left it there, came in, then realized it's not trash week. That's every 2 weeks and was last week, so I had to go back and retrieve it and the two camping chairs that are broken. Our trash can is 1/2 full with someone else's stuff too. I don't know if they are recyclables, trash, or what. And I still have a box of stuff in the middle of the kitchen floor, but when the bins get emptied today I can deal with it and out it goes to the backyard for next week's pick-up. I am floored that this has got me so bogged down.
I'm going to stick to fruits and veggies today along with a couple of boiled eggs and salad dressing. Nothing more that that today. And I'm going to record it again today. I have been feeding myself too much food and need to make a change in quantity and in quality.
So the piano dealer has my big fat deposit cheque now and we just need to wait for the piano to get here from Miami. (Maybe I should just take a vacation instead, LOL.) I'm a bit uncertain about how the financing is going to work but the dealer has shown indications that he wants to be flexible ... Trying to stay in the moment and trust that it will all work out as it should.
The meditation class was great and the instructor is encouraging me to take the meditation instructor course, which is running over a weekend in June. I am seriously considering this. I know the new group will need teachers and I want to see it succeed. I had extra WW points left over today so I stopped into Starbucks for a latte and a shortbread cookie on my way home.
Nearly an hour of spontaneous walking yesterday! And the scale is starting to show an encouraging trend ...
Today is clarinet lesson day, otherwise known as Ibuprofen Wednesday, lol. Also I'll be doing the hunger experiment while I play for all those kids ... wish me luck Today is also Day 13 - Overcome Cravings, so I'm reviewing those techniques as well.
RunningFree - CONGRATS on your new job prospect!! Great news! onebyone - Big kudos for tracking on fitday.com and setting goals for yourself!! This is very positive stuff. gardenerjoy - I am restraining myself from making a rude joke about promiscuous trees, lol. No doubt you've heard them all already. Good idea to focus on after dinner eating! tarte - Good idea to reinforce the Week 3 behaviours. I'll be starting Week 3 on Friday so we'll be at the same spot! Ann (Newlifestyle) - Isn't it great that the spring weather is finally here? I hear that many people are dissatisfied with the new point system on WW and are going back to the old plan, so you're not alone. It is working for me so far, but that's just one person's experience. Hope you are able to figure out what's going on with your knee. Shepherdess - Yay for improved eating days! Sounds like lambing is pretty intense physically (for you and the ewes, lol). Beverlyjoy - Kudos for giving yourself credit on a less-than-perfect day (which for me is nearly all of them!) How great that you may be back to work this summer!! Debbie (Lexxiss) - Man, those special occasion dinners are a challenge. Credit for coming up with a new plan! maryblu - keep posting ... we all benefit from your experience and wisdom! MaryContrary - (((Hugs))) I am very glad to hear you have found a therapist ... sounds like a difficult situation. Big credit for keeping the Beck behaviours going regardless. Gender studies is such a fascinating field. I imagine it's changed quite a bit since I was in school. BillBE - Great job avoiding the dreaded samples! I often wish there was a Whole Foods here in town, but then when I hear about the samples I'm just as happy it's an hour away, lol. ChefJoona - Sorry you're feeling low - kudos for an on plan day though! pamatga - Challenges can really help with accountability. I lost a whole bunch of weight that way a few years ago. It blew up in my face when I realized I didn't have a maintenance strategy. That was before the Beck books came out ... now I see how valuable they are! Glad to hear you will still be posting here regularly.
Wishing everyone a great (Ibuprofen) Wednesday!
cheers
Erika
Read ARC: yes
Sat down to eat: yes
Gave myself credit: yes
Walking: yes 15 min plus an hour spontaneous
Yoga: yes
I'm back again so this is an update from my first of the morning free flow "thinking out loud". I do this from time to time so just a forewarning. I am one of those who pulls off Band-Aids "like that". You know what I mean!
