[BlueAngel]

I am at a point where I have lost a lot of weight and I don't know how to stop losing it. I am a yo-yo dieter. I know the risks that come with it. Especially the one about the body will store all food as fat because it thinks it is starving. Yes, I know it is not healthy, and I know that you lose muscle instead of fat and all of the internal damage problems that could arise.

You know how hard it is for alot of people to stick to diets? Well, it's that hard for me to stop being on a diet. I weighed myself today and I am at 101 lbs. How do I start eating again without feeling guilty? How do I start eating again without putting the weight on?

I need serious advice to help me change the way I am living my life now. I don't want to be like this any longer.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Jennelle]

Hi Blue Angel -

I have about a thousand questions for you....

You don't say how tall you are. Unless you are short (like 5'2" or smaller) 101 lbs. is pretty underweight. How tall are you?

Are you simply "dieting," or are you engaging in more anorexic behavior (like not eating three meals a day or not eating at all some days.)

Are you severely restricting your calories? (Like, are you eating under 1,000 calories per day?)

Do you over-exercise as a license to "go off" your diet?

Do you weigh yourself more than once a week?

Depending on the way you answered the first question, I don't think that you need to be worried about putting weight on - in fact, it sounds like you NEED to put some weight on!

I know the guilt that comes with eating....like you're saying "I don't deserve this food because I am bad/ugly/not a good girlfriend (or wife) etc.etc. etc." Food is not about guilt - we HAVE to eat! We just can't use food as a method of dealing with our problems. (And, whether you realize it or not, NOT eating has as much to do with dealing with problems as overeating does.)

Today, I want you to try this. It sounds cheesy and you might giggle at first, but it's important. Stand in front of a mirror. Look yourself right in the eyes. Tell yourself that you are beautiful and wonderful and that you deserve a normal relationship with food. Then, I want you to "fake it 'til you make it." Eat three healthy meals a day. Tell yourself every day that you deserve a normal relationship with food. Find yourself some counseling. If you think you can't afford it, call your county's social services department and see if you can get sliding-scale or free counseling somewhere. (If you live near a large university with a psych department, they will usually be able to help you, too.) And most importantly, come back often and tell us how you're doing.

[BlueAngel]

Hi Jennelle!

I am not going to remember the questions you asked so I am going to quote you.

How tall are you?

** Well, I thought I was 5'5". But I talked to my sister yesterday and she just got measured at the doctors. She measures 5'5". I am a little shorter then her so I think I am about 5'4"

Are you simply "dieting," or are you engaging in more anorexic behavior (like not eating three meals a day or not eating at all some days.)

** I eat 3 meals a day. But they are not at all nearly considered a full meal.

Are you severely restricting your calories? (Like, are you eating under 1,000 calories per day?)

** Yes, way under. I have been having under 700 calories lately. Except today, I went out to lunch and I didn't count calories or care about the calories. I even had plenty of chocolate. I didn't feel guilty. But I started to plan out the rest of the week of what I am going to eat which included eating a low amount of calories.

Do you over-exercise as a license to "go off" your diet?

** No, but I try to incorporate some sort of exercise per day.

Do you weigh yourself more than once a week?

** No, sometimes I don't even weigh myself because I am afraid to see the numbers.


Thank you for your advice and support! when I look in the mirror I just see someone who needs to lose a few pounds. Maybe it's a question of toning, but I got to change the way I am thinking. Even my husband has told me I need to gain and he is trying to get me to eat.
I will follow your advice and keep you updated.

Thank you again!

[Jennelle]

Hey - I'm glad you wrote back!

First, you need to know that at 5'4" and 101 lbs., there is no way in the world you need to "lose a few pounds." Anywhere. You are actually severely underweight, which is just as bad as being overweight.

Second, you need to STOP restricting, and that includes planning your every morsel. I have been where you are, and it is scary. If you don't think you can stop planning altogether, then you need to make a committment to stop planning one meal at a time. Like, don't plan what you are going to eat for breakfast tomorrow. Just eat.

If your husband is telling you that you need to eat, you need to eat.

http://www.somethingfishy.org is a great website. You should go visit it.

Check back often!