I swear I'm about to go crazy this morning. Yesterday a friend of mine called after reading a journal entry I made regarding my bulimic tendencies, and in the course of the conversation, he said "But you don't LOOK that [thin], in your pictures."
Yeah.
I haven't purged, but then I haven't eaten a whole lot since then either, because what he said does not equate to what I heard, which was "You fat cow, there's nothing wrong with you that a good pushing away from the table won't cure".
WHY do people not understand that it is possible for someone to be screwed up on the inside without showing many physical signs?
And it's not just the ED. I have lupus, too, but I don't "look sick". And I feel like everyone in the world (except my husband and doctor) thinks I'm faking it or acting out just to get attention. GAH!!!
Maybe I should just tattoo it on my forehead. What do y'all think of "Contents Under Pressure: Do Not Agitate"?
Darling that's just the way it is. People simply do not get it. And then on top of it they're rude, insensitive and just plain stupid. But love that's THEIR problem, not yours. Be thankful for your doctor, your husband and YOURSELF.
callystia, I am soooo with you!!
Most people thinks ED= very skinny. I guess 95% think that way.
Even most Docs!
My Gyn told me I had to lose 20 kg and I should join Weight watchers to do that. So I told him that I have a hard time with Weight watchers and that "Hey, just loose a few lb"- comments because I am suffering from "An ED not otherwise speficed" (Non- purging Bulimia mostly). And he told me: "No, your not. People with ED are skinny and your not. You donīt have an ED".
Oh, and my Father thought that way. You donīt have an ED, your just trying to hide your lacl of willpower when it comes to food and diets.
People think that if your ill it always shows on the outside. I am suffering from depression too (fortunately just a few months per year) and people tell me: No, you donīt suffer from depression, you are such a funny person!
After all, those people donīt have a clue, there are un- informed and maybe not intelligent. Or sensible....But I LOVE the tattoo idea...Really.
Yeah -- the ironic thing is that my bulimia was at its WORSE when I weighed over 300 pounds. I purged every day -- sometimes 2 or 3 times a day. And I know I sure as **** didn't look like I had an eating disorder in the eyes of an ignorant public. I can spot ED sufferers from a mile away -- and most don't weigh 98 pounds. Bulimics are known to be average or slightly overweight. It isn't a good method of weight less. The majority of ED sufferers are NOT skinny. Most people forget to acknowledge binge/compulsive overeating as eating disorders -- and people who suffer from these ones are not thin, most are obese or morbidly obese.
People are simply ignorant. Most people will understand you are "sick" if you are 80lbs and anorexic. Aside from that....nope, good luck!
I have a fullblown ED, but I'm right in the middle of the perfect weight range, where I've been for a year or so. My boyfriend understands it, but only because he has an ED too.
It is enough to make you want to scream, you're right.
I know how you must feel.
It is soooo difficult. When I was at my worst with my depression/anxiety/ed issues my parents would NOT believe me until I ended up seeing a shrink and at the end of the day I ended up missing out on the last two years of high school due to my real illness(es). (I was home-tutored, so I did graduate, but it was touch and go). Anyway, I sometimes even felt MYSELF that I must be imagining all this. How can I be ill? I don't look ill.
This friend probably just has no clue how glib comments can affect people. Especially people who ARE under pressure.
I can't believe people don't believe you have lupus. Do they really think that you would say that you did in some sort of strange bid for attention?
How weird for them. I tend to be un-cynical and believe people as honest folk like myself until proved otherwise.
They might, though, just not understand.
Some people (including myself at times) have such a hard time believing something exists when there is no physical manifestation.
Its so strange that I came across this post, I had a conversation with someone once, and I told them that I had an ED. They were like oh yeah..bulemia/anorexia. I was like.. no.. I was a complusive over eatter. They just look at me like.. Im the one thats stupid. People are idiots. This I am sure of.
.. I was a complusive over eater. They just look at me like.. Im the one thats stupid. People are idiots. This I am sure of.
People usually just laugh and say, "oh yeah me too" but they don't get that it is REAL and we sometimes can't control it....like overeating is an excuse or something funny we say.
I've often wondered that myself, if confessing to someone you have an ED and they think you're nuts because you're still overweight. Thanks for enlightening me on this one. Sometimes we think we're the only ones.
My heart goes out to every one of you who's posted here -- because I'm one of you. Society just doesn't "get it", do they? If we were all a scraggly 80 pounds, we would have people begging us to get help.
Trust me, ya'll (I'm from OK, remember!), this problem doesn't go away with age -- I've had an ED for all of my adult life; it's just in the past decade that I've "quit caring" and put on an extra 70 pounds. But as we all know -- deep inside we DO care, don't we? I've even had comments like "I've never seen someone as big as you eat so little". What stupid, stupid people we are surrounded by! But I guess I'm the worst -- because I haven't dealt with this issue for so many years.
So now -- in addition to dealing with losing weight and attempting to become healthier -- I must focus on what's going on in my head! Glad to have you all along for the trip!
[QUOTE=OK Lizzy;1490486 I've even had comments like "I've never seen someone as big as you eat so little". [/QUOTE]
My closest, closest friend in the world has said this to me numerous, numerous times. Clueless I tell ya, clueless and she is one of the smartest people that I have ever or will ever meet.
But you are certainly not the worst. We're all in the same exact boat, we all push things off and don't deal with things cause it's just easier. But eventually it catches up with you and you get sick and tired and disgusted and I guess then is the time to start dealing with it. And everybody's time is different. Good luck and we're all here with you doing it together.
You know,
I think a lot of this is due to the overwhelming societal prejudice against the overweight. How many times have you heard, " just put down the fork!"
Like we aren't told every day 4-5 times a day how EASY it is to lose weight.
If it wasn't emotional or disordered don't you think we would all be a size 2? Does society every say " it's OK to be large!!"
Of course an overweight person cannot have a disorder, they aren't tiny and helpless, it is all our fault because fat=BAD! BAD! BAD! and bad people don't deserve help.
I am on the same boat paddling for my life!
Meg
Most people forget to acknowledge binge/compulsive overeating as eating disorders -- and people who suffer from these ones are not thin, most are obese or morbidly obese.
Yep. I worked my way up to a BMI of 32.1 because of binge/compulsive overeating.
Newsflash, world: ED does not equal "skinny"
