I'm starting the thread with some inspiration words and somewhat of a self reflective question by Isabel Foxen Duke:
"Are you REALLY okay with your body? Is it possible to fully “get over” one’s body image issues? It seems too good to be true!
And I found myself having to explain a caveat about “body love” that most coaches don’t explain effectively, if at all…
YES, I truly, love and accept my body exactly the way it is — I think it’s cute, I think it’s sexy, and I like the way it looks in my clothes.
But that doesn’t mean everyone else thinks so.
The unfortunate reality is that while, I choose not to participate in body-shaming, body manipulating activities (like diets), that doesn’t mean other people aren’t, OR that other people don’t think I should.
No matter how “okay” I am with my body personally, I still have to navigate living in an insanely fat-phobic, thin-privileged, diet-culture world. And that will likely continue to be the case until the day I die (although, God knows I’m doing everything in my power to try and change it).
A big part of doing “body image work” means learning how to handle having different opinions about weight, beauty, and/or “health,” than other people.
And that’s something that, unfortunately, doesn’t go away.
One thing I want to do more of in my coaching emails going forward is give you more tools for living in a world that won’t always support your goals of not-being-crazy-around-food. After all, we weren’t born hating our bodies — we were taught how to hate our bodies by living in an incredibly weight-obsessed culture.
At the end of the day, accepting our bodies doesn’t mean that life becomes all rainbows and unicorns — it simply means that instead of making the globally pervasive thin-ideal our problem, we start to see it for what it is: society’s problem. "
Wannabeskinny Thanks for sharing. I find that very helpful.
I haven't been here in quite some time because I always end up trying to diet "yet once again". I actually got back into dieting because of attempting to get my blood sugar under control. There are so many ways to diet for diabetes and so much nutritional info out there. I've gotten caught up into reading so much that I think it is time to stop and go back to what has worked for me in the past. So I have finally decided that I actually need to relax and make peace with food.
I've learned that if you tell me I can or need to eat a certain amount of calories/carbs etc, it creates a real problem for me. I either struggle to get that many in and when I get close to that number, I suddenly want more. It may be all of a psychological thing, but whatever it is... IT JUST DOES NOT WORK FOR ME. I know this so it is time to stop trying to find a group of "diet rules" to follow.
So I have decided to return to Intuitive Eating and make it my lifestyle. I think it is called making New Habits. While I do want to eat healthy, I also want to stop having to think about food all the time. It is just taking up too much of my time. One of the things I noticed when I looked up and read about Isabel Foxen Duke. She said she stopped looking up Paleo recipes. I do too. I'm just tired of THINKING about food all the time which is what diets cause me to do and even to the point that it has become a habit. My pastor said one day that we have to change our thinking to change our habits. So if I get my thinking off of food, then maybe I can change me eating habits as well.
Haven't read IE thread in some time so I'll have to go back and see what is going on with y'all and see which oldies are still here and who and learn about the newbies.
I just sat here and read the October IE thread. Thanks so very much everybody. Such an eye opener and so much of what you shared were either things I've come to believe is important when Intuitively eating and some I needed to hear that I have not thought of. Don't know if I will be just a lurker or participate, but I am definitely going to be implimenting much of what you shared.
I think the first thing I'm going to be working on is to listen to my body and eat what I want until satisfied AND not feel guilty about the things that diets call bad foods.
Hi pattygirl, welcome back. The IE thread has gotten pretty quiet which seems like a bad thing but I see it as a good thing. It illustrates one of the most important tenants of IE which is "listen to your body" and it's hard to do that when a lot of other voices are out there, even ones that are aligned with IE.
Don't be hard on yourself, it's tempting to go back to dieting for various reasons. It provides a big dose of hope, right before it crashes to the ground.
It is a common misconception that eating intuitively means eating unhealthy food. That couldn't be more wrong. I love the food that I eat and I'll be honest, I eat very little, I don't snack, I eat mostly veggies and protein, lots of raw salads, and only occasionally do I feel like eating treats. Sure, there is a period of time when you release yourself from the bondage of dieting and you go a little hogwild on previously forbidden foods. But that's just a starting point, you have to go through it to get out of it. In the end what's most important is learning to trust yourself around food, and trusting that food is not out to get you or addict you or anything like that.
Hi pattygirl, welcome back. The IE thread has gotten pretty quiet which seems like a bad thing but I see it as a good thing. It illustrates one of the most important tenants of IE which is "listen to your body" and it's hard to do that when a lot of other voices are out there, even ones that are aligned with IE.
