[Sooner or Later]

This is LONG and may be very boring/annoying for a lot of you. Feel free to skip!

Deb and Kel...
So great to see you again too!

Debbie -- seems like you and I were doing high school graduation parties and saying good bye to kids going away to college the last time we talked. That had to be at least 2 years ago, but it seems longer...too weird! Did you have a kid who graduated in 1999? I'm amazed that you remember me. I heard some stuff about your surgery through the grapevine. I met Peachie at Dubuque when they were in Iowa on vacation last summer -- or was it the one before? -- whatever -- ANYWAY, she told me you'd had quite a rough time and had given her and your other friends and your family quite a scare. I'm so GLAD to hear that you've recovered and are doing so well! How are your young 'uns holding up? Our girl graduates from college in May. Probably 2 or 3 more years for the boy. Too weird for my little brain...I can't decide if I feel younger or older having a kid graduating from college.

Kel -- how are you? You were always so supportive and positive for everyone; that's what I remember best about you. And a bunch of boys...who loved sports. Isn't that right? How ARE you feeling about that new Gov-a-nator?

And Jiff -- way to go! Saw your pictures...I can't even begin to imagine how your life has changed.

Peach -- I know you're around here most days too. How are ya? I'm missing you, but I'm too dang lazy to sit down and write a REAL email!

Chickadee -- I can't tell you how great it was to know that you still remembered me! 'Course how could you forget your morification and intense moral indignation at Christmas lights left up after New Years and the WOMAN WHO DARED!!

I'm a little amazed to feel so connected to you guys after all this time. I guess there's something that happens sometimes -- can't quite put a name to it -- but certain spirits seem to link up for whatever reason, and even after time passing with little to no contact, the friendship is still there miles and months later.

I dropped off the 3FC boards when I stopped low carbing...I couldn't really find my niche on the WW boards and didn't feel like I could offer a lot of help on the LC board either. Then, for the past 18 months I've pretty much just isolated and eaten...long, sad story, blah blah blah. But short version -- I went through a spiritual crisis that I didn't see coming. I thought I had resolved all my questions with Him years ago, but apparently not. A couple of things happened that I REALLY thought sucked and I guess I thought God had finally crossed the line and owed me an explanation. And, when He wasn't forthcoming? Well, h'rumph! I showed Him. I quit speaking to Him.

I don't recommend it...

Of course, in retrospect, I can see that the lesson has been about expectations...and my unwillingness to die to those ones I couldn't make happen (and couldn't convince Him to make happen). I've hated that. I thought He at least owed me that explanation. Not that I was entitled to one, but I CERTAINLY thought I was.

Funny story about Javy...I was watching the game with Caleb (used to be "the boy" now he really is "the young man"). Anyway, the first time Javy came up to bat, I said, "Wow! He is cute." Next time, "Boy, he really is CUTE!" The third time I commented, Caleb glared at me and said, "Can't we just watch the game without all the comments about who's cute and who's not?" (I guess I'd also been making a few rather unkind comments about the pitcher -- the one who looks a lot like the 3 billygoat's gruff.) What's baseball about, anyway, if you can't rate the players strictly on appearance?

Anyway, I'm so glad to see that you're all hanging in there. I'm back on WW, so I, of course, don't belong on this board at all. But, thanks to everyone for letting me go on (and on!) this time... Just wanted to you all to know how happy it is to see you!

Love,
Sooner

[peach pit]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Sooner or Later
[B]'Course how could you forget your morification and intense moral indignation at Christmas lights left up after New Years and the WOMAN WHO DARED!!

sniff sniff....that is most likely the prettiest sentence I have ever read.

I'll try and write more...sooner rather than later...I am riding rough shod on the boy who got suspended for the day.
He should be a little less like his mother


peach

[Ms Spotdog]

Suspended for the day, huh? I was wondering why he was home scrubbing toliets and floors.

Sooner - it is so great to see you and that *blush* you remembered me! I must admit that I haven't been being a good low carb girl for quite some time but still start my day off with coffee and 3FCs. I 'know' what I need to do to get my body back in a comfortable weight range and when I'm damn good and ready I'll do it - in the mean time I still check in daily with these gals here. You are very right about the kindred spirit thing - I feel that with quite a few on these boards. (of course, it could just be a shared wacky sense of humor but the spirit thing sounds more sophisicated (sp), doesn't it?)

And you remembered right about the boys and sports thing! My middle child, Bryan - 14 yo and 5'11"/190 lbs, has been playing baseball since he was about 5 and has been on a travel tournament ball team the last 2 1/2 years which has taken us all over the state of Cali and last summer to Florida! Cody, 13 yo and working on catching up with his brother, also plays baseball but not quite as seriously - he just loves to cut up with a bunch of boys and throw or hit a ball around once in a while. Our daughter Melissa, is a high school senior this year and planning on Art School in S.F. next year, working towards an illistrator job in the graphics word.

