Hey Kat - I'm sorry AF appeared, but I'm glad your cycle was showing more regularity. That's great.
Sorry I've been MIA - had a nasty chest cold this week, still lingering. Haven't been able to workout, and I didn't exactly eat the most healing foods. But I'm doing better now. I ate healthy yesterday, and felt so wonderful. I was able to get some exercise in, had the energy to do lots with the kids by myself (DH was in loner mode) - why would I ever want to pollute myself with empty calories?
Halloween with DD was fun. A friend gave her this tiara (forgive me if I've already told you this) so we'd planned for her to be a princess. She'd picked out a dress, but then she wouldn't wear it that evening. Had a meltdown. All she wanted to wear was her "spookies" - a headband my best friend had sent, with two bouncing ghosts sticking off of the top. So I ended up cutting up a sheet, which she called her "spooky dress" and that's how she went. It was so funny - while I'm haphazardly cutting up this sheet, she says, "Oh MOMMY! Thank you!! It's BEAUTIFUL!!" unlike the $20 pink frilly piece of crap we bought for her.
So anyway, I feel like I'm recovering from a major setback. But I'm doing better. I'll check back in later. Thanks for starting the thread, Kat!
Hey ladies! Wow, October totally flew by and now it's November, and the end of the year is coming around the corner. Halloween was pretty good, spent most of the day at my parents and enjoying the kind weather. I have to go and get those tests done on my heart tommorow, looking forward to leaving early and trying not to think about the outcome. I'll deal with it I suppose and I accept the fact that this is a consequence I must face because of my eating disorder. My therapist disclosed to me on Friday that she divorced her husband because he too had an eating disorder?!?! How funked up is that!? I may have to change therapists and go somewhere else, it's a little uncomfortable knowing that they are having trouble dealing with it also.
Tracy- WTG on your recovery! That's awesome that you are back on track and not looking back! Keep it up!
Jennelle-Glad to see you posting, I hope your doing well!
Kat-Thanks for starting the thread!! What holiday is it next week?!
Everyone else-Chris, Christy, Michelle, Anna, CeeJay, Linoleum, Skippy... My thoughts are with you!
Love ya
Vanessa
I'm in a depressed mood today because of the election (not getting in to a political discussion, just sharing my feelings). Blahhhhh. I've been saying the Serenity Prayer a lot.
Oh Kat, I'm sorry. But look at it this way, in four years, Hillary will be on deck. (I'm not saying that's good, I'm not saying that's bad - I'm just sayin'!)
Hey girls! Just a quickie before I head off to bed.. The tests went ok, it was neat looking at your heart on live tv!! They even gave me a picture of the ultrasound to take home with me. They weren't allowed to tell me the results until my doctor reads over them, so I will anxiously await. The heart monitor thing is ok, though it looks like I've got a bomb strapped to my chest! I have wires coming out all over me! But I shall not worry, I'll deal with it when it gets here, or if it get's here. I did sign up for an eating disorder support group in my area which starts december 1st. I'm pretty psyched about it, since I don't think my therapy is getting anywhere.
Kat-I'm with you on the election... let's move to Europe!
Tracy-Hey there! How are you?? How's the weather in your area?
to everyone else, I hope your doing well and my thoughts are always with you!!
Love ya
vanessa
Oh, I love America, I'm proud to be an American - but if I got the chance to move to London, I'd be gone, baby!!
I'm doing okay today - but it's depressing feeling all the weight I've gained in the last month. Damn Halloween candy. My mom's doing the WW Core plan, and I'm collecting info on it for myself. I know how everyone feels about WW and their food porn, but I really need guidelines to re-learn how to eat well.
Vanessa, I hope everything turns out well. Where's Chris? Where's Jennelle? Christy? De-lurk and let us know how you are!
Hellllllllllllllooooo my wonderful friends! Let's pack our bags and head to Europe! Today I had to leave work early again(Darn! LOL) and let them take the heart monitor off. One word...Ouch. The adehsive was bad enough but they put 3 pieces of tape over it. Now I have a wonderful square shaped red spot on my chest. Sexy! I should know within a day or so how everything went. Not going to think about it until it comes, and when it does... I'll just deal with it. Eating has been ok, not the best but not the worst either. Trying to find that "middle" spot I've been seeking. I think i need to recover from this on my own, I started it and I'm going to fix it. Granted my family was the greatest when I first came back, but I need to be in my "element" and figure this thing out.
Tracy- I've thought about doing the WW thing also, just to get me back into eating normal foods at regular times. I've read upon Core and alot of people have had alot of success with it, but some find it way too confusing. I think it outlines a good basis for incorporating normal food that we enjoy but restrict.
Kat-I hope things are better for you and DH! Just remember England is not that far away
I'm off to dreamland now, I hope all of you are safe and please post!!