The fact that I was dreading all the posting was telling me what to do. I "officially" withdrew from all of my groups but this one. As my DH pointed out, "Better to be Master of one tool than Jack of all trades." I knew it was the right thing to do the second that I hit "Send" after giving my official resignation. Although I agree that accountability is a great thing to do, it was the constant reporting that was really taking its toll. Spreading myself too thin is really boomeranging on me. I have not quit the BLC site. I am simply going to go it alone. I use their online tracking tools for my food and exercise logs per their recommendations for my optimal weight lose and health. They have physiology, exercise training, nutrition et al experts that at my disposal, which I have consulted as I needed it.
I feel the bottom line with me is loving myself enough to do what is best for me.
BBE what I loved about Whole Foods is the fact my son worked there for four years while going to college. I used his discount when he was visiting and he sent me all kinds of samples when they were switching out their stock. We have a beautiful one about 2 miles from me. Even my son was impressed with its double-size compared to the one he worked at in Philly. Here they also give out free "whole" food products; as in, jars of pasta sauce, etc. from time to time, not to mention, free cooking classes. Sweet!
Eusebius my DH is a registered piano technician and has tuned pianos since 1987. I was telling him about your new purchase. He said the keys are the length of his arms. Mean anything to you? Me neither! I know you will enjoy that for years to come.
Late and short today. We had an interesting back stage tour at the Missouri Botanical Garden followed by lunch at a Thai restaurant. I chose well (Vegetables Pad Thai), but could have left more on my plate. I have difficulty with that sometimes. If I choose something I know is decadent, I'm more likely to leave half. But if I choose the healthiest item on the menu, I somehow feel entitled to eat it all, whether it's an appropriately-sized portion or not. Hmmm. Awareness may help there.
WI: NAkgs, Exercise: +60* 550/1500 minutes for April, Food: 85%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
onebyone: changes in trash/recycling throw everyone for a loop. Our whole community just made a big change with curbside recycling and it was the talk of the town for months. We had been recycling at a drop off center before, and it was still confusing because the rules changed! Don't worry, though, it all starts to feel normal after a few weeks.
I can give myself credit for posting today but little else. Overate and off-plan both yesterday and today and am dealing with feelings of frustration. I re-read Beck tonight (especially the Get Back On Track chapter) and am feeling better but feel that these "slip-ups" still happen a lot more than they should be and continue to erode the little confidence I build up during the week.
I'm also dealing with some stress but that doesn't seem like a valid excuse. Skinny people have stress too!
Well, as you know from my posts yesterday, I am now just posting here. Last night, I reread the book. As I told BBE when I first connected with this group, I had read the book when it first came out. As I was rereading it, I had so many deja vus. I know this stuff. Some of it has become second nature to me so what happened? I don't remember what disrupted my progress with this. Maybe, it will come back to me as I move through the initial day by day 6 week program.
Credit Moi:Even though there is always a let down when we let go of some support, I did not eat over it. The people who had been supporting me e-mailed me so I spent a while reassuring them I was okay and I hadn't disappeared off the diet planet. These were the same people I figured who would do this so my instincts were right.
Instead, I emailed a contact person for an upcoming women's spiritual retreat at my church this coming weekend. If they still are accepting people that is what I will be doing this weekend.
Then, I made a light but OP chicken sandwich and raw vegetables for "supper" (DH has choir practice on Wednesday nights) while reading the first four chapters of BDS. I decided to do exactly as Ms. Beck says: do one exercise per day (at least).
The Advantage/Response card -Day 1- was easy. I know why I am doing what I am doing.
#1 reason [for wanting to lose all of this extra weight]--to avoid complications from diabetes if I don't address this new (since late 2009) development with my health.
#2 reason-just be able to tick this off my "to do" list once and for all and be done with it. I absolutely hate unfinished business!
#3 reason-every time I see myself in the mirror I am reminded of why I gained the weight in the first place and since I have dealt with that main cause my outer self does not reflect my inner beautiful self.
I slept from 10 pm-4 am. I took two additional Tylenol PMs just now so I will probably return to bed for another 90 minutes so I won't be facing the rest of the day tired.