Don't be hard on yourself, it's tempting to go back to dieting for various reasons. It provides a big dose of hope, right before it crashes to the ground.
It is a common misconception that eating intuitively means eating unhealthy food. That couldn't be more wrong. I love the food that I eat and I'll be honest, I eat very little, I don't snack, I eat mostly veggies and protein, lots of raw salads, and only occasionally do I feel like eating treats. Sure, there is a period of time when you release yourself from the bondage of dieting and you go a little hogwild on previously forbidden foods. But that's just a starting point, you have to go through it to get out of it. In the end what's most important is learning to trust yourself around food, and trusting that food is not out to get you or addict you or anything like that.
I agree, when the IE thread gets quiet, I think its a good thing. I just don't visit a weight loss forum very often. It's not in my mindset and I am pretty happy just trucking along not thinking about food or my weight. It is still sometimes a bit of a struggle but its a process. I do try to check in now and then though. Pattygirl, glad to see you!
Last edited by Pinkhippie; 11-04-2014 at 06:19 PM.
Morning all! Have not been here in awhile, been busy at work. Trying to do IE and having success and failure. I just ordered a book on IE, it is out of print it is called Eating Awareness Training, I forgot the name of the author, I may not get to read it until after Christmas, since that is our BUSY season, but will get to it as soon as I can and give you feedback. Have any of you ever read it? Getting ready for work. Have a blessed day!!
I've been thinking quite a bit about what has derailed me from IE over the past few months. I think that I was going by what I considered to be appropriate portion sizes and truly not eating enough for myself. It was a lack of trusting my body and its needs. A little bit of restriction tends to lead to bigger restrictions for me- a big snowball effect. Now I find myself having to eat large amounts of food to make up for the starvation. I will probably gain back quite a bit of the weight I've lost through fasting and not eating enough. That's okay because it's what my body needs. I am just sharing so hopefully someone who is restricting will see that you can't cheat your body. You can starve yourself but your body will make up for it in the end and you won't feel great. Reading Overcoming Overeating and Intuitive Eating have given me the courage to give myself permission to eat. And eating I have been since yesterday afternoon. It might take a while for my body to balance out but I'm going to try to be patient and give it all it needs. I'm eating a lot of calories very frequently. I'm not counting them and I'm not weighing myself- I'm just noticing without judgment. Even after a meal where I'm perfectly satisfied I can still feel that my body is starving in the background. It's going to take some time to fix it I think.
On the upside though, instead of shivering when it's eighty degrees I'm now hot as charcoal in the nippy evenings! Last night I woke up sweating and hot. My furnace is being stoked! :P
Thanks for the welcome back. I do recognize some of those from when I was here before and I also see some newbies.
It nice that we don't have to report everyday like a "diet" thread, but we can meet and share where we are and what we are learning, experiencing and thinking. Great support.
Wannabeskinny I think you could write a book.
Does anyone know what happened to Carolr who started the original IE thread. I know she had some health problems and just wonder how she is. We have her to thank for starting IE on 3fc.
We went out to eat at Cracker Barrel yesterday. DH and I like the fried catfish and I usually get just low carb veggies, but this time I got exactly what I wanted. I love corn and coldslaw and cornbread. I asked the girl to only bring 1 cb muffin. DH always gets the dumplins and I sit there wanting it when dieting and end up eat 2 or 3 and later feel guilty because it isn't low carb. Yesterday I ate all the fish (1 piece serving size), left about 1/4 the corn and coleslaw and cornbread muffin and ate only 1 dumplin and I was satisfied and NO GUILT afterward because I was eating Intuitively not a diet. For supper I made a big salad. Not restricted by carbs, I used edamame in the salad rather than meat. Only thing is that I found that the salad filled me so much that I felt stuffed way beyond satisfaction before I realized it. I realized that I need to be more attentive and recognize when I'm satisfied since I really don't like that stuffed feeling because I felt so bloated. However, it could have been kind of like what Locke said. I have done low carb/intermittent fasting combo. I'm thinking that my body may just be balancing out and maybe even correcting itself.
I am wondering if maybe when we restrict too much on certain foods if maybe we actually get our body out of whack and we get sensitive to certain foods. However, from what I have read the body is an amazing machine (for lack of better word) and if nourished correctlu, it will heal itself. Perhaps when we first begin to listen to our bodies and eat what it wants, it will take that food and correct itself and eventually heal itself. Just a thought.
I actually got up this morning and ate what I wanted and am perfectly satisfied. While it was a moderately low carb breakfast, it was not extreme either way.
