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Hi Beck folks - my son's computer is in the shop. I am checking in at my dil's mom's house. I wanted to let you know that I have been doing well since being on this leg of the trip. I am grateful. I've been doing the beck tasks...arc, logging food, etc. I can't really plan too much ahead - but, am trying to make good choices. I don't know about tomorrow, of course -- but, so far so good. I am grateful.
I hope you are all doing well. I'll try to check in again - or I'll be back home next week. |
Saturday
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Looked forward to my saved half of the Vietnamese Food Truck lunch. That's the way it should be. CREDIT moi for feeding myself. Was a gentle day at work - I actually completed my to-do list - even writing a memo explaining how to do a tricky maneuver on the computer by capturing some screen shots and stuffing them into a Microsoft Word document so my friends wouldn't have to repeat my unpleasant learning experience.
Was sunny and chilly for my four mile walk after work (CREDIT moi) - a nice trek with Robins VERY busy chasing other Robins as if it were Spring. Was rewarded by finding strawberries on sale for $2 a quart so I snagged two. I do like my strawberries for breakfast. ChinaMaine - Waving toward Zion / Bryce National Parks - trying to hide my jealously. Have a good four days hiking. Kim (bennyhannamama) - Good luck on your new journey today. Hope you bring us all some good CBT tidbits; I've become a convert, particularly since I had such snarky thoughts about it when I first read the book, e.g. give myself credit every day, indeed, what a dorky idea, what am I, a child?. Today's quote is powerful for me, "...completely changed his mindset." That's what I've been experiencing over the past two years with Beck's stuff. I wish that for you. Susan (hikergirl) - Yay gym; Ouch almonds - they need to be sold in 4 almond packets for those of us who don't have an enough-almonds-now sensor. Joy (gardenerjoy) - Scheduling a massage to counter the neck and shoulder issues seems like the right response. I've found that I need to do a few neck exercises periodically or I will begin to notice that my range of head motion decreases when I'm driving. Love watching that "1485/1550 minutes for March" moving toward goal. Beverlyjoy - Yay for staying on plan with a Double Yay since you planned in advance to stay on plan. What is the name of the relationship between you and your DIL's mom? There are so many such relationships it certainly should have a shorter name - something like Co-in-laws, or CIL's. Cheryl (seadwaters) - LOL at "pantsometer." Readers - Quote:
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To the West!
I had a classic 'I don't care' night last night. It was an emotional reaction that was half parts frustration at a crazy week at work, relief that I wouldn't have to work for 10 days, and entitlement because vacation had started. I guess that's 3 halves, resulting in overflowing 'I don't care'.
Anyway today is a new day and I need to pack, so talk to you all soon! |
Quick post. Up and out early today to photograph the Garden.
WI: NC in kg, Exercise: +45, 1530/1550 minutes for March, Food: op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes |
Hi there…last 24 hours --- yikes! Arrgggh. But I am here.
Gardenerjoy – enjoy your day. I just came back from 2 hours at my garden plot. I am trying to get rid of this invasive buttercup stuff. A lot of work. Chinamaine – I hope that you enjoyed it fully! BBE – it sounds like you had an uplifting day Beverlyjoy – it sure reads like you are managing you food well in a situation that can be challenging. Great stuff. Susan |
I just spent the last few days in Baltimore for a Women in Agriculture conference. The conference was great and it was my first trip to the East Coast, which was lovely. I loved seeing daffodils in bloom and cherry blossoms. I was fortunate to have great weather on the trip, but by the time I got home yesterday evening it was snowing and we’ve been getting snow on and off all day, though it’s not cold enough to stick.
Had a great Beck trip. I didn’t quite know how to prepare for the food situations, since the conference was providing our meals and I had no idea what they would serve. But I just gave myself some ground rules: 1) one reasonable splurge a day (meaning if the dessert was cheesecake, just a few bites would be enough) 2) no splurges before dinner 3) fill 2/3 of the plate with veggies 4) find some way to squeeze in exercise. So I followed my rules, skipping desserts put out for dinner, grabbing fruit off the snack table. The days were pretty sedentary—lots of sitting in the classroom, but I did take the stairs when possible, grabbed a few walks around the city when we had a break and even hit the gym once for a quick workout. I stepped on the scale this AM and there was no change, yay! But, snow and all, it’s good to be back home. It was fun feeding again, seeing all of the calves, more than when I left, and just spending more time outdoors. And I second BillBE’s sentiment from the other day, “It also feels good to have my own predictable food - not predictable in being the same, but predictably rational, healthy food that I look forward to.” Nuxmaga, congrats on two profitable craft shows! Seadwaters, yay for the final countdown of your radiotherapy sessions. Good job foreseeing the potential problems and keeping your expectations realistic. ChinaMaine, hope you have a great trip—you definitely deserve a break. It’s so great that your energy levels are improving. Here’s to an energetic and active summer! CeeJay, congrats on a scale that moves in the right direction and two more lbs gone forever! Bennyhannamamma, great job posting regularly. Interesting thoughts about the sudden purges before seeing a therapist for an eating disorder—it reminds me of all those times I had a “last supper” before starting a diet the next day. But the good news is, you now have a great resource to help you work through these issues. Wishing you good luck! Gardenerjoy, I’m so impressed that you’re becoming a workout DVD queen and modifying them when necessary. You deserve that message. Beverlyjoy, huge credit for doing so well in difficult food situations! Hope your back is feeling better. Maryblu, crossing my fingers that your ice melts by April 5! BillBE, yay for the Vietnamese lunch truck to give you two healthy lunches to look forward to. LOL at your way of getting rid of the unwanted Lean Cuisine meal without the guilt of wasting food—plus you will be doing some poor co-worker a favor on a day when they forget their lunch. Hikegirl, great job posting so regularly. Sounds like you have had some good successes over the past few days. Don’t let a bad day overshadow that. Great job recommitting to Beck. Waving to anyone else I missed! |
:wave:
More tomorrow :) |
Hello
Another good day!!! I can hardly believe I am really doing this. Feeling so glad that my clothes are loose and I am fitting into things that were too tight. Am not struggling as much with eating on plan. It is getting easier. I never believed that it would. Credit today for: Planning tomorrow Eating on plan Walking 35 minutes with DH checking in here reading advantage and response cards weighing in eating slowly and mindfully Hope everyone has a good Sunday. :grouphug: |
Sunday evening - 3 sessions to go
Diet coaches
I am doing OK - just a quick check in as I get organised for the next 3 days at work before vacation time and the last 3 trips to Sydney for r/therapy. I am hanging in here and trying to make healthy choices. Today I did some environmental organising in preparation for the diet re-start day and I am looking forward to it even if not up for a lot of food prep at the moment. Credits: :flow1:
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Sunday
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Spent a long time outdoors mucking about; it's not much exercise, but it's fun and what I like to do - CREDIT moi. Saw my first Double-crested Cormorant for the season - common, but they have to come back for the spring. Eating was good enough because it included dinner at a restaurant with friends; CREDIT moi. I made a good choice in my order, but ate almost all of it which means more salt and calories than I'd like.