I had a light breakfast with 67 carb grams. [FYI: for diabetics, the instructor from that 4 part class I took back in March, 45-60 carb grams is the ideal range for each meal so as to avoid insulin spikes, which set our appetites for overeating and additional insulin-driven hunger. Managing diabetes is all about managing your carbs. And, guess what, the best diet for a diabetic is again healthy eating.]
Tarte I am available to listen if you need to talk about the added stress and don't want to post publicly. If not, I want you to know I "understand". I have been through a rough several years. I am just treading water right now, grateful the seas of life have calmed for the time being.
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Major shopping event here. The time came for me to admit that the sweat pants that I was wearing 81 pounds ago are too large, despite the ability of the elastic waist band to almost hold them up without the tie string. So, I went shopping and bought a new pair in my current size, CREDIT moi, in black, of course, despite the stacks and stacks of un-sweat-pantsy colors available. Did I ever mention that my idea of **** is a gigantic shopping mall where you're required to buy a wardrobe of clothes each day?
Both gym and walk, CREDIT moi. Walking in the rain, when warm enough, is just fun. And eating was on plan, CREDIT moi, with sardines for lunch with my Man Salad because I've been lazy and haven't cooked up a batch of something recently.
onebyone - Ouch for the travails of mastering a new location's recycling plan. Sounds like the beginning of a plan, "need to make a change in quantity and in quality."
Erika (eusebius) - If a professional musician travels to Miami with her family to select a Steinway, it's a legitimate business expense deductible from her income taxes. Feel free to use me as your reference should you get audited.
Joy (gardenerjoy) - Thanks for the insight that we drop our guard after ordering the healthiest item on the menu.
ChefJoona - OK, here's "only a tiny bit of" Kudos for standing down your tired and doing some exercise, LOL.
pamatga - Alas it's true, California marketing has invented fashionably cool Dried Plums to replace those awful prunes that old people eat, LOL. Kudos for making choices in how you use your on-line time, with bonus Kudos for taking the time to let people know you were leaving, since it's more common to just disappear and leave folks wondering.
You've got a powerful motivator with "I absolutely hate unfinished business!"
tarte - Yep full Kudos for posting, and Double Kudos for posting when you don't especially feel like it. It's a challenge to separate frustration from eating to try to make it go away. You can read it here, over and over, "Eating does not cure frustration." It's a hard one to fight, so reading and re-reading Beck's chapter on getting back on track is worth while.
Readers -
Quote:
chapter 3 Get Ready to Lose
Before you start, however, I would like you to do the following 10 essential tasks. task 3 Make Time for Dieting
I want you to know that you won't always have to spend so much time and energy on dieting, but you will need to do so in the beginning. With practice, your new skills will become second nature, but even then you will periodically need to spend extra time and energy on dieting as you face life's challenges.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D, The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 34.
No credit for exercise yesterday, but I really impressed myself with my resistence skills!
I sat in a meeting for TWO hours with boxes of pizza (my favorite food) and people eating it around me, and did NOT take a piece! I had already eaten my on plan lunch and had an on plan snack for after the meeting. It wasn't easy- I had thoughts about taking a piece but I talked back to them! It defintiely built my resistence muscle.
Then... dinner with friends at a place specializing in loaded up burgers and hot dogs (neither one are on the top of my favorite food list)... everyone else ordered junk and I ordered a grilled chicken salad- why waste calories on something I don't even like! I allowed myself a couple bites of a shared appetizer, and completely resisted dessert (I had a planned sweet treat at home) even though my friends ordered things that looked REALLY good. I really felt like I was "eating like a thin person" yesterday!
Thursday morning weigh-in shows I'm holding pretty steady. I have actually reached the original goal I set for myself when I started the Beck program. I do want to continue to work towards the lowest weight on my ticker right now, but where its at currently is ok for me now- if I can continue to maintain it.
Mood is still pretty low- dealing with some very personal stress. Maybe a walk after work will help.
Looking forward to a weekend filled with visits from college friends!
