everyone i meet compliments me on my weight loss .i know ive lost 14 stone so i must look better but when i look in a mirror i dont see this new woman that everyone else sees i still see the old me .i know im still the same person on the inside (spiritually) and yes i like this part of me .but the image i see isnt me..sounds strange i know but i dont recognise this person i see in the mirror ..who is she?
does anyone else feel this way or do i need to see someone to deal with this?
This is very common. Whats happening is the brain needs time to catch up with the body. Not only do people who lose weight have this issue but also some very thin women look in the mirror and see an over weight person. When I was at goal years ago, I still felt like the 300 lb woman I started at...very sad and difficult issue to over come BUT not impossible.
This time around with my WL, I don't know how I'm going to handle it if I reach my goal but I can tell you that I will try my best to learn to love me and accept my shape and not compair it to some one else.
I'm with leenie - it takes a LONG time for the brain to catch up with the body. i'm nearly 5 years out AND I'M STILL NOT THERE! there are days i wake up and look at my pants, and am CONVINCED that there's no way that they'll fit.
i don't recognize myself in mirrors or windows, but i also must confess that i don't usually look.
if it's any comfort, i'm learning that ANYONE who loses a huge amount of weight, whether through surgery or 'the old fashioned way' deals with this.
do you need to find someone to help you deal? only you can answer that question. however, no matter how you decide this issue, it's still going to take time and focus. but remember this: you're not crazy - this seems to be VERY COMMON.
It's called "body dysmorphia" and it's very common. For example, when you were obese, you probably didn't see yourself as being as heavy as you really were! You looked in the mirror and saw a "plump" you, perhaps, but sometimes would be shocked when you saw a picture or an unguarded glimpse in the mirror at just how obese you were! We train our eyes to see ourselves in a certain way.
Now as you lose the weight, the body dysmorphia kicks in again. You see pretty much what you've always seen. Even as your body shrinks, you look down and still see the plump legs, the huge stomach, etc. that you've always seen!
Though I've been a healthy weight for many years, I still imagine my legs are fat and that my stomach is bulging halfway to my knees when I sit down. I am wearing size 3 pants today, so obviously what I imagine cannot be the truth!
So don't worry about it. Learn to enjoy the added mobility you now are beginning to enjoy and shopping for cute clothes. You'll always get nudges from the old M.O. you, but you'll learn to live with her!
thanks guys its nice to know im not the only one who feels this way .wls is a great thing and im so so glad i had it done but the surgery doesnt deal with the inner issues of being obese .this is something i need to work on and start to love myself and feel worthy of recieving love
This absolutely is something that happens to anyone who loses a lot of weight - I've lost over 80 lbs and gone from a size 24W to a size 16 regular - and I look in the mirror, i see the same thing I've ever seen. Its hard, and it takes time - don't take it to heart, just keep on plugging away at what you're doing. I'm hoping that eventually all of our eyes will catch up with reality.
Hi,
it just occured to me about a week ago that I'm not "fat" anymore (please excuse the f-word usage here, I mean no offense). I will be 2 years post-op in about 2 months. I've lost 125 lbs. I looked in the bathroom mirror one morning and said, "Holy s**t!! I'm not fat anymore!!". I'm still not entirely happy with how I look, but I think I have a more realistic self-image than I have in quite some time. And yes, every one does go through this. Even the men I've spoken to about it.
Is normal, same happend to me. I still feel weird when people look at me or when guys say stuffs to me (I live in Chile so latinamerican guys tell you stuffs in the streets) With the time you will learn to live with your new body, but it will take you some time
Good luck
All of the above is sooooo true. I look at my driver's license and think who in the world is that woman. I don't know her. On Thanksgiving my daughter in law took a picture of my husband and me. I looked at it and couldn't believe my eyes. Funny thing is...I have a hard time remembering what I use to look like too. I close my eyes and I can't picture me at all anymore. I've never really thought about that until I read these posts ... it's really odd. But I wouldn't go back for anything.
is this a common wls issue?