I'm really moved by this Day 22 stuff in Beck's first book in the quote each day. This is a powerful chapter for me - the coming to accept that the sabotaging thoughts aren't going to disappear, but that my response to them can change. ChinaMaine - Waving again toward Zion / Bryce National Parks even though you won't see this as you focus on hiking and being outdoors and not going to work. Kim (bennyhannamama) - Waving back; hope you survived and thrived. Shepherdess - Neat that you were in Maryland when the cherries were in blossom. Did you make the few miles to go see the Capitol and tour Washington D.C.? Nice plan to have in your pocket to face unknown food. Baltimore should have more variety for vegetarian dining than the carnivorous great West. Susan (hikergirl) - Terse summary of the profound, "yikes! Arrgggh. But I am here." Yep, that's the path. Joy (gardenerjoy) - Yay for photographing stuff that you love. The Boston Flower Show returned this year after missing its first year since forever. DW went - slightly scaled back from the past but still wonderful. Holding my breath for the last 20 minutes on your March exercise goal. CeeJay - Another terse summary of the profound, "It is getting easier. I never believed that it would." Been There, Thought That. Cheryl (seadwaters) - Yay for "enjoyed every bite - I did" - enjoying the small stuff while working down the last three Sydney trips for the big stuff. Counting down with you. Readers - Quote:
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Day 10: Set a Realistic Goal
I set a terrifically unrealistic goal a week or so a go -- to get to 200 by my birthday on May 12. That would be about two pounds a week, which isn't unreasonable. But, it's certainly not realistic for me who has never lost weight faster than a pound a week. And, for someone who got to a new low in the middle of the month, but then went right back up to the weight I plateaued at for six weeks (my body really likes this weight). But, I've defined things so that I can't lose, so that I won't get discouraged. Getting to 200 by my birthday would be like winning the World Series, 208 would be like winning the pennant, and 213 would be like winning a home series against the Cubs. See? Can't lose. Having this unrealistic goal has made a difference for me. I'm exercising more and I'm reducing portion sizes. I'm not really off my plateau weight, but I've been chipping away at it day by day, with a down tic in my weight all but one day in the last week. Sorry, no personals. I'm off to get my massage! WI: -0.3kg, Exercise: +85, 1615/1550 minutes for March (GOAL!), Food: op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes |
I’m still getting adjusted to my usual routine, but it is good to be eating the way I am used to. As a vegetarian, it’s always difficult to get lean protein away from home, especially when the meals are all buffet style. So last night, I had some of my old standby, black bean soup (I had some leftovers in the freezer). Didn’t get that much in the way of formal exercise. I spent the day unpacking, doing laundry, trying to get reorganized and trying to get some clean rooms in my house. So there was some activity, but today’s goal is to get some formal exercise. I’ve been out of my old routine, so I’m not sure what I’ll do, but I’ll figure something out.
Bennyhannamamma, waving. Credit for posting. CeeJay, yay for clothes feeling looser and for an easier time sticking to your plan! That is a measure of all the hard work you have done. Kudos for a list of credits—including eating slowly, never an easy one. Seadwaters, great job getting organized so that you have an environment conducive to making healthy choices and sticking to your plan. I’m trying to get a handle on my environment right now, but don’t feel like I’m making progress. Yay for your last 3 trips to Sydney for therapy! BillBE, love that mucking about and noticing the first signs of spring! Thank you for the reminder about sabotaging thoughts. Sometimes I count just having the thoughts as a failure, but it’s good to remember that it’s not the thought, it’s the response that counts. I did make it to the Capitol briefly. We spent an afternoon there for a USDA program. Unfortunately I didn’t have as much time to tour as I would have liked, but it just means I’ll have to return. Hopefully sooner rather than later. Gardenerjoy, congrats on passing your exercise goal for March! I like your idea of setting a very high goal for your Birthday, but giving yourself some leeway as well. It’ll give you a good dose of motivation, and you’ll win no matter what. Best of luck. |
Hi, I have to ask about your journeys with the Beck programme from the perspective how you managed to "get in the groove". I have been doing this now for about 5 weeks and I found that during the first two weeks I was consistent with moderation. Then, I went on a slide and I am now in a mode where I follow Beck for a day or two and then go on a slide or sideways for a day or two, then back to Beck for a day (maybe) and then sideways etc. What were/are your experiences on get getting on a road to "moderation"?
Great posts from all of you in the last day. Spring has definitely sprung in your spirits and local surroundings. |
Hi beckies - I am so ready to be back in my 'food comfort zone'. Last night was not good. We went out to dinner again...I had good intentions - but, they changed when I saw the menu. It went down hill after I ate the huge very crunchy onion ring (best ever). I changed my salad to one with more calories. Had pie when we got home and about ten graham crackers. It's like the beck stuff I've been doing for days just floated out of my brain. I went to bed bloated from overeating and a tummy ache to boot. I read in the beck book to concentrate on how much I've been ON my plan instead of off my plan. So when I look at the past 10 days, I have been mostly on my plan and really off my plan only two evenings. I really, really wish I could conquer this food craziness. But, I am working on it.