Well, I survived Ibuprofen Wednesday and the hunger experiment. Boy, the headache from combined hunger and clarinets was pretty intense But the upside was that I had a whole lot of points left over for dinner, so we went out to a restaurant (planning in advance from the website, of course). Yum!
Today is Day 14 - Plan for Tomorrow. This is a good thing - we have a gift certificate for another restaurant and my daughter has a sleepover at the local Y (yay!) So I have planned a meal from their menu. I am using some weekly points for it, but that's what they're for, right?
pamatga - good choice paring down your posting commitments. We will be here for you! Cool that your DH is a piano tech - it's true that the key depth on a B is greater than some other pianos. Maybe he means the width? I thought that was standard, but he's the expert! The retreat sounds like a great thing to do.
gardenerjoy - I know what you mean about leaving stuff on the plate at a restaurant. I find if I've budgeted the points for something I feel entitled to eat it all ... even if my stomach is telling me something else!
tarte - Glad you are here posting. Hang in there - I can certainly relate to the frustration. One meal at a time!
BillBE - I can only visit malls infrequently, though I don't think I hate them as much as you do, LOL. Credit for the new pants, and OP eating and exercise. Thanks very much for your very helpful tax advice I will be taking it under advisement!
ChefJoona - Major Kudos for your expert methods of dealing with all that food!! I am super impressed. (((Hugs))) for your low mood & stress ... I can relate!
Today is pretty busy with rehearsals and lessons, but they're all here at home, which is nice. Food is planned and I'll hop on the treadmill for a bit later.
Wishing everyone an OP Thursday!
cheers
Erika
Read ARC: yes
Sat down to eat: yes
Gave myself credit: yes
Walking: no - planned rest day
Yoga: no
Yesterday was a good Beck day! I planned ahead and stuck with my plan, I exercised twice and got some spontaneous exercise, too. Today...not so good, but I know food won't fix it. I woke up with a scratchy throat AND a majorly tweaked back. *credit* I have iced and juiced and slowly moved through my morning chores. I know I have a greater tendency to eat over disorganization rather than back woes. Food is planned and I'll go to water aerobics, anyway. *credit*
I'm going to see if I can get some personals in before heading to the pool. Thank goodness it is raining today because I was really stoked ride my bike to the pool today.
BillBlueEyes, I'll look forward to your first report of exercising in your proper fitting sweats. I'm like you...hate to get rid of the old but I observe feeling much "thinner" in my new size.
maryblu, *credit* for trying to get back into everyday posting.
MaryContrary, *credit* for "Gripping these skills as tightly as I can", especially while dealing with extra stress ….and NO COFFEE!
ChefJoona, what a successful day you had exercising your resistance muscle; avoiding both pizza AND junk food at dinner. It's great that you have reached your original goal yet wish to continue, even if you just maintain your current weight for now.
pamatga, *credit* for ending some commitments in the thoughtful way. It was nice that the others checked up on you, though. Nice that you have a weekend retreat planned.
onebyone, *credit* for completing household tasks, and especially for the recognition that it would be great to wake up to a clean empty sink. It sounds like you are formulating a plan, one day at a time. *credit*
Erika(eusebius), kudos for completing your hunger experiment even though your headache was pretty intense!
gardenerjoy, "awareness" of an eating pattern is half the battle. *credit* for awareness.
tarte, "At least I'm posting" is a giant step. Great that you had the insight to dive into your Beck book, targeting "get Back On Track". I think it is one of the most successful tools exists.
Hi Becksters! - thanks for all of your thoughts and hoorays with me in regards to the latest chapter of Beverly and Her Foot & Ankle.! I talked to the doctors medical assistant for a long time at surgeons office yesterday as we discussed the cost, insurance, etc of the brace. She said that the doctor has had wonderful success with this new brace. About 85% or so. So with my foot stablized so well it can so often prevent or postone any surgery for years. It's certainly worth a try. DH and I talked a long time about it. Alas, if it doesn't work, then I will do the surgery of course. I am feeling very positive, however. I figure if the surgeon suggested not having the surgery... it must be what I need. I am in!
