So we recently hired a woman to cover off someone else's mat leave and she sits in the cubicle next to me. She's been with us a few months now and knows that I have been trying to eat healthier (based on my rejections of donut offerings from other coworkers) and sees me with my gym bag at my desk.
She's in her 50s (as is the rest of my small office which is an entirely different irritation for me since I'm the youngest by at least 20 years...) and she is very, very, skinny. The thing is, she makes a point of blurting out, out of the blue, on multiple occasions at random times "OH MY GOD I CANT EAT THAT I'M GETTING FAT" (she's got a very abrasive, abrupt way about her).
And as you might have guessed by the tone of my post, I'm not one to suffer fools gladly. I am NOT taking the bait: "oh, no! that's crazy! you're so skinny!" or whatever it is she wants to hear. For the last little while I've kept my mouth shut and just ignored her attention-seeking behaviour but it's seriously getting to me (among other things she says/does) so much so that I've had to ask my manager if I could switch cubicles (which I will be doing in the new year) and i'm starting to snap back at her: "Yes, you are fat *obvious eye-roll to show how nuts you are*".
Like, does she not get it? The woman can't be more than 115lbs at 5'6" I am quite literally almost double her size - is she blind? What does that make me, a freaking whale??? lol
I get it, people suffer from body dysmorphia (based on how she talks I really think it's just an attention/rudeness problem) but COME ON how am I - all 205 pounds of me - supposed to relate to your 115lb "potential fatness problem"?????
Horrible! I would want to punch her! Good you did the more mature thing and asked to move. Good job! I hate this kind of poo. I feel for ya. Do you have other co workers you can vent with about her?
I have an extremely skinny mother in law and whenever she does this, I either just go 'awwww' or 'seriously' depending on what mood I'm in. Mostly I just ignore it. They want attention, don't give it to them.
We live in a society where every women is judged to be not good enough so it is not surprising that skinny people feel the pressure to remain skinny or even feel they are not skinny enough. I would just say that understand that she, like any women, feels the pressure and she may really not feel good about herself or her body.
My advice: Don't gossip about her with other co-workers, as someone suggested, that never leads to anything good.
Practice your Zen. And realize, that while some of it may be some sort of competitive attention-seeking, some (maybe ALL) of it may be rooted in actual, real, true insecurity, as nellie said.
You are a very, very beautiful YOUNG woman (I mean, gah, your profile pic, what a freakin knock-out, yikes, GORGEOUS!!!). That could bring out the insecurity in anyone, much less a 50-something (I'm about there myself, and I'm finding midlife a bit traumatic), and some people are verbalizers and need reassurance and go about trying to get it in terribly obnoxious ways.
And while that doesn't make her behavior any less annoying (and it sounds really, really annoying), it maybe makes her a bit more understandable, yeah?
Practice your Zen and your empathy (and enjoy the heck outta your new cube, far far away! lol!).
I just stare at people when they do that in front of me.
Someone at my gym (I know her from there) told me yesterday about her size 8 Christmas dress. It wasn't in an excited way for herself, it was definitely a dig at me as I couldn't wear a 16 right now if I wanted to.
She knows I gained weight over the past year and that I'm having a hard time. I just called her a skinny b!tch in my head and let her blab. And I didn't self-soothe myself over eating afterwards which is a huge step for me.
Thanks guys, I really just needed to let it OUT lol. You're right, she probably has some sort of insecurity about her body image (and also suffers from lack of social decency). But I will focus on upping my patience levels and maxing out my zen - in general I need to learn out to tune out the bad and focus on the good so this will be a good step toward that. I think I'll also try that un-enthused "Awww", perhaps it will be an apathetic enough reaction for my tastes and also serve her ego just enough hahaha.
And thanks Ms Snark for the compliments! That as nice of you to say
I'll keep you all updated about my shiny new cubicle in January!
I used to work with someone like this but she was also a major hypochondriac so I just looked past her "I'm so fat" comments and chalked her up as having issues.
I completely avoid people that are negative whether they can help it or not.
One thing I learned a long time ago is to never make comments about my own weight, and to ignore when other people comment on theirs. At a point in my life when I was nearly 100 lbs overweight, I made a comment about how unhappy I was with my weight, and a co-worker who was a good 200 lbs overweight told me effectively to shut up. So yes, she was bigger, but at nearly 100 lbs overweight myself I still had reason for concern. But after that, I simply do not discuss my weight with anyone, and I just ignore if someone else brings theirs up. It's very subjective and someone will always end up miffed.
I also think some people fish for compliments, whether it be because of insecurity or boredom or having a sense or power. I had a roommate like that in college, she was a hypochondriac and everything was wrong with her, and she was soooo fat, etc, and I would just ignore her.
She's probably got some issues, and I would definitely never bring up your diet plans. She sounds like the kind of person who would police your diet. "Are you sure you want that???" "Do you know how much fat is in that?"
So we recently hired a woman to cover off someone else's mat leave and she sits in the cubicle next to me. She's been with us a few months now and knows that I have been trying to eat healthier (based on my rejections of donut offerings from other coworkers) and sees me with my gym bag at my desk.
She's in her 50s (as is the rest of my small office which is an entirely different irritation for me since I'm the youngest by at least 20 years...) and she is very, very, skinny. The thing is, she makes a point of blurting out, out of the blue, on multiple occasions at random times "OH MY GOD I CANT EAT THAT I'M GETTING FAT" (she's got a very abrasive, abrupt way about her).
And as you might have guessed by the tone of my post, I'm not one to suffer fools gladly. I am NOT taking the bait: "oh, no! that's crazy! you're so skinny!" or whatever it is she wants to hear. For the last little while I've kept my mouth shut and just ignored her attention-seeking behaviour but it's seriously getting to me (among other things she says/does) so much so that I've had to ask my manager if I could switch cubicles (which I will be doing in the new year) and i'm starting to snap back at her: "Yes, you are fat *obvious eye-roll to show how nuts you are*".
Like, does she not get it? The woman can't be more than 115lbs at 5'6" I am quite literally almost double her size - is she blind? What does that make me, a freaking whale??? lol
I get it, people suffer from body dysmorphia (based on how she talks I really think it's just an attention/rudeness problem) but COME ON how am I - all 205 pounds of me - supposed to relate to your 115lb "potential fatness problem"?????
Ugh, coworkers. Rant over.
I'll trade you for mine who squats down on the floor next to her lunch box at break and sucks toothpaste out the tube.
I find that the people at the office who are loud and overbearing and in need of constant attention are the unhappiest people. Ignore her. It's not about you, it's totally ALL HER.
Shut up, coworker you are annoying me.
Some of us are quite fab!
