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Old 03-10-2011, 09:35 AM   #91  
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Default Utter Lunacy

"Utter lunacy= my life...The cost of all this has been a complete derailment of working on my health. I eat under stress and that is all I do these days- eat and work, work and eat. I am craving sugar often. I am eating too much salt, too much take out, too many snacks. I have not exercised since last week. I have not been posting here or reading cards. I have not been tracking food or weighing myself or making lunches or planning meals. I feel like crap. I am so tired. I know I am gaining weight."

CeeJay: I feel your pain, and I have been there! From personal experience I know that utter lunacy will weave in and out of our lives until the day we die. We can work with it and get through feeling strong and proud, or we can wollow in it and come out tired, depressed and generally feeling like crap. It's our choice. I know it sucks, we don't have time to deal with it and all that. "Why doesn't _____ see what this is doing to me? Why do they keep dumping on me? When is this going to end!? etc... etc..."

Wallow for a day if needed, then take action. SOMEONE has to care about what we're going through, and most of the time the only someone is just ourself. Eating healthfully through the lunacy is one step in the right direction, and it can refocus some of the negative thoughts into positive action. You'll feel good about that!

I learned this exercise about a year ago and it's always amazing how well it works to calm me down and refocus my energy:

During the lunacy remember to BREATHE - deep and slow - breathe in think positive thoughts such as "I am strong, I am patient, I am calm, I am ....fill in the blank with whatever it is that you need at the moment." Breathe out slowly and visualize the bad thoughts and feelings you've been having exit your body and float off into space - you can even give them an extra puff of air to get them going.

I'll share one of my recent breathing exercises:

In - "I am patient, I am kind, I am sweet and loving"

Out - "goodbye hatred, meaness and hostility, I don't want you in my life!"

Repeat with useful terms and deep slow breaths in and out until you have a smile on your face! Sometimes you'll have to do this many times a day. That's ok.

So proud of you for sharing some work with a co-worker, and YAY vacation!!!
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Old 03-10-2011, 12:46 PM   #92  
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I think I'll get to eat all of my meals from my own kitchen today, which will help get things back on track nicely. I haven't done too badly the last couple of days, but more sodium and more fat than normal and it makes a difference.

WI: +0.75kgs, Exercise: +75* 445/1600 minutes for March, Food: 75%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
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Old 03-10-2011, 04:19 PM   #93  
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Two words from yesterday's "Day of Reflection" : Patient Trust.

I could write a book here about how that relates to my excess weight but I will include what has worked for me and what I will be also doing "moving forward":

1) track every calorie I eat every day no matter what.
2) drink at least 64 oz plain purified water per day with the goal of 100 oz.
3) no "trigger" foods allowed in my home. No exceptions! When a new food item becomes a "trigger" food, it gets added to the list. Last week it was a gift of raw almonds where I overate one day. NO MORE!
4)prioritizing what is important. The past five days it is sleep. My chronic pain and insomnia has flared up again and I am falling asleep when BBE is posting for the first time!
5)weight lose is happening again--slowly.
6)now, for the new things that I am adding: Patient Trust. I have decided that I am no longer going to obsess about how much I lose each day, week, month or year. I am going to do the "footwork" each day and leave the results up to my body and God.
7) I am going to accept each day as a blessing, which it is, and trust that I am exactly where I need to be, including my weight.
8) Worry/anxiety and perfectionism is what I am giving up period until it no longer exists in my soul, my mind, my life.

Love to you all-weight lose surgery group in under the general support groups but there are other threads about surgery in general under forum. I need two if not three joint replacement surgeries asap just waiting for health insurance and/or the lottery.
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Old 03-10-2011, 05:51 PM   #94  
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Hello Coaches,

Back on track today, but yesterday's experience at the restaurant with friends did not work out the way I planned. I checked out the menu beforehand and decided on the one item I felt would work out, but when I got to the restaurant, they were out of that meal. So I had to regroup. The waiter/owner made a suggestion that sounded good - it was *very* good, but not from a healthy standpoint! To make matters worse, I was only going to eat half but ended up eating the whole portion. It made me realize that I still have a lot to work on, particularly when it comes to eating out. For what it's worth, I felt awful during the night trying to sleep - after eating fairly healthfully the past few weeks and then having to deal with a high fat/high calorie meal was not good for my system. I am going to try to remember that feeling the next time I'm faced with those types of choices.

There are a lot of stresses at work and in my environment lately. But I'm not going to let these be excuses to overeat (and add one more stress!). Still working on trying to get the exercise in - that's another one of my issues. But, on a whole, I think I'm making progress. It sounds like a lot of you are going through similarly stressful times.

