It's March Already?
 

Dearest coaches and old and new Becksters,

Hello! Seems I haven't visited since February--surprised me! I am struggling because the life I had when I started Beck Forum is so different than the one I am in now! I was trying to escape at inlaws so I was out and about alot and getting exercise. Then the new house and the snow shut-in changed my priorities. I'm home alot and subtly and slowly, and with diet success, my program doesn't seem to have the old punch. Also, I am still insecure about marriage--hubbie is changing too, and we have political differences (we live in different color states!) and so I'm feeling a bit weird--so much so that I freaked out at Shutter Island and wanted to get out of the theater! I was surprised at my discomfort at the movies, I can usually relax and look at the dialogic imagination of it, but this movie freaked me out!
So I am good on plan till the evening, but by then, I'm a bit "oh what the ****" and eating extras. It is frustrating, but I can see how our overeating can be definitely a (chakra?) alert to our discomfort somewhere. I seem to be relatively unrooted at the moment. It is upsetting, I'm finally in my dream home, but I'm not rooted in it! it is hard to get rooted, it takes so much effort. Can I be true to myself and stay married and keep this beautiful home? At my age, it is important. To be true to oneself or live like a monster. ? Meantime, I learn how to restore 100 year old oak paneling. I see oak grain when I close my eyes.
Kudos for all of you who are doing well with little choices during the day, and for coming back, and for being my rootedness in Beck. You don't know how much I love you, coming here to hang out with you! I love the lessons in shepherding and the adventures, and the Canadian voices (go Canada!) and those across the US and the globe (down under!). Love you, keep reminding me how to do the program and how it makes you, or me, "a better person" (a la the big date in restaurant scene in AS GOOD AS IT GETS). ta.

Thank you all. I seem to be back in the Beck zone. Good news—I have not binged for 8 straight days. Big for me. I have not had that achievement in years. Yesterday I kept repeating to myself my main Advantage and that kept me in a decent space. Yes, I had 200 calories of a trigger snack food, but I was able to have one package and not use that as a springboard for many more calories. So, instead of 150 calorie bonus I had a 200 calorie bonus and did not go on a slide. Boy, as I write this I realize how skewed my relationship with food is

Shepherdess – awesome that you are at a place where you are able to listen to your body and make conscious decisions over whether you will have something or not.

Onebyone – challenging situation with regards to DH’s food habits. Yikes. Focus, focus, focus on Advantages and Resistance techniques.(?). But,wow that must be difficult.

Ceejay – steady at it…I too have to focus on eating slowly and I slip out of that with frequency because old habits take over and my busy, fragmented life diverts my attention.

Beverlyjoy- awesome, awesome numbers and a triumph. Congrats. Travelling and losing weight!

Chinamaine – congrats on the new low. What a positive outcome/reinforcement for all of your efforts.

Eusbus – slow and mindful – I know that it is so much more difficult than it sounds.

Mid-life crisis --- I agree that at our age one must be true to oneself. I would urge you to continue on the path of waiting for total clarity until you are sure on what being true to yourself is in this instance. I find that clarity is what makes me decisive in making my decision as to what is being true to myself in different circumstances. Sometimes it can take me a long time to arrive at this clarity

I know that I have not commented to everyone who posted yesterday. I will catch up in future posts. In the meantime ---- one day at a time and if necessary – one minute at a time.

Susan

I finally threw out all the leftover treats from shearing. One of the disadvantages about living the right on the ranch is that after all these big workdays, the extra food always ends up in your kitchen. So I’ve had some cookies, blondies, and carrot cake cupcakes (they’re the devil) sitting in my kitchen for a few days. I’ve been able to ignore them, but I took advantage of my mindset yesterday when it was easy to remember my card, “The food is already wasted. It can either waste in the trash or on my butt.” So I did what I almost never do and threw away desserts I don’t need.

Another beautiful day, so the dogs and I got our very muddy run in.

Onebyone, I felt the same way about Avatar. Visually beautiful, but the storyline was predictable and the characters too simple. I know the weigh-in is disappointing, but this is just another difficult situation to deal with. It might be helpful if you found a way to get your dh on board. Maybe get him to read a bit of Beck or tell him about your diet and let him know that if he is going to bring treats in the house he needs to keep them somewhere where you won’t see them.

CeeJay, kudos for getting in your exercise. Yay for another day of eating slowly. I think that if you keep it up, it will one day be automatic.

