[DeafinlySmart]

"You look so much happier these days." That seems like a perfect compliment but to me it feels patronizing. It's not related to my weight loss. I've heard it a bunch of times at various times over the last couple of years. I am bipolar. At first I was like "Thank You" now I so badly want to say "So what was I before? A witch?" I know it is perfectly well meaning but I don't want people to casually comment on now being great because that means they saw right through my depression when maybe I wasn't showing it to them. It also seems to sound like I DID something to make my life better. My life was great all along. I just have mood swings. I can't help that but nor do I want every Tom, Dick and Jane to say something that makes me feel like I was perfectly horrid before. I know it isn't logical. I'm not mad at these people. It just grates on my nerves every time I hear it. I wouldnt mind them saying "You look great" but not "You seem so much happier THESE days".

Anyone else feel that way?

[trishn222]

I know how you feel. I don't think that people really know how to be around and what to say to someone that is loosing weight and depressed. I think that those you love just want to see you succeeding and when they do, they think that you should be happier. So that is their way of saying, you must be doing something right. I know it is a hollow compliment, but hey you know how you feel and you know where you are coming from.

[Misti in Seattle]

Interesting how we can perceive things differently... with my weight loss and glowing complexion, etc., I too get told often how happy I look now... but I do consider it a compliment... but then perhaps because in my case it is true. I HATED being as fat as I was and even hated being seen in public. Now I am still fat but don't feel nearly as uncomfortable as I did. Also, I know people MEAN it in a kind way and to be encouraging, so even if sometimes their words don't always come out right I try to consider their hearts and meaning, and the fact that they are trying to encourage me rather than insult.

[DeafinlySmart]

I had this before weight loss. The gripe wasn't connected to that. I know they are well meaning. I was just wondering if anyone felt that same perception of patronization too while going through the wild ride of depression or bipolar. I find it funny that I feel that way. Logically it doesn't make sense. BTW, thanks for posting. I mostly just needed to vent. It's been hard to learn that I'm bipolar, learn to deal with it all and move to a new city with a new job (and no friends outside of work) while I'm doing it all.