Hi girls! I don't post in this section much, but I read here often, because I can relate to a lot of you girls with the binges and such.
Anyhow, my reason for posting is this: My family has become concerned about me and my eating habits...or rather my exercise habits. I thought they were being silly until I sat back and thought about it, and now I wonder if I am becoming a little too obsessive. I workout twice a day, no matter what...I REFUSE to miss a workout....it's almost like I have to exercise to feel that I have 'earned' the right to eat. Also, and I am so ashamed to admit this, but I forced myself to vomit lastnight....I tried to play it off like I was sick, but I don't think my family bought it. I know it was a stupid thing to do, and I don't plan to do it again, but what really scared me was the feeling of power and control that I got from it....I feel like such a loser for even resorting to that.
Also, if I overeat, I go into my room, shut the door, and do some exercises....just to burn off some of the calories, even if it's just a few. Lastnight, I was up from 3:30am to 5:30am worrying about my weight, and even had to run to the bathroom to weigh myself. At the end of the week, if I haven't lost at least 4lbs, I feel like I have failed. It sounds so silly....I am just so confused...what is wrong with me? Why is it that the number on the scale or what I put into my mouth determines my mood for the day? I was doing so good, but now I wonder if I am going too far, even though I am eating over 1500 calories a day.
Sorry, didn't mean to ramble so much...just want a little input. I'm not thinking that I need professional help, because I really think I can get things under control...I guess I am just wondering if any of you are like this, and how you get back in control. Thanks for any input...please be nice to me.
I"m not a doctor, but I am a nurse. I can't say for sure if you have an ED, but you do sound like you are being obsessive,
I think you should talk to your family about it and see what the best way to go is. You might need some counceling which isn't a bad thing but a very great thing, as you can put all of the "dieting" into prerspective.
I wish you luck and keep us update...
Well, I worked in a counseling center with girls that had EDs. Sometimes its starts out as a compulsive behavior, and then an obsession. Theyve admitted that, at times, they either ate "too much" according to their standards or "didn't lose enough" weight, they would become even more persistent and then take more drastic measures. They would feel like theyve failed if their goals weren't met. And one thing I must say for sure, is that almost everyone girl in the counseling center diagnosed with an ED didn't care for their health. Are you still dieting for weight loss or for health? Commonly, most healthy dieters do not let it become an ED. If you are mainly concerned with weight loss and youre constantly thinking of food and weight, you might want to talk to a specialist, just to get it out of your system.
I am not a medical specialist. Do consult your doctor if you feel the need/desire to.
I agree; you've got to consult a doctor for any kind of definitive diagnosis/treatment. But I would say if at any time you or your loved ones feel your behavior may be unhealthy, it probably is. This lifestyle change takes a lot of thought and effort, but when it becomes an obsession it becomes a problem. Good luck hun!
Well, I would say the point a diet becomes an ED is when something you are doing is physically or psychologically unhealthy. I would consider your situation dangerously bordering on a full blown eating disorder. Especially since you purged. If you are COMPULSIVELY exercising, it is considered exercise bulimia.
Forget that feeling of control after you purged . . . it's a nasty trick your psyche is playing on you. You are in no control if you are throwing up. NEVER EVER EVER EVER throw up again. It's the most difficult habit to break. And it's one that can kill you. It's just not worth it.
I'm telling you . . . stop it now or be like me: still fighting after almost 8 years. I'm way too far gone to be able to fully get back in control. Once the you are in the clutches of an eating disorder, it is nearly impossible to recover on your own. I know I can't recover without professional help. If you feel you can stop it before you truly lose control, it's a sign that you haven't fallen in too far.
At what point does a 'diet' become an ED?
I know it was a stupid thing to do, and I don't plan to do it again, but what really scared me was the feeling of power and control that I got from it....I feel like such a loser for even resorting to that.
