Depression and Weight Issues Have you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!

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Old 01-30-2006, 03:10 PM   #1  
jadedjane
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Default changing the body was the easy part, changing the mind...not so much

I'm pretty new here (have posted a few times in the WW core area). I've been looking through the threads on depression and weight loss hoping to come across something or someone with a similar issuse. Here goes:

Normally I'm the happiest person you'll ever meet, and I'm thrilled with my weight loss (160 pounds), but I don't think I was prepared for the emotional changes the go along with losing so much.

I spent my entire young adulthood in a state of morbid obesity, so I've never seen myself as a "thin" person - EVER. I still can't see myself that way. I'm instictively picking up the 3x clothes or shopping in the plus sizes because that was my only option. My body is fixed but my mind is sill there grabbing the biggest pair of jeans available and hoping they'll fit.

My second issue is that I'm fast approaching "goal" and finding myself sad that this part of my journey is almost over. I really enjoyed feeling that sense of accomplishment when I weighed in and lost weight. I Loved every step of the journey so far, so why now am I sad? I should be ecstatic, but I'm not. I'm finding myself thinking "what do I do now?". I find myself afraid of the next step (maintainence). There are irrational fears of waking up one day and finding out that all the weight came back. (this can be dangerous - I'm well aware of that)

I committed to this lifestyle change, and I'm determined to remain committed. Part of my staying committed means that I need to lose the emotional baggage that came with a decade of morbid obesity. This kind of baggage will bring the weight back if I don't take care of it now.

How do I "break my old mirror" and see myself the way way I am now?
How do I get past my fear of "maintainence"?
Why am I so afraid of shopping for things that actually fit?
Where to I go from here? <---that one's a biggie - reaching goal was my brass ring. I think maybe I need a new ring to reach for.

I'd be interested in hearing from anyone who is close to, or has reached maintainence and has dealt with these feelings before, or anyone might be feeling something similar now. I'm still happy, just a little frightened of the future, and a bit of reassurance might be just what I need.

Thanks in advance,
Jane
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Old 01-30-2006, 04:24 PM   #2  
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Hi Jane,

Congratulations on your weight loss WTG !!!!

I wish I had the magic words for you but I don't. Years ago I had lost 150 lbs and I kept the weight off for over 10 years. One thing I didn't do was work on the "head" issues. I always saw myself as that 300+ lb person. I didn't know how to change it. I also got frustrated b/c I couldn't hit that 130 lb mark that I thought I was supposed to be. With all of this, my will gave in and I started gaining weight thinking...whats the difference. So here I am after gaining 100 lbs back struggling to get it back off...sign. I just wish I knew then what I know now.

Listen to people and soak it in when they say you look good. Don't look at what you haven't accomplished but what you have accomplished... more so, if you feel good than thats whats important.

Have you thought about going to therapy?
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Old 01-30-2006, 04:37 PM   #3  
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I'm joining Leenie in mega-congratulations. She's one smart cookie and has a lot of valuable experience to share.

Jane - please come visit us in the Maintainers Forum. I think we've discussed just about every issue on your list. You'll find threads about body image issues and concerns about maintenance - check out this recent thread: Question about getting to goal. Stop by, read, and post about what's going through your mind and you'll find a whole group of people with similiar issues and concerns.
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Old 01-30-2006, 06:49 PM   #4  
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thanks! Meg I'll definately take a look in the maintainance forum!!. Leenie, I am trying really hard to soak it all in and believe what ppl say when they comment on how great I look. I'm giving therapy some serious consideration, and looking for a support group locally for ppl who have been through such a change (no luck finding one yet)
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Old 01-31-2006, 08:49 AM   #5  
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I'm so glad to hear your looking into support groups. I wish I had people to talk to when I was at goal. Its difficult to go through life being over weight to all of a sudden (for lack of a better word) being normal.

Keep searching and don't ever give up. Meg and the ladies on the maintenance boards are the best !!!

Good luck Jane, and please let us know how your doing.

