[Blondiexox]

Hi I'm twenty years old
And am pretty sure I have an eating disorder of some kind but not sure what... I really need some help on this. I Bing on so much junk food on a daily basis usually in the evenings, i go to work come back and then I don't stop for hours until I fall asleep. On such high calorie food in talking a tub of ice cream/large bag or crisps/pizza/chocolate you name it i eat it. I'm harming my body and I don't know why. My Weight goes up and down. I go from one extreme to the other. I can go through phases of eating nothing( I mean sometimes nothing for days or bare minimal for a bit maybe weeks) then after losing about a stone or some weight in a short space of time I completely turn it around and feel like I can't help myself from eating and gain so quickly and it goes on for months. I'm embarrassed of eating In public eg. co workers and sometimes even family. Ive hidden food wrappers in public bins away from people before I've never told any one or wrote about this before but feel like my weight and whatever this problem is has taken over my life and it revolves around this horrible cycle. I think when I'm losing how good it feels and how I'll never go back to being out of control of my weight then I go through the eating phase and I feel like I want to help myself but just give in to food every time and gain so much weight so quickly. I eat when I'm not hungry and to the point of feeling sick. I've never had enough!! and feel as if everyone at work is judging me on my weight gain and I feel humiliated and ashamed. I feel like my weight controls how I feel about myself.
If anyone out their has similar issues or can tell me what the **** is wrong with me please get back to me!!

[Jacqui_D]

Hi Blondiexox. I've had this same issue of eating like there was no tomorrow numerous times and I finally discovered my problem: I am carb-sensitive. That means when I eat quick-burning carbs like the ones you described (crisps/pizza/chocolate), my blood sugar spikes, but my body does not produce the right amount of insulin to combat it. Instead it overproduces insulin, which then causes my blood sugar not to level out but to drop drastically. That drop triggers my hunger in the form of cravings because my body needs me to eat something to raise my blood sugar again, even if I should be full because I just ate. So what will raise my low blood sugar quickly? What is my body making me crave? More carbs! It a vicious cycle! It sounds to me like that's what you're going through. And like you, on the flip side, I can go without eating, will even forget to eat, and that's no good either.

To control my intense hunger, I had to cut out the triggering types of carbs, the quick-burning carbs, like breads and cereals, potatoes, corn, pasta, rice, and sweets. It was tough the first few days. I was very used to eating those things and in large quantities! It took willpower! But what happened as a result is that I stopped having those intense cravings and was finally able to start controlling what I ate instead of having it control me. Of course, that's when I had to become mindful of making sure I ate. Since I had stopped the cravings, my body wasn't cueing me in as well that it was time to eat. I didn't feel hungry. The problem is I have reactive hypoglycemia, aka my blood sugar drops too low when I don't eat, so I can pass out. For you it may be that your hunger finally catches up with you and you start to crave carbs all over again. In any event, not eating is no solution, but controlling what types of carbs you eat may be the solution.

If you think carb-sensitivity might be your issue, test it. Give up the carbs I mentioned above and see if it makes a difference in your hunger levels. Instead of quick-burning carbs, you can eat meats, fish, non-starchy carbs (veggies), dairy (in moderation), nuts and seeds (in moderation), beans and legumes, I'd avoid fruits during this experiment just because they have natural sugar, which can be triggering.

I'm on a modified version of a diet called the Slow Carb Diet. All I do is avoid those above-mentioned quick-burning carbs for 6 days a week, and then I eat whatever I want on the 7th day. I don't count calories or anything else. I just don't eat quick-burning carbs for 6 days a week to give my body a rest from having to produce so much insulin to control my blood sugar levels. Oh, and no matter what I'm eating, I stop when I'm full. I don't allow myself to eat past fullness just because something tastes good or it's still on my plate.

I don't know if carb-sensitivity is your issue, but testing it may be worth a try. I wish you the best!

[Blondiexox]

Originally Posted by Jacqui_D

Hi Blondiexox. I've had this same issue of eating like there was no tomorrow numerous times and I finally discovered my problem: I am carb-sensitive. That means when I eat quick-burning carbs like the ones you described (crisps/pizza/chocolate), my blood sugar spikes, but my body does not produce the right amount of insulin to combat it. Instead it overproduces insulin, which then causes my blood sugar not to level out but to drop drastically. That drop triggers my hunger in the form of cravings because my body needs me to eat something to raise my blood sugar again, even if I should be full because I just ate. So what will raise my low blood sugar quickly? What is my body making me crave? More carbs! It a vicious cycle! It sounds to me like that's what you're going through. And like you, on the flip side, I can go without eating, will even forget to eat, and that's no good either.