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Old 03-10-2011, 07:56 PM   #95  
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Hi Becksters..... quick hello. Today is going well.... it's getting through the evening that has been my challenge. I am getting out my arc/rc etc. and move forward in being healthy with food tonight.

Internet was out for a patch of time today. Ugh!

Hope you have all had a good day.
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Old 03-10-2011, 08:49 PM   #96  
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Hi Coaches!

My internet was out for quite awhile today, too. That wasn't supposed to happen over I'm checking in quickly while dinner is in the oven. Food had a possibility for a big nosedive today. Looking back, I recognized that my plan for today did not account for the increased energy output.
~riding my bike to the pool (under 30 degrees into a headwind) for water aerobics
~getting right back on track after deviating from my plan.

My unplanned eating consisted of on plan foods. I logged them immediately, said NO CHOICE to more then analyzed where I was with calories. OK, not extreme but the day was saved.

Identified: Tired...took a short nap before heading back to work.

I still have to log my food for tonight....Goodnight all.
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Old 03-10-2011, 10:56 PM   #97  
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Exclamation rollercoaster once more

Hi Coaches

I ended up not doing any packing at all yesterday.

I tried. I have canvases and artwork and flat things lining the main hallway. I pawed at them like a kitten and just let them fall back against the wall. I couldn't deal with them. Nor with the staircase or the powder room. Nothing.

I did go for lunch with my friend D and that was good. Food was good, but I overate. Then I ate very little at dinner.

Then woke up this morning feeling hopeless and dismal and thinking this isn't going to work... I can't get be ready for next weekend... I'll never get through all this stuff...*crash* Luckily, my friend T was coming over and I planned for him to be by my side as we packed/tossed/sorted the room that was never tamed aka the small bedroom which never held a bed just boxes of stuff. When we moved in I fancied it a library and bought wall to wall cheap shelves. I brought my books upstairs and then...just let them sit in their boxes. Then put some up. Then stopped. I never let myself have that space. Then I cluttered it as if to completely obscure the dream.

It took 4 hours of hard work, credit, at times i needed him to stop and just sit beside me as I sorted one-small-box. The emotional burden of that sapce was really heavy. It wasn't even the stuff. I can toss and sort, it was just that room and the Ideal I set for it and how far I missed it.

My friend took my garbage out to the curb as it is garbage night. 28 garbage bags left my house. credit

After we were done with it and he had to go, we went out for breakfast for lunch and then I kept my promise and walked over to my other friend's place for a visit. I am trying to make sure I get to see everyone who means something to me before I go. Sometimes this means my packing gets interrupted but I would rather see my friends than worry about those boxes downstairs. Stuff is not my friend. It's just stuff.

I am very clearly seeing a very ingrained pattern in me. It runs thorugh my whole life. It goes like this:a) successfully meet a goal/do a task
b) the success puts me forward/closer to my goal - like a bump forward
c) the next day I stop progressing. I just stop or go backwards (eat offplan for instance)
d) feel depressed/hopeless/need to re-gain ground when had I not done (c) I would have been gaining forward momentum. I seem to stop this energy flow as it starts.

conclusion: this is how I sabotage myself. I am more comfortable "coming from behind" or ensuring that I do not move forward too fast, if at all. Part of me wants to stay stuck

I don't think this is news to me. It doesn't have the shock value of a new insight-more of an "Oh yeah. I remember this" kind of feeling. But this pattern is SO CRYSTAL CLEAR with the packing it's ridiculous. I'm too old to stand in my way. I need to move as far as I can as fast as I can with as much strength and energy as I can get. I have stuff to do. I don't want to keep worrying the same old ground over and over. This has got to change.
Hopefully I can toss the behaviour out with my boxes and bags.

Zones for the week-aiming for 22/45: 17/45 DONE

#26 sm bdrm floor done took 4 hours

#3 powder room - counter and cupboard

#22 stuff in main hallway
#23 stuff on stairs

#24 linen closet

#25 sm bedrm closet
#27 sm bdrm shelves
#31 upstairs bathroom
#33 both dressers
#32 bedrm closet + bookcase
#29 studio shelf wall
#30 oppos wall in studio
#28 studio closet
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Old 03-10-2011, 11:29 PM   #98  
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Good Evening -I can certainly Identify with everyone talking about crazy schedules. I still have one more meeting at 8 p.m. Credit for the last few days when I have been depleted and yet didn't overindulge. My solution last night was to eat dinner early. It worked out perfectly because I had plenty of energy to take me thru till bed. Today I ate a snack combined with lunch and was able to teach 150 first graders plus other things plus this meeting and still not dive into candy ( a few nibbles but no dive). So - my new realization is that when I am overstretched I need to be flexible with eating ti mes as long as I am eating what I have written down. Works for today.
Credit Pilates although I was beat. Credit Skiing this weekend for more exercise although part of me wants to stay in bed with the covers over my head. Credit slowly finding my way along this new path of not overeating.