HUGS !!!
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Old 01-31-2006, 10:53 AM   #6  
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I have this same kind of fear, jadedjane. Even though I haven't even come CLOSE to being where I want to be, my boyfriend tells me that he can see a difference in the way I look, and I just can't accept that. I figure that he's just lying, or that he is just saying that so I'll shut up sort of deal. I was harassed and tortured through high school for being overweight, and I know that even when I get to my goal weight, I'll have this self-consciousness, and I wish that I could just get over this. Even though I'm losing weight and making myself better, I'm always sad. Sad at what I see in the mirror, sad that I'm this way. I cry for no reason, and I know it upsets my boyfriend. I can't afford therapy, and I'm not even on anti-depressants 1) I can't afford them(no insurance), and 2) I don't want to put on weight (one of the side effects). I'm 19 years old, am getting healthier, in college, have a job, and have the BEST boyfriend anyone could ask for! So why am I always sad? It baffles me sometimes.
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Old 01-31-2006, 11:44 AM   #7  
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Hi jadedjane
I just wanted to second Meg's invitation to the Maintainers Forum. Most of us have struggled with these issues, and many of us (me) continue to do so after years at "goal". Take a look at the sticky post "Best of Maintainers"...there are a hodepodge of excellent posts there. I'd also suggest doing a search on some of the posts by funniegrrl on body image. She has gone through a lot of what you seem to be struggling with. Also take a look at the discussions we had last year of the book Thin for Life.

As for what's next? More of the same. Life isn't going to change drastically. What you've been doing to lose the weight is the way you'll need to live to maintain the loss. Goals? Weightloss itself cna't always be the goal. How about new fitness goals, activities, social challenges?

Mel
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Old 01-31-2006, 12:06 PM   #8  
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Sometimes I wonder if such a drastic change leaves me with a hormone imbalance. I find myself crying for no reason too. Oddly enough, excercise has been my greatest outlet. I can get on the machines and sweat my butt off (literally) that some of that sweat pourning down my face is actually tears.

I called a WW buddy of mine (I have a huge support system) and told her very honestly what my fears are. Just saying it outloud kinda helped, but I still think it would be a healthy decision to follow up on leenie's suggestion and talk to a counselor. While I am but 2 or 3 pounds away from what WW is asking me to chose as a goal weight, I'm still wanting to lose just 10 more pounds and quickly losing support from my hubby and friends for any more weight loss. The compliments have shifted from "you look great" to " you're looking kinda thin" and I'm still seeing the 310 pounds when I look in the mirror. I have absolutely NO desire to be "too thin".

I think part of my sadness also comes from losing 90% of my breasts. It's hard to go from a solid "d" cup to an "a" cup. It feels like I have lost part of what makes me the feminine girly-girl I am. It was the only part of my figure I actually liked (even when I was obese) and now it's gone. Egads!! there are just too many issues to cover in one thread - lol.

Bottom line: despite the issues, sadness, and mourning the loss of my *ahem* figure, I know I am much healthier now. That's what really counts and I'll take the (short lived) sadness over the decade of obesity any day. Thank goodness there is a place like 3 fat chicks. I wish I'd have found them sooner!
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Old 01-31-2006, 02:39 PM   #9  
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Kayley, your local hospital should have a clinic where you can go to get meds if you need them (at no cost to you). There are medications that won't make you gain weight, you just need to try them and see what works for you. Prozac and Welbutrin did not make me gain. Sweetie there's no reason for you to suffer..... you have a long beautiful life infront of you, enjoy it to the fullest. Clinics are free to those who have no insurance and can't afford medical care. One of my sisters goes to our local clinic and since she is on the right meds she is so much happier.

Good luck to you !!!!

Jane I hear you on the boobies....sigh. LOL
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Old 01-31-2006, 09:16 PM   #10  
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Jane, I've got to second what everyone has said. Great job on losing the weight. I'm in the same boat as Leenie. I lost 85 pounds and kept it off for 13 years. Then, I just started eating. Inow need to lose 65 pounds again. And it's a bad struggle.

So.... what I wish I had done differently -> gone into counseling to get a better handle on my emotions. I eat out of emotions and I lost the weight based on my emotions. I had just switched where I found satisfaction - from the eating to the losing. When the losing was done - I was lost. So I wish I had done what you're doing right now - looking for help.

You're on the right track. Find someone that can help you change your self image. If you do, you're way ahead of me. I didn't do that part. Good luck!!!!
Marie
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