I definitely understand about the getting stuffed on salad. If I'm really hungry (which is always these days lol) I can't eat "light" food because I'll have to eat an amount that is more than comfortable for the size of my stomach. Tribole and Resch talk about that in Intuitive Eating. You can stuff yourself with "air foods" like popcorn but you will have to eat a lot to satisfy yourself and then you'll still be wanting some things to "fill in the corners". If I'm not too hungry I can eat baked fish, rice, and salad. If I'm hungry though, I need to eat something more calorically dense so my stomach doesn't get too full just trying to satisfy my energy needs.
I like the idea of adding edamame to salads for the protein as well as the satisfaction.
Delightful to find others who realize that accepting my body and listening to my needs can make life so much less stressful. Didn't know the name of the way I'm eating, but beginning to recognize that this is satisfying and very slowly the pounds drop.
My largest restriction is on sweets. My grandmother and sister died with Diabetes and I'm very concerned to do all I can to prevent this.
Those of you who are managing this disease receive my encouragement. those in my family didn't even try to manage it and fixed and ate so many sweets, then in later years stopped even moving.
Accepting my body as it is. Actually I do mostly because I've never bothered about looking in a mirror except as I put on lipstick to go out or to spend time with DH. Grateful that at least on problem is not mine. Do I appreciate the extra fat of 100 extra pounds I've put on, NO. But it did go on very slowly and my bone density seemed to increase to support it. Dr. tells me that having good bone density from years of exercise because I enjoy it, and drinking lots of milk because I enjoy it, is not good reason to maintain the pounds I've accumulated. I see him in 2 weeks, would like to be at least a few pounds less.
Last edited by love2garden; 11-05-2014 at 12:07 PM.
Reason: more thoughts
"I'm focusing on these, especially #6 (eat in full view of others.) which can be really confusing. Sometimes just being by myself and eating triggers my inner binger. I've spent many years seeking out to eat in secret so it makes sense that my brain is wired to go to food when I'm alone. So I have to work really hard to block out that inner part of me that automatically thinks "the cat's away, time to play" mentality. Sometimes this is especially difficult when there are big changes in my life such as my son going away to school for the first time. First time my daytimes were free to myself, let's eat donuts!!
So being in full view doesn't mean I step out to the sidewalk and eat my lunch there. It just means that I don't eat anything with the intention of it being a secret. I might tell my husband when he gets home that "I ate chips today" or leave the packaging out on the counter.
I've also made a big change in our lives. As a family we used to sit on the sofa to eat dinner in front of the television. First I put an end to the tv, but even so something about this felt wrong. I realized that sitting on the sofa makes me feel like I'm binging. The sofa was the only place in my house really that I over ate both in secret and at proper meal times. I've put an end to eating on the sofa, if I want to eat I need to sit at the table properly. The subtle switch was enough to get me to eat mindfully without having to think about it. Just the way a nice plate setting at the table makes me mindful, so sitting on the couch makes me mindless."
In October the post listing Geneen Roth's Eating Guidelines gave me a better idea of the type eating this post discusses. Thanks for that post.
This is one of my huge issues I shall address during the rest of 2014. Sometimes I'm doing better, so I'll be possitive and count that as an improvement. When others go to bed, the snack cabinet DH keeps in TV room really begins calling me. Far too often I've managed to finish off what ever is there including potato chips that I don't even like.
Just last night at computer I enjoyed my 1 oz dark chocolate that I choose to eat most days. DH and DD know I do this, but instead of eating in front of them, I chose to eat it here in computer room by myself.
Something to journal about and see what is going on here, Thanks. Wantabeskinny. See you are still helping a month after writing.
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I am wondering if maybe when we restrict too much on certain foods if maybe we actually get our body out of whack and we get sensitive to certain foods. However, from what I have read the body is an amazing machine (for lack of better word) and if nourished correctlu, it will heal itself. Perhaps when we first begin to listen to our bodies and eat what it wants, it will take that food and correct itself and eventually heal itself. Just a thought.
This was actually addressed in the Kill the Guru podcast I posted in my earlier post. I'll have to go back and have a listen but basically people who go low carb definitely set themselves up for a carb sensitivity. I haven't done enough research to understand the science behind it yet but just knowing of this concept is eye opening.
Happy Doughnut Day! I'm not feeling a particular interest in eating a doughnut today but I am secure in the fact that if I want one (or three, or five, or a whole dozen) I can have it.
Intuitive Eating: November 2014
