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Old 06-10-2015, 10:53 AM   #1  
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Default How to deal with negative weight loss comments?

I reached my goal 6 months ago by tracking my calories and exercising . I started at 150 lbs and I am 5`3.I now fluctuate from 122 to 125 lbs for months now and I am happy where I am.

However, my extra small work scrubs are fitting little loser than before. My weight on the scale is not getting lower. I am still maintaining from 122 to 125 after each week. I was medium size before I lost weight then I started fitting into small size. The extra small sizes were tight when I reached my goal but now I can comfortably fit into them but my weight on the scale is staying at 122-125 pounds---consistently week after week. So I am not sure what`s going on.

Anyways ,this lady complimented me on my weight loss at work and I just said thanks. Then she saw me next time and she told me that I am still losing weight and to stop. I just brushed it off and went on about my business.

I saw her again after few weeks and she started saying things like you are getting too skinny, you are becoming an skinny rail and your face is now getting old .Please don't lose anymore. There was also another co worker that I am friendly with and she said she doesn't see any difference. The other co worker insisted that I am still losing weight .

Yesterday I worked with the other co worker who said she doesn't see a difference in my weight. Then out of blue during the shift she was ``That's enough`! You look good now ,don't lose anymore weight! Then she told me that she agreed with the other co worker who was making comments about me but she didn't want to say anything at that time. You keep losing weight. It seems like she was complaining as if it effects in some ways

This made me angry so I just yelled back at her and told her that I want to be left alone about my weight. I just feel like these ladies are invading in my privacy by telling what I should do or shouldn't do with my weight. At first I just brushed off these comments but they are starting to get to me. Its like I get crap for gaining weight and I get crap for losing weight.

I prefer if people didn't comment on my weight. How deal with these comments?
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Old 06-10-2015, 10:57 AM   #2  
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Sounds like they either really do care about you OR they are some pretty shady people. I'd just nod and go "ok" and forget about them. Do what makes YOU happy.

It was a fine, fine, day in my life when I realized I didn't give a crap what people thought of me. You'll get there.
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Old 06-10-2015, 11:55 AM   #3  
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It really blows my mind how people think everyone's weight is their business. It even bothers me when my relatives say something, but at least they are relatives.
If it bothers you, you're just going to have to tell them it bothers you (which you did).
If they continue to make comments about your body, after you've asked them to stop - write what the say, the time and date, and go to HR, because at that point it's become harassment.

My mother in law used to say I was too skinny at 160 (what!?). She just wouldn't stop no matter what I said.

Some people...
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Old 06-10-2015, 12:14 PM   #4  
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I agree with you guys. There are some people from work that lost weight and I think they looked better with before with extra weight on. They were not overweight but they had more weight on and looked great.

I didn't say anything to them and never would unless they specifically ask for my opinion. I mean its they body and can what ever they want with it.Its not my business
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Old 06-10-2015, 02:25 PM   #5  
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I think its hard to know when it's jealousy or misunderstood concern. I think some people freak out, even if you're not really that small because its just such a drastic difference in their eyes. My mother in-law told me not to loose anymore weight at 150 (And I'm barely over 5'1") and saying I was perfect. I wasn't though... That's still over weight on me. However, take her teenage daughter, for example. My sister in law is a water baby sports monkey. She's super active and is doing volleyball, water polo, virtually anything active over five days a week. She's in GREAT shape, lots of lean muscle, not fat at all. However, her mother always says things like "you're going to get fat" when she picks up a Starbucks pastry or anything. She's so active those occasional little treats aren't anywhere near making her fat. But why is fat a minor concern for her daughter even though she's no where close, yet I'm considered "perfect" at an unhealthy 150??? I don't think its intentional or even mean spirited, my mother-in-law loves me and her daughter. But, I've always been fat since she's known me, and her daughter had always been fit. It's like they are wearing these goggle that just skew their vision... They don't see a healthier person, my mother in law doesn't see the difference between me and her daughter, she compares us to ourselves. At my current smaller weight now, I look "thin" compares to my old self, so I guess it makes people think I'm too thin. In these cases I try and be understanding about it because its not mean spirited, its just skewed vision and people just worried. I myself can have skewed vision about my size.

However, for some people, I do think it can be jealousy, and other feelings like that. I think it depends on who is making the comments... Are these really close family and friends? Or just coworkers that you're friendly with but not best friends? I'd tell them to but out and not worry about it. It can be frustrating, I've heard them too. But a few bad apples aren't worth the nwgaticr feelings associated with all that excess weight.
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Old 06-10-2015, 05:56 PM   #6  
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Report them to HR.
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Old 06-10-2015, 06:23 PM   #7  
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They are not close friends.They are just co workers that I am cordial with at work.We don't talk or hangout outside work at all. So they know nothing about my life .There could be a myriad of reasons behind my weight loss besides diet & exercise that they have no clue about.

I just want to be left alone because my weight is relevant to my interactions with them at work.I just feel like invading my privacy and watching my weight

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Old 06-10-2015, 06:45 PM   #8  
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I think the best thing to do is talk to them about the issue as you're explaining it to us w/tact, and let them know (individually would be my preferred way), you're a healthy weight, you're happy at this weight, however your body may still be changing due to your exercise regimen. Thanks to the media, we've become really concerned with people who seemingly have a eating disorder (undereating, or binge/purge) or are "too thin" whatever, they (the media) can't seem to help glorifying tiny figures and yet admonishing them at the same time, it is so stupid. That is one thing that I don't envy that my smaller counterparts have to endure. You look great, try not to let it get to you because unfortunately there is always going to be someone with something to say about you & how you live your life, that is the way it is, but feel free to vent to us anytime, that is what we're here for! <3

Also adding, your post reminded me of when I was weighing somewhere in the 280's around this time last year my mom and I were going out, and I was wearing an outfit that I thought I looked nice in and asked her opinion. She said "Wow you look cute...Are you starving yourself?" or something to that effect lol, it was so funny because no one else would have said such a thing to a 280+ lb. person I don't think lol.