Today is going well, so far. I am grateful. We are going to a restaurant again tonight - dil's mom wants to go because it's my last night in town. (Bill - yes, there should be another name for dil's mom. My mom would say 'shirt tail' relative - but, doesn't explain the relationship! I like your ideas!). It's funny to say that I am tired of restaurants - but, I won't have a repeat of last night again today. Tomorrow morning I will do two programs at an elementary school, come back to ds's home for lunch and head back to my home in the afternoon. It's a four hour and half hour drive back home. My pieces and parts are holding up , but, not the greatest. Playing with my grandson has been the best fun. My three year grandson is a comedian! He's very silly and loves to joke around. Tomorrow I will be able to have time to do some personals. Thanks so much to you all for your support and good wishes, encouragement and understanding. |
Coaches/Buddies:
Yesterday, I managed to make it to REI to get my new backpack before going on a 6.88 mile hike. I only had it packed to about 12 lbs, but it was definitely a good start. The hike was awesome and the weather perfect- 50s and sunny. Immediately following the hike I went for my therapy appointment. My first impression of the therapist was very good. She's young (but old enough to have earned a PhD), sweet, very mild mannered. I felt very comfortable with her. She seems like someone I would hang out with... when I told her I had just come from a hike, she wanted to know where since she's always looking for new places to go hiking. One thing I have a hard time with is a therapist that is overweight. To me, excessive weight is a symptom of other problems. I don't know if it's wrong of me, judgmental of me, or if it makes any sense. Just because someone may struggle with something themselves, doesn't mean they can't help me. Anyway, she was a little overweight, but not excessively. It was interesting to review all that I've been through in the past few years... - a struggling marriage (which included finding out my husband had been cheating on me, couples therapy, indecision about divorce for about 2 years) - unexpected pregnancy and loss of baby - moving out of state to follow husband's career knowing that we were most-likely going to be getting divorced (no family, friends or acquaintances in new state) - separated from husband - brother died - moved - divorce finalized Okay, I know I've gone over this list on this board before and I apologize to those of you that may have been subjected to it multiple times, but I really find it helpful to remind myself all that I've been through. Anyone would struggle with all of this going on in their life and I need to remember that. I need to remember that I'm doing pretty well. Anyway, back to my therapy appointment. Overall, I'm very hopeful. Especially since I was concerned about how it would work out schedule-wise, but it turns out that she'll usually be able to give me a 10am appointment on Fridays which means my kids will both be in school (no need to arrange daycare or pay for it) and it won't interfere with weekend plans (the way Saturday appointments would). Unfortunately, my next appointment isn't until a week from this coming Friday, but that's ok. When talking to the therapist (Katie), I verbalized something that I've been thinking a lot about (I don't think I've written about it here. I'm trying to figure out why last year at this time I did so well with Beck and why I'm struggling so much now. Something that comes to mind is that last year at this time, my life was still in a great deal of turmoil. I was in the midst of all the divorce crap and pretty miserable with all of that. Working on myself (Beck, running, etc.) was my reprieve, it was my happiness. I was feeling good about myself for the first time in more years than I can even remember. Now, the divorce is behind me, I'm happy with myself and my life (other than the weight/food issues) and as icing on the cake (not a requirement for my happiness anymore), I'm in a loving respectful relationship. So, perhaps, since everything else is good in my life, I need something to be "bad" to balance it out. I've never felt that everything has been "good" all at once and the idea of that scares me. The whole question of whether I "deserve" for everything to be good. (As I'm rambling right now, I'm beginning to wonder if I've recently rambled about this here. If I have, I apologize!) So, I think I really need to work on those messages to myself. I DO deserve to be happy, in every aspect of my life. Food this weekend has been a bit of a free-for-all because I know that starting tomorrow I will start monitoring food intake on the GoWear fit website. I'm a little concerned about my resistance to that structure, but don't think I an be successful without it. I'm worried about my tendency to want to be able to calculate everything perfectly and how I will handle it when I have to make my best estimate. I will try to remind myself that I have done it before and I can do it again. I'm looking forward to seeing my calorie expenditure, especially on days that I take a 6+ mile hike with a pack on my back :) Tomorrow will be my first time on the scale in a long while too, so wish me luck! Oh and as far as just posting a one line sentence of even a waving smiley, I'm trying to remind myself that it's okay and still better than not checking in at all. It says that I'm still plugged in to Beck and this group, I just might not have time for more than that. Gardnerjoy: Hope your massage was wonderful this morning! I usually have the exact opposite problem with DVDs, can only get them to play on my computer when I want them to play on my tv. I did 30 minute shred again-- it's tough, but a great all around workout. hikergirl: Nice job continuing to post daily (I know having you and gardnerjoy watching me, is definitely helping me!) and making sure that some overeating hasn't been a springboard to a full-out binge. I need to keep that in mind and remember to give myself credit for that when it happens. Just read your post for today and unfortunately, I've got nothing. Well, except for commiseration. I'm experiencing the exact same thing. I'll be curious to see the responses you get and hope something will really speak to me. Beverlyjoy: Nice persistence in finding a computer to check in. Sounds like things are going well; I'm happy for you. Just read today's post... :hug: BillBlueEyes: Jews have a name for your children's in-laws (it's a Yiddish word): Quote:
BTW, I love productive days at work when I get done small, meaningful projects that on busy days I can't even dream of getting done! ChinaMaine: You may have had an 'I don't care' mishap, but you came here and wrote about it-- kudos for that! Good luck packing and enjoy your trip! Shepherdess: :broc: for a great Beck trip! It sounds like you handled everything beautifully and in moderation. You made a realistic plan and it worked. Thanks for setting such a wonderful example. I need to re-learn how to do things like that. Ceejay: :broc: for things getting easier! Thanks for giving me hope :) seadwaters: Thinking about you and hoping that things go as smoothly as possible. Your preparation is impressive. |
Hi, Beckies,