BillBE, yay for getting your full-length walk in. Kudos for getting by Whole Foods and Trader Joes without stopping for samples and laughing at the diet gods for putting another obstacle in your path, just when you figured out how to avoid the others. Your comment about the organic gummy tree reminds me of some organic gummy bears I once bought at Whole Foods. Apparently, it’s impossible to get those bright gummy bear colors with natural food dyes, so the organic gummy bears were some of the most ghastly colored candies I’ve ever seen. DH and I were imagining the poor deprived child that grew up with those gummy bears telling his friends, “My favorite gummy bear color is grey.”

Beverlyjoy, huge congrats for a 4 lb loss, on a trip no less! That has to be a big confidence boost. If you can remain Beck-faithful on a trip, you can meet any diet challenge. Remind yourself of this weigh-in any time you feel your confidence flagging.

ChinaMaine, yay for subsiding hunger levels, warm weather that makes outdoor exercise possible and for good work days! It sounds like you are on a roll! Crossing my fingers that you’ll have an early spring.

Eusebius, kudos for Monday OP and for avoiding major damage on Tuesday. I had to make a response card that reads, “Food doesn’t fix tired.” I seem to associate any physical discomfort with hunger—it’s a tough habit to break.

So glad to hear you’re a spinner. I have so much wool around I need to learn. We raise Rambouillet sheep, also known as the French Merino. They’re a fine wool breed. And we have begun to breed some very fine-wool Merino’s from Nevada into our herd, trying to bring down our micron count even more. The Nevada program is really amazing. All of my wool books say the finer the wool, the shorter the staple length, but the Nevada program is turning the conventional wisdom on its head. They have super-fine wool with a 4 ½ to 5 in staple. It’s pretty exciting.

Midlifecrisis57, ouch for difficulties with hubby and in-laws. Night can be a difficult time—just worn down from a tough day. Sending comforting thoughts. It can be so difficult to make a big move. Are there any community organizations that you can get involved in? Maybe finding a community will help with feeling rooted.

Hikegirl, yay for being in the Beck zone! Great job keeping your snack at only 50 calories over your goal, especially with a trigger food. One of the things I like about Beck is that she stresses being able to eat those trigger foods in sane serving sizes. I have had a lot of food fears and I like slowly taking the power away from those foods. I am stronger than a chocolate chip cookie!

Hello everyone!!!

BillBlueEyes-Big credit for the 4 mile walk and avoiding the food stores. The soup sounds healthy and delicious so nothing to worry about there.

Beverlyjoy- yay for a healthy Tuesday. Losing 4 pounds while you were away is so fantastic. Who does that???? YOU!!!!!!!! You should feel proud. Being away is one of the biggest challenges and you more than succeeded. 51 pounds!!!!

ChinaMaine- hurrah for a new low. We are getting great weather here too. You know what they say about March- in like a lamb, out like a lion. So I have my fingers crossed. Snow was actually starting to melt over the last few days.

Thanks for sharing your experiences with eating slowly and mindfully. I just know all I can think about and do when I am eating is eating. :D That is so simple, but so hard. I am planning on making your recipe once I get back to the city to buy ingredients.

eusebius- your day sounds crazy. Yay for an on-program day on Monday. Hope Day 3 went well for you. I am in the boonies of Manitoba, north of Winnipeg.

midlifecrisis57-sending you a big hug-- it sounds like you are doing a lot of soul searching.

hikergirl- yay for being back in the zone and your accomplishment of 8 days binge free.

Shepherdess-good for you for throwing away the desserts. That is huge.

For me, another day on track. Thank you all for this place. Reading your posts, being accountable, and posting to you is helping more than I can believe.

For me, taking credit today for:

weighing in
walking 35 minutes in the sunshine with DH
posting to my coaches
reading advantage and response cards
eating on plan and healthy
eating mindfully and slowly. :cool:
resisting the invitation to lunch at a Chinese restaurant and eating my salad and tuna sandwich instead
planning tomorrow and packing lunch.

:grouphug:

Thursday Evening
 

Hi Coaches
I am back home and today got to stay home because it was a machine maintenance day so I didn't need to go to r/therapy. I also cancelled physical therapy because I am feeling very tired so maybe it is starting to get to me. Never mind - after tomorrow only 3.5 weeks to go!

