[kaliu2fan]

I have struggled with bulemia nervosa for 8 years, got it what I thought was under control until I gained weight with my daughter and I realized that as I call it "my evil twin" is haunting me again. I am following a Jenny Craig Diet and walking 2 miles 5 days a week but my body is holding on. I was taking in 1200 calories and was told i needed to be increased to 1500 calories but that scares me so much because I am afraid it is going to make me gain weight instead of lose weight. I am so tired of thinking about food and weight and so afraid of being fat the rest of my life. I am at my wits end. Please HELP someone who has any knowledge on the subject I would appreciate it.....Thank You ......Pattie

[Jennelle]

Oh, the evil twin! I know mine as "my disease voice." Her name is Malfesia.

I do agree that you need to be taking in more calories if you want your body to let go of the extra weight. Especially with the exercise, you're just not taking in enough and your body thinks it's starving.

As for the vicious circle of being stuck in that thinking, it's something I will struggle with for the rest of my life. The tenents of OA have helped, as has a few appointments with a therapist to help wade through some of the underlying reasons why I turn to food for comfort. If you'd like to look into OA, you can find their website at www.oa.org.

Right now, I think you should concentrate on the fact that you haven't purged. That's a huge victory with bulimia. It's a tiny step, but it means you're beating the disease. And think about your daughter. I know you don't want her growing up with the same relationship with food that you have. I gather she's young, based on your post. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for her. My daughter's 15, and I've already screwed her up when it comes to food. There aren't any second chances. Remember that.

[rochemist]

Amen to what Jenelle said. My bullimia had been kicking my booty up to 5 days ago, when I made a new commitment to my FP, my sponsors, and my program. That evil twin is bad because it controls your every action, bound in insanity

Chris