Seadwaters, counting it down with you. I am so struck by your stoic attitude, your courage. You go, girl. Bennyhannamana, I think the recap of what has been going on in your life was good for all of us! My goodness! I know what you mean about a therapist who doesn't appear to have taken control ..MY shrink (Psychologist) was very over weight when I started seeing him. Then alluvasudden he started shrinking. I just thought he had taken control..turns out he had gastric bypass surgery. He only just shared that with me recently. It doesn't matter; he gotterdun. Funny, though, he has twice thought I had the surgery. It does not offend me or anything remotely ridiculous like that, but it is weird, because he has such a great memory for every other detail of my life I share with him. Not sure why he got stuck thinking that I had done the bypass. I have taken to carrying around a pic of me from before..actually it is my work id from 1995. I showed it to him..he could not see the resemblance at all! Ceejay, good going, girl. You are moving in the right direction. Some days are easier than others. I have not been doing very well lately, but I will have to correct here shortly...no choice..will share after the deed is done..don't wanna jinx it right now. Heard a Killdeer yesterday. Still have not heard a Red Winged Blackbird, my favorite spring sound ..yes, even *more favorite than the first Loon is heard...Loons are summer joy...I think I may win the ice out bet this year! I saw a pond full of Trumpeter Swans on Friday. Lovely sight. 'Lo to Wndranne and Kulhjeanie. |
Monday Evening - 2 sessions to go
Coaches
I am rushed and disorganised this evening - I have been staying at work late to get organised enough to take leave so will be brief I am maintaining the core behaviours but food has been a bit all over the place - eat-as-eat-can as it were. I am not reading either which will have to change. But I checked in here! My primary thing to keep this all in focus. Have managed to read all your posts - so much going on and so much that is positive. A big hello to you all :wave: Cheryl |
Monday, March 29th
Buddies/Coaches:
The more I share with all of you and the more I reflect and write about it, the better I seem to do. Throughout the day I have different thoughts and experiences that I think about sharing here, but then I'm usually too tired to write it all or I forget. So today, I thought I would try something different. I'm going to try checking in here periodically throughout the day. I'm hoping this will also help keep me focused on my different Beck tasks. I woke up and read my Advantages :broc: I'm playing around with the idea of re-doing them. Right now I have 31 of them and I'm wondering if it would be better to narrow them down to the most important ones-- the ones that really speak to me the most. I'm worried that with so many, they're kind of losing their significance. I'm curious how many other people have and what has/hasn't worked in that respect for you. I did a 30 minute workout on the elliptical which felt great! :broc: I weighed myself :broc: I came here and posted :broc: I'm giving myself credit for all of the above :broc: |
Monday
Diet Coaches/Buddies - More time outside in the chilly sunshine - felt wonderful. Eating was a bit off at a potluck lunch because I picked at some stuff - but I didn't get stuck on a bowl of nuts - off but not out of control; CREDIT moi. Had the opportunity to take home a full sized plate of to-die-for chocolate cake - about the consistency of a thick brownie - and passed it off to a friend with a teen-aged son.
maryblu - I heard my first Red Winged Blackbird on Saturday. It took a while to spot it - was a solo. Then on Sunday walking to Trader Joe's I saw a bunch of them (although silent). Neat that you're tuned to hearing your first of Spring. At least they don't have to wait for ice-out to return, LOL. Kim (bennyhannamama) - Yep, it's one massive list for a short time; kudos for staring it in the face so that you can move on. Sounds like you've found a keeper to help you along. One more time I'm reminded that I'm culturally deprived by not having a Yiddish speaking grandmother while I was growing up. I chased down "machatonim" and am delighted with the word - particularly delighted to read that only Yiddish has a word for that relationship. Just amazing. Shepherdess - As much as I don't like packing for a trip, unpacking is worse - the pits. So Kudos for getting it out of the way and getting your life back together. Yay for visiting Wash D.C. Next trip you can stop by your senator's office and remind him to wear wool. Susan (hikergirl) - "What were/are your experiences on get getting on a road to "moderation"?" It took me a while before I'd say I felt I was in the grove. But even after two years, I'm capable of forgetting that I have a plan from time to time. Others have pointed out that the most important part of the grove is the getting back on track quickly. Keep the faith and keep posting; you're moving forward. Joy (gardenerjoy) - Kudos for knowing what works for you - be it realistic or unrealistic. And Congrats on passing your March exercise goal with days left in the month. "chipping away at it day by day" seems like a good plan to me. Beverlyjoy - Yay for a 3 year old DGS to distract you from the "pieces and parts." Ouch for all the opportunities to wander from your plan with family gatherings in unfamiliar places. Sending good thoughts for you to continue with a memorable family visit. Cheryl (seadwaters) - Yep, that "eat-as-eat-can" sneaks up on you. BTDT. Yay for getting organized; send some my way. Readers - Quote:
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Eating was good yesterday. I’m enjoying some wonderful raspberries and strawberries from California. It feels like a fun splurge without the extra calories. Thanks, California, for having long growing seasons! I’m a little sore from doing weights yesterday, but it’s a good sore that lets me know I did something. I haven’t done weights in a while and don’t expect to be very regular with it until May, but it’s good to get a workout in here and there.
Hikegirl, getting consistent can be tough. It might help to pick a few small things to work on and once you have those down, add a few more things. It sounds like you have a busy schedule and so focusing on more manageable bits might help. Sometimes, you also just hit a rough patch. I made a card that reads: “Dieting is supposed to get hard. That’s OK. If I keep practicing my skills it will get easy again.” It’s a good reminder that motivation waxes and wanes. Beverlyjoy, ouch for getting derailed at a restaurant, but I think it is a good strategy to focus on how many challenging food situation you have handled well and not let this one incident color the successes. Good luck with your last restaurant for a while. Bennyhannamamma, your hike sounds wonderful! I love spring and more possibilities for outdoor exercise. It sounds like you had a productive first meeting with your counselor and it normal to be a bit apprehensive. But give it some time and see if it helps. And it is a good idea to look at the list of everything you have gone through. That’s a tough list and you can pat yourself on the back for getting through it with your sanity. Maryblu, I love your rundown of the sounds of spring! Yay that it looks like you will win the bet and spring is just around the corner! Seadwaters, great job sticking to a few core Beck behaviors while rushed and disorganized! Yay for 2 sessions to go! BillBE, kudos for off but not out of control, especially when there was to-die-for chocolate cake around. I love that you had the “opportunity” to take it with you, then were able to pass it off. |
The massage went well and my muscles feel better this morning.
