I am sitting here in front of my computer, rubbing my belly because I just ate myself into a food coma. Once more, I have found the power of food just overwhelming and the cause of my misery. I really don't know what to do to gain back to the motivation to move my butt, or to stop with the sweets I had denied myself so venemently over the last year. I binge eat my sweets, and say I'll start tomorrow and then tomorrow comes and I repeat the process. Over the summer, I was doing good then I just lost it again. I had to move my ticket today from 209 up to 229 and I am on the verge of losing it again.
Can someone give me a swift kick in the ***? Can I cry on someone's shoulder? I don't know what the **** I can do.
You need to rewrite how your story is going to go in your mind. Write it out, and read it over and over, then do it. Like this:
I, Wishfuiiy, worked very, very hard and lost ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY POUNDS. I am a freakin' WARRIOR. I am a GODDESS. Yes, I hit a bit of a roadblock at that point, gained a little bit back, but in doing so I learned some really valuable lessons about keeping junk out of the house/journalling my feelings/sticking with a support group/etc. etc. and now I am back on track. Those lessons that I learned will serve me well as I go forward, I will use that experience to my advantage! I am kicking butt again and when I reach my overall goal and look back on this story, with its ups and its downs, I will be SO PROUD of every minute of it.
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You can do this. Anybody who has done what you've done can get back in the groove. Stop thinking about last week, yesterday, the previous hour. You are going to restart your journey right.this.minute.
Throw out the junk, write out a plan, do all the things you did in your first weeks of success.
I was in the 300s, got down to the 170s and now am stuck at 235ish. I could kick myself for gaining all this weight. I eat my emotions and gained it all in the last 6 months or so.
I keep dedicating myself back to my diet and then the sad nights and weekends come and I wreck all my progress.
I just need a sign...anything...to get me back in the groove and watch the pounds fall off again. Honestly, I wish there was a bootcamp I could enter for 6 months where there is no temptation and nothing to take me off track. But that's too good to be true.
... but in doing so I learned some really valuable lessons about keeping junk out of the house/journalling my feelings/sticking with a support group/etc. etc. and now I am back on track. Those lessons that I learned will serve me well as I go forward, I will use that experience to my advantage!
I agree with this so much. Tactics are important for most people because will power comes and goes.
I totally agree with what the others have said. Don't let this misstep ruin even the rest of your night. I can't tell you how many times I blew it at noon and figured I might as well "enjoy" the rest of the day since I'd have to start over tomorrow, then stuffed myself full of the most sugary, fattening, "forbidden" things I could find. Then, of course, I felt horrible the next day, had no motivation, and just kept eating. Start over RIGHT NOW! And be kind to yourself! You've done an amazing job by losing 150 pounds.
I am right there with you. I can't get it together and at one time I was down over 100 pounds.
I think in my case I need to face head on what's sapping my willpower. In my case it's pure unhappiness. I need to think it through, deal with it (or come up with how to deal with it),set it aside and put my energy back into my diet.
Just thought I'd share, on the off chance that maybe your issue is similar.
Girl, you have kept off 121 pounds! 20 lbs is a teeny, tiny step back after huge leaps and bounds forward!
I will in no way kick you, swiftly or otherwise, because that is the last thing you need.
You don't need willpower, or motivation, or whatever you want to call it.
Food doesn't have power over you.
What has control of you is a pattern and a self fulfilling prophesy. Old habits die hard, and sometimes they come back long after you thought you put a stake in them. You encountered a trigger, had a binge, and now you're caught up in a cycle of soothing and remorse many of us know very well.
To break that cycle, you need to give up the guilt. So you binged. SO what. It's not like you ate someone's puppy or kicked an old lady down a flight of stairs. You, like many human beings, have chosen to soothe yourself with food. It's not a crime. Let. it. go.
I've got 2 words for you. Go ME!!!
Celebrate every time you put one on the scoreboard instead of replaying every fumble in your head.
I left one chip in the bag. Go ME!!!
I drank one less soda today. Go ME!!!
Success breeds success. Winners will examine what went wrong, but then they move forward with the belief that the next time they'll do better.
I was slipping backwards too, seems like a lot of us are lately. Don't give up! I find that all it takes is a day or two of consistent exercise and I'm back on track. I know how you feel though. I used to be a freaking warrior and I got so lazy over the summer. I swore I would never fall back into old habits and lo and behold I found myself going to the gym less and less and eating out more. I did some damage but I'm stopping now before things get any worse. Stuff happens. Just pick yourself up tomorrow and start again.
You need to rewrite how your story is going to go in your mind. Write it out, and read it over and over, then do it. Like this:
I, Wishfuiiy, worked very, very hard and lost ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY POUNDS. I am a freakin' WARRIOR. I am a GODDESS. Yes, I hit a bit of a roadblock at that point, gained a little bit back, but in doing so I learned some really valuable lessons about keeping junk out of the house/journalling my feelings/sticking with a support group/etc. etc. and now I am back on track. Those lessons that I learned will serve me well as I go forward, I will use that experience to my advantage! I am kicking butt again and when I reach my overall goal and look back on this story, with its ups and its downs, I will be SO PROUD of every minute of it.
I love this!! I took a screen shot of it and put it in my weight loss inspirations folder to read for when I'm getting discouraged or overwhelmed.
I couldn't say anything better than what has already been said. <3
Last edited by Jesslan Rose; 11-13-2014 at 10:58 AM.