Love ya
Vanessa
Vanessa- I must have missed it why did they want to monitor your heart? What was the outcome. I am sorry about the therapist. Its hard finding the right person, but they are out there. ODAT.
Tracy- How are you feeling? And I have to ask, how is DH?
Kat- I was so disgusted by the election that I wrote in Barbie for president. Everything else in NE did not pass, including allowing gambling in our state. Thank you GOD! At this point I am turning it over and have to believe God has a plan for our nation. Hows baby making going?
Jenelle if you drop by I miss you girl!
Okay me
ED- I haven't purged since Oct 8, 2004. This has truly been a ODAT thing, because at least once a day I think about it. Especially in reference to my weight. My food is terrible I have gone from 174-177 lbs to 192-194 lbs. My sponsor and I are concentrating on my bulliemic behaviors. No weightlifting, running, or jogging My gentle plan of recovery right now is simple
1. 2-3 Meetings a week
2. A daily walk
3. Daily prayer and meditation
4. No eating after 6:30 AM or PM depending on my shift I am working
5. Weekly step work and meetings with my sponsor
I am re-working Step 1 and its really different after my relapse. Its truly for me and my recovery. I have nothing to prove. This is me and the way I have acted.
Home life- We have begun family conseling. Instead of talk therapy I am looking more for behavioral changes. So far it is going well and my family is being more honest and open than we have in a long time. We all pitched in and my house is the cleanest it has been in a long time. ODAT
Work- I am still pushing myself here. 50+ hours a week and have had good and bad days. I have a good boss and mentor and I hope within the next year to 18 months to reach some more milestones in my career goals. And this has been my biggest blocker to visiting. So I do miss you all. I will check in whenever I can.
I'm sitting here eating oatmeal. I don't get it. Why did this ever become a food? I added Cinnamon, Splenda, and a little skim milk - it still tastes like little bits of soggy cardboard. Ah well. My palate has probably been destroyed by all the processed crap I've consumed lately, so I'll keep trying.
In spite of this breakfast, I really have hope for this way of eating. My mom's given me lots of good looking recipes, and I'm encouraged. Cooking isn't my favorite thing, however, but that's how I've gotten so off track with my eating in the first place.
Chris, so glad to see you. And I'm glad you're still here, treating yourself gently.
Vanessa - I'll let you know how Core is. What plans do you have for the weekend?
Kat - I'm sorry you're blue! Tell us what movie you saw.
Kat-What movie are you going to see? We went and saw "Saw" last weekend and it was awesome. Still haven't made it to the "Grudge". I am getting a little excited about "National Treasure".
Tracy- I love oatmeal. I have been eating alot of processed crap and out a lot too. I think its much more loving and gentle to eat at home. Maybe something to try come Monday. Thanks for reminding me.
Hopefully I can get another nap in before work. Jenelle? Vanessa? Anyone else?
Hey gals!! I'm posting rather early since I just got home from work. Beautiful Saturday afternoon, a little gust of wind and a bit chilly. My motivation was zip this morning at 4am when I had to get up.. Very warm bed, comfy position, and it's 30 degrees outside. Ah well, I sucked it up and went! I have plans for this evening, I think i'm going to buy a wireless router so I can take my labtop anywhere in my apartment. I figured I need a boost in technology and try to feel "caught" up in this techno world.
Kat and Chris- I had an EKG done last Friday for a check up and it showed that my heart could be enlarged, so my MD sent me to the hospital to get an echocardiogram and to wear a 24 hour heart monitor. Everything went smoothly, I just have to wait until my MD get's the results. She said it was probably from the weight loss, but who knows.. I knew the HP gave me a big heart anyways Kudos for taking it ODAT Chris! I'm glad to see things are beginning to work out, just roll with these good vibes!
Kat- Please tell us what movie you watched!
Tracy-Hey gal! My plans for the weekend are sleeping, visiting my parents, and spending some time with my DB. I'm amazed how I am eating better now since we've been dating. It really gives me an incenitive to be healthy. And I have been on this "oatmeal" kick too, I've been eating the lower sugar maple and brown sugar oatmeal with splenda, cinnamon, and sometimes sugar free syrup. If you add the SF syrup, it really bumps it up! I also added sugar free chocolate syrup once, and oh my!!! It's a must!
Well I'm heading off for now, i'm going to try and make the best of my day. I'm not going to plan anything out like I always do, I'll just take it hour by hour.
Love you guys!!! Be good!
Vanessa
We posted at the same time Vanessa! I think nothing quite shows powerlessness over food than the physical repurcusions. I hope your heart is okay. I want you to be okay. Keep us updated.
SF Hot Cocoa in oatmeal is AWESOME! (Add a little Splenda). I like my oatmeal thick and no instant just the whole rolled oats or Steel Cut Oats. Another favorite raisins and 1 tbsp. of butter. cook the raisins in at the end with the butter and a little Splenda its like a desert
First week of November: Check-in
My gentle plan of recovery right now is simple
