Depression and Weight Issues Have you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!

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Old 08-12-2004, 11:16 PM   #1  
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Unhappy Self Sabatoge

For the last 4 days, I have had no control over what I've been choosing to eat. Food has controlled me. This is after feeling successful for losing 11 pounds. I was doing so well, and then I just let it slip away. I'm disgusted by my inability to show some discipline. I am an expert at finding excuses....I was tired, I made a bad choice for that meal so I might as well just give in, I was stressed, my son was driving me bonkers, I was lonely, I was bored, I was hungry....and the list goes on and on. I don't know if I just can't be patient for the results or can't break the bad habit of relying on food for company, stress relief, and as a friend. Maybe it is both. I start each day new and then fill like I fall flat on my face. I keep going back to the quick fixes. Food was my comfort for such a long time, it is hard to give it up. I think too of all the people in our world who are suffering from illnesses and would give anything to even be able to enjoy food like they used to, fighting to stay alive, and here I am not eating to live, but wasting my life living to eat! What kind of life is that? What kind of example is this for my son? Just when I think I'm starting to pick up the good eating habits, the bad ones keep pulling me back down. I have battled my weight and self image for so long, it is the only life I know. At 32, I'm tired of being that self-conscious, insecure, afraid little girl. When will it click? Just needed to vent....thanks for listening.
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Old 08-13-2004, 08:53 AM   #2  
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Hey Lady, first welcome to 3FC's AND 11 LBS LOST WTG, thats no chump change ya know.

Secondly, it feels like I wrote your post. I feel the EXACT same way. Queen of excuses here. 40 years old and been struggling my entire life, saying every year will be different...OY. So what do we do ???

Its all in the way we think. We need to change it and change it starting now. You and I have to stop focusing on food, I think once we can "start" to do that, things will slowly fall into place. But how do we do this ??? I am at wits end as well.

I would say, in order to do this we must start SLOWLY!!!! I mean real slow, changing one thought pattern at a time instead of like you said, jumping on the quick fix bandwagon. Kicking ourselves when we make a boo boo is NOT the answer, we need to learn to forgive ourselves, we need to love ourselves and we need to be kind and gentle to ourselves, just like we would with a stranger. Does this sound like ME ME ME ME ME ME, I hope so because it really is all about us "ME." If mama aint happy then nobody else is... think of our kids and what our moods of selfdestruction does to them. They do feel it you know.

Okay, I've been working on a list I made on things I need to work on and here it is.

I would love for others to chime in and help me by adding things to the list OR by making changes.

Not everyone is the same, so things will be different.

So if I were to make a list of how to succeed (feel free to add things please) it would say something like this:

Weight Loss Goals: To Lose 5 Lbs (not 70 like I need to lose, small goals, small small small, can't think of the big picture, its to overwhelming small small small is good).

Exercise: Every day, starting out slow - 20 minutes IS GOOD!!!! and not a waste of time, no matter how I screw up my diet, exercise IS A GOOD THING !!!!!

Food choices: Make healthier smarter choices, what does my body need (not want). STOP AND THINK!!!! Food will be there forever, I won't.

Self-worth:
I am worthy of being healthy, my daughter is worthy of having a healthy Mom. My self-worth is not measured by my dress size.

Looks: I CAN look good at 40 LOL hehe.

People: Don't see me as I see myself.

Time: Heals all things

Strength: Comes from Christ who strenghtens me, I CAN do all things thru Him.

Quick Fixes: Only means a quicker defeat.

Focus: On whats ahead instead of whats behind (or what has happened), focus on the goals that are realistic.

Punishment: Eating healthy is not a form of punishment, eating healthy is a reward. I will never say I can not have something, instead say, maybe as a treat some other time.

Proverbs 14:30 - A relaxed attitude lengthens life!

I'd really love to work on this with you, if you want ? (or anyone who feels the same please join in, we can do this together).



So, how are you doing this morning ?????
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Old 08-13-2004, 06:52 PM   #3  
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Leenie,

You are the breath of fresh air I've been waiting for! I'd love to work on this with you! Thanks so much for taking the time to reply to my post. You've got the mind set I want to have. Thanks for the reality check and let's keep working on this!
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Old 08-16-2004, 07:32 AM   #4  
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Wow Leenie, that's a wonderful list!!!

mdmp,

Welcome (from one newb to another)! Congrats on the 11 pounds. Like Leenie said - definitely not chump change.

I know how you feel about the eating getting out of control - I am there more often than I care to be.

How old is your son? I have a little boy too - I can totally relate on going bonkers as well

Quote:
Originally Posted by mdmp
I don't know if I just can't be patient for the results or can't break the bad habit of relying on food for company, stress relief, and as a friend.
I'm sure it's both. Like Leenie said above - don't focus on your overall goal. If you can't wait to lose 70 pounds, then work on 10 for now. If 10 is even a stretch, work on 5, heck... work on ONE if you need to do it that way.

