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Old 04-19-2006, 02:46 PM   #1  
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Default Help! Going on date tonight and feeling self-concious!!!

Hi wonderful ladies.. OMG its almost 3pm and Im meeting this guy who I met at a bar a few weeks ago for the first time since then. We've been talking on the phone a bit and had some good conversations and now he is coming over tonight to hang out! And my nerves are getting the best of me..

I have been excercising diligently in anticipation for this night but I still feel, when I looked in the mirror, totally embarassed by how I look. Even though I do a boot camp training, run do all these things that I SHOULD be looking more in shape but it looks horrible.. I even went tanning (I know!! bad!) so I could somehow make my body look alittle more appealing.. I just dont understand why he would even want to touch me, when I look like this!?? Or maybe he has sort of forgotten or made me out to be this better looking girl than I am and he'll be all disapointed (but nice Im sure) when he sees me..

Im sure ALL of you have said this at one point or another.. If only I were slim.... life would be so easy..

and I know it wouldnt be,, but for now, this is the ONLY thing that is making me feel like I should just cancel. Its just too much maybe right now!! But Im sooo ready to have someone in my life,. I havent had someone I actually like in my life for a while. I always settle for the ones Im not that attracted to and dont get hit on alot, because its easier than actually trying to get the attention of the ones that I do like. but now its happening.. I have his attention.. and Im scared shitless!!!

I think what I need right now is just some, 'support', shared stories,to hear that having bigger thighs, a belly that hangs over my undies is not reason to hide, and he probably likes me for.. me?! I guess Ive answered my own question,.. I just wish I could feel good about myself...
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Old 04-19-2006, 02:59 PM   #2  
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One thing – guys like girls who are confident! If you are worrying about all those things he is going to sense it and shy away. You are beautiful you know you are and let it show!

Another thing is… not all guys like skinny girls. Some guys are turned off by it – so don’t worry about being a little thinner – he obviously likes you for you are are - or he wouldn’t have agreed to the date in the first place.

I have been over weight my whole life and never had a problem getting a guys attention and the guys attentions I can’t get are the ones I don’t want to date. If they don’t like me because I am fat I wouldn’t want to date them even if I were skinny. That is how I have always thought of it and that is how I always will.

My boyfriend now loves me, he doesn’t care that my tights rub together or that my tummy hangs over my pants… he doesn’t even notice. And I know he doesn’t say that to make me feel good because he is a VERY honest boy (too honest in fact).

So if this guy is turned off because you have some nice curves then he wasn’t the right guy in the first place.

“You are beautiful inside and out.”
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/hilar...rstrength.html
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Old 04-19-2006, 02:59 PM   #3  
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Hey you... if this guy wasn't interested, he wouldn't be coming to your house.

(had to bold that last statement!)

Just relax, be yourself and let him like you for who you are. If he doesn't like you for who you are, he's not worth it to begin with.

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Old 04-19-2006, 03:01 PM   #4  
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And like "sotypical" said (do you have a name??? lol!) be confident. Let your confidence radiate through the house so much it will blind him.

Be relaxed, act interested in what he has to say and you know the old saying - my God, whatever you do or DON'T do, laugh at his jokes!

lol!
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Old 04-19-2006, 03:04 PM   #5  
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There we go! I do now! It's Courtnie
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Old 04-19-2006, 03:06 PM   #6  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sotypical
There we go! I do now! It's Courtnie
Very pretty name

She's gonna be alright with this date, I know she will.

It's funny, I sorta envy her. I've been with the same guy for almost 16 years and sometimes I miss the dating and the excitement of a new guy and all. Not that I don't love my big baby, but new guys are fun
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Old 04-19-2006, 03:07 PM   #7  
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Yeah Mukisa, just go and find out! He has seen you, and the way you look obviously didnt "rule you out", in fact he decided to pursue you. Even if things dont work out for whatever reason, you'll probably have fun and he will make you feel good and girly and all that fun date stuff.

I think that if you didnt go, you would regret it later... "what if?"s suck.
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Old 04-19-2006, 03:08 PM   #8  
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Thanks

I agree I have been with my man a year and a half and I love to a million pieces but I love the feeling of a new relationship! It is always so exciting when you start dating someone new!
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Old 04-19-2006, 03:28 PM   #9  
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I totally agree with Courtnie. Not all guys like skinny girls. My hubby is a perfect example.
I can tell you that although I've known my hubby for over 15 years our relationship started off as a great friendship. He tells me to this day that my confidence, my humor and my ability to listen is what attracted him to me. Even now after 10.5 years of being married he often tells me to worry less about what I look like and just be yourself. It's funny because when I worry less about what people think of my looks I have a lot better time.

So please don't cancel. Take this as a opportunity to enjoy yourself. Be who you are and if he doesn't like it then its not meant to be.

Have a Great evening and be sure to let us know how things went.

Leec
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Old 04-19-2006, 03:39 PM   #10  
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This all makes sense to me too!! And I am (well on the surface) a person who has confident qualitities, and can look like Im having a good time, but I just think about how when thin girls go on dates, it doesnt seem like they have to try as hard.. Like , they can just be there, and they still get guys... I have to , it seems jump through hoops, try to find an outfit thats flattering, think about how I will look to him, and worry myself sick..

this is helping though, thank you.. I dont even really have a plan of what to do, I was thinking going for a walk down by the waterfront.. something where I won't be always trying to sit in a way that hides my body! At least there he can see how fit I am by moving and walking!

It doesnt help either that he is like 140 tops, and I weigh in at about 150 adn Im 5'3"! I hate when guys are smaller than me, just looks wrong all over..

Why is it , that MY body is the type thats considered 'not ideal' or borderline obese according to those horrible BMI charts.. I am so friggin' fit, I can run up to 8km's if I push myself and can keep up with the guys in my boot camp class. So why am I considered the bad one? With no will power? That is looked down apon for wanting to wear clothes that 'thin' people wear..

Speaking of, damn I have nothing to wear tonight....

When I get home from work,Im going to put on some upbeat music, tidy up, have a nice long shower, and get into the mood.. and forget about what I look like.. if only for one night!!!

I love this forum, its unconditional love!!
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Old 04-19-2006, 04:05 PM   #11  
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Hi Mukisa! We are similar in body shape. I know JUST how you feel. I am very fit too. I remember being so upset and insulted when I was out with my cousin and we had to run to see something fun that was going on, and he was so surprised that I could run a whole block or two. I was so insulted... I mean, do I really look that grossly bloblike? I am so fit. It took 0 effort to jog a block or two I mean cmon, I do step aerobics! :O(

I think your walk idea is GREAT.
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Old 04-19-2006, 04:45 PM   #12  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LLV
Hey you... if this guy wasn't interested, he wouldn't be coming to your house.

(had to bold that last statement!)

Just relax, be yourself and let him like you for who you are. If he doesn't like you for who you are, he's not worth it to begin with.


Had to repeat to make sure you saw this. Have fun!
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Old 04-19-2006, 06:12 PM   #13  
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Hope she did

Mukisa, please let us know how your date went. I, for one, am dying to know!
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Old 04-19-2006, 06:41 PM   #14  
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Me too!!
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Old 04-19-2006, 07:23 PM   #15  
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Hope it's going well!

I've heard guys make comments that they like a little bit of a belly, that too skinny is unattractive. And I've seen a lot of good looking guys date heavy women. You're valuable just the way you are!

OK, now tell us how your date was...
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