My food has been on plan, mostly, on plan. It's been a little 'sloppy'. Today I have written down my plan and am willing to do my Beck tasks.
The good news is I dropped four pounds from last week. I am grateful.
Much better day today. I ended up practicing 2 of the Beck exercises I never ended up doing: Day 12's hunger experiment (skipped lunch) and Day 17's task of leaving extra food on my plate at dinner. Success on both ends! I was quite surprised at not wanting to eat my arm by skipping lunch. I usually don't deal with hunger well. I think this will be a good exercise to repeat once in a while.
Also! Even after being really successful at the exercises, I was driving home from work (I had to work late and had eaten dinner there) tonight and I seriously contemplated stopping somewhere and ordering take-out so I could binge at home. I even started driving toward the eating establishment I had been thinking about. I was really battling it out in my head and about 5 minutes from the place, I decided I didn't want to wake up disappointed yet AGAIN. I turned the car around and drove home, without any food, and without also breaking down at home and eating. That was really a success for me.
pamatga - Good idea to drop out of the other commitments and relieve stress. The women's spiritual retreat sounds like a nice treat for yourself. BTW, I love dried plums / prunes!
BillBlueEyes - Out of curiosity, what's in your "Man Salad"? One of my coworkers is vegetarian and we get into interesting discussions about food often. He is always talking about how in the U.S., it's "manly" to eat meat but never salad and vegetables. Thank you for the reminder that "eating does not cure frustration." It really doesn't cure anything except hunger!
ChefJoona - I'm impressed by your pizza avoidance. Good job choosing well at the restaurant with your friends.
eusebius - Credit for doing the hunger experiment despite the tough day. I thought this was a useful exercise.
Lexxiss - glad to hear about the good Beck Day. Hope your back is feeling better soon.
Beverlyjoy - good luck with the brace... 85% is a very good success rate!
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Eating was on-plan with only a brief glimpse at my DW's trail mix, CREDIT moi.
Exercise, CREDIT moi, was a walk to the very small local library which had The Rest is Noise on the shelf - much to the librarian's surprise - as well as another venture to the rock climbing wall. Got a chance to climb myself into a situation where I couldn't go further and had to come back down. Also climbed a wall that was leaning backward so that holding with my hands and arms was required until I got into a situation where my arms were too tired to go further. Good exercise that rock climbing is - I was sweating.
Erika (eusebius) - Yay for sleepovers for providing adult sanity. [I've read the first bit of The Rest is Noise - fascinating stuff about the history and cultural shock of Strauss' original Salome. Perhaps the book will make me more willing to work at listening.]
Beverlyjoy - Congrats on those four pounds. I'm still reeling over the latest twist in your foot surgery saga.
Debbie (Lexxiss) - Interesting observation, "greater tendency to eat over disorganization rather than back woes" - Kudos for seeing that so that you know what to fight.
ChefJoona - Kudos for "eating like a thin person" yesterday! I needed to read that you sat for "TWO hours" in front of pizza without participating since I have a situation like that where I don't do well.
tarte - Super Kudos for fighting off those Sabotaging Thoughts to stop for fast food and to eat more at home. And those on the same day you did both day 12 - Hunger Exercise and day 17 - Leave Food on Your Plate - that was one honking fine Beck day. [Interesting comment, "it's "manly" to eat meat but never salad and vegetables." Recipe from our recipe thread:BillBlueEyes' Man-Salad]
Readers -
Quote:
chapter 3 Get Ready to Lose
Before you start, however, I would like you to do the following 10 essential tasks. task 3 Make Time for Dieting reality check If you are thinking:I'll figure out how to squeeze in these diet and exercises activities when the time comes. Face reality: You're setting yourself up for failure. Extra time will not magically make itself available. You have to plan you life around diet and exercise activities - not vice versa.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D, The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 35.
Wednesday
Today is also Day 13 - Overcome Cravings, so I'm reviewing those techniques as well.
Thursday
But the upside was that I had a whole lot of points left over for dinner, so we went out to a restaurant (planning in advance from the website, of course). Yum!
