[gonzostar]

just a quick post from me - i'm on day 25 today! but i hate that i haven't been able to work out for almost a week. since the accident. i really messed up my back, lots of pain. i have cooking class tonight, but tomorrow after work i'm going to the Y to see what i can handle.

i have to bug my insurance today, because we found a new car that we want to buy and we put a deposit on it but it can't hold forever. wish us luck!

[Jen]

Hi all. I didn't want to start a new thread about this but I did want to post on it. I thought I had hit the lowest I could go but these past few days I have really felt my weight catching up with my health. It had always seemed to me that when I was younger that it didn't matter that I was overweight, I was still relatively healthy but lately I don't feel that it is true anymore (not that it really was to begin with). I've known and have seen first hand what I will be like 30 or 40 years from now if I don't lose the weight but I'm starting to feel like that now. Then the other night I was taking a good look at myself sans clothes and I didn't like what I saw. I have a big abdominal fold and I lifted it up and saw the skin underneath was a funny colour and looked kind of rashy. That really did me in. I was right grossed out by that. I don't know how I let myself get into this shape. I'm trying to think back to a time when I was happy and proud of how I looked and I can't think of such a time. Please don't anyone post back that I should be happy with myself no matter how I look. It isn't a matter of not loving myself. I know I am a great person and so on but let's face facts, I look terrible. I've done terrible things to my body and it's really telling me so now. I'm losing weight slowly, slowly so I"m not upset about that. I really think I will finally get the weight off this time. Just needed to vent. Thanks everyone. Have a great day!

[dowsx4]

Jen I really understand where you are comming from. I feel the same way when i look in the mirror. Everyone else tells me i look great but i dont like to see what i have done to my body. Vent any time you like.

[Step]

Jen, nothing wrong w/ venting. ((hugs)) I hear you about the "how did I let this happen"?!? The thing I've decided, is that it just doesn't matter HOW it happened, the important thing is to look ahead and make your latest "get healthy" resolutions happen. As long as you are losing, it doesn't matter at what speed ....

I've lost a little weight and some of my newest (read, 'biggest') clothes were getting TOO loose and lots of my uncomfortably tight clothes were once again moving into the rotation ... I was feeling pretty good about myself ... until last week when I took my kids to the Children's Museum and caught a look at myself on video. ARRRRRRRGHH!!!!!!!!!! I've got a LOT farther to go ... but go I will, one step at a time ... please take these steps with me.

[lessofsarahtolove]

Jen, I can completely relate. When I really look at my body, I'm just amazed that I let myself reach this point, and I wonder how I couldn't have recognized sooner that some kind of intervention or action needed to take place.....before I got into this condition. The denial I must have been in just boggles my mind. But here I am, and here we are.

What I'm really making an effort to do is to take that pain and bewilderment and channel it into motivation. It was just a "alright, you can beat yourself up for getting to this state, Sarah, and concentrate on how disgusting you think you are now, or you can just suck it up and do something about it." That got me started. Now, after having lost some of it, and feeling really, really proud of my initial progress, my focus and my discipline, my feelings are usually different when I look at my naked body. I'm still not liking what I see by any means, but I'm really trying to view it as a work in progress, and what I feel is not so painful as before, since I know I'm headed in the right direction and have regained control over where my body will take me. There's me, and then there's my body. Currently, I'm stronger than it is, and despite my stomach's size, I'm going to kick its ***!! So there's my feeling a separation from my body, and then there's also a feeling of connectedness and responsibility, since it has housed something in me that caused me to eat until I reached this point. I know how, but WHY did I do this to myself? It's important for me to know. It's not something my body did to me, so I have no business hating it. I did it to my body, and now I need to take responsibility for my body's health, and ability to sustain the parts of me that I more happily and readily own and think identify me: my heart, my mind, and my soul. And I'm trying to stay motivated by the moments -- the small victories -- rather than getting overwhelmed by the long journey ahead of me.

I'm not sure if any of this resonates with you, Jen, but it's how I'm dealing in the healthiest way I know how with those folds I see in the mirror too.

I wish you comfort and peace, and just a little more self-forgiveness.

All the best to you, sweetie.

[chequitagirl]

just a quick post for me. fingers crossed for the car holly. i hope everyone had a great weekend. wi showed a 1 lb. gain for the week, but oh well, that's the weigh the scale goes. my weekend was great. went to visit family in alabama and had a great time. hope everyone has an op week.