WI: NC in kg, Exercise: +105, 1720/1550 minutes for March, Food: op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes hikergirl: Checklists work for me. That helps me see that even on a bad day when I miss some items on my list, I'm doing lots of good things to give myself credit for and to build on for an even better day. Lots of people do their checklists right in their posts here. There are also checklists in the pink book and workbook (can't remember if there are any in the green book). I've been using pencil and paper or dry erase marker and laminated paper (for a repeating daily checklist). Beverlyjoy: hope you're having a good trip home! maryblu: we don't usually get red-winged blackbirds in our suburb -- although they hang out at the zoo in the city and eat the dropped popcorn. I've been waking up to lots of birdsong in the morning for the last week or so. seadwaters: good job checking in! And yay for only two more left! bennyhannahmama: I have 10 Advantages. I also read Responses every day and I have close to thirty of them -- I'm also thinking that they may be more effective if I pare them down to the ones that really seem to help the most. Checking in throughout the day seems like a great idea! About your therapist -- it might turn out to be an advantage to have a therapist who struggles with food rather than one who doesn't get it all. You have been dealing with a lot of stuff; it's going to take some time to figure out what the new normal is. BillBlueEyes: a teenage boy seems like the best use of a chocolate cake -- good job getting it to his house instead of yours! Shepherdess: yay for berries and good sore from weight training! |
Hi Everyone,
Coaches - Thank you for your thoughts and suggestions. I think that the one thing I can definitely 100% commit to doing and know that I will be able to achieve it, (because it is either a “yes” or a “no”) is that I do weigh myself everyday and that I do post everyday. I have been doing that and it is some glue to keep me stuck to Beck. I know after 40 years of disordered eating (bingeing), and trying everything,that CBT is the way to go. At the age of 54 (this Wednesday), I think I know--what makes me tick, what my strengths are, what my weaknesses are, and why I am the way I am. Some things I can change, some things I cannot and must accept. I do know (logically) that my eating patterns can be changed…but wow is it difficult. When I did visit a therapist (to figure out all of the preceeding) she said, and I agreed, that CBT was the way to go. I had the manuals, I did it, I knew that it was the way to go, but I could not stick with it. Then, along came the Beck book(s) using CBT specifically to manage eating. This is the answer. I just have to do it and be more “on” than “off” and then eventually evolve towards being “on” with my eating as my new “normal”. Bennyhannamama – one of the reasons I reach for food is the recreate the “good girl – bad girl” cycle. (Good (and the anticipation rush when I start) when I am “dieting”, bad when I am bingeing). I know where this originates from. I know why I do this. Therapy got me there…but I will say, that I still have this struggle with changing the behaviour (although it is a tremendous relief to understand where it comes from). I believe that you wrote about being at a “good point” in your life and perhaps you needed something “bad” to balance it out. It sounds like it could be similar to my journey. I do believe that CBT is the answer. This is the place to be. We just need to take it easy on ourselves (or so I think). As I have written, you are self aware, working at it, and as a result of this you will have success in managing your food…we have to be prepared for the journey. You can toss what I have just written out the window if I am totally off base (you have my permission ) Gardenerjoy – Regarding your post on Setting Realistic Goals. I respect that. I respect that. Your numbers reflect that you are doing the right things. In Canada we would probably take your baseball analogy and convert it to a hockey analogy (winning Olympic gold, winning the Stanley Cup, winning the division). Thank you for tip of really focusing on check lists. I need to do that more often. Beverlyjoy – a big credit to you for “It's like the beck stuff I've been doing for days just floated out of my brain. I went to bed bloated from overeating and a tummy ache to boot. I read in the beck book to concentrate on how much I've been ON my plan instead of off my plan. So when I look at the past 10 days, I have been mostly on my plan and really off my plan only two evenings. I really, really wish I could conquer this food craziness. But, I am working on it.” You are applying the concepts. You are doing everything you can to not beat yourself up and not have a further slide. You are in a devilish situation (for me) ---travelling. You are doing well with more triumphs than diversions on your trip. A big credit to you. Maryblu – nice to “meet you”. Seadwaters – wow, you are standing tall! I send you “virtual” positive vibes BBE- you won over the bowl of nuts (we know how strong those are) and you found a teenage boy to take the chocolate treat. A triumph, and a creative (and failsafe) solution. Thank you for suggesting that getting back in the groove quickly is a sign of success. I will keep the faith. Shepherdess - Fruits and weights. A great combination. Thank you for your encouragement. |
Coaches/Buddies:
I've stayed on-plan with my eating and logged all that I have eaten. :broc: I have eaten mindfully and slowly while sitting down :broc: I have had some spontaneous exercise by taking the stairs down 11 flights after a meeting :broc: and by parking far away from the store :broc: See you all later! |
Hello Everyone!!!
Finally have a bit of time for some personals... silverbirch- love the pansometer idea too!! I tried on clothes this weekend that were too tight and they fit. Actually this made me want to cry (tears of joy- I am doing it!!!). ChinaMaine- Hope you are having an amazing vacation. Yipee for size 10 pants. Your pansometer is registering the right direction. Beverlyjoy- a great big oh well to your off plan eating. You have been doing so well on your vacations and eating in restaruants I think you just don't worry about this and do like Beck says--- move on!! maryblu- hi to you. Best of luck doing what you are planning. seadwaters- kuddos for sticking with the core behaviours. Happy for you that you are getting to the end of the therapy. BillBlueEyes- yay for controlled eating at the potluck and not letting getting a little bit off lead to a whole lotta off. No robins here yet, but it is warming up so fast I think they will be early. Shepherdess- yay for a good eating day yesterday. Can I borrow your response card- “Dieting is supposed to get hard. That’s OK. If I keep practicing my skills it will get easy again.”? So true. Your development of sensible rules for your trip is a lesson to me. Maybe if I ease up a bit in those situations it will help not to fall into the "I blew it so might as well dig in" thing. gardenerjoy-very nice to treat yourself to a massage. I have never gone for one. It is on my advantage list. "To feel good enough about my body to have a massage." hikergirl-I like weighing myself every morning. It is the first credit of the day and sets me going the right way (most of the time). I agree, it is really really hard changing things at our age. Finding Beck at exactly the right time, when I was ready to proceed, was a great gift for me. It is starting to feel like I am changing. Old dogs, new tricks. ;) Getting in the groove? I started trying to follow Beck's advice in mid October. I too went gung-ho for awhile, then did a lot of weeks half on, half off. Christmas I was 100% off. Since January I have been doing pretty well, except struggle terribly with any trips to the city and restaurant eating. I am choosing to look at all of this as learning. bennyhannahmama- yay for your credits today!!! For advantages-- I am at about 25. I read them everyday and don't find it too much, but sometimes I find myself speed-reading them. I try to pause on a few and really imagine them. For me, another good day. I am off work this week- just hanging out at home which is so great. It feels good to not be driving. I had a good eating day- egg whites for breakfast, yougurt and berries for snack, salad with chicken breast for lunch, and carrots, sweet potatos, mushrooms and steak for dinner. Credit today for: weighing in reading advantage and response cards walking 35 mins with DH eating on plan planning food for tomorrow eating slowly and mindfully :grouphug: |
Tuesday
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Monday at the gym (CREDIT moi) is always a bit tougher than Wednesday or Friday; just one extra day of rest and my muscles have forgotten a little more. Eating was fine; CREDIT moi. Lunch was all leftover vegetables because that's what I had. Planned to open a can of tuna fish that I keep in my office but I didn't feel the need to - I do a protein shake before gym anyway so I'm not protein deficient for skipping one meal.