I'm still doing the bookkeeping thing from home with 2-3 clients. Hubby is still disabled -

I'm really glad that you stopped by, Sooner and hope that you hang around a bit - sometimes we find support in our lives in the most unlikely places but I say "If it ain't broke, don't fix it!" And no one has kicked me out (yet) just cuz I'm not doing anything constructive on my weight loss plan!


Gotta run-

Kel

[jiffypop]

kel... i always thought hanging out here WAS something constructive!!! where else do we get so many hugs, smiles and listening ears???????

and sooner.. it's really great to see you around these parts... you've been missed. yeah.. i know that's hard to believe, but it's true!!!!

[Sooner or Later]

Kel -- I KNOW I don't remember a 6-foot tall, 190-pound son. (But I do seem to remember some cute pictures of fresh faced LITTLE guys...) Holy crap, what are you feeding that boy? Our daughter is almost finished with her graphic design degree (technically it's an art degree too, I think). I hope your daughter loves it as much as Kate does.

So nice to see you all!

[Ms Spotdog]

Jiff - Yes, you're right, hanging around here IS constructive! I always get a giggle, smile or a warm feeling whenever I come here.

I hear ya on the what-ever-happened-to-those-cute-LITTLE-guys. I really can't beleive the mooses came from ME!

That is so exciting about your daughter! Keep me posted on her progress and job search. Art degrees used to be sort of a joke BUT these days those jobs are everywhere and earn TOP dollar.

Kel

[Chickadee]

I gotta tell you though, the image of Peach riding rough shod has me shaking in my boots!
Which brings about the following proclaimation: Whereas, heretofore, etc. etc. I hereby swear I will never write bad poems or do anything else to irritate or in any way inflame the Great Peach on the off chance she may ride rough shod anywhere near my immediate vicinity. Play ball. Amen.

So Sooner my sweet, how could anyone forget you? We are kindred spirits, linked by the magic that is the internet! I've thought about you a lot, even though you've been MIA. I don't post too often, but the WLS section is definitely the place to be. The best part about it is trying to say something to maybe make Jif hit the red moderator button she now has smack dab on top of her monitor. When you say something a little racy, it lights up (I knew you'd like that part). It spins around too. The funny thing is, it's okay to talk about various and sundry body parts, but man, say you're drinking Carnation Instant Breakfast for protein and she goes totally moderator, pulling posts willy-nilly!

Seriously, I am going to have LapBand surgery. I have had enough of losing and gaining. The next time I lose this weight, it's for good! The LapBand surgery is different than what most of these wonderful women have had, but I think it's the right choice for me. I'm very, very excited. Just yesterday I had some wonderful news about it too. I've been planning on having it in Mexico in January and paying for it myself, because my insurance won't cover it. Yesterday, my DH's company added another insurance company choice and they happen to be pretty good about covering LapBand. So now I'm exploring, talking to doctors and getting my ducks in a row. Quack. Just when I thought I had everything figured out, an exciting new possibility pops up! How cool is that?

Hey Kel - I took my son to college at the end of August. Nowhere in the Mom Manual did I read the section that talked about how hard it would be! Prepare yourself, because it brought up all kinds of feelings for me that pretty much sent me for a loop! Is SF very far from you? I wish I had somehow prepared myself better...although it may just be hard no matter what!

Later goils,
Chickadee

[Ruthxxx]

at Sooner. I'm still hanging out in Low Carb and South Beach but pop in here to visit. Nice to see you again.

[jiffypop]

oh chickadeedee... just the thought that your insurance company might cover the lap band for you has brought tears to my eyes!!!!! it's definitely the right choice for a whole bunch of people.

and isn't it a good thing i don't wear my glasses all the time????

[debkay]

Hey Sooner! So glad you posted with us and hope that you continue to do so.

Yep, I had my older son graduate in 99, my middle son in 01 and my baby girl will graduate this year. My older son has not found his passion in life yet.......this Momma thinks she knows what it is, but he isn't ready yet My middle son is attending community college, doing very well and getting ready to transfer to a 4 year. My baby girl, is in the college hunt right now, she will be my first to go away to school When we drop her off at school, I will need support from all of you........this is my baby, this is my only daughter and my youngest child........I'm going to cry just thinking about it. ........stiff upper lip I do say........

chickadee don't stop writing poetry......I love your poems, especially when peachie is the main theme and fingers crossed, that this new insurance company is quick in giving approval for you to have the lap-band.