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Old 06-10-2015, 08:22 PM   #9  
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Whenever I'm feeling invaded by other people's opinions I stop and think about what part I played in these conversations. After all we teach people how to treat us and I wonder if you gave these people an invitation to talk about your weight by bringing it up? Some people love talking about their diets, their exercise routines and they love advertising hoe much they've lost. But then they can't understand why other people express their opinions. If you've made your body the topic of conversation even once then you have invited all eyes on you and given everyone a free pass to voice their opinion. I'm not saying it's your fault, I'm just saying you have more power here than you think. Nobody has the right to talk about you without your permission. You can easily put a stop to this.

You can go the direct route and tell each person that you don't want to have conversations about your body. Personally in the name of keeping the peace I would be slightly off handed. For example if someone brings it up just say "I'm sorry, I really don't want to talk about this. I'm really starting to feel uncomfortable with everyone taking about my body. You want me to gain weight, the other person wants me to lose weigh, that lady over there is telling me I looked better before, it's all gotten out of hand and I just want to think about my work. I appreciate your concern but let's drop it ok?"
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Old 06-10-2015, 08:26 PM   #10  
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If I get these questions, I just start flexing up with bicep curls and the like in various poses before suggesting that they have a bit of a belly and that they might want to work out more or watch more closely what they eat. I often suggest that their muscle mass is pretty low and that they need to weight train more. I also ask them how often they run, if at all. If it's not every day or 6 out of 7 then I also suggest that they do more of that. They normally have left by this point.

The elevator version involves me simply saying that I tried the other way and it did not work out well (281lbs).

Last edited by IanG; 06-10-2015 at 08:32 PM.
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Old 06-10-2015, 09:08 PM   #11  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Palestrina View Post
Whenever I'm feeling invaded by other people's opinions I stop and think about what part I played in these conversations. After all we teach people how to treat us and I wonder if you gave these people an invitation to talk about your weight by bringing it up? Some people love talking about their diets, their exercise routines and they love advertising hoe much they've lost. But then they can't understand why other people express their opinions. If you've made your body the topic of conversation even once then you have invited all eyes on you and given everyone a free pass to voice their opinion. I'm not saying it's your fault, I'm just saying you have more power here than you think. Nobody has the right to talk about you without your permission. You can easily put a stop to this.

You can go the direct route and tell each person that you don't want to have conversations about your body. Personally in the name of keeping the peace I would be slightly off handed. For example if someone brings it up just say "I'm sorry, I really don't want to talk about this. I'm really starting to feel uncomfortable with everyone taking about my body. You want me to gain weight, the other person wants me to lose weigh, that lady over there is telling me I looked better before, it's all gotten out of hand and I just want to think about my work. I appreciate your concern but let's drop it ok?"
I understand what you saying but I never told anyone at work that I am losing weight. I only share what I am doing when people specifically what I am doing to lose weight and I leave it that.

What bothered me was this lady just came out of no where during our shift and just said"No more , don't lose more weight! You look good the way you are.You keep losing weight She said this in front of other collegues and the other college was like"let her go, she is going to end up look like a stick"lol

I didn't bring up the subject and I didn't understand why she felt the need to tell me that as if I don't have my mind of my own. I just said leave me alone but I am going to have talk to her next time about it .I am going to remind her that we just co workers , not close friends. There could be reasons why I am losing weight other than diet exercise that she doesn't know about. Unless my weight effects my job perfomance then don't make it your business because its not.Its not anyone business how much i weigh but mine.If I want your opinion I will ask for it.thanks.

I just want to be left alone about my weight that's all.

Last edited by Telly986; 06-10-2015 at 09:16 PM.
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Old 06-10-2015, 09:18 PM   #12  
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The other way of thinking about this is what other people think of you is none of your business. This has served me well in all aspects of my life.
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Old 06-10-2015, 09:20 PM   #13  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IanG View Post
If I get these questions, I just start flexing up with bicep curls and the like in various poses before suggesting that they have a bit of a belly and that they might want to work out more or watch more closely what they eat. I often suggest that their muscle mass is pretty low and that they need to weight train more. I also ask them how often they run, if at all. If it's not every day or 6 out of 7 then I also suggest that they do more of that. They normally have left by this point.

The elevator version involves me simply saying that I tried the other way and it did not work out well (281lbs).
Ha ha that's great! I don't understand why people think its okay go give unsolicited advice about other people weight loss.Don't they realize that telling someone to stop losing weight is just as offensive as telling someone to lose weight. lol
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Old 06-10-2015, 09:23 PM   #14  
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Quote:
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The other way of thinking about this is what other people think of you is none of your business. This has served me well in all aspects of my life.
Yeah but having observations is one thing and verbalize them is another
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Old 06-10-2015, 10:58 PM   #15  
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Then be direct about it and stick to your guns. And if you continue to be harassed then report it. Nobody should have to suffer through that many comments about their body. It's rude.
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