[cinnomanbratz]

Lonely but not alone
My struggle seems endless somedays when I have someone so close to me but seems so far.
In the battle I have entered I have no soldier next to me or in front of me to protect me from the war I wage within myself. No night in shining armor, but lots of I don't understand you's and "its not a big deal's" or "you cry to much".

I can't understand this lonely path I've been forced to take as a result of being married, some days it's bliss other days its cold and dark, as the pages continue to turn with no warning of the next chapters twist.

I am lonely but not alone, if only he knew the pain which his coldness brings, the heartache his missed glances gives. He once thought I was beautiful, he once believed I was the only woman on this earth. He once looked and longed for me now I don't know. I have become a monster an ugly monster,on the outside, on the inside I am the same. But outside always out weighs inside.

But I will not be defined, by him and I will not be weighed down by my outer weight. My heart will be strong and I will be me once more, who was never lonely because I had me. I WILL ALWAYS BE ME and I happy for it, I am strong, I am beautiful, I am sexy, I am me and so are you. Take my advice be you always, be you, never lose this.

[liz321]

Very poetic.....tell us more.

Liz

[Leenie]

Hi and

I felt that way once, I have a big family, lots of friends/co workers people around me all the time and I felt alone, so very alone..... What worked for me was finding a church and truly inviting the Lord into my heart... ever since then I have not had that "lonely empty feeling."

Good luck to you and I hope you find what your heart is looking for

Leenie

[Tamarelle]

Someone sent this to me a while ago and I think it speaks very loudly to all of us "sisters". (I don't mean to offend any of the guys out there by posting this.)

'SISTERS'

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and
visiting with her Mother. As they talked about life, about marriage,
about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the
mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a
clear, sober glance upon her daughter. "Don't forget your Sisters," she
advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. "They'll be
more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your
husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are
still going to need Sisters. Remember to go places with them now and
then; do things with them. Remember that 'Sisters' means ALL the
women... your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other women
relatives too. "You'll need other women. Women always do. "

'What a funny piece of advice!' the young woman thought. 'Haven't I just
gotten married? Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a
married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my husband and the
family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!

But she listened to her Mother. She kept contact with her Sisters and
made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after
another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew what
she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their
mysteries upon a woman, Sisters are the mainstays of her life.

After more than 60 years of living in this world, here is what I've
learned:

THIS SAYS IT ALL:
Time passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.
Children grow up.
Jobs come and go.
Love waxes and wanes.
Men don't do what they're supposed to do.
Hearts break.
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors.
Careers end.
BUT........
Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are
between you.

A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her can reach. When you
have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself,
the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on,
praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and
waiting with open arms at the valley's end.

Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you. Or come
in and carry you out. Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters,
daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers,
aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended family, all bless our life!

The world wouldn't be the same without women, and neither would I. When
we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the
incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we
would need each other. Every day, we need each other still.

[KnitALisa]

*Sniff* Tammy, thanks for posting that! It's so very true; I don't have any blood-sisters, but I have a few friends that are everything but.

It really reminds me of my grandmother who is in 86 years old and still is very close with her childhood friends. She's been best friends with one of them since she was 3 years old! Think of that, 83 YEARS of being best friends. Many people don't even live that long.

(As a side note, now this friend wants to set me up with her one of her grandsons. My grandmother is far too into the idea. I now have matchmakers! )

[Tamarelle]

83 years of being best friends - that's amazing! And still trying to be a matchmaker - what a hoot. I hope I'm that active when I reach 86 years of age. I guess that's one more good reason to keep my girlfriends in my life.

[KnitALisa]

I know, it's so funny to be with them. I keep trying to get Miss Conde to tell me wild about my Canky in her youth, but I guess 83 years forges some pretty strong loyalties.

I hope I'm like my Canky too; she's a helluva woman (she served in the Women's Marines, or whatever the devil that thing was called). The women on that side of the family are incredibly long-lived. Most of them live independently well into their 90's. Just another reason to lose the weight and get as healthy as possible!!