Boston has exceeded the 1953 record for rain in March. Which means that my poor house is stressed and I have to do some basement wet-vac work before I can have breakfast. (The '5' key is sticking on my laptop; I have to bang it a few times to make it work. Ouch. Gotta go find out how to fix that.) Kim (bennyhannamama) - Yay for 11 flights of stairs - that's some good walking. Shepherdess - Yay for "raspberries and strawberries ... and good sore" - you're taking care of yourself. Susan (hikergirl) - Seems like a reasonable approach to see your path as getting more "on" than "off" - sounds do-able. Joy (gardenerjoy) - Glad that the massage went well. Neat idea to use dry erase marker for a reusable daily checklist. CeeJay - Yay for a whole week at home to catch up. Some good eating going on. Readers - Quote:
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All those advantages!
BHM (and someone else? Sorry - am on BB so not very lithe & flexible) I have 21 advantages, on the BlackBerry, which I'm prompted to read three times a day. Morning (with breakfast), 1530 (that's just before a very shaky time for me) and evening.
I decided a while ago that I had to engage with them, organise, rewrite them otherwise I'd tend towards the speed-reading someone mentioned. So at present they're organised by very important, important and quite important. And then there's a sentence expanding things a bit. Today I put a line between the three categories and I may only read one category each time. Example Advantages to me of eating clean and losing weight How important is this advantage to me? Very? Important? Quite? * I'll look better. Important. My face looks much better and my posture is improving. I may cut down the number or amalgamate as time goes on. :wave: all round. Lovely to see you all. |
Hi coaches and buddies...Home Sweet Home...
I am glad to be back home, sleep in my own bed, and sit in my comfy lazyboy chair! Yesterday I stayed on my exchange plan - I am grateful. Today I'll go back to counting calories. They were good important family visits - I loved spending time with my three year old grandson. He's a real sillyhead and a comedian - kinda like his daddy. Today I have lots of paperwork to catch up on, need to go to grocery, pay bills, work on taxes (ugh), etc. My elementary school programs went wonderfully. My pieces and parts were not an issue. I am grateful. Folks at the schools helped me get my 'stuff' in. It's not easy to ask - but, I find that folks are kind and eager to help. I am very, very happy to be back home in my 'food comfort zone' - without so many temptations. yesterday's credits wrote down 5 gratitudes (I've done this daily for 12 years) used 'oh well' and res. techniques when I wanted to eat extra before bed. leave bite of food - most of the time fork down - most of the time slow eating - some of the time no seconds - all of the time read arc/rc - one time stretches and strengthening exercises oops didn't read beck book no spontaneous exercise didn't feel fullness ate lunch in the car while driving home - I just wanted to get home bill - sounds like food and exercise went well yesterday - that's great. Hope your basement isn't too much of a hassle. silverbirch - such a good idea...putting your arc on your blackberry with a prompt!!! ceejay - I am glad you are enjoying some time at home. I think time off recharges our batteries. Sounds like you've had another healthy day...yay! Hooray for two pounds down!!!!!!! bennyhanamama - I loved seeing all of your dancing brocolli this morning - that's wonderful. I drove past Ann Arbor yesterday and waved at you. You've been through alot these past couple of years. I am so happy to see you moving forward and finding some contentment again. You asked what kind of programming I do in schools...I do storytelling, singing and stories with puppets & props. seadwaters - glad you could post here - it's hard when life is busy and crazy. Using your core beck techniques is helpful. hikergirl- posting here everyday is a real credit. I know it's easy to 'run away' from accountability - but, even if your food hasn't been perfect, you've been checking in. I understand dealing with eating for a long long time...I am 58 and have been dealing with disordered eating for over 40 years too. But, we can't stop trying. Dr. Beck has given us something to hold on to. gardenerjoy - so, so glad you got your massage - a wonderful thing! Many many kudo's for surpassing your exercise goal for March!! shepardess - yes, I agree that all the wonderful fruits and vegetables that are available should be included in my gratitude list! Enjoy - when I visited California in February - the berries were fantastic. Good job on working with the weights. maryblu - I love hearing and seeing the spring birdies too. Everyone - have a healthy day. |
Days 11 - 13
These are similar to exercises I did in the green book and don't feel a need to repeat at this time. I keep telling myself that I'm no good in the "determining hunger" department, but reading through the material, I realized that I'm much better than I used to be and, presumably, will continue to improve even if I never reach the point where I could call myself an instinctual eater. My food was less in control yesterday than normal, but I don't feel at all bad about last night's event since it was unique. The St. Louis food bloggers got together at a cooking school and one of the bloggers who grew up in India taught us all how to make Indian street food. Yum! I'm giving myself credit for taking small servings and never going back for seconds, even though there was lots of encouragement from the cook: "Have some more! There's plenty!" She says that Indian mothers are similar to Italian mothers in that way. It was all more sodium than I'm used to, so I didn't weigh myself this morning. Today should be better -- I planned it out in Spark People, so all I have to do is follow the plan to eat well today. Tomorrow might be worse since it's DH's birthday so he gets to choose. Good thing that only comes around once a year! WI: N/A kg, Exercise: +0, 1720/1550 minutes for March, Food: 70% on, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes hikergirl: You might try thinking in terms of percents. Rather than "on" or "off," think about being 90% or 75% on. That helps me rescue a day that had some things not go right because I want the percent at the end of the day to be as high as possible. It can also help me improve from day to day (yesterday I was 70%, today I'm shooting for 90%, for example). That's a tip I got from The Incredible Shrinking Critic by Jami Bernard. Now that I think of it, I'm going to start marking my food in percents instead of just "op" or "off". CeeJay: I hadn't done a massage in years because of feeling too uncomfortable to take my clothes off even for something that therapeutic. It helps, a little, to have started losing. But the best thing, for me, was going to a massage therapist who is a recovering overeater and has a lot of clients that she met in OA. I knew for certain that I wasn't the biggest person she ever worked on! bennyhannahmama: yay for all your credits -- including two posts in one day! BillBlueEyes: good job skipping the protein when it wasn't needed and getting back to the gym on Monday. silverbirch: great way to make the Advantages list work for you! Beverlyjoy: yay for Home Sweet Home and being happy to be in your food comfort zone. |
Hi. I am here because I am here. Thank you, thank you,for your suggestions and thoughts. Write more tomorrow. Thanks.
