Hi Tickledpink
Don't despair! I think it's safe to say that pretty much everyone who has lost weight has wrestled with the same issues that you currently face--I know I did
How to get started depends a lot, I think, on how much weight you have to lose. If you have a significant amount of weight to lose (let's say 20 lbs or more), then it's important to remember that any positive changes you make in your eating habits and activity level will eventually show results. Since you say you're having problems keeping your motivation up throughout the day, I would recommend this: Whenever you are about to eat, try to take a slightly healthier option than your first choice. So, if you're about to eat bacon at breakfast, maybe try ham instead--and skip the butter on your toast; about to eat a candy bar? Substitute a granola bar, chocolate milk, or only eat half of the candy bar and toss the rest; Getting a sub/sandwhich that you would usually order with cheese? Have them hold the cheese. Or, only eat half of the roll.
Initiating very small changes like these often help get you on the right path without making you feel deprived. I mean, think about, if you eat a stack of pancakes for breakfast with maple syrup and you hold the butter (assuming you would ususally use both the butter and syrup), are you really going to feel deprived? But, in reality you've saved yourself 100 plus calories making that small change. And 100 calories a day adds up to about 10 lbs a year. So you're still making a healthier weight-loss promoting choice even though your belly's full of pancakes. Starting out with small changes is often a great way to get your motivation up because you don't really feel like you're "dieting" yet, if you're reasonably honest with yourself and committed to making at least a few of these changes every day, then within a month or so you should see significant weight loss. And I think, for most people, once the weight starts coming off (and they see the "reward" for their actions), the process of losing weight becomes a lot easier. Where you are--at the beginning--is truly the hardest step.
As far as the motivation for exercise, it's great that you've joined a gym but maybe it's just too big of a step for you (and that's why you "can't bring yourself to exercise") at the moment. Why not try incorporating a small amount of cardio (20 mins, 3x a week) at home at first just to get into the swing of things. I do ALL my exercising at home because I know I'm too lazy to drive to the gym on a regular basis. Yes, it gets boring now and then (alternating between step and ellipital machine and free weights), but what's important is that I manage to do it regularly (I usually miss about 1 day a month). What helps me the most is to exercise first thing when I get home from work. A lot of people prefer first thing in the morning. I'd suggest take a small block of time each day, whatever's best for you, and commit yourself to spending that time on either cardio or strength training. Since you're at the beginning stages now, don't be too hard on yourself or create any kind of crazy stringent routine to follow--just lock yourself up for a half hour a day and do something, ANYTHING, that is exercise. I really think that if you can get the routine of exercising extablished, you'll have a much better chance of making it to the gym each day.
For general motivation, I'd take a look at this site too:
http://www.100-weight-loss-tips.com/ . Most of it's very general but there are some great suggestions for morale/motivation boosters and a cute sense of humor running throughout the site. I still look it over time to time when I'm losing my will power.
Blah, this turned into a big, long, babbling rant! I hope something proves helpful to you! Keep your chin up and just keep trying. It may take a lot of efforts but there's no such thing as failure until you stop trying.
Best of luck!!!