To control my intense hunger, I had to cut out the triggering types of carbs, the quick-burning carbs, like breads and cereals, potatoes, corn, pasta, rice, and sweets. It was tough the first few days. I was very used to eating those things and in large quantities! It took willpower! But what happened as a result is that I stopped having those intense cravings and was finally able to start controlling what I ate instead of having it control me. Of course, that's when I had to become mindful of making sure I ate. Since I had stopped the cravings, my body wasn't cueing me in as well that it was time to eat. I didn't feel hungry. The problem is I have reactive hypoglycemia, aka my blood sugar drops too low when I don't eat, so I can pass out. For you it may be that your hunger finally catches up with you and you start to crave carbs all over again. In any event, not eating is no solution, but controlling what types of carbs you eat may be the solution.

If you think carb-sensitivity might be your issue, test it. Give up the carbs I mentioned above and see if it makes a difference in your hunger levels. Instead of quick-burning carbs, you can eat meats, fish, non-starchy carbs (veggies), dairy (in moderation), nuts and seeds (in moderation), beans and legumes, I'd avoid fruits during this experiment just because they have natural sugar, which can be triggering.

I'm on a modified version of a diet called the Slow Carb Diet. All I do is avoid those above-mentioned quick-burning carbs for 6 days a week, and then I eat whatever I want on the 7th day. I don't count calories or anything else. I just don't eat quick-burning carbs for 6 days a week to give my body a rest from having to produce so much insulin to control my blood sugar levels. Oh, and no matter what I'm eating, I stop when I'm full. I don't allow myself to eat past fullness just because something tastes good or it's still on my plate.

I don't know if carb-sensitivity is your issue, but testing it may be worth a try. I wish you the best!

.

Thank you I will try this I think I need to get the ball rolling like you said it's hard the first few days but I have to to get out of this. I defiantly think I am carb sensitive I will give up those bad carbs and see what happens xx

[JayZeeJay]

Blondie, if you feel there may be an emotional component, I recommend reading the books by Geneen Roth, particularly Feeding the Hungry Heart and Why Weight? You can borrow them from a library, or read them online through Open Library, if you don't want to purchase them. I found that her sections on secret eating particularly resonated with me.

[wisteriarcana]

Hi Blondiexox. I'm really sorry to hear what you've been going through. Which is why I recommend you look at approaching your doctor to discuss this, no matter how daunting that may feel, because what you described sounds very similar to what I went through when I suffered from bulimia, over 5 years ago.

I would fast and restrict for weeks, and then I'd binge on huge amounts of food in short spaces of time (like 1000 calories per 10 minutes, no joke), freak out and purge, then fast again in punishment. I'd always tell myself that once I'd "dieted" enough to get to the weight I wanted to "maintain", then I was allowed to eat "healthily", except that because I was depriving my body constantly, I'd always end up binging before that ever happened. It was unsustainable. I ruined my teeth, my hair, my digestive system, my metabolism, and my body. My muscles all wasted away from the fasting, and then were replaced by fat. My hunger and fullness cues completely vanished for years, so I ended up maintaining at the highest weight I've ever been in my life (213 lbs).

And I'm certainly no doctor, but the thing about bulimia is that it's actually much more common than people think, especially in your age range (1 in 6 18-24yos according to an Australasian study. I was 17-20 when I had it, too). And I do really hope this isn't what's going on with you, because it sucks. But having gone through it, I really, really wish I'd got in touch with my doctor years sooner, because it would have saved me years of suffering. Which is why I really, really recommend you speak to yours. Remember, whatever you say to them will be in absolute confidentiality. The other thing I'd like to say is that my experience with mental illness has been that if you think you might have something, you're not wasting your doctor's time by being checked in case

[Bookmark]

Hi Blondie

I'd agree about checking in with your doctor. I struggled with Binge Eating Disorder and non-purging bulimia for over a decade. I wouldn't even say I'm entirely "recovered" at this point, but I'm certainly experiencing more extended periods of remission and lighter symptoms than I did...and I have a very thorough understanding of my own personal issues in this area.

I was about your age when I started to consider what I did with food from a mental health standpoint and I wish I had asked for help as soon as...because I waited for years more trying to "take care of it on my own" (I think I was embarrassed in part, and in part I downplayed it and thought that others would think it was trivial and that I just needed to suck it up and stop being so dramatic, locking myself away in my dorm and eating and crying about things) and all that did was give me the opportunity to really get stuck into some awful patterns and habits.

I guess I'm echoing what wisteriarcana said..but it's important that you know (as they said) that these things aren't uncommon and that early help is MUCH preferable.

I'm not saying that you have an Eating Disorder. I'm not in a position to diagnose and I don't know whether labels are that helpful, anyway...but it's clear that you are having a difficult time with food and some feeling stuff, and there are professionals out there to help you sort through that. Don't think you don't qualify for help or don't deserve it or any of that, please!