Sussan |
Hello everyone- nice to be posting in the afternoon-loving the week off!!
BillBlueEyes-boo for leaking basements. I know all about what a pain that is. Credit for going to the gym and eating well. silverbirch- I like the idea of rearranging your advantage cards to reflect their importance. Mine are from the pretty frivolous, i.e. get a massage to the pretty lifesaving, i.e. health benefits cards. Beverlyjoy-glad to hear you had a nice vacation. How wonderful to have a three year old grandson to spend time with. Enjoy getting back into your regular, healthy routine. gardenerjoy- learning how to make Indian food must of been fun. Credit for not overeating it. hikergirl-nice to see you pop in. Looking forward to reading more tomorrow. All is well here today. How could it not be when you don't have to go to work? :p Credit today for: weighing in doing weights posting reading advantage and response cards eating on plan so far eating slowly and mindfully so far planning to walk again today with DH :grouphug: |
Tuesday March 30th
Coaches/Buddies:
Today was a good day. I weighed in :broc: I read my Advantages :broc: I did planned exercise :broc: I did spontaneous exercise :broc: I tracked my food :broc: I ate slowly and mindfully while sitting down :broc: More tomorrow :) |
Wednesday
Diet Coaches/Buddies - It continues to rain here and I continue to wet-vac the basement - CREDIT moi since that's what needs to be done. Should the rain ever stop, we can try to patch the leaks in the walls. Exercise was keeping the water from doing damage in my basement (did I already mention that?). I took the No-Easter-Candy pledge over in the Maintainers Forum. All that candy everywhere continues to bug me.
Kim (bennyhannamama) - Hello dancing broccoli representing "a good day." Susan (hikergirl) - Waving back because you are. Joy (gardenerjoy) - Your attitude about your unique Indian food demo seems right on. A sane life should recognize unique eating situations; it seems it's those every-day-unique situations (like office celebrations) serving standard food that we have to avoid as excuses to over eat. CeeJay - Yay for savoring your week off. Yay for savoring life. Kudos for eating on plan during your unstructured days. Beverlyjoy - Know that feeling of sitting in a favorite Lazy-Boy chair. Ours was purchased for DW to sit while nursing our now-twenty-seven year old. It's still going and still a favorite. Kudos for pulling off that long trip with its "good important family visits." silverbirch - LOL at my response to "and my posture is improving" - since I have a sub-conscious notion that you have impeccable posture, standing straight up like a dancer. Neat idea to have your BlackBerry prompt you to read your advantages. Readers - Quote:
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Quote:
:hug: to you all. |
Wednesday night - last session completed
Diet coaches
Well it is all over - weird feeling. :carrot: Treatment started last July and now it's done. Astonishing. Tomorrow I start a weeks leave and planning for diet type (might change) and menus and shopping and getting back on track. I have had really long days this week so just wanted to check in to remember what my goals and who will help me get there Cheryl |
Day 14: Plan for Tomorrow
I'm going to write my food plan in the morning, but I read the chapter today since I plan to start tomorrow -- April 1st (no foolin'). I scribbled some ideas last night. The DASH Diet presents some challenges. 4 Fruits! There's plenty of protein, but an emphasis on a variety of sources. So, if I eat meat at night, I'll want a vegetarian lunch and vice versa. I can still have my afternoon snack of nuts, but not on the days that I eat tempeh for breakfast or supper because nuts and legumes are in the same food group. There's more dairy than I normally eat, so that will also be an adjustment. Today's pre-diet challenge is two meals out. And, I'm not really interested in blowing it just because I'm starting a new diet tomorrow. I've been eating well for months, so this is not an occasion to do anything else. I'll aim for lots of veggies and leave or take home part of the entree. WI: -0.85kg, Exercise: +95, 1815/1550 minutes for March, Food: 99% on, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes Yay, seadwaters! At the cancer wellness fair I went to early in the month, one of the speakers said she didn't like the term cancer survivor since it only emphasizes living through it -- she used the term "cancer thriver." I love your plans for your week off -- definitely thriving! |
I was having trouble posting yesterday, but I’ve had two days mostly on plan. There was a restaurant incident Monday night that didn’t go that well, but I’m cutting myself some slack. Our power went out while we were making dinner and so we drove the 45 minutes into town for dinner. I was starving by the time we got into town and couldn’t ignore the chips and salsa while we were waiting for our food.
