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Old 05-24-2006, 08:43 PM   #1  
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Default A 3 day binge... didn't think it was possible

It's **** week at my design college. We're scrambling to finish up the huge projects by next Friday. I spent the last two nights in my studio. I was good on Monday. I knew I was going to be moving out of my apartment for the summer, so I didn't feel guilty about bringing all of my healthy food.

But as my friends and I went from our studio to an evening film class across campus, I forgot my dinner in our studio. We went fastfooding. I thought "hey, I've been good all day... I deserve a spicy chicken sandwich" I didn't get mayo or anything, and intended on taking off the bun, so that my splurge wouldn't do much damage. I ended up waiting 5 minutes for my sandwich, and as an "I'm sorry" they threw in some french fries. They couldn't have done anything worse for me.

I'm an all-or-nothing thinker. The day was done, so I had the whole sandwich, and all the fries. That night, I slept in studio, and had no food to hold me through the long night. I had a lot of junk food (cereal, candy bars, the works). I let myself continue through the day on Tuesday. I didn't even let myself get hungry, I was snacking so much. I spent the night in studio again Tuesday night. My friend left Pringles on her desk, and I ate the whole can without asking her, and she was baffled today when she found out. I was so embarassed and tried to joke about it and told her I'd buy her another... but I couldn't believe myself.

I got on the scale today, and saw a number that I expected, but it was somehow unexpected just the same. As if I was going to get by with my binges? Today, I wasn't hungry and didn't eat much, and when i came home for dinner, I had a good tuna sandwich and low calorie yogurt. Followed by the rest of the tuna... followed by cereal... followed by ramen... followed by two granola bars... and an apple.... I feel disgusting, but all I want to do is eat more. ahhhhh! What do I do?

Ugh... I know what I need to do, but I just needed to vent. I know it will be a LOT easier once we're done with **** week and I get back to a less stressful life. But I can't help but think i'd be LESS stressed if i wasn't gaining weight on top of having to do all these projects.

Why can't we train our bodies to remember the non-stress of controlling our eating rather than the momentary stress relief of eating?
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Old 05-24-2006, 09:04 PM   #2  
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I'm an all or nothing thinker too, so I've had the same problem too. It's a hard habit/trait to change, I know. I have avoided similar problems by always carrying a small stash of healthy food in my purse & in my car. I also bought a small fast food calorie counter & drag that around in my car too. Eating out is hard- especially when you're confronted with a favorite unhealthy food. Don't beat yourself up too much. Just begin again. Easier said than done I know.
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Old 05-24-2006, 09:08 PM   #3  
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Just looking through your Fitday, I saw many days below 1000 calories. It is just my experience, but more I restricted, the more I would binge. The body cries out for the food it needs. I would restrict, binge, feel badly about binging, restrict even more, binge even more. Just an ugly cycle I am always sad to see anyone else suffering with.

Don't beat yourself up for what happened, just take care of yourself. Make sure you are eating enough to get the nutrition you need to stay healthy.

You eat a lot of low cal stuff - apples, low cal yogurt, tuna. Maybe try eating more satisfying foods? Cook with olive oil, add a little avocado to sandwiches, whole grains, lean protein, natural peanut butter. I had great success with non-binging weight loss when I switched my focus from low-cal/low fat foods to whole foods. It pretty much stopped my binging, which I find a miracle.
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Old 05-24-2006, 10:02 PM   #4  
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Oh yes, It is possible...I have been there MANY times...like tonight, last night and the night before I find that if I don't eat a healthy breaky I tend to binge.

Stress of "finals" always got me too! no matter now hard I tried (munching carrots etc instead of junk) I still wound up with a chip bag in my hand!!! for some reason the salt and fat are "comforting" even though we know (and say it to our selves with every bite) that its doing us no good~and yet...??

hang in there!
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Old 05-24-2006, 11:20 PM   #5  
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Haha, my fitday is very, very old. My last entries were about a month ago. Anything that's below 700 calories were days that I didn't enter everything I ate (usually ended up being high calorie days... if I don't put the food in FitDay, it's like I never ate it, right? :-D)

But yeah, I'm really afraid that I might have gone about losing too quickly, although I lost 15 pounds in 12 weeks. Days like these just make me think I didn't make any real life changes; that they were only temporary, and I don't know what to do to keep myself in the "life changes" realm instead of the "temporary diet" realm.

Boo. I have to go work on homework, but thanks for the support, y'all... All or nothing is never a good outlook to have, and it's good to know others have the same problem. Well, not good that others have the same problem, just knowing I'm not alone.
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Old 05-24-2006, 11:38 PM   #6  
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I just wanted to tell you that I used to be an all or nothing thinker, but I'm really not anymore. I can have a bad day, or meal and move on now. I don't know what changed- or if I just got so tired of myself for thinking that way- because it really is wrong, lol. Just know you can change it! Good luck
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Old 05-25-2006, 12:17 AM   #7  
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The same thing is happening to me right now.....I think it's my TOM though. I cant stop eatting..I feel so gross today. UGH! Why do we do this to our selves? We both just need to pick back up tomorrow. Good luck! You can do it.
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Old 05-26-2006, 06:01 PM   #8  
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Okay, I'm finally getting myself back together. After two days of healthy eating, I'm remembering why those bad foods weren't worth it and I feel SO much better. The junk didn't even taste that good and made my stomach hurt. It's almost like I'm quitting an addiction like smoking - I know it's bad and I don't really WANT to do it, but I'm addicted to the feeling of it.

I know there's other ways to get that high - to feel less stressed - but I'm still in the process of figuring out my way of dealing with stress.

Thank you all for the support!!
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Old 05-26-2006, 08:30 PM   #9  
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Good job, Ashlibelle! Keep up the good work.
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