This Wednesday I will complete 6 successfull cheat-free weeks on South Beach. And although the scale victories have been minimal, I'm motivated more than ever to stick to it this time.
My room mate though is giving me a hard time. For the past 3 and a half years she's seen me struggle with weight loss, and now that I'm actually determined to follow through no matter what, she's trying to tempt me to cheat.
Whenever she eats cookies or chips or whatever junk I'm cutting on, not only does she offer me some but mmmms while eating and goes on and on about how yummy they are!
I have told her several times to stop but she doesn't listen. Up until now I haven't given up, but I'm worried when my will power fizzles I might just give in to the temptation.
Help!
hi bornconfuzed. Don't give in! Your doing so good...a whole 22 pounds lost! She can eat those cookies and chips all she wants...let her mmmm and ahhhh all she wants. She is only harming herself by putting all that junk food in her body. you can't allow her actions to affect you. I know it's hard because it sounds as though she is not very supportive of you. What I've noticed when I've tried to lose weight before and have had people in my life like this, is that they think it's funny. They have fun seeing you in misery. You are not her toy that she can just play with whenever she gets bored. I don't know why she is doing this, I don't know her. But I would get mad if someone were doing that to me. I think that the longer you withstand this torture of hers and don't give in that ..after a while she will get bored with it and quit. The more she sees that you aren't going to give in and it doesn't affect you, the more she will lay off I think. I hope so anyways. She has seen your struggle with your weight and I would think that she would be doing everything she can to support you for you to be healthy. Maybe she is jealous. I don't know the reason exactly ..all I can say is that if you give in she will think she has gotten away with it and you can't allow it to happen. If talking to her and explaining to her how important this is to you doesn't help, then just keep on disregarding her and maybe she will get bored of the game. Maybe when she does this, get out and take a walk, go read a book, anything to not fall into her trap. Every time you disregard her and you push through the temptation and you get through it you will feel just that much better about yourself...it will make you stronger. It's just sad that someone that you have lived with for that long and has seen you struggle as much as you have won't support you a little better. I'm so sorry. I do hope that you don't give in..and by not giving in you will show her that you are serious and that her actions will not make you cave. sorry if I keep going on..but this just makes me mad to see..especially since you have done so well.
UGH don't you hate that! My mother-in-law does that to me, she bakes all these pies & cookies & sends them home! Drives me crazy -- when she leaves I toss it all.
Doing that to a person trying to diet is like trying to pull the chair out from under a person trying to sit down!
If she refuses to listen to you I see you have two choices: proactive and reactive.
Proactive:
Do the same thing to her whenever you eat anything. Tell her how good your food is and how much she is missing out. She will either get tired of hearing you do this so she will stop, or she will think you are having great fun on your diet and want to join you.
Reactive (pick one):
1. Tell her you can't live with someone who is unable to respect you and throw her out!
2. Pick something that she tries to do on a daily basis and show her what it feels like. Pick something different everyday so she can not try to counter what you are doing. For example, whenever she tries to sit down, move her chair OR whenever she trys to put on makeup laugh hysterically or just shake your head saying "just keep trying, you'll get it right someday." The point is to show her what it is like to have your confidence in yourself and in your roomate totally shaken.
3. Make "Ex-lax" brownies or cookies for her because you "know how much she loves sweets."
4. The next time she does that, tell her that you are concerned about her mental health because you have repeatedly discussed with her how she makes you feel and she either a) doesn't understand, b) doesn't remember having the conversation, or c) is purposefully choosing to to act in a hateful and spitefull manner toward you. Offer to help her make an appointment with a psychiatrist and even drive her there if necessary.
5. Just come out and ask her what her problem is. Is she afraid that you will be the pretty one? Is she afraid of diets in general? Does she want you to move out? What?
If she tells you whatever you are doing isn't funny, let her know that it isn't funny when she does what she is doing.
hi confuzed. if she keeps eating all that junk she will be dieting also and you can return the favor. i like the exlax idea. she could serve at bedtime and she'll be up all night. glen
Is your roommate a bigger girl? If she is, maybe she's sabataging you because you're losing and doing an amazing job and she's jealous because she isn't. Or even if she doesn't have any weight to lose, maybe she's jealous that you're actively improving yourself and taking control of your life and she's... still addicted to cookies. My advice is to keep telling her how rude it is and how it makes you feel, and if she decides to still be mean then at least she'll have to shut up when she sees how great you look and she's put on more weight from the food she's trying to tempt you with!