I haven't eaten much today - not that hungry but looking for fruit so I followed the urge. I have been planning food and activities so I will have a less hassled weekend getting everything ready for the few days in Sydney. The last few days a bit off plan because I am tired I think (even though "food doesn't fix tired"!). But I will be more organised the next few days. Have been reading Beck and looking at my cards - and checking in here to read.

In answer to a few of the questions: In Australia they are definitely chips that one has with fish. I am a Tomato Sauce girl myself but if someone has vinegar it is always dark malt vinegar I believe; no - I was not in front of the Opera House having my picture taken with a zillion other Aussies. It would have been quite a sight though! School and Uni has long summer vacation - school from just before Christmas to end of January, and Uni from middle November to late February or early March. There is usually a month in July

Will check back tomorrow - hopefully with more enegy!

Thursday
 

Diet Coaches/Buddies - Another trip to the gym; CREDIT moi. Can feel the chest muscles from my workout two days ago. Need to keep a rehab notion in my mind instead of a guilty-for-being-away notion. Saved a third of my broiled salmon from dinner for lunch today; CREDIT moi. I'm already looking forward to lunch, LOL.

ChinaMaine - Yay for hanging laundry out - now that's believing in Spring, LOL. The fast food place of yesterday isn't a chain, it's its own thing. I hope he makes it, even tough the menu as a whole isn't what I'm currently eating, there are corners - like the daily homemade soup - that look promising. Suspect that Moose has this Maine-mud-season figured out, LOL.

Erika (eusebius) - It's great to hear how professionally busy you are; hope you're giving yourself mucho credit for getting there. Thanks for the reminder that "eating to stay awake" fits right in with all the other if-it-isn't-hunger-food-isn't-the-answer. Thanks for the kind words. I'm happy to be here.

Shepherdess - Big Kudos for tossing all those treats and for "The food is already wasted ..." I wish I could get that already-wasted thought down into my gut without needing to do so much analysis before I get to it. LOL at “My favorite gummy bear color is grey.”

Beverlyjoy - Congrats on the four pounds lost during difficult times. And Yep, Big Kudos for "willingness to try." (Tickers are down throughout 3FC - they're looking into it.)

CeeJay - Neat to have "walking ... sunshine ... DH" all in the same sentence. Good job choosing your packed lunch over the Chinese Restaurant.

Susan (hikergirl) - Yay for "back in the Beck zone." Yep, I recognize that realization of how skewed our relationship with food is. Keep the faith, you're moving forward.

midlifecrisis57 - Kudos for confronting "I seem to be relatively unrooted at the moment." Hope begins when we expose our issues to the light. Wish you well.

seadwaters - Ouch for tired, buy Yay for the neat perspective, "only 3.5 weeks to go!" Neat that your urge was for fruit.

Readers -

Wednesday
 

The Good :angel:
- Throughout the day, I identified satisfaction vs fullness while eating, and I stopped eating when satisfied – I ate to fullness for lunch, I’m going to start making half sandwiches so that I can eat veggies and fruit with lunch, and not feel full - partial credit!
- Throughout the day, I identified hunger vs non-hunger before I ate – yep!
- Eat mindfully, enjoying every bite – credit!
- Give credit throughout the day for every positive eating behavior – yep!
- Tolerated non-hunger without eating – credit!
- Spontaneous exercise – yep!
- I posted here – yes!

The Bad, and the Ugly :no:
- Read the pink book – nope
- Used resistance techniques – I had too much wine last night…

Erika (eusebius) Your days sound so busy! – kudos for tracking everything and being op Monday. Yes, I’ve been concentrating on having my Beck skills become daily habits. But I haven’t been exercising much (fatigue issues), and so haven’t been losing much weight. But the exercise seems to be coming back, so we’ll see how it goes…

midlifecrisis You are going through so much right now. Hopefully working the Beck skills can help you stabilize your food and exercise, while you deal with the other things in your life that you don’t have sole control over…

Susan (hikergirl) Bravo! For eating a slightly bigger snack and not binging!

shepherdess Yay! For the warm, muddy run – and especially for throwing away all those desserts! Let’s hope we both get an early Spring!

CeeJay Kudos for the walk in the sun, and for all your other credits!

seadwaters Sorry to hear you are feeling under the weather. Hope it turns around soon for you. Good luck getting organized for the weekend.

Bill Sounds like bit of moderation at the gym might be in order. ;) I’m drooling over salmon for lunch!

