[mottainai]

In the past I suffered badly from binge eating habits, but the past few years I thought I'd gotten over it, thanks to changing the way I think about eating and dieting and my body (ie no off-limits foods or rules, and focusing on being happy and feeling good over just being thin). But, after a loooong time, since giving birth, the binge habit has returned in full force, now as a way to deal with the stress of caring for my high needs baby girl. As the day goes on and I feel overwhelmed and crazy, my first thought has become to eat a bunch of sugary, fatty, processed food to zone out and recoup. Even though I know that afterwards I'll feel worse, and that the habit is costing me lots of money and health and time, it's hard to not give in in the moment, because it does make me feel better temporarily.... Not to mention, the discomfort of the weight I've put on because of binge eating makes me strangely want to eat even more to try and forget about it!

Anyway, admitting that I feel trapped again is hard, but necessary to making a change. I really want to find new habits to spend my time and deal with stressful emotions that eating!

[rabidstoat]

Yep, you'll find a lot of kindred spirits here, so welcome! Though I was hoping it was true that if one went, say, a year without binging, they'd have it licked and never have issues again. I guess that's not really true for anything in life, alas!

Definitely understand the stress eating. When I am in a binging mood a lot of my thoughts run along the lines of "well, today has been crappy because of <whatever> so I deserve to have <binge session of some sort>, it would make me feel better." So like, "today was crappy because I had to stay an hour late at work, so I deserve to go buy a dozen cookies from the bakery, knowing full well that I will likely eat them all over the course of the night."

[mottainai]

Thanks for your reply. Yes, it's funny how the thoughts pop back up even after so much time. But while it feels absolutely horrible, at least I do have hope of it getting better again someday.

And I can relate to what you wrote about buying the pastries... It seems I've developed a habit to go out and BUY binge food as much as the bingeing itself. Buying the food feels like stress relief and comfort, even when I buy it not wanting to eat it at the time. But then , later on, of course I end up eating it just becusse its already there.