......and peachie, it's a little hard to get mad at the offspring when we see ourselves in them.

kel, good to see you. Our kids do seem to grow up, don't they. It's never to soon to start thinking about that high school graduation party!!!

Hey Ruthie......good to see you!!!

[Ms Spotdog]

Oh, Debkay, I really feel ya on the crying just thinking about my sweet little girl going away to college. Even if SF is only 2 hours away and she can come home every weekend if she wants/needs too, its just too hard to face.

Chickadee - I LIVE for your poems, woman! Don't stop writing them!

Kel

[debkay]

Kel, I have a rule, note, I said "I" have a rule I told my daughter she could ONLY consider in state schools, which were no longer than two hours away by car. We have the first three she is interested in, and they are all within a 2 hour drive. I NEED to get to my baby, if and when I NEED to. I can't take a chance on waiting until the next day. It's a Momma thing, and I know all the Momma's understand.

[peach pit]

Life with out Chickadee's poetry????

say it ain't so.

Hey Sooner.....every time I say Sooner I think that I should break out into the Oklahoma football tune.

How did your date with Javy go? Did he make you swoon? Did he tell you that the Mets could use a good catcher?

I am doing fine, although it is October and baseball makes me stress....just a bit, and those late night games! OY! I will admit that I really really REALLY like the Cubs but as the series moves along my true colors come out...and they are blue pinstriped. I do get a huge kick out of the cubbie left fielder, Kenny L.
And Man oh man they have a relief pitcher Farnsworth (sp) that just made me swoon.

I guess I am over my crush with my cardiologist!

oh well.

My kids, especially last week made me a bit stressed. My little one, the asperger kid was doing alot of ticking and twitching and other fun OCD type of things so we reduced his meds. Bad move, he couldn't get through the school day and was sent to the office. His meds have been returned to previous levels and now he can make it through the day. We just have to give it more time to get from place A to B cause he has got to do his funky photon dance along the way. It ticks (no pun intended) him off when I copy him, but I figure it is good exercise for me.

well, that and the gum that he wrapped around his penis....just about shoots my wad with him. Did you know that Vitaball gum can stick on the penis for over a week? I refuse to scrub it...he is after all, eight!

As you can see, I sympathize with you Mom's who are sending your big kids away to school, but with the penis thing and all...it is kind of hard to relate.

Big kids...mine who is ten, got suspended for one day. I am furious at a whole list of people...mostly him.

Weight Loss Surgery has been a good thing for me. I did have a pang (more like a pong) of regret while I was out having lunch with Jiff and Mom yesterday. I felt badly that I couldn't eat the big huge portions that I used to just because it was so darn fun to do. Other than that, I have had no regrets and enjoy losing the weight. I have lost about 42 pounds in 2 months BUT I am still about 14 pounds heavier than when I met you in Dubuque. That sure was fun, short but fun. I would have liked more time, especially down by that river.

Back to the surgery thing. I like not being driven by food and being able to fill up with good food and not have to stuff myself with zero point veggies. The food obsession seems to have waned a bit but I should mention that I have started adoption proceedings. I want Paula Deen to adopt me. I keep telling her that I don't eat much, but I still haven't heard from her. Maybe she's a Braves fan? Before the series, I was pretty heavy (ha) into the food channel. My excuse was that I was doing a little (ok alot) of menu planning for Christmas. Maybe baseball will break me of the obsession. It might also lead to divorce since dh is from Chicago and all....let's not even talk about my mother the cub's fan.

got to weigh the good with the bad, eh?

are you bored yet?

I hope that you have or are in the process of finding your way. Don't forget the gratitude thing. Are you writing? What about the property that you were looking at?

I better run, I seem to have some restless and hungry boys around here....hunger? what's up with that?

love,
m.a.

"We won, that's all that counts. I feel good enough to have a hot dinner." Don Zimmer

[Sooner or Later]

Morning Ruth! So good to see you! I am going to have to pop over to SB and check it out. I miss your great prose about the life and seasons of rural Canada!

Debbie, Chickadee, and Kel -- we graduated kids in '99 and '01 too. NOTHING could prepare me for it. And I'm not exactly what you'd call a doting mother -- I thought I was all about raising stong, self-sufficient citizens of the next generation... THEN: The summer Kate left for college, the song "Butterfly Kisses" was popular. Every time it came on, I would cry. No kidding. Sit at my freaking computer and sob like a little girl. And, because it was such a novelty for my family to see me cry, any time anyone in the house heard it come on the radio, they would crank it up really loud to make sure I got the full effect, laughing uproariously at me dripping and heaving away. Sometimes I would look up to see the three of them grouped together at the den door grinning at me. I went a little crazy that summer...one afternoon approaching a table of 4 middle-aged women (strangers) at Pizza Hut and asking them if they had children and how they had survived them leaving home. They looked at me wide-eyed (a little frightened maybe), then at each other, then back at me...and started laughing. Which was ok...because I knew there was life after all this gut wrenching. I felt like my family was being dissassembled. It wasn't, but it took me awhile to believe it.

