Thanks guys, your posts meant a lot. I do have an addictive personality and I am guilty for trading compulsions. I have been going to AA after I decided to give up drinking for Lent, and three days after that I found myself going my first meeting in years. I had some problems with drinking before , about 5 years ago and had gone to AA for a few weeks but felt my problems weren't connected to drinking, just situational behavior in response to a lot of stress ( mostly self imposed,and I can really see that now). I wasn't ready to admit and surrender my addictions.
This time I acknowledge the problem, the pattern and the history of my drinking and how it affected everything!
So, at this point I have had 18 awesome days of sobriety, have been going to meetings daily, sometimes twice a day, and have a sponsor that is there to help, not to mention at least a dozen people who right off the bat gave me their phone numbers if I needed to call and talk. It has diffused a lot of anger,self pity, and resentment
I celebrated my 35th birthday yesterday and it was the first time in 20 years that I didn't drink on St.Patricks day/ my Birthday. I celebrated with my dearest friend of 28 years and my incredible husband and daughter. I feel very strong and feel like I have an opportunity to "reinvent myself". I am scared in that eventually I might tell my family of origin, and some of my friends will notice my abstinence after Lent ( I get worked up over that).
But, I really am learning to "let go and let God" and do the One day at a time way of living.
I really appreciate all your support and this past year has been a doozey! I am going to make it.
Thanks again, you are a wonderful bunch!
Love, Meg
Last edited by eg with an M; 03-18-2001 at 11:30 AM.
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