I know I've read through some similar posts, but thought I'd throw it out there again in case there is any additional insight.
I met a guy online after being a single mom and literally not dating for 16 years - I had gone on dates with 6 or so other men that just weren't for me - we've been talking on the phone for hours and have been out a few times in person (he lives kind of far, and has kids etc so time together as at a premium). I REALLY like this guy, and I think he's digging me too
I cyber stalked his ex wife and she is petite and beautiful which makes this even harder for me.
He's old fashioned, so other than a sweet little kiss there's not been anything physical yet. I made mistakes in my younger days jumping in too fast with sex and am determined NOT to do that again.
He is 49, am 42 and have never been married. At my heaviest I was 323, I am 208 now and want to get down to 170 at which point I MIGHT consider some plastic surgery to help with my loose skin - arms, thighs, tummy and saggy boobies.
Here's my thing - I REALLY like this guy and it makes me actually tear up to think that I can't give him what I feel he deserves which is a rockin body - mine sucks. I mean, there are worse no doubt - I have plenty of great qualities and am attractive but take my clothes off and yuck - especially from the belly button to my knees. I'm funny, fun, intelligent, compassionate etc - and these are things that he is attracted to in me. And my eyes - he's said I have beautiful eyes
The thing is WHEN do I tell him- hey - just so you know, I am NOT the complete package - my body is gross. I don't want to wait too long because I don't want it to feel like a bait and switch, but I don't want to tell him too soon in case it scares him off. Ahhhh - and HOW do I say it?
I am really struggling here. I want so badly to share life with someone and eventually have physical intimacy (I LOVE sex
but I am so scared of rejection and judgement - and honestly no matter what he SAID, I think I couldn't possibly believe it if he somehow was attracted to my body.
Ha - I sound like I need counseling!
Anyway - any input is welcome. Thanks!