I am tired of trying to find something in my psyche to blame for my overeating. Isn't it entirely possible that there's nothing wrong with me? Isn't it possible that I am fat because I ate too much because I was bored and it tasted good, which made me do it again, which made it a habit that I haven't broken?
I had a great childhood. I started gaining weight the minute I graduated from high school. Not because of something terrible that happened, but because I was no longer as busy as I was in high school. I was a runner, a cheerleader, and a basketball player. I did community theater and school plays and yearbook and debate and band and really every activity that my small-town school offered. I was never, ever sitting around snacking. Once out of school though, that stopped. I stopped being so active because although I was a decent athlete in high school, I wasn't good enough to do it in college and I didn't enjoy it enough to continue it on my own time.
That's why I got fat. I stopped moving, and started eating. It's not because of family issues, it's not because of anything bad that happened in my life. I am tired of every book, every forum, every organization (especially OA) telling me that I'm weak and it's not my fault. Telling me to "find the psychological cause of your overeating". Maybe that's why some people overeat, but I am ready to take responsibility for my own bad habits. I felt like if I couldn't find the psychological reason, then I would never beat this but I just don't think there IS a psychological reason and I'm not going to spend any more time looking for it and using it to rationalize my behavior.
I'm not trying to dump on people who really do have emotional issues that lead to eating. I feel for you and I believe you. I just don't believe this is MY issue.
I am not weak. I am not broken. I do not have emotional problems. I'm over it.
I'm there with you! I have a good life. I struggled with weight a bit growing up but it wasn't anything major because I was still very active doing sports and whatnot. But my weight was nothing major; I was still very athletic. I got married, had kids, gained weight with my pregnancies, gained more weight between pregnancies, I love food, I love bad food, I don't like working out much, and my life doesn't require me to stay very active... so, yeah. If anything, I'm a bit weak in that I cannot say no to junk food when I see it, but that's nothing major. And yes, it is 100% my fault and my choices, so I'm working on changing the mindset that would say yes to junk foods on the daily. It's all about changing my poor routines and choices, but nothing really conditioned me for this lifestyle.
I'm in the same boat. Healthy weight until after high school, my weight gain started the minute I moved out of the house and in with roommates. Early 20s lifestyle, not being inclined to cook, and when I DID cook, it was all the boxed food that tasted good that my parents wouldn't buy at home. Piled most of the weight on in the first two years, and then maintained between 225 and 250 for the next fifteen.
I can chalk it up to nothing more sinister than disliking exercise, loving convenient & rich foods, and being supremely lazy about learning to cook. At worst, you can combine that with a stubborn refusal to change because other people were telling me how I should look.
As you said, there are people who have these issues, and I'm not trying to dump on them. I believe the reasons they give. I am not judging based on my experiences. Ten, fifteen years ago? Sure I'd be Judgy Mc Judge-pants. Now? Life experience teaches you everyone has their own life experience, mileage varies and nothing looks like it does on the box.
Last edited by vchan000; 04-28-2015 at 12:59 PM.
Reason: Mothman, Sasquatch and Nessie are holding my family hostage if I don't edit this post.
Interesting post! I think your story is true for many (most?) people. Just liking food, especially sugary and fat food, too much (our bodies, not psyches, are programmed for this) and moving too little. In my case it's definitely something "wrong" or broken with my thoughts and feelings and behavior concerning food and weight, which can easily be tracked back to a childhood with an anorectic mom constantly shaming food and bodies of her daughters. However, the messed up behavior I developed is of course also now driven by mere habit. Trying to turn it around now, and love that I've found this site.
Loving food and being lazy is how I got to the unhappy place that I am in now. I starting being a little chunky in elementary school and in high school I thought I was fat compared to all my best friends size 0-4. Now I would love to be what I thought was fat. I have had success before and I need to have success now in loosing weight. Why does it have to be so hard?
I'm in the same boat! I went round and round trying to figure out what my deal was (I'm a psychologist for gods sake lol) and it always baffled me. I had a great childhood, a little chunky but nothing major. Always had an outgoing funny personality so I was never picked on or ridiculed for being fat. Lots of friends. Happy marriage. But FAT. and I meannnnnn FAT haha
I did see a therapist because I was curious more than anything, and the big secret we unearthed was a shocking level of indulgence and being a spoiled brat LOL once i kicked that little snot into submission (my inner brat, not my therapist) things took off...literally and figuratively....I'm a whole person down and counting.
sometimes the demons you need to confront aren't horrible and scary, sometimes they are. overcoming them is what's important
KittenIsOverIt ~ Your story is also my story, I didnt start gaining weight until after high school and now I'm 283 when I was 120 in high school. It definitely sucks but I'm working on losing the weight. I just shouldnt have waited this long to start losing weight and I should of kept at it the first time around, 2nd time I'm not quitting until I'm at goal.
...but I'm NOT weak. And I'm not broken!
