Lately I've been practicing how to pass up goodies presented to me without offending the person making the offer. In the old days, I would politely sample one (or more) of goodies passed around at parties or gatherings. If the offerer was someone I knew, I'd often sample things I don't even like, just so as to not hurt their feelings. I would even take samples offered at the supermarket if the lady was standing right there cooking it.
Guess you could call me a people-pleaser.
But all those tastes and samples add up. I really don't need to have them (even though, every now and then, it's a nice little treat).
So, I started practicing in the supermarket (another place to practice is in the mall, when you're accosted by the cell phone sellers on the kiosks). When offered a sample, I say politely but firmly, "No."
Not "No, thank you", just "No". Then I
immediately smile and say "Thank you, I'm all set", to soften it up. I'll often throw a follow-up "Thank you" and smile in there.
It's amazing how that little shift in emphasis makes such a big difference, at least to me.
Last night, I got to put it to a real test. I was at a meeting and there was the typical table laden with home baked goodies (brownies, cookies and cakes, oh my!). The table was manned by someone I know, so it wasn't a stranger. As I passed by, she smiled, waved her hand proudly over the display and said, "Ooooo help yourself to some goodies!!!"
Without even thinking, I said, "No. (smile) Thank you, I'm all set (smile)".
She didn't look offended and I honestly don't think she was! She just chirped, "Ok!"
It was so easy! And I felt so in control! Ahhhh much better!