Still feeling the 4th step
I'm continuing to experience the honesty of facing my secrets. I'm finally open to admitting them and needing recovery from them. It's both a relief and scary at the same time. I'm meeting with my sponsor on Thursday to do my 5th step. I'm feeling uncertainty about giving her my 4th step inventory. I fear that she will be disgusted by me, judge me, and no longer want to associate with me. Logically, I know that this is just plain fear--the same fear that prevents me from taking other positive steps to help myself. But, it's fear nonetheless.
I'm elated by the idea of being free from shame and guilt that has worn me down for so many years. But that fear keeps butting in.
I will be glad when it's over, and fear will no longer be able to strangle me...at least with this specific step.
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