[inchtwinkle]

my best friend is getting married on sat (10th sep) and last night it was the wedding rehersal, on the way walking back from the church one of her other friens from work, was talking about going to the gym, to which my wonderful best mate said, "you should join jo she's lost a stone in 2 weeks and 2 dress sizes", i felt so proud of myself then whamm, this woman turned around and said, "how big were you before then" and i said i was a size 22 to which she replied "OH MY GOD A SIZE 22 I WOULD HAVE KILLED MYSELF IF I WAS THAT BIG" all of the hard effort and the struggle i had done to lose 1 stone she crushed in 1 sentence, i was heart broken, i acted as if it was nothing and that i could rise abovewhat she said, but my god i cried myself to sleep last night, i felt so low when i came home i didn't even eat, WHY ARE SOME PEOPLE LIKE THAT, WHAY DO THEYHAVE TO OPEN THEIR MOUTHS AND HURT OTHERS?

[sleepybear]

My mother in law is the same way. she always puts me down because of my weight. I just smile now. she was bigger than me but had g.bypass surgery. sure she lost a lot of weight but it was so fast that now she has lots of sagging skin. she also is sick all the time.
Me I will take it slow and enjoy the foods that I am allowed to eat. I have had a hard time learning to love myself. I just cant wait to love a little less....

[2frustrated]

Just pray she gets to a size 22 then you won't have to put up with her at the wedding!

Just think, you only have to put up with the horrible lady for a day, her "friends" (if she has any) have to put up with her for a lot longer!

You have done fantasticly and I bet whiney woman has never even struggled with her weight and was saying the gym line to get the "oh but why you're not fat" line. You know like when teenagers say, "Oh I'm sooo fat!" Just so they can be bouyed up by their mates?!

Don't let it get you down, at least you are doing something about your weight rather than burying you head in the sand (like the other woman probably would do...!)

[srmb60]

Some people just talk first and think later. Unfortunately, some never bother with the thinking part at all.
You should be celebrating your one stone. I'm happy for you, as is anyone who has tried to lose weight.
People who use such big expletives and blah blah bother me .... I could have killed myself! .... I could have just died! ... it was the hugest! Ah, get a vocabulary and grow up.
My brother says "Men are not all equal ... some are stupid"
Cry here sweetie ... we'll love you up and recognise your fabulous work!

[Amarantha2]

That is just awful and makes me feel so bad for you as I've had experiences like that where some idiot just crushes the joy right out of me with their rude comments. It happens not only in the real world but on forums, as well.

I'm sorry this happened to you. Next time, IMO, you maybe would feel better if you just didn't try to pretend you weren't hurt by the comment. Personally, I've learned that I need to just tell people how I feel when I've been hurt or wronged ... even if it was just a light social talk and you didn't want to upset your friend ... and actually, it isn't even too late to just call this woman up and tell her or get her email and do it that way ... maybe you could just do that and be honest and explain that you can't get the remark out of your head and that you feel your progress, health and happiness are at stake and that is why you are mentioning it ... you could be nice and just explain that you are just sure she didn't mean anything by it but that it impacted you negatively, not so much for WHAT she said, but that she did not think you a worthwhile person to exercise tact or kindness with ... e.g. it made you feel bad that she didn't mind if she hurt you ... dunno, something like that, anyway.

You have nothing to lose by gettin' it off your chest and it could have the effect of empowering you ... and helpin' this poor idiot woman learn not to say dumb things like that to people ...

[melra]

Hi, hope I'm not butting in here, but I totally agree with Amarantha in that you should mention to that woman that you were hurt by her comments. I'm sure she's opened her big mouth like that before and hurt others' feelings as well. I wouldn't let any anger come across when you talk to her, but I think it's important that she understand how she undermined your success.

And kudos to the bride for bragging about your great progress so far! It sounds like you've got a wonderful supportive friend.

[marbleflys]

When people say something sooooo STUPID with no regard for others feelings, a good response is to look them directly in the eye and speak...."What a KIND thing to say...thank you for telling me that"....in your case you could have also pointed out that you might wish to do away with yourself if you were as assinine & small-minded as she was....

I am slapping her from here (and hope she gets a big itchy RASH).....don't you dare cry.....YOU ARE SUCCEEDING!!!! congrats on your hard-work

[UntilMOMMI]

I'm sorry that you had to feel that way... and I apologize if I'm repeating what someone else has said... but you MUST believe that that woman was in a lower place that you and she had to try to bring you down in order to feel good. Can you imagine what unhealthy obsessions she must have about her own body image and about food in order to feel that she must kill herself to be okay??

Whatever you're doing... keep doing it if it works for you. I'll be glad to one day be able to state the claim that I lost "a stone".

[inchtwinkle]

thank you all so much for your kind words, you have made me cry, but with joy and happines, went shopping today, and got a new top for the wedding and jewelry, and i'm excited about her wedding not worried, my best friend also called me, just to say she loved me and that i am who i am and that i should not be ashamed with it, and damb it she's right, i have a wonderful husband and 2 wonderful kids, she has herself i'd rather be overweight, with my hubby and kids then skinny and alone, i know that sounds cruel but i fell slighly better now lol, thank yu all once again, you have made my day LOVE AND HUGS TO YOU ALL

[Leenie]

Boy she sounds like an A$$!!!

I'm glad your blowing her comments off and getting yourself psyched up YOU GO GIRL !!!!

[FatVictoria]

What a horrible thing to say to someone! Kill herself if she were a size 22? Jeez. I got up to an 18 but had no ideas of killing myself because I was overweight. How mean!

[alcandy03]

I know that I am new here, so I hope noone takes offense that I make a comment. But, the way I handle people like that be they family, friend, or whatever... I turn that pain into anger and allow it to fuel my fight to lose more. Just take it to heart that obviously that woman has never had a weight problem so don't know a thing about it. Just take it for what it was. STUPIDITY!!

[curlylocks]

they say things like that... becuz they actually feel inferior themselves... so they feel the need to tear others down.. to make them selves feel better... and to draw attention to themselves....

dont be sad.. just feel sorry for her... she must be very insecure...

[Gategirl]

I had a friend, who believe it or not I actually considered my best friend at the time, who was at least 100 pounds thinner than me..and she used to make me so mad when she would say things like.." I am so fat!!" and "I shouldn't even leave this house because I am so fat!" and "I know people look at me and think..she's so gross"
When she would say these things I would get furious and say to her.." You're so full of sh*t...Do you even think for a second how what your saying makes me feel? And then she would say..."I wasn't talking about you though."

After going through this a couple times..I finally made her see how insensitive this was.. But it took a while..
But I must point out to that this "friend" I am talking about is a complete narcisist...who only really cares about herself.. she was always using everyone around her to make her feel superior in some way or another.
No..we are not friends anymore. Because of her behavior she doesn't have any friends.

We don't need people like that.

[Leenie]

Oh... wanna hear war stories. The lady down the street from me was at the same party I was at this summer. She is 5 feet tall and maybe 20 lbs over weight.. not like me who's 80 lbs over weight. She sat on my lap at the party (she was loaded) and said, Your so pretty... and I'm so fat. You are skinnier than me. I fed her what she wanted to hear and that was "No your not fatter than me, jeeeze, your skinny" with that she pranced away a happy camper. Talk about a self-centered moron.

Ya gotta just learn to ignore people like that and don't invite them into your lives. The energy you waste on them is not worth it IMHO.


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