I like to do mine by milestones. I started at 253. 10 pounds was my first milestone because I'd never lost more than 10 pounds at any time I've tried to lose weight. Then 225 (just cuz it was a nice round number hehe). Then 200 because it was my pre-pregnancy weight. Then 185 (just met WAHOO!) because that was how much I weighed when I started WW 6 years ago. 175 next - not only is it a nice round number but it's also my lowest adult weight EVER! 163 after that because according to my BMI - that's when I go down from obese to overweight (sick that at 164 I'm considered obese - WTF!?). 150 after that b/c it was my original overall goal. Then 136 is my overall goal - and I chose that because that's where my BMI goes from overweight to "normal".

I also measure my successes by clothes. I always have a tee and a pair of jeans that are just a hair too tight. Not the kind you can barely pull up - but the kind that you can just about button. Getting those to fit comfortably are great mini goals as well. I'm currently working on my size 16 jeans that fit but aren't comfy to stay in all day and a cute little care bears tee.

I *rarely* think of my overall goal. In fact, I *never* do. It's VERY rare for me to look at my overall situation. All I care about at this given time is getting to 175 and fitting in my jeans and care bear tee. I'll worry about the rest sometime after that.

----

Breaking the habit of relying on food is *hard*!!!!! I am STILL having issues with that. I'm a HUGE boredom eater. Huge stress eater. And... a huge reward eater!!

One of my favorite Dr. Philisms is "You don't break habits, you replace them" DO SOMETHING ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know it's hard... I know that at certain points you couldn't give a lesser crap about journalling or walking or sewing or [insert random activity here]. But force yourself. Like Nike says - Just Do It.

I chose walking as my main option. Most of the time, at first, I walked with the biggest scoul on my face... frowned the whole time cuz all I wanted was that damn ice cream! (mmmmm ice cream ). But it got easier. It's not always practical for me to walk so my 2nd activity is to log online - chat with a buddy on my IM, peruse forums, read a funny website like theonion.com or whatever.

LINE UP ACTIVITIES that you enjoy - have them ready to go so when you need to step away from life for a minute, they are there waiting rather than food... and actually DO THEM!!!

It's soooo hard - but it works and it does get easier!

You mentioned:

Quote:
Originally Posted by mdmp
Just when I think I'm starting to pick up the good eating habits
*MY* opinion - (and note - just my opinion - i talk out of my *** lots of times and just ignore my dimply lil *** if need be ). Anyway... my opinion - I'm not sure it's your eating habits that need fixing. I think it's the underlying emotional issues. The eating habits are a side effect.

I found that when I started to fix my emotional state - my eating (mostly!) naturally followed. I totally regress (LOTS of times) but the 3 steps forward one step back, 3 more steps forward approach has still kept me moving downward in my weight and upward in my emotional state.

I hope this helps. *hugs*

--zannie
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Old 08-16-2004, 09:45 AM   #5  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mdmp04
Leenie,

You are the breath of fresh air I've been waiting for! I'd love to work on this with you! Thanks so much for taking the time to reply to my post. You've got the mind set I want to have. Thanks for the reality check and let's keep working on this!
Hey Ladies

Having the mind set is one thing, actually doing something about it is another. I can talk till I'm blue in the face and it don't mean squat untill I get off my dupah and do something about it.

I need to brain wash myself with these thoughts, really. Just writing them down once isn't going to cut it, so starting TODAY, I am going to print this out, and read it a few times, I'm going to put it on my frig at home...hmmm I should put a copy in my car as a reminder so when I pop into the grocery store I won't get swayded (sp?)

Zannie girl, look at your stats...you gotta be doing something right to have come so far. Congratulations !!!! I'm very impressed.
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Old 08-16-2004, 09:16 PM   #6  
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Hi everyone! Congrats zannie, that's great!! I must say that I agree, often times eating is a side affect of bigger issues, it's much more important that you get to the root of those issues than you lose ten pounds although those issues often double back by weight contributing to those issues, etc etc etc. Anyway, you have to start somewhere....it could be as little as hiring a sitter for one night a week and going out of the house to do something...a little "me" time or taking a weekend to really observe your life and what is going wrong in it. At any rate, take it slow and pick up some speed along the way. The slower you start the longer you can keep it up. (Don't start so slow that you don't change anything, though )


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Old 08-17-2004, 12:03 AM   #7  
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Thanks again too everyone! I think I too will be printing off this thread and read it daily as a reminder. You all have said excellent things that I find myself forgetting on a daily basis. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
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Old 08-17-2004, 09:44 AM   #8  
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With out busy lifes, its so easy to put OUR needs aside. My gosh, I am always engulfed in my family and work and I forget all about me. Years ago my highest weight was 300 lbs. I had lost 150 of those nasty old pounds and I kept it off for a good amount of time (10+ years). Now that I think about it, I was really focused on me and my needs (not being selfish, just focused). I lost site of myself and gained ALOT back

Maybe we need to put ourselves first (again or for the first time)? Losing weight and exercising takes alot of mind control, the need to feel good, the desire to want to be healthy is going to take alot of work.

But on the other hand, if all we do is analyze things hmmmmmmmmmmmm.
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