We have had two days of miserable wind. I’m used to windy weather, but this was rocks-in-your-pocket windy. I tried to get out for a run on Mon., since I hadn’t been running in a while, but I was getting sand blasted and turned back. I finished by jumping rope. Yesterday I did some jump rope and some yoga for exercise. We’re looking at a storm blowing in, so I see a jump rope in my future. Gardenerjoy, yay for a message! I’m so impressed that you’re keeping up your exercise (105 minutes!) even after passing your March goal. The Indian street food would have been so dangerous for me, but it sounds like you handled it really well. Hikegirl, I know all about that “good girl/bad girl” cycle. Huge kudos for committing to make the change, but yes it does take a huge amount of work. I think Beck helps us brake that cycle because we give ourselves credit for good dieting behavior and break that “diet=punishment” mentality. Instead, we reward ourselves. And when we do get off track, we just say “Oh well” and get back on the program. No catastrophe. Bennyhannamamma, yay for that long list of credits—especially for sneaking in all that spontaneous exercise! CeeJay, yay for time off work so you can take time and enjoy that wonderful menu you planned. My response cards are up for grabs! BillBE, kudos for getting to the gym, especially since the weekend throws off your groove. Great job skipping a planned food because you decided you didn’t need it. Those are the in-the-moment decisions I would love to make. SilverBirch, your organization is so impressive. It sounds like you have such a great system. I need to figure out a way to prompt myself to read my cards in the PM because I’m always a bit weaker by then. Beverlyjoy, so glad you made it home safely and are getting back into your comfortable routine. So much easier to stay with Beck when you are more in control of your environment. That’s a great, long list of credits! Seadwaters, yay for being done with treatments. Your weeks leave should give you some much needed recovery time and I hope you’re having pleasant fall weather to enjoy. |
Quote:
But before I do that ... Thank you for your kind words. I am quite an organised person but Life often gets in the way. :D At present, for example, I am having a big tussle with myself about going to my mother's at Easter. Yesterday was the second anniversary of my father's death. I spent a lot of time there before and after he died and was very involved in it all. I do not want to go this Easter as I'd like to have a bit of emotional time off but, for a number of reasons, I have to go. Tussle, tussle. Off-plan eating. Tussle, tussle. I think I am now back on track. My body rebels by giving me terrible indigestion in the night when I don't eat properly and then I don't have enough sleep and you can imagine the rest ... So it's not worth it, in the long run. Or the medium run, come to that. The tussling is pretty much over now. Back to being an organised and relaxed person. :dancer: You've gotta rock and roll with it a bit. (Famous last words!) |
Wednesday March 31st
Coaches/Buddies:
In the past few days I have unintentionally completed the "Hunger Experiment". It did show me that hunger pains will pass and I constantly reminded myself that "hunger is not an emergency". My problem though is keeping myself in check once I do start eating. Luckily, I did not overeat, but I did let some important things slip-- like eating slowly and mindfully and sitting down. So, I do know that hunger is not an emergency and that I'll be okay. However, I still would like to avoid getting too hungry because I then have difficulty keeping myself in check. I truly believe eating small meals every few hours is the way to go. Keeping my blood sugar stable really seems to be key for me. Today I have: Weighed in :broc: Ate slowly and mindfully while sitting down :broc: Gave myself credit :broc: Checked in here :broc: Maryblu: I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one had concerns about how together their therapist is. It's also good to be reminded that you found success regardless of his situation. Definitely weird about him not remembering how you've lost your weight (and it seems like a psychological study in itself :D). BillBlueEyes: So, this was not the first time you wished you had a Yiddish speaking grandmother? lol Shepherdess: Good for you for doing weights (even though you know you won't be doing them regularly for awhile still)! I enjoy being sore after a workout because it's a reminder that I'm doing great things for myself. Gardnerjoy: Thanks for letting me know about your Advantages and Response cards. I still haven't changed mine, but I think I'm going to. I appreciate your perspective about having a therapist that understands what it's like to deal with weight issues. I had thought about that and it definitely has it's advantages. Hikergirl: :bday2you: I hope you have a wonderful day! I think committing to checking in here and weighing daily is awesome. Keep up with that and you will be ready to move forward soon. I appreciate your thoughts and experiences with the whole "good girl- bad girl" cycle and it has given me more to think about. Ceejay: Yep, speed-reading is my concern about my Advantages. Yeah for hanging out at home and relaxing! Silverbirch: I've been using my Blackberry to help me with this program too! I read my full list of Advantages first thing in the morning and then I read a few right before I eat each meal. (I also have them on my BB which means I always have them with me.) I have also felt the need to "engage" with them to make them more meaningful. I may start writing about one advantage a day as part of my post. Thanks for sharing what you've been doing, it's really helpful to hear. Beverlyjoy: So glad to hear you enjoyed your time with your grandson-- so much fun! Your storytelling with puppets sounds like fun-- how can I get you to come to my kids' schools? :D Enjoy being home and getting back into the normalcy. seadwaters: I can't imagine all the different emotions you must be experiencing. Your plan for planning sounds great. I hope having things back to "normal" is wonderful for you. |
Hello all. Just reading through the posts and enjoying them (thoroughly!). A big wave to you all.
Thank you Bennyhann... for the birthday wishes. Susan |
Hi coaches, buddies, friends....
Yesterday was a good day...I am grateful. It was nice to be home. I found that at the end of the day I was way low on my calories. So I ate some dark chocolate - benenfits of dark chocolate were all over the news yesterday. I suppose I could have had fruit - but, chose chocolate. My pieces and parts are holding up - grateful for that, too. Today I have been running my mom around to her appointments and still trying to catch up. The most important thing to do now is work on my taxes and the silent auction/fundraiser for our literacy project. Yesterday I cooked a spaghetti squash. I'd forgotten how good it is with all kind of things. I whole cup is about 40 calories. I've frozen several one cup servings, too. Isn't it funny to get excited about a veggie. credits wrote down my gratitudes ate seated, no seconds - all the time fork down between bites - most of the time plan food - logged food feel fullness - some of the time left a bite of meals and snacks read arc/rc - one time said oh well and no choice a couple times during the day stretches and strengthening oops no spontaneous exercise no beck book not enough water changed my plan hikergirl - HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you!!! Hope you had a great day. Glad you posted. bennyhm- good for you getting done with the hunger experiment. Ya know it seems almost silly - but, it's amazing how it can help when you might have to postpone a meal or eat much later. Hooray for the smiling brocolli's. silverbirch - I understand how it can be hard going home for Easter - for your many reasons. It's hard after the loss of a loved one. Plus - the food. I am glad to hear you are feeling less tussled and back to being organized again. Yay. shepardess - goodness - you have had quite a time with weather and it's impact. The chips and salsa incident is over...and just move on. Plus - it didn't cause a full blown binge which is good. Kudo's for finding exercise elsewhere after being blasted by the strong wind. gardenjoy - sounds like you've got a good approach to your plan and planning your plan. Good for you for not planning to 'go crazy' before you start your dash plan. I read somewhere that bingeing before starting a new plan is like going on a trip with extra luggage. seadwaters - hoooorayyy!!!! so glad your treatments are over. I like that you are taking some time for yourself - with plans to concentrate on yourself too. billbe - so sorry it's still raining in your part of the world! I hope it doesn't do too much damage. The 'wrong' kind of exercise to have to do, of course. You are so right....so much easter candy. Worst of all...next week it will all my half price. Hang in there! Ceejay - I hope you are enjoying your week off! I love that you and dh get to take walks together. Shout out to everyone who stops by. |
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