Depression and Weight IssuesHave you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!
Okay, so I don't usually share my issues with anyone but you guys. I do that because I have been burned in the past by revealing too much of myself. Will I ever learn my lesson?
You know I homeschool my kids. Well, we are part of a homeschool group that gets together for field trips, etc. One thing we do is have a book report lunch once a month at a pizza place. I posted a note saying we could not make it. I knew I wasn't up too it, with the depressive episode, and my kids didn't have anything prepared.
The leader of the group, someone I have some to know over the past few months, asked if everything was okay. We have talked about certain things, religion, etc., and I felt we were becoming close. So I sent her a private email, telling her about the depression, bipolar, etc. She starts out her reply with,"OK, I know I shouldn't preach, but..." If you have to start with that, then DON"T F*ING SAY ANYTHING!!!! She asked wouldn't I feel worse if I didn't go, she understands getting stressed, and wanting to stay in your little cave, but this is a good opportunity for the kids. My LITTLE CAVE!!! STRESSED!!! Lady, you have NO idea! People freakin assume that we are not really ill, just lazy, stressed, whatever. I hate that!
Anyway, I was already very weepy, so it started my really bawling. I haven't responded to her. There is no way to make those kind of people understand. But it sure feels bad when opening up gets you shot down. I just needed to vent here, knowing this is one safe place I can come. I'll try to come up with an appropriate response for her.
Marcie- I'm so sorry honey! I've had the same thing happen with "people" and I know it does hurt esp. if you're already in a depressed state. Even my DH doesn't understand and he has done the reading and research so that he can try to help me. (But at least he admits he doesn't understand.) I've even had someone (that I thought was a friend) who also suffered from bi-polar disorder tell me that I just need to suck it up and get over it when I was depressed. Of course she self medicated using marijuana like 5-10 times a day and that isn't an exaggeration. She said that using the stuff was the only way she could cope. Anyway, we are here for you honey. And no most people don't understand unless they've been there and even some who've been there are still judgemental and uncaring. You are right to guard your feelings and personal info with people, just remember that not everyone is an a$$. I have met a few really supportive people who made it a point to educate themselves on depression and bipolar disorder when I told them I suffered from it because they wanted to understand and be there for me. But before I told them I had given their trust a trial run with other "smaller" things and I had also let them open up to me about their problems first so that I knew there was a good communication level. People are people and that isn't going to change. I look at it like picking out fruit or veggies at the store. Sometimes you have to dig through a whole lotta crappy ones just to find 2 good ones. Hang in there honey. I do understand and so do alot of others on here, and anytime you need us we're here.
I am so sorry you are going through this and the LAST thing you need is someone coming down on you. Wow, for someone who is supposed to be a leader to talk to you like this is certainly inappropriate. She certainly could not be classed as a friend; unfortunately, sometimes we do have to find out those things the hard way. But there ARE people who care, and we are among them!
Hang in and don't let the turkeys get you down!!! We are here for you.
I'm glad your feeling better today. Mostly I'm glad you saw early on that, that woman is NOT a friend, sheeeeeeeeeesh what a uninformed *B* she is. Sounds like she needs to crawl back under the rock she came from.
You hang in there baby, and keep searching for people who will lift you up in spirit, and not crush it.
Yeesh! There are too many ignorant people out there. If not ignorant, then insensitive. As if we don't already have enough to deal with.
Marciet, nobody here would ever judge you...so spill thy guts away!
I can almost relate to your situation. I had many school-related things to deal with, like withdrawing from my courses before I get five F's on my transcript. But I didn't even have the will to do that, and when I told my closest friends what happened, they questioned me, talked at me, judged me, criticized me. Wtf?!
I had another thought about this woman who opened her mouth and inserted her foot!
I wonder if she has no idea what true depression means! Perhaps she thinks that it is just feeling "blue" for a day or two! Don't bother trying to educate her. Just forgive her and find peple who will understand.
Also realize that many people have their own problems-marriage, work, children-and they sometimes just don't have the energy to focus on the problems of others.
Depression is one of those things that if you haven't suffered through it then you can't really understand. I suffer from something similar in that people do not understand. I get migraine headaches and when I have a migraine I cannot function. Today I had a really bad one going and I had to call in sick to work and it took me 5 tries to get the phone number right and then when I did get someone I'm certain I sounded like a babbling idiot because I couldn't think straight enough. Yet there is a lot of misconception out there about migraines and that it is just a headache. Well it's like a headache where someone is stabbing me though the eye with a knife. Anyway just to demonstrate that you can't know what someone is going through til you've walked a mile in their shoes. My advice would be to just ignore this person, you don't owe her a response. You are doing a great job with home schooling your kids and don't let anyone tell you differently.
Yah here is another hug from me too! I've struggled with serious depression in the past and know what a "black hole" it can be. I'm praying for you, Marcie!!
Thank you, everyone. Jen, I get migraines, too. I also had one this morning, had to call to cancel my therapy appt, left a message. I think I forgot to leave my name! It just hurt so much, I wasn't sure what I said. So I can definately relate there, too.
I did decide to just let it go, not try to make her understand. If they won't, they won't, and trying to change that will just be frustrating.
hi there! glad you're feeling better marcie. i've had similar experiences. i sort of let myself in for them tho. i was in a doco about mental illness and honestly the reactions were amazing. total strangers said lovely things and contacted me blah blah
but people who were friends and associates said bizarre things. some congratulated me on getting on tv - which was not the point of it!!! some avoided me. and others talked about how mad the bipolar people they knew were and things like how they had to fire a guy at work because he was bipolar and isn't it lucky i'm not like that!!! i mean HELLO i went on the doco to talk about bipolar but they just assumed stuff about me.
so bottom line is there are stereotypes of all descriptions. not just about depression and bipolar. we have stereotypes about politicians (can't be trusted), different ethnic groups etc and there's no point trying to change other people.
So upset...