Kill her I have a good place to put the body right next to my hubby.....lol
He is forever telling me to bring something home from the store that is sweet. I never do it....lol just to make him mad...lol
you have already lost 22lbs that a small child if you think of it...Keep going you got this...just tell her to buzz off and get a life...or a b/f lol
I have told her several times to stop but she doesn't listen. Up until now I haven't given up, but I'm worried when my will power fizzles I might just give in to the temptation.
Help!
Don't give in, that's what she WANTS you to do. The best way to get back at her is to just ignore her and show her that her taunts aren't going to work.
In fact, when she does that, secretly laugh at her. She's the one harming herself, not you.
Next time she does that, flex your arm muscles, run your hand along your biceps and say "mmmm . . . this feels so good. I can't believe how yummy it feels to be doing good things for my body."
Hopefully that will get her to think twice about what she is doing. However, if she doesn't respect you, it may be time to look for a new roommate.
I agree with kate. If she's a bigger girl, it sounds like jealousy rearing its ugly head. Even if she's not overweight, maybe she's having other problems with her life and is jealous of the fact that you're doing something good and the results prove it (good job on 22 lbs gone!). If talking with her won't help, I'd just do my best to ignore the mmmms. Maybe you could mmmm everytime you get on the scale and see the numbers go down! :: Or you could be mean and throw all the junk food out and play innocent ::evil laugh::
I so agree with everyone here..I just keep coming back to this post because it makes me so mad to hear what she is doing to you. Your roomate is toxic for you and you have to treat her that way...she is just as bad as a big human sized chocolate cake laying in the middle of your room. It's like she is trying to feed you drugs..like a drug addict would. Misery loves company..at least that's what I heard. She wants you to be as miserable as she is. I don't know what is going on in her life for her to be like that..but weather she is a big person or not..she either has no clue as to what she is doing because she is clueless about how to support someone when they are losing weight..or she is so miserable in her own life and what is going on inside her that she doesn't want anyone else to be happy. I'm sorry..I just get so mad to hear how she is acting towards you. You need good support. I'm glad you were able to come here to find it.
When she's going "mmmm these chips are sooooo good." You say in response, "mmmm 22 lbs gone forever.... it feels sooo much better than those chips could ever taste!" That way you've affirmed OUTLOUD that you will not cheat. Plus, she hears it.
I had a roomate who was kind of the same way to me. She would laugh at me because I had "health" food in the fridge and didn't drink soda. She would make fun of me whenever I went to go exercise or she would poke my belly and laugh at me for trying to "be skinny," She is larger than me and was larger than me and I really think it was jealousy on her part.
I can't stand roomates like that!
If you can try to get another roomate or take advice from some of the posters on here. I particularly like the Ex-Lax brownie idea.
I agree with the comment that it's like a druggie, trying to get you to stay down there with her. Next time she offers you something, picture it covered in mold and maggots!
I hate when people do that. Bleh! At the same time, remembering that you're in control and they're not makes a HUGE difference. A couple tips I've done in that type of situation:
1. Remember what it is that they're putting in their mouth -- it might taste good, but that doesn't mean it's good for you! Mentioning some of the more icky ingredients might be a way to turn her off of the commentary as well...let's take Oreo's as an example..
"Mmmmm, look at these awesome cookies, they're so yummy! Want some?"
"Ugh, did you know that the creamy filling for Oreo's is pretty much straight LARD mixed with sugar to make it taste sweet? That's nasty! No, feel free to eat them all yourself, I'll sit here and enjoy my green seedless grapes, thanks. "
2. Have a backup plan so you're not in a situation where you're likely to give in to temptation just because it's there. If you're craving something sweet, fruit or even the 100-cal packs are better than what she's offering, especially for your self-confidence.
3. I don't know that I agree with letting her know how much it's bothering you -- I'm stubborn though, and more likley to not want someone to know that something they're doing is actually affecting me. It really depends on your relationship with her -- if you think she's intentionally trying to get your goat, do you want to let her know that she succeeded? If you think she doesn't actually realize that it's bothering you, then it might not be a bad idea to sit down and let her know.
My roommate is trying to sabotage my diet!
Is she HIGH or jsut EVIL?
glen
: Or you could be mean and throw all the junk food out and play innocent ::evil laugh::