Last edited by maryann; 03-10-2011 at 11:30 PM.
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Old 03-11-2011, 05:56 AM   #99  
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Thumbs up T G I F

Diet Coaches/Buddies - Simple day; CREDIT moi. Walk, CREDIT moi, was to buy some bulbs for the dinning room light fixture. Seemed to be getting dimmer and dimmer until I looked up and saw that only two of the five little bulbs were lit ... DUH!

Today's the day to increment my monthly ticker; CREDIT moi for another month on my journey.

onebyone - Twenty-eight Kudos for "28 garbage bags left my house" - some serious progress. And Kudos for recognizing that you advance in onebyone style - that's the way you advance. I know about books in boxes - <blush>.

Shepherdess - My scale instantly records restaurant sodium - and lets it go within 2 days.

Beverlyjoy - Waving back; Yep, evenings can be a challenge.

Debbie (Lexxiss) - Good Grief - "riding my bike to the pool (under 30 degrees into a headwind)" - that's heroic in my book.

maryann - Congrats for surviving 150 first graders, much more for teaching them. Neat to figure out that your eating times have to respond to being overstretched.

ChefJoona - One of the skills you're learning is to BELIEVE that you've got the skills; patience, it's coming. Can only imagine you've got a snowy ride to work with your 24" of unexpected snowfall.

pamatga - Kudos for bringing back "Patient Trust" from your retreat. Powerful words, those.

Gwen - Thanks for the breathing exercises; gotta try those myself.

Jan (jmaf) - Ouch for the stresses stacking up, with Kudos for recognizing them so you can choose your responses.

Readers -
chapter 2
Experience the Difference

Here's a brief preview of the important dieting skills you will learn in each stage.
Stage 2
You will stick with the plan because:
. . .
You won't make any food off-limits. I don't believe in forbidden foods for two main reasons: First, I think you should be able to enjoy any food in moderation. Second, putting foods on a "never eat" list puts you at risk of going way overboard whenever you invariable end up eating them anyway.

There's a better way - one that is much more delicious and satisfying. On the Think Thin Initial Eating Plan, you will gain confidence and control by allowing yourself a reasonable portion of any desired treat as often as once a day. Every day you will have 150 or 200 Bonus Calories to spend on any food or beverage that you wish, such as chips, pretzels, sweets, desserts, or alcohol. You can't eat whichever food or beverage you want in whatever quantity you want, whenever you want it. If you did, you would, of course, gain weight. But you can plan to eat limited amounts of your favorites every day.
. . .

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D, The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 27.

Last edited by BillBlueEyes; 03-11-2011 at 08:10 AM. Reason: Typo
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Old 03-11-2011, 07:23 AM   #100  
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Ok, my attempt to ease back into the swing of things. I'm heading to the store as soon as they open this AM to stock up on healthy veggies. I find if I go after biking and swimming that I'm not motivated to make such a healthy lunch (time/hunger factor) If I do it early my lunch will be waiting when I get home.

BillBlueEyes, I must be thinking Spring...the only bulbs I could think of walking for you would put in the ground! Yay! for "simple days".

onebyone, it seems you are having great success having a little help with your job. When we moved the girl who was going to live in our house helped me lots. It was more fun with two. I hate my own stuff but never mind helping anyone else.

Beverlyjoy, great that you checked in later since you know evenings are challenging times.

gardenerjoy, Yay! for eating at home! It seems that the further along this path I am...the happier I am putting my own healthful ingredients into food.

maryann, great job coming up with a solution (eating early) after days which drain your energy.

ChefJoona, keep working on believing you have the skills to lose weight!....perhaps a card to remind you.

pamtanga, "Patient Trust"….Thanks for sharing what is working for you as you add this new item to your list.

Gwen, thanks for the breathing exercise! My yoga teacher guides us through something similar during our meditation.