Hi coaches/buddies...yesterday was a healthy day until my little neighbors came over with a dark chocolate birthday cake with nuts that they made for me. They serenaded me with songs. It was so sweet of them...and sweet a cake too. It seems like two weeks away from home and weeks before that following the Beck Principles flew out the windows. I had more than one piece of cake. I honestly think it was a kind of 'let down' of my guard after trying so, so hard. Not an excuse - some how I wasn't willing to push through one more time of saying 'not now' - 'save it for tomorrow' - 'this is unplanned', etc. But, all in all it was just not really worth eating all that cake when it was all over. I hate having to learn all these lessons.

Today I am planning for a healthy day!

chinamarie - sorry you had a sad night yesterday. Also - sad to hear about dh's cousin. I am glad folks will come and help plant the memorial garden.

hikergirl - I seem to be back in the Beck zone. Good news—I have not binged for 8 straight days. Big for me. I have not had that achievement in years. Thhis is wonderful. I know it feels good - you can keep moving forward.

Bill - sounds like a good workout. Saving yummy salmon for another day is a good way to plan ahead for another good meal!

seadwaters - sorry you are feeling so weary. Perhaps - getting these days off from therapy will help. Glad you are craving fruit and reading your Beck cards. Take care now.

cee-jay = kudo's for all those credits. I am glad you had such a good day. Those are the kind of days to build on. I agree....come here to the forum does help and is encouraging.

shepardess - tossing those extra goodies from shearing time is a major credit! Carry on.

Midlifecrisis - , sorry to hear about the difficulties with dh and in-laws. Night time can be challenging -we get tired out down from a tough day. Hugs to you. Moving or comtemplating a move is stressful - maybe make a list of what you really want, don't want and what is really feasible.

Take care everyone.

Day 2 is choosing the diet and back-up diet, which I pretty much did while reading the introductory material to the workbook. I've hit a snag on the DASH diet -- I'm fourth in line for the book at the library. So, I may do my backup plan, calorie counting, earlier than expected. I've been reading the new book The Spark by Chris Downie, CEO of SparkPeople which I think is big on calorie counting, so I might have been headed in that direction anyway. It seems to have a lot of same underlying theory as the Beck books, but doesn't take itself nearly as seriously and so is more fun and exciting which seems like good traits when my mission is to break through a plateau.

WI: -0.3kg, Exercise: +70, 195/1550 minutes for March, Food: op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

Beverljoy: LOL at "Now one of my goals for today is to NOT overeat because of my loss" -- I've done that! I don't recommend it :-)

Hi to everyone else!

Hi - all is well.

Beverlyjoy - Happpy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you!. The cake sounds wonderful. If you can, try and put behind you the fact that you had more than one slice. Look ahead (and it was your birthday!).

Bye everyone. Today's posts (the ones I just read) are inspiring and supportive. It is a great way to start my day.

"Talk to you" all tomorrow.
Susan

Afternoon Coaches -

Morning was too busy to post today but the young violinist I played for this morning won the competition - yay! (She was outstanding, and is a student at the Curtis Institute in Philadelphia; no real surprise that she won, but it was a pleasure to play for her.) I'm somewhat amazed that I managed to get through yesterday on plan, but it all worked out. Today for lunch I had something I didn't know existed: a 5-point macaroni and cheese. Cool. No doubt full of too many chemicals ... but right now I'm focusing on keeping within the points, and will eventually try to decrease the processed food content.

Read ARC: yes!
Sat down to eat: yes!
Gave myself credit: yes indeed ... today is day 4 so I'm focusing on doing that.

midlifecrisis57 - welcome back! Oh, those evenings are so hard sometimes ... particularly when you're going through life changes and struggles. (((Hugs)))

hikergirl - nice job staying within a 200 calorie bonus instead of a binge!! Awesome.

Shepherdess - well done throwing out all those treats - the food is already wasted!! Wow, superfine merino with a 5 in staple length? That's incredible! I want some ... :) :) :) I have a secret dream of spinning enough lightweight yarn for a sweater and dying it in all kinds of colours so I could knit a fair isle sweater ... but given that I haven't even spun in a couple months due to my crazy schedule, this is a long-term goal for sure.

