Sorry, but I have to vent somewhere. I am having such a hard time with family members and my weight loss trials, it's not even funny!!!
It seems impossible for them to comprehend that I am on a diet, and that I cannot drink 10 beers, and drink a bottle of wine, etc... This is sooo frustrating.
The problem here is that my DH likes to get together with them every weekend, and aside from all the tempting goodies that I try to keep away from, I have to hear them all night saying how "bad a time" it is to start a diet. Geesh!!!
It's bad enough as it trying to stay OP, without someone saying, oh, just wait til January to start... Get real! Oh, and I am the only fat person in the family...
Jenna - I (and a bunch of us here) know exactly how you feel. Just be strong and you will be rewarded.
Have you thought of wine spritzers (half wine, half club soda)? Or just tell them that since the holidays will bring many more police patrols, you are the designated driver? Maybe that will help.
Once your family realizes that you are in it for the long haul, and this is not just another diet, they will be more supportive. It wasn't until I lost 40lbs or so that my MIL really believed this was my way of life.
Good luck. Maybe some others can offer some other strategies as well. And you know that we are all here for you to vent when you need it.
Thanks! The thing is, that I am really into the plan, and unless I feel like having something, I wont. I guess you could say I am really headstrong and don't want to do something I really don't feel like doing. My water is just fine! In 5 weeks, my average loss is a little over 2.5 lbs and I want to keep it that way...
If the drinking thing isn't a temptation, then stick with offering to be a designated driver. That's my strategy for the holiday season and all the parties!
Don't let anything keep you from this very important and hopefully life-changing goal. You just have to be strong. After Christmas comes the Super Bowl and there will always be another reason not to start. When is a "good time" to start a weight loss program? After your first heart attack?
No one really notices what you eat (or don't eat) or drink (or don't drink). The important thing is to not go and sulk in a corner; join in the fun, just don't focus on the food. While I'm definitely a little more fun when I drink, I feel so much better in the morning and my weight loss tends to be more steady when I don't drink. I also use the designated driver rationale a lot and that helps.
Jenna - October 29th was the first day of the rest of your life! I'm so glad to hear you're headstrong (I can sooooo relate to that!) because you're going to need to have a made up mind. I personally think it's best to get it all out in the open if they already know you're doing LAWL. Let them know that it's not about convenience, it's about living a healthier life and getting to be the healthiest "YOU" that you can be! Let them know how much you would appreciate their support rather than feeling sorry for you and then stick to your guns! I think the DD idea is great, I've never been a drinker and when I was single, it was always assumed that I was "it"!
One other tactic - I find that my boys are so interested in what I fix us, and many times, would rather have our "diet" food than their "regular" food. Once your friends see you eating amazing food AND losing weight before their eyes, suddenly, they are going to be asking you exactly what you eat because "obviously it's working"! (that happened to me three times yesterday at church! I just laughed out loud, although I must admit, all have been extremely supportive!)
Hang in there girlfriend and if you need another hardheaded chick - I'm here for ya!
Hugs,
Ooohhhh, no no no! I dont sulk or anything like that. The thing is I have explained to them that I am on a diet, it's no secret, and I've explained how alcohol makes me retain water but unfortunately my family is the kind that if someone isn't drinking, something is wrong. With me, something is wrong because they can feel I can come off the diet one day a week (when we meet)! Of course, I think most people are more fun to be around with when they've had a couple of drinks, but drink or no drink I am good. It's their lack of understanding that is frustrating.
Anyhoo, Thank you ladies for your encouraging words! Good to see I am not alone in the this "battle against the bulge" fight!
Hi Jenna
You and I are almost the same weight and height wise.. I started at 219.4 and set 160 as a goal to begin with. Look how closer you are to Onederland.. that alone is a HUGE motivator!
I can comprehend more than you think. My hubby's side is English and to that side of the family fun means pints.. of beer etc. I've always enjoyed that celebrating with them and that is part of the reason I ended up weighing what I did. It's hard as many family and friends I know eat like rabbits, can have several drinks and are slim as slim can be.. but I know their diet is not the most healthy! I started LAWL two days before our Thanksgiving. I went to the dinner with my scale, measuring spoons and as they were having all their wine, mashed potatoes, stuffing etc I sat with 3 ozs of wine, two boiled new potatoes and 9 ozs of turkey. Talk about excruiating. BUT I did not feel like my pants were bursting open when I left the table and was rewarded with a loss that week. I think it's not what we have to eat that is hard, it's learning how not to eat what we used to. There are many girls on this board, myself included that used to enjoy our cocktails or have family that do. It has to be one way or the other for me BUT I also do pick certain occasions to indulge a bit knowing that may mean I'll be up on the scales. Sometimes I choose to not look at my weigh ins for that week so you don't regret your family time or that you indulged a bit. You'll find what amount you cheat with now is nothing compared to what you used to have. I have a glass of wine planned in my journal and sometimes feel guilty. But we are all embarking on a lifestyle change and no where is it written you have to live like a monk. Learn when to stay on plan, be prepared that sometimes you may go up but you have the tools and the knowledge (and the SUPPORT) to make it work.
The biggest question I got is why did you start before Thanksgiving and I said something similar to above being well after that we have Dad's 60th birthday, Christmas, New Years, Superbowl, Valentines, St. Patty;s..... so tell me a good time of year to start!
You keep doing what you are doing and know that many of us are riding the same highway!
I learned a little trick that works well for me. In fact, a friends thought I had 4 drinks at a party the other night when in reality I had none!!! I offerend to serve drinks, made them up, and poured myself a glass of club-soda, through a lime slice in it and they all thought I was drinking vodka.
They all know I on LAWL, but I really got tired of the "live a little" comments every time i explained why I was not drinking. So I just decided to play along and drank my "kiddy cocktail" an no one was the wiser. THe funny thing was at the end of the night when I was offering to drive people home... most of them thought I had actually been drinking. Who needs it to have fun? I didn't have to worry about my friends would get home safely and I did not have to worry about whether or not I was OK to drive. Best of all... no calories!! And I got more water in!
I want to chime in here.....Most people are suppportive..but some are not....Like "well you have lost wt. before".....I am trying to refer to this program as a new way of living and eating....not a diet..because it isnt....Living is important and adding those things into your plan that you love...is important to stay on track....nance.
That is so true Nance - diets fail every day, life changes....will they change for life. I completly agree with that! Now, I think I am going to have to vanish the "diet" word from my vocab.
Yep, that is true. I also encounter that whole "well, you have lost weight before, yet here you are" comments. But whatever, as long as you stay committed to your plans and making changes to improve YOUR life, that's all that matters.
I really agree with the thought of treating it as a new way of life, rather than a diet. I've incorporated exercise into my new way of life ... something that I would never have done in a million years before ... and I think it's helping people to see how serious I am about getting myself healthy.
As for the drinking bit - my husband and both quit drinking altogether back in 2002 when I got pregnant for the first time, and even after we lost the baby, just never went back to it. It was interesting at first, because my friends and family all expected me to get back into the party mode when we were together. Those pressures do pass eventually - especially when they realize that you are just as much fun without the booze! Now when I want to join in with a drink every once in a while, I get the reverse comments of "gee...I thought you NEVER drank!" Goes to show - people will always think what they want to think. For me, I love having just as cool a time without the drinks (and the calories), and thoroughly enjoy the clear head the next morning!
Hang in there - you're doing great, and I love the fact that you started at this time of year. My most successful weight loss journey ever started before Easter - I was tired of being tired!
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