reconciling what others want and what you want
Hey everyone!!! Just having one of those days, thinking out loud and would love to hear other peoples thoughts and experiences.
I've gotten to the point where my weight loss is really noticeable and I'm at a size I guess I haven't been in years. I don't mind the compliments even if I find it embarrassing and don't like huge attention. Now though, I'm starting to get the "your perfect exactly now" comments. And now it makes me feel conflicted, cause I'm not where I want to be yet and want to continue to loose fat and change my body composition, but people don't want me to loose more.
I've lost weight but I'm still really flabby, I want more muscle and I really want a normal BMI and weight, you know? I've always said I may not go as low as 120... I've never been there before and don't know if I'd like it. Lowest I remember being in highs school was 136 and I was still chubby. I'm going by how I look and how I feel, I still want curves after all!
I know its my body and other peoples opinion shouldn't matter, but it also kind of does to me.It's really hard to be strong about this. My mom had an eating disorder and when people say things like "so you want to look anorexic?" It really gets to me... The last thing I want is disorder eating or a disordered body. I've seen that first hand, lived that through my mom. It affected everybody in our home watching her struggle.
And then there is the whole "you are perfect now" thing. So, at this exact weight, no more, no less, is perfect? Before I wasn't, later I won't be... What about if I was pregnant? Then what? No more "perfect" for me. It's crushing.
I'd like to think I'm reasonable. I don't want to be disordered in my eating, I know it affects others and not just me. But, like I said, I'm not where I want to be. I'm still flabby, lacking some lean muscle. I'm still considered overweight. I liking how I look, I'm starting to enjoy clothes more than I have in a long time. But I also want to be fitter. I'm enjoying this lifestyle change, my husband is training to be a cop and I want to be able to do the things he does as a family, go for the hikes, the walks, be active, etc. But I don't want people to suddenly stop liking me if I loose more, or, heaven forbid, think me anorexic. And what if they are right and I am disordered??? I know plenty of people told my mom about her eating disorder... And that was out of concern and love. It was our business to see her beat anorexia. I don't want to put people through the stress and worry of thinking I have an eating disorder.
How about some of you? Do you get these comments? How did you deal with them? What did people do when you lost even more on top of what they considered perfect? Just want to hear other peoples experiences.
Last edited by SenseAndSensibility; 05-11-2015 at 03:47 PM.
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