http://www.normaleating.com/women.php for the entire article
Fat Can Serve a Function
Most people, when asked if they want to be fat, will quickly say no. But it's important to realize that nothing is black or white, good or bad. Everything has an upside and a downside. Being attractive has disadvantages, and being fat can serve a positive function. This is especially true for women, whose bodies are the target of such excessive focus in this society.
Special Challenges for Women
Being fat serves a positive purpose of some kind for virtually every overweight woman, and it's very valuable to try to figure out what that is for you as an individual, how being fat has made your life easier. This insight helps you to realize that your ambivalent, push-me-pull-you behavior isn't completely crazy.
You may wonder why you continue to eat if you want to be slim. One reason is that a part of you doesn't want to be slim. This is why many women will eat more when they've weighed themselves and noticed a weight loss. They are ambivalent about being slim. It's being at war with themselves that keeps people fat. There's a part that wants to be slim, and there's a part that does not.
Being fat...
Prevents unwanted sexual attention and advances.
Focuses workplace attention away from a woman's appearance and onto her performance.
Allows women to define their own role, instead of being forced into becoming wives and mothers.
Makes friendships with other women easier because a fat woman is not a threat.
Allows women to bond with their mothers and other women over a shared problem.
Allows women to test a man's affections and make sure they are based on substance.
Is a way to rebel against and reject women's role in society.
Makes women feel less vulnerable and "easy to push around".
Reduces discomfort with sexuality that sometimes occurs after becoming a mother.
Is a way to express anger towards your partner by refusing to look how he wants you to look.
Reduces anxiety in women who fear their own tendency toward promiscuity by removing opportunity.
Takes away the feeling of being "invisible" when men can't see past your appearance.
Is a way to symbolically develop "thick skin", reduce a sense of vulnerability.
Can be a manifestation of low self-esteem, a way we tell ourselves and the world we are no good.
......
Food Bandaides
When we feel terrible and don't know how to take care of ourselves, one solution is to self-soothe with food, apply a "food bandaide", so to speak. But in fact, the only real need that food can satisfy is hunger. Eating cannot solve problems such as a job you hate, financial crises, a troubled marriage, or sick children. After the fifteen minutes or so of having the food in your mouth and enjoying the taste, what you're left with is a stomach ache, self-loathing, and all the same problems. It can be difficult to take the necessary action that effects real change. Usually this involves uncomfortable self-assertion and facing internal demons. But in the end, the effort is worth it.
The next time you are hungry, ask yourself what is really bothering you, and see if you can come up with some action to take towards dealing with the problem, no matter how small a step it is. Think of something you can do that takes no longer than 15 minutes. Tell yourself you will try this first, and then eat the food afterwards. Even if you take only one small action—for example, make one phone call—the effect on how you feel can be profound. When you no longer feel trapped and victimized by life, you don't need food bandaides.
Fat Can Serve a Function
Thank you SO much for sharing it!
