[Moore2lose]

I have been doing so great, really sticking to thing this time. I have never been mush of an emotional eater but when I get stress I tend to give up.
Well last week my mother had reconstuctive arm surgery and needed help at home. I have no problem wanting to help but being there is really too stressfull.
let me tell you why:
1) my dad is divorsing my mom but they still live together
2) ist a 2 bredroom apt and 5 people live there. ( now me and my 2 kids are there too)
3)I have 2 mentally challenged brothers there ages 24 & 14
4) my kids hate being there not a safe place for a 1 yo
5) Their eating habits are junk food, grazing and no meal times.
6) I get no exersice sence I cant even go for a walk (no one to watch kids) and no room in the place to move

I tryed to do my best I counted my calories but that only worked till I stressed out. Sence candy is laying around every where and the cuboards are filled with food I don't eat, I gave in. For pretty much a week it was pasta for lunches and dinner and candies inbetween.

This whole stiuation was put on me so last minute I wasn't even home (was at in-laws) When I was Ask to stay with my mother sence we live 48 miles from my parents and the in-laws live just 20 miles from them my husband just droped us off with the cloths on our back & not enough diapers.

I finally said NO and ask my husband to come pick me up after 5 days I could no longer put myself or my children through this. I of course was given the guilt trick for abanding my family. Now I am stressed about that being the people pleaser that I am.

I have gained 6 lb in one week and lost all will power to diet any more I fear I will get back to dieting and losing then I will have another situaltion like this to deal with.

Sorry to vent and rant on but I need the help to stay on this diet.

[Less of Lena]

To be honest, I think you've already done quite a lot. You pitched in right at the start, when I'm guessing things were the toughest. It's been a week now, and I'm sure she (mom) has settled in a bit and gotten at least a little used to what she can and can't do with the arm.

You said there were 5 people in the apartment. Your brothers are mentally challenged, but can they help out at all? What about dad? If he's there, he should be able to help, pending divorce or not. Do you have other siblings who can pitch in? How about neighbors?

You have a 1-year-old and another child to consider. If the place is not safe for them (especially a toddler), you simply can't stay any longer. You are a parent. As much as we we want to help our own parents out when they need it, as parents, our primary concern has to be to our own minor children. Regardless of any guilt trips the older generation may try to lay on you, you'll need to be strong and remember all of your responsibilities.

One of your responsibilities is to make sure your own children are safe. Another of your responsibilities is to make sure you take care of those children's mom (you!). If you can't take care of you, it'll be that much more difficult trying to take care of them.

You've done a wonderful job under very trying circumstances. I'm sure it had to be very stressful. I don't think you've lost the "will to diet" at all. If you had, you wouldn't have posted here. You'd have just quit.

You're going to make it, dear. Scrape together every bit of "I can do it!" you can muster up, cut yourself some slack for not being "perfectly on program" while in the midst of trying to help out with mom and then let it go. You can get back on track. I get the impression you really want to, and wanting to do it is a big part of the program.

[la3y_un1c0rn_37]

Dont give up yet!!!!!
and remeber TAKE CARE OF YOU

With out you where would everyone else be?

[madscientist]

You sound like you need some hugs!

Well, it's only 6lbs. Trust me, I have gained and lost about a thousand pounds in my life and I've always had times where I gained weight, even with my best effort. Because trust me, life isn't going to stop happening to you. Stressful things come up, stuff happens. We react. Some people get drunk, some people chain smoke, some people hide and some people eat.

I think its important you stop, breathe, relax, accept that you gained the weight. It's there, and that's all there is to it. Cause and effect. It does NOT reflect on your character or mean you failed or mean you're a bad person in any way. It means you overate and your body kept the excess calories the way our bodies are designed to. Think of it as simple biology if that helps remove the personal stigma.

Being an emotional eater myself, I would suggest you think of better coping techniques for life stress. Make a list of all the things that would make you feel nurtured the way food does, and what will get you away from those cabinets calling your name. Daily affirmations are also a good idea. When your life isn't so stressful, practice those techniques that way when something comes up, you'll have one or more coping skills to rely on. I don't know how much in-person support you have, but maybe consider joining a weight loss support group in your area. There are groups of people who just started their own with others, and are not an official group. I find those to be the best. You can usually find them through Craigslist. If you don't see any, post an ad asking for one. Who knows, maybe some people will email you wanting to start up a group.

I just really want to say that this is okay. It's okay to have slip-ups, this is not a all-or-nothing game where there's winners and losers. There's just you and your journey. This probably isn't your first, and it won't be your last slip-up resulting in a gain. That doesn't give you permission to slip up when you feel like it ("I'm going to gain anyway so why bother!" mentality), but it does give you permission to go easy on yourself when you're in a situation and do. Beating yourself up only makes it that much harder to get right back on the horse.

Take care of yourself and consider maybe starting back on your diet slowly and reintroduce yourself with your healthy lifestyle. It's still there, trust me.

[amyz]

Sorry to here about all of your trials latley. but I truly agree with the other ladies here today. I don't think your giving up. Tomorrow is a new day. And that really goes for us all. We all start everyday out new and we all have those days, moments and weeks where we lose it. I always tell myself "The best way to get yourself out of a hole is to stop diggin" And you posting and getting support is an excellent start. You think of you and your beautiful kids! and know we are all here with you and we will cheer you on through anything. Get right back up on that horse and start where you left off. Those 6 lbs will fly off. Maybe tell dad his duty is not over yet and needs to step up to the plate. It sounds like you already have your hands full. with lots of love pm me anytime amyz

[Moore2lose]

Thank you everyone for your kind words and advise. My husband has really helped me this week getting through things. Letting go of my guilt was one of them. I have gotten back to some exercise and I am back on track with my eating.

Good news is my weight gain was mostly water retentions
and am now back to were I was.