I'm sorry you are feeling so confused and "out of control" - I promise, I know exactly how that feels. I have done all the mad food hiding, and shame-obsessing, among other crazy things, myself... you're not alone! And you don't have to continue feeling stuck and doing the same things. I hope you do reach out for help.


I'm not sure where you are, but if you're not up for talking to a doctor right away (although I do really recommend it!), there are support groups out there. I found OA (Overeaters Anonymous...based on Alcoholics Anonymous) groups to be helpful when I lived in London. There were a lot of them happening every day. I never fully followed the program............... but nobody cared, I wasn't the only one and it gave me a place and way to connect with other people who were having a hard time with food (it's not just for overeaters, either...their mandate is for people who have or think they might have any compulsive issues with food, and that can mean compulsive food thoughts or food restriction as well..) and that support made a big difference for me. You can google OA meetings to find local ones, if you're interested.

Also, I saw that someone mentioned Geneen Roth..I found her books helpful at one point, as well. I think it was one of her books that proposed a scenario where some toxin (or something) is released into the atmosphere that means that people can never lose or gain a single pound again, and then asks readers to reflect on how that would affect their lifestyles. . . I remember being panicked at the thought of never losing weight, but then relieved as I considered that - if I never had to diet again, I would never have to fear not having food I wanted again, and therefore never have to shove in as much as I could prior to my next restriction, and would probably relax and just eat to feed my hunger and maintain a pretty average weight....

............I hope that made sense. You're probably wondering what the **** I'm talking about...it was elaborated on better in the book...anyway, it was one of many small helpful thoughts I tucked into my toolbox of ways to deal with my own shitty relationship with food. Not a lightening bolt that changed everything. Not by a long shot. But, still.

There's a lot of positive stuff out there, really, it's just a matter of finding what works for you...and a professional can help you sort through that, too (just saying :P)

If nothing else, some help talking through the anxiety you feel around your self worth and the judgement of others is probably important, don't you think? Because while that is unfortunately common to the point of seeming normal these days, it's not actually a healthy mindset and you deserve better. And it's not one you're stuck with!

Okay, I'll stop preaching. I'm sending lots of hopeful thoughts your way, though. Hang in there.

[thinwhiteduchess]

Originally Posted by Blondiexox

My Weight goes up and down. I go from one extreme to the other. I can go through phases of eating nothing( I mean sometimes nothing for days or bare minimal for a bit maybe weeks) then after losing about a stone or some weight in a short space of time I completely turn it around and feel like I can't help myself from eating and gain so quickly and it goes on for months.

I know what this is and it is a combination of many different parts of you. I only have one small recommendation for you, and this doesn't address your whole problem, but it might begin to help in a small way.

Part of why you might be bingeing so heavily is related to those periods of NOT eating. You don't feel like eating, or maybe you are reactionarily restricting for days or weeks. Every time this happens, your binge is coming from your body hitting a breaking point.

Your appetite is like a rubber band--if you pull it back really, really far, it will shoot really really far in the opposite direction when loosed.

I don't want to pretend like this is a situation you can easily control--it's both a physical and emotional issue, so it's hard to control, and it's absolutely not your fault.

However a small step you might try is during those periods where you aren't eating or don't feel like eating, try to force yourself to eat something regular. It doesn't have to be a full meal, but nuts, fruits, veggies, or deli meats are all small things that you could put your mind to and force down.

My thinking is that if you reduce those periods of time where you STOP eating altogether, maybe your body won't want a period of excessive bingeing.

Good luck, darling, and please don't forget that you were made beautiful.

[jensmarty]

You have the exact same problem that I used to have, and I was diagnosed with Bulimia when I started going to see a Psychologist. It is very awful and it feels like it won't end, but if you take that scary first step to get help, you will be on the way to recovery.

If you were just bingeing it may be considered Binge Eating Disorder, but because you are bingeing and then compensating for it by not eating for several days or weeks, you are urging. Purging just means compensating for a binge; it is not always vomiting. The cycle of bingeing and purging in general is what characterizes Bulimia Nervosa.

I would suggest finding a psychiatrist to go and see and they will direct you to further help if needed. If you have commercial health insurance or Medicaid, you can look on your provider's website and practitioner directory to find a psych doctor that will be covered under your insurance, or you can Google local mental health clinics. I saw 2 different therapists for this problem before coming to the conclusion that it was my poor brain chemistry causing the problem. I was prescribed a seizure medication that is also used to treat bingeing (and therefore purging) called Topamax and it saved me. I was on it for a good 4 or 5 months. The first step for you is to find a psychiatrist or psychologist and go for an evaluation.
I know it seems impossible now, but you CAN recover.