I feel that way all the time! I've pretty much accepted that over my lifetime, I will have times when I just let things slide - work, errands and lifestyle. Even with the easiest routines - it happens. Then theres that pullback and you realize that hey this slumpy period can't last forever. Its always a tad horrifying - that panic feeling. Then the sadness. However, so much better to be in some imperfect pattern than to forever think "oh well the state of my current body is what it is and will always be that way and I give up forever and ever." You are worth the effort it takes to try to be where you want to be - it may help to remind yourself of that. All the strife and the struggle. Thats you trying hard to do the best for yourself.
I am sitting here in front of my computer, rubbing my belly because I just ate myself into a food coma. Once more, I have found the power of food just overwhelming and the cause of my misery. I really don't know what to do to gain back to the motivation to move my butt, or to stop with the sweets I had denied myself so venemently over the last year. I binge eat my sweets, and say I'll start tomorrow and then tomorrow comes and I repeat the process. Over the summer, I was doing good then I just lost it again. I had to move my ticket today from 209 up to 229 and I am on the verge of losing it again.
Can someone give me a swift kick in the ***? Can I cry on someone's shoulder? I don't know what the **** I can do.
Hugs! It feels really rotten to feel like you've lost control but don't beat yourself up over eating. Weightloss is not hard, but battling with food feels like the fight of our lives. This is not a failure of any kind, you do NOT need a swift kick in the *** because you've done nothing wrong in my opinion. Vehemently denying yourself any food usually does cause this type of binging behavior, I can relate to it very much myself.
There are many ways to stop eating foods that cause you misery. Some people approach it with abstinence which may work but most often causes these types of backlashes where you eat yourself into a stupor after prolonged periods of abstinence. Some people are perfectly happy to put themselves through abstinence eventhough it causes periodic havoc in their lives and are forced to climb out of some inevitable binge fests. When I had enough of that I decided to fix my relationship with food once and for all because freedom from foods never felt free when I was abstaining from food. It felt like torture and even when things were going well I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop... and it always did.
What has really helped me is practice intuitive eating. I now eat less than I ever have, enjoy food more than I ever thought I deserved to and don't deny myself in any way. It's not a diet but by following the tenants of IE I suppose you can surmise my diet to be moderately low carb, with portion control which is ultimately what is causing my weight loss. But like I said, it's not a diet, it's just a way to drag yourself out of the misery of binging and feeling out of control and your OP definitely sounds like you're caught up in some rebellious binging brought on by over restriction.
I agree with this so much. Tactics are important for most people because will power comes and goes.
You've got this Wishfuiiy!
Yes - it's like a vicious war. You have to stick to the carefully-crafted battle plan and modify it to either avoid the traps or a better way to gain ground. Knowing immediately what to do when (not if) the emotional crisis comes is what works. Any delay could mean a defeated trip to McDonald's or the candy aisle at 7-Eleven.
I think the whole idea of "restart" trips us up. There is no restarting, just resuming. Even if you had regained all the weight back and more, restarting is an illusion.
If restarts are a stumbling block, guilt is a mule-kick to the head. Guilt makes getting back to weight loss intimidating - a huge, life-changing, identity-changing proposition. The intimidation factor makes procrastination almost inevitable.
You don't need guilt, deprivation, self-denial, or punishment to get where you want to be. Find ways to make healthy habits a way to reward the awesome you, rather than ways to punish the bad or naughty you.
Even little things like splurging on an exotic fruit or vegetable you've never tried or normally wouldn't buy because of its cost - finding an activity that incorporates exercise, but is too fun to call exercise (dancing, geocaching...) whatever.
And I agree that strategies are hugely important. Hubby quit smoking several months ago, and has been buying and eating a lot more junk food. I DIDN'T even think about, let alone strategize, how his choices might effect me. Combined with trying to crash diet for my sister's wedding, I was mixing up a recipe for weight gain, and didn't even realize I was in the kitchen.
The regain and the thought of resuming (not restarting, remember) would have been intimidating and even paralyzing because of guilt and shame. Without that intimidation, it's not such a big deal. I'm not happy that I had a backslide, but it's not really all that big a deal either.
I'm not dieting to become a person worthy of good things. With or without weight loss, I AM a person worthy of good things - and one of those good things IS weight loss.
Rewarding and pampering my wonderful self with diet, exercise and weight loss sure beats punishing my bad self with diet, exercise, and weight loss... but it does take planning and strategizing to do so (and creativity doesn't hurt, either).
Hubby and I had a long talk yesterday about all the healthy, low-calorie foods we like as much or even BETTER than some of the junk we have been eating lately, and we realized that the solution was pretty simple; buy and keep our favorite healthier choices in the house and get rid of the crap. It wouldn't be a "sacrifice" because we had already admitted that there were healthy choices that we enjoyed as much or more.
For hubby, replacing cheese puffs with celery wouldn't work, because he hates celery, but he likes carrots and pickled veggies even better than cheese puffs. "So why didn't I buy carrots and pickles rather than the cheese puffs?" He said.
The answer was kind of scary: the cheese puffs were cheap, on sale, and displayed in a huge, aisle-blocking display. We let the grocery store tell us what to buy (which brings us back to strategy): We've each begun making a list of our favorite low-calorie foods, and on payday, we're going to shop from our list and not even go down the high-calorie temptation aisles, but to reward, not to punish ourselves.
Restarts and the guilt that comes with it.