CeeJay - way to go staying on track and avoiding the Chinese restaurant! I have dear musical friends in both Brandon and Winnipeg (my Winnipeg friend hails from Steinbach originally). I am always amazed by the spaciousness and grandeur of the Manitoba prairie landscape.

seadwaters - hope your energy levels rise. Good job keeping up with your Beck reading and planning your weekend.

Bill - Good notion of "rehab" instead of guilt. This is something I need to incorporate into my view of exercise generally.

ChinaMaine - (((hugs))) to you ... what a beautiful idea to plant MIL's garden at Memorial Day. How perfect. Awesome job identifying satisfaction vs. fullness!

Beverlyjoy - OH WELL on the cake ... you really have been doing well and you can keep right on track now!

gardenerjoy - excellent choices for your diet and backup diet. Calorie counting is my backup as well.

OK I think a flute player is headed my way now ... better go. Enjoy the rest of your Thursday, all ...
cheers
Erika

I've doused the cake with dish soap and water and it's in the trash can. I've been saying "oh well" all day. Dh is shocked that I pitched the homemade cake our little neighbors made. Also went his candy and chips!

I was able to run my summer route yesterday. It’s my favorite running route, but it gets snowed in during winter. These several warm days and lots of wind have left the road fairly clear and dry, although it was still snowed in further up the road.

Well, it is official: I have reached my goal weight. I actually reached it over a week ago, but didn’t believe it. My weight went up a few lbs after shearing, but it’s been back down for two days in a row now. I’m finally accepting it. This should be cause for celebration, but it’s bringing more anxiety. I have dieted to goal weights before (they’re a moving target) decided I still didn’t like the way I looked, got stricter, then wound up falling off the wagon and gaining the weight back. I’m feeling more confident now. I’m eating in a way that is sustainable for the long-term and I know intellectually how well my former overly-strict/let it-all-go eating pattern has worked for me.

I’m having trouble making the transition from someone who is trying to lose weight to someone who is happy with the way she looks. I have never been happy with the way I look and as soon as my goal weight showed up on the scale, I began looking for flaws. I guess, like everything else it just takes practice. I think it was ChinaMaine who said to counter every negative thought with a positive one. I’m going to begin working on that. And for now, I’m going to celebrate reaching my goal. I’m ordering a running skirt so I will be ready for warm-weather running.

CeeJay, yay for a walk with your husband in the sunshine! Great job eating slowly and for resisting the desire to go out for Chinese. Each good day under your belt establishes a habit.

Seadwaters, ouch for being tired, but good job giving yourself the rest you need. You’ve been extremely busy and stressed, so some tiredness is to be expected. Hope you’re feeling better soon!

BillBE, kudos for getting to the gym and for thinking of it as rehab. It’s always hard for regular exercisers to take it easy after taking time off. Great job saving some dinner for lunch. Establishing a habit of delayed gratification isn’t easy.

ChinaMaine, hugs for missing your MIL and so sorry that you have had another death in the family. It’s great that his family will come out to plant the Memorial garden. Glad to hear you are feeling better physically.

Beverlyjoy, ouch for the chocolate cake, but kudos for learning something from it, even if you would rather not have the lesson. Sometimes it’s easier to resist during those times we know are going to be tough because we prepare and get in the right mindset. It’s the days that we least suspect trouble that can cause problems.

Gardenerjoy, yay for breathing some new life into your diet. I hadn’t heard of the DASH diet before. It sounds intriguing. And yes the dieting principles may be the same, but sometimes it just helps to hear them in a different way from someone else.

Hikegirl, waving. Glad all is well.

Eusebius, that’s so cool that the violinist you play for won the competition! Congrats on a day on plan. I agree that focusing on one thing at a time is best. Whenever you’re ready to start spinning again, let me know. I’m happy to provide the fiber!

Shepherdess - Congrats on reaching your goal weight!! :woohoo::carrot:
I am so happy for you!

Shepherdess - oh, well done! Very good going, especially in winter. Just fyi, some people over at the Weight & Resistance Training board were dissatisfied with their bodies at goal weight & took up weight training to change things. Many maintainers do weights too. (I love them.) I know you're hefting things about on the farm but thought it might be worth considering.

Bill - reward the positives. 'Oh, well' the negatives. (I think there's a parallel here. A friend is trying to toilet train, etc her children. I really don't think those big black crosses she's putting on the chart are the way to go.)

:hug: :hug: to those of you wrestling with the loss of dear ones and other emotional loss and change