Hi, swanfray.
Welcome! First off, congrats on dropping 30. That's great!
Whether to have the surgery is totally your call. My personal advice though is that it sounds like you're having significant (and reasonable) second thoughts about it. I wouldn't advise having such a major surgery in that scenario.
Losing weight and keeping it off is difficult; there's no denying that. I did a quick google and the regain rate appears to be lower for people who've had the surgery. That doesn't guarantee though that you won't regain, or that you will regain if you lose without surgery. It's just the general odds, but who you are as an individual (i.e., what led to your obesity and the changes you're capable of making) will shape
your results.
Purely anecdotal, but my brother was very obese from about 10 yrs old to 20. Then he committed to losing the weight. Over the course of about 1.5 years, he dropped over 100 pounds through diet and exercise (just walking, but for 1 hour every single day). He's kept it off now for 15 years. Over the years, he's had a few small regains (the highest being 40 pounds), but he catches it and gets back on track. I'm very proud of him.