[Jennelle]

Okay...my new favorite movie quote...from "Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion" :

Romy: I can't believe I've been dieting for two weeks and I GAINED a pound!

Michelle: Did you remember to take off 16 pounds for your shoes?

OMG, I thought I was going to die laughing!

[boiaby]

Holly- Take it easy girl, but good for you for wanted to get right back with it.

Jen- Accepting what I've done to my poor body has been a hard one for me too. I want to whine and complain and say its unfair that I worked so hard to take off all this weight and now I'm left with a bunch of saggy, wrinkly skin. But the truth is that I did this to myself and now I just have to live with it. I'm trying not to get caught up in the "only if's..." because that doesn't help anything and won't change what I've done. It's just really hard to own up to the fact that I will never have a regular 27 year old's body because of my lifetime of bad habits. I'm trying to remember that I am now healthier than I have ever been in my life and that I will never, ever do this to myself again! Just keep up the good work and remember that at least you're doing something about this now. You'll be so glad you did instead of waking up years from now just wishing you had done something about it. Good luck!

Beverly

[gonzostar]

guess what guys? i was missing exercise (what?? am i sick??) so since i went home a little early i squeezed in a workout before cooking class! i feel so awesome and proud. =)

do any of you like to read weight loss blogs? i love reading them, seeing pictures, etc. anyways, there's this cool "portal" thing a blogger made that lists all sorts of blogs and seperates them into categories (ww, atkins, low calorie, 12 step, south beach, etc) so you can find ones that you can relate to. i think it's awesome and you should check it out. and if you have your own site, stick it on there!

here's the link:



happy monday!

[AngiKL]

Hi everyone! Holly, when will you find out about the car?

Hugs to you Jen!

Hope everyone is well! I am lingering in between food plans again. . .Atkins stalled out when I got Strep and had some chicken noodle soup. Guess I loved those noodles a little too much!

[Jen]

Hey all, thanks for everyone's kind thoughts. I really feel like I am making some progress and that this is going to be the time that I take the weight off for good. I did some bike riding yesterday but only about 20 minutes because the last time I tried 40 minutes worth my knees were killing me for days. It has been difficult coming to the realization that I am so out of shape but I am making some positive steps in changing my lifestyle.

I thought winter was over and here we are supposed to be getting another snowstorm today. I hope it isn't going to be the 15cm they are talking about but seeing as we haven't had any snow that stayed for more than a few hours in weeks I guess we are due. Apparently it is supposed to warm up this weekend so I imagine we'll get a ton of snow and then it will all melt in a couple of days.

Take care everyone, have a great day!

[terrific pig]

..."a big abdominal fold"... I never quite knew what to call that thing - thanks for putting a name to it!!!LOL

I'm certainly not making light of your post, Jen. Please know that you're not the only one who has the kind of feelings you describe. Sometimes my excess weight makes me feel so much older than I am - aching knees, feet and back. But we're working to change that. Weight, it seems, is a lot harder to take off than it is to put on!!

[Charbar]

Greetings all.. I'm here.. just reading posts. Not really doing anything with this diet right now.... drives me crazy that I have zero drive!

All of you are doing so awesome.

Jen - girl, I feel you .. I could have written your message! Hugs to you girl!

Sarah - I agree with you when you said "how did I let myself get to THIS point" man, you nailed that on the head. You'd think I would have more respect for my body then this, right?
I have lots of light bulb moments - which is good - then the light goes back out again I need motivation to last longer then 5 minutes

I just wanted to tell you all that I love you and that you really are some of the best people in the world.

Dana

[Jen]

Mary, I could have called it my big gut that hangs over but abdominal fold doesn't sound quite so disgusting!

Hey,
Just got back from my first trip to NYC. (Was there Saturday-Tuesday) and it was A-W-E-S-O-M-E. I never wanted to come home.... we went to the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, Ground Zero, Rockefeller Center, United Nations Headquarters, Radio City Music Hall, Times Square, Phantom of the Opera on Broadway, Central Park, a tour of Harlem, NBC Studios, we were on the Today Show, I ate at Dean & DeLuca's, Shopping on 5th Avenue, Hard Rock Cafe, Planet Hollywood, A Medieval Times dinner/tournament, shopping at the South Street Sea Port, the Lincoln Center, the Empire State Building, St. Patrick's Cathedral, St. Paul's Cathedral... it was like.... too much.

I LOVE NEW YORK!