Jan(jmaf), ouch when they're out of what you've planned for. I don't have a problem calling ahead and checking. For me, certain restaurants require that I do know ahead because so many choices are extremely high cal. Great that you are not letting work stresses become an excuse to overeat.
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Old 03-11-2011, 07:49 AM   #101  
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Went out with two good pals last night to a teribble restaurant (as in terribly unhealthy). I made the decision to mindfully indulge. I limited the portions, but it was not on plan and definitely calorie and sodium laden (to our suprise the restaurant now posts the calories of each dish on the menu so I was able to see exactly what I was consuming). I stepped on the scale this morning for a +3lbs jump from yesterday morning. I definitely did not eat 3lbs worth of calories, so it must be the sodium. I just remind myself the scale= information.

I'm looking forward to an un-busy weekend, which hopefully include lots of time with my baby niece! I had wanted to be meeting with photographers and caterers for the wedding, but have been taking the process of contacting them slow.

Day light savings time is this weekend! That means I'll now get home from work with enough day light to enjoy an evening walk! Last fall my fiance and I were getting out for a walk 3 times a week. At this point that's a lot more exercise that I have been doing!

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Old 03-11-2011, 09:21 AM   #102  
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Originally Posted by onebyone View Post
... I'm too old to stand in my way. I need to move as far as I can, as fast as I can, with as much strength and energy as I can get. I have stuff to do. I don't want to keep worrying the same old ground over and over. This has got to change.
Yes, OnebyOne, I'm right there with you! How often I have reverted to old patterns simply through neglecting my goals and sliding into the same old routine. You are SO right - I also need to "move as far as I can, as fast as I can, with as much strength and energy as I can! I HAVE STUFF TO DO!

I'm going to post that on my wall! Thank you for the inspiration.

And CONGRATULTIONS on the 28 bags!!

Pamatga: Worry/anxiety and perfectionism is what I am giving up period until it no longer exists in my soul, my mind, my life. Thank you for this inspiration (and another post for my wall.)

Last edited by Gwen; 03-11-2011 at 09:24 AM.
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Old 03-11-2011, 12:05 PM   #103  
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Grateful for Facebook this morning that let me know a friend and a cousin, both living in Japan, are fine. Cousin was barely affected even though she lives in Northern Japan where some of the worst tsunami damage was. The friend fared worse, stuck in Tokyo with no trains running and so far hasn't been able to speak with his wife or son.

Closer to home, I'm going to try to finish preparing taxes for the accountant today because I'm sick of having that hanging overhead.

WI: +0.15kgs, Exercise: +60* 505/1600 minutes for March, Food: 75%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
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Old 03-11-2011, 12:09 PM   #104  
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Onebyone-if I had the money to come there I would help you. I think we need to throw you a cyber party when this is all over, don't you think?
jmaf- as you probably know by now I like to eat out a lot and I do. It takes practice but you can do it. Since I don't see not eating out in my future life plan, I have decided to take the tougher road and learn how to make "better" choices when eating out. I am fortunate that there are plenty of organic, vegetarian and ethnic restaurants in my area to choose from. I frequently go to buffet restaurants as well. If you wish I can share with you some of the tips that have helped me.
Gwen and BBE---awwww shucks! I'm speechless.
bev-you sound tired, all okay?

Well, moving forward, Patient Trust! Period! I'll post the entire poem I found on Wednesday on here if you want. Otherwise, suffice to say, it was what I needed to hear at this time.

Credit moi: Working on getting sleep back to normal. Last night was better than the nights before although my left hip and knee wanted me to know they were there. Okay, now go to sleep with the rest of my body please!
Saving the high sodium vegetables for another meal since I knew the pork and rice were high enough (boy were they ever!)
Passed one test and four more to go.
Not thinking farther ahead than midnight of each day.
Upping B vitamins to circumvent past stress. It helps. Reallly!

Love to all.
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Old 03-11-2011, 05:33 PM   #105  
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Coaches/Buddies I've been just mentally and emotionally exhausted the last few days and am trying to get my act together to continue on with this journey. Nothing major is going on; I'm overwhelmed with the minutiae in my own life. Unfortunately there is a lot of minutiae, some of it quite loud.

After some reflection, I've decided that I'm having an abundance of what Dr Beck describes as unhelpful thoughts. I'm in the process of trying to identify them and create responses, and perhaps Response Cards for them. Unfortunately one of my most common unhelpful thoughts is something along the lines of "I know what I'm doing; I don't need to do that." I've got to somehow get myself over that first hump to get the reinforcement going.

ChefJoona I think the scale = information realization is so so important. I must try to remember that.


Last edited by AnneWonders; 03-11-2011 at 10:12 PM.
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