[Young Grasshopper]

Hi All,

Yeah, I know...long time no see. I can't believe all the things I need to do before I go in for surg. Can't believe how I've been sitting up at night worrying if this is the right descision. I mean, I know that I've covered almost everything that I can think of...researched some more...and then asked more questions. The only thing I don't really know is what life will be like after the surg. That's what's really freaking me out.

So, let me ask you..how many of you go to support meetings? How often? What about other groups? I think one of the keys to success is to find support networks...I'm already finding that some of my family aren't too supportive and I live with them so I know that will be a problem.

Strange, I'm not worried about dying on the table with the surg. It's failing afterward. That's what's keeping me up at night. I just don't want to fail...for all of this to be pointless. I read one of Jiffy's posts about learning to put yourself first and I already know that I will have a problem. It's hard to not only redefine yourself but to also have other people accept the changes that you've made.

Darn, I'm rambling. Got some bad news tonight...thought my mother was going to go with me to the hospital but she's going Upstate (6hrs) to visit my sister. She's acting like the surg. is no big deal and/or I don't need her there. Not sure if this is her passive aggressive way of telling me she doesn't want me to have the surg. or not. I just don't understand it. I'm not sure who in the family I can count on to come to the hospital. I'm even debating hiring a private duty nurse just in case....is that overkill or what?

Man, I wish there were some easy answers...ya know?

Deb

[jiffypop]

deb - BREATHE!!!!! that's it... in and out.. relax.

that putting yourself first is a PROCESS.... it's something to do as part of the journey. it's not a light switch that goes on. although maybe that would be nice - take some of the issues out of it!!!!

as for that family thing - i'm not sure you need a private duty nurse, but perhaps a friend?is there someone else you could ask? it's really nice to have someone around...

and for other people accepting the change, darlin - you have ABSOLUTELY no control over that one!!!

the REAL DEAL: one step at a time. one day at a time. it will ALL come together in time.. but ya gotta take those first steps...

[My4Monkeys]

When is your surgery Grasshopper? I just know everything is going to be fine! We are all here for you!

I'm sorry that your mom can't be there for you. That really stinks! I hope she changes her mind. Maybe if you explain how you are feeling, she will change her mind.