Feeling Blue
Last week I was so excited. I am going on a vacation tomorrow to the Outer Banks in NC. I was going with my husband, my daughter, and my mother and father were coming also from NH. We dont get to see them as much now that we live in AZ. It was going to be a quiet peaceful week on the beach. My husband and I paid $2500 for the house rental and another $1000 on plane tickets. We also have 2 nights hotel stay and an SUV rental that are all pre-paid.
Well, last weekend things started to go wrong. My mother had pains that turned into gallbladder surgery and has an infection that wont quit. She has been in the hospital since last friday and they cant seem to get the infection to go away. They have had her on many different different types of antibiotic and even morphine at times (latest zipro- which I thought treated anthrax). The doctor may or may not let her out tomorrow- he says this every day. This has sort of made me not think that it was serious but now that I have read more, I find not many people have this hard a time with this surgery and that may be why the doctor doesnt know why she is still having a high temp (101-102) and some vomiting. I am really worried for her. She is a cancer survivor and has been cancer-free for 2 years.
My mother wants me to go to the beach house and is saying that she just may meet up with me a few days after she had planned. She is really looking forward to a break as well. I dont know though. I think maybe I should go home and be with her. If anything ever happened and I was off having a grand old time at the beach, I would never forgive myself. I have talked to my friends, my mom and dad, and everyone says go but my gut is not so sure. I am worried that if I go, something will happen and if I dont go and nothing happens- like she says- then I wasted all that money and had no vacation.
I love my mom. We are really, really close (we talk every day for an hour). I dont want to go on a vacation without her. I want to be with her. I am thinking about scraping the vacation and just going to see her. The problem is that my husband and I have very busy careers and this the first vacation we have taken in almost 2 years. I dont want him or my daughter to miss out on the beach.
I also got my monthly visit and think it may be an omen that the vacation is doomed and I should just go home and see my mother. What do you all think?
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