Oh, my Lord, Peach...you ABSOLUTELY CRACK ME UP!!! I've read your post 4 times and every time I re-read it I laugh so hard my eyes water. I'm printing this out and keeping it at hand for when the parenting thing gets just a little too serious.

AND -- 42 pounds! WOW! Amazing. I had no idea. I confess to giving more than passing thought to trying to gain up to 100 pounds overweight just so I could have the surgery and hang out w/all you guys on this board. (yes, I was occasionally lurking) In some ways it seemed easier -- or at least doable -- when I was giving up hope on all the other alternatives. (And the thought of purposely GAINING weight is heady stuff.) Though I have to admit, I was a little unnerved at going cold turkey off my "drug of choice" (cliche, I know, I know) and anticipating the transition from dealing w/ stress /fear /anger /celebration /etc. almost entirely with food to what? I still wonder about that. Though I see that you all help and support each other, of course. You're getting your lives back. No, actually, I think you're getting new lives. What a gift.

I've been given a gift too. I'm losing weight on WW. Not kicking and screaming. Just doing it. Not perfectly, but (and I hesitate to even write this...like it will jinx me) I'm sometimes learning what doesn't work and actually adjusting, rather than freaking out and bingeing (or exercising or starving) through the feelings. Or get so guiltified that I procrastinate days (or weeks) before getting back in balance when I swing out.

Too weird.

I don't know why, but now is just my time. Of course, I'm full up to the brim with midlife crises -- I'll be 50 in February, celebrating 25 years married to the same man in December (celebration takes on a whole new connotation when I think about that), a daughter graduating college in May, the "baby" turning 21 in March... I had a little (actually it was HUGE -- but quiet) epiphany while I was in MO and right after I came back (I was there for a month writing and researching family stuff) and somehow -- like out of thin air -- I just knew I could do it. Believing that I could make all the changes I would have to make to lose weight and keep it off had always the deal breaker for me. After 40 years of being fat...my ability to coerce /convince /fool myself into thinking I really could lose weight and keep it off without losing my mind and my life had slipped beyond my reach. Even when I was losing weight a couple of years ago, my WW leader (who has since become a close friend) would occasionally ask me if I believed I could really do it, go all the way. I always said no.

Now something has changed. Not sure how or why, but suddenly it's like grace has been granted, some mysterious door into my psyche has opened, and I believe something I had stopped believing was possible a long time ago. Maybe someone has been praying for me. I don't know.

Anyway, it IS a gift and I AM grateful, because I know I couldn't manufacture this on my own. God knows, I tried long enough. It's a humbling thing, actually. Because I can't take any credit for it. Though I am trying to take what I've been given and make the most of it. I've been listening to those Smart Technique CD's...I'm pretty sure they're reinforcing the change in attitude. Sure can't hurt, and I'll take all the help I can get. I know that I have some other attitudes that are below the surface which just seem to defy change through self-examination (core beliefs which just aren't working for me anymore) that I want to continue working on. I suspect that this kind of work eventually has to be done for almost everyone who changes from depending on food -- whether through WLS or any other healthy way. It seems like that's at least part of what the surgery does for people -- helps them to change on a subconscious level -- giving them hope after they'd given up ever having it again. But, then, of course, they have to take the gift and make the most of it. Which is doable, I'm finding...once you believe that you can, in fact, change.

I've always known that this weight loss thing was about more than just staying on a diet. But, now I think I'm starting to see that my lack of hope and faith in myself (and even my inability to believe that someday I could have these) have been major pieces -- maybe the definitive pieces -- in the puzzle of why I've been unable to lose the weight I need to.

There seems to be something about this true, hard-assed hope that holds focus when everything in me wants to fly apart. And faith in myself? I don't have a clue where that came from...maybe it's a just a natural consequence of the hope I've been given.

Jiff! Are you going to bleep me for saying hard-assed?

[jiffypop]

isn't it strange??? no matter what we do, no matter which road we choose, it's not really about the food!!!!!!

glad things are coming together for you sooner... it's a wonderful thing.

and i don't always have my glasses on when i read these posts, so you can go right ahead and say hard glassed whatever.. and i won't bleep you!!!!!