General Diet Plans and Questions General diet questions, support for various diet plans other than those listed below.

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Old 10-01-2014, 02:41 PM   #1  
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Default Intuitive Eating: October 2014

Hello fellow IErs and welcome to anyone who is new and looking for a way out of the endless cycle off dieting and binging. Let's start off with Geneen Roth's Eating Guidelines for inspiration this month.

Geneen Roth's Eating Guidelines

1. Eat when you are hungry. (Truly hungry, body hungry not mind hungry)

2. Eat sitting down in a calm environment. This does not include the car.

3.Eat without distractions. Distractions include radio, television, newspaper, books, intense or anxiety producing conversation and music.

4. Eat only what your body wants. (Big difference from what your MIND wants!)

5. Eat until you are satisfied. (This is different than full).

6. Eat (with the intention of being) in full view of others.

7. Eat with enjoyment, gusto and pleasure.

I'm focusing on these, especially #6 which can be really confusing. Sometimes just being by myself and eating triggers my inner binger. I've spent many years seeking out to eat in secret so it makes sense that my brain is wired to go to food when I'm alone. So I have to work really hard to block out that inner part of me that automatically thinks "the cat's away, time to play" mentality. Sometimes this is especially difficult when there are big changes in my life such as my son going away to school for the first time. First time my daytimes were free to myself, let's eat donuts!!

So being in full view doesn't mean I step out to the sidewalk and eat my lunch there. It just means that I don't eat anything with the intention of it being a secret. I might tell my husband when he gets home that "I ate chips today" or leave the packaging out on the counter.

I've also made a big change in our lives. As a family we used to sit on the sofa to eat dinner in front of the television. First I put an end to the tv, but even so something about this felt wrong. I realized that sitting on the sofa makes me feel like I'm binging. The sofa was the only place in my house really that I over ate both in secret and at proper meal times. I've put an end to eating on the sofa, if I want to eat I need to sit at the table properly. The subtle switch was enough to get me to eat mindfully without having to think about it. Just the way a nice plate setting at the table makes me mindful, so sitting on the couch makes me mindless.

Last edited by Palestrina; 10-01-2014 at 02:48 PM.
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Old 10-01-2014, 04:16 PM   #2  
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Hi all

I plan to mainly just lurk in your thread, but I'm really intrigued by intuitive eating & health at every size - but (and I suppose this is very common) I really want to lose some weight first. I've actually incorporated exercise back into my life since late August, and am focusing on healthy eating and not getting on the scale daily.

For now intuitive eating / HAES is something that is incubating, and that I want to continue to explore.

Do any of you still want to lose weight and/or struggle with that "give up the diet mentality" part?
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Old 10-01-2014, 05:23 PM   #3  
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Originally Posted by sarahinparis View Post
Hi all

I plan to mainly just lurk in your thread, but I'm really intrigued by intuitive eating & health at every size - but (and I suppose this is very common) I really want to lose some weight first. I've actually incorporated exercise back into my life since late August, and am focusing on healthy eating and not getting on the scale daily.

For now intuitive eating / HAES is something that is incubating, and that I want to continue to explore.

Do any of you still want to lose weight and/or struggle with that "give up the diet mentality" part?
I still want to lose weight. I still want peace with food. I still am trying to get rid of the diet mentality.
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Old 10-01-2014, 06:46 PM   #4  
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Default My "addictions" are getting better

I have two major "addictions" and it seems like I am finally starting to get a handle on them.

#1: Cookbooks. I love them. I collect them. I read them like people read novels. Do I cook from them? No. I just fantasize about the food. This is not right in the head!! Well one came in the mail and I took it right over to the counter and told the mail lady to please send it back-and I had no regrets!!

#2: Women's World magazine. I have posted about this one before and I did real good for a few weeks. I have been to the store a few days this week and I knew the new one was there but resisted the urge to buy it. Well today I walked by and there was the pretty slim lady on the cover dressed in a white lab coat to look like a doctor and with bold letters the promise of a new fantastic diet to end all diets. So I picked it up and went to page 18 (all the diets are on page 18) and I just looked at the page for a few seconds, did not even read the words, and realized that I cannot even READ about another diet and closed up the magazine and put back in the rack.

So two steps forward. The beginning of healing. Thank you Jesus!! Thought I would share. Have a blessed evening all.
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Old 10-01-2014, 09:20 PM   #5  
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I want to lose weight but if you believe in the principles of intuitive eating, you should get to your body's natural set point. I have been doing EI for a week and a half so I am still learning but my belt is in a notch already. It is really nice not to obsess over what I can and cannot have. For example I had to eat a business lunch yesterday and instead of stressing over what to order because I was on some sort of diet, I just ordered what sounded good and ate until I was satisfied.
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Old 10-02-2014, 06:54 AM   #6  
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Originally Posted by sarahinparis View Post
Hi all

I plan to mainly just lurk in your thread, but I'm really intrigued by intuitive eating & health at every size - but (and I suppose this is very common) I really want to lose some weight first. I've actually incorporated exercise back into my life since late August, and am focusing on healthy eating and not getting on the scale daily.

For now intuitive eating / HAES is something that is incubating, and that I want to continue to explore.

Do any of you still want to lose weight and/or struggle with that "give up the diet mentality" part?
Yes it's always a struggle, it's very easy to slip back into the diet mentality. But the diet mentality is sort of like a drug, an impaired consciousness that keeps us from focusing on reality. As soon as I stress out I start obsessing over food,, which makes me want to exert control over what I eat. I begin thinking "tomorrow I'll do better" and "no more wheat tomorrow." Turning to dieting is a desperate reach for control. Obsessing about it keeps my mind occupied so that I don't have to think about how angry or frustrated or sad or upset I am.

There have been many who get intrigued by IE but want to just lose a little weight first. It's understandable that one would want a little room in their pants before they start legalizing all "bad' foods. But this type of logic never really works because IE is not something you ca do half way, you're just prolonging the learning process. You're setting up conditions in which IE will not work, IE is total abandonment of restriction and conditional eating. IE is a rather extremely slow process of weight loss, but the benefits encompass much more than weight loss. It's given me my life back, I can't tell you how life changing it is to look in the mirror and accept what I see - compare that to the self loathing most women berate themselves with.

I still want to lose weight, I want to buy beautiful trendy clothes, I want to wear skinny jeans, I want to be healthy and fit. IE does not prevent me from wanting to be healthier and slimmer. What it does is make the process come from inside out by listening to my own hunger cues rather than waiting for some diet to tell me when I should or shouldn't eat. Listening to my fullness cues rather than my food intake be dictated by a diet or the parameters of my plate. Eating the things I want rather than listing foods to avoid. Basing my worth on how I feel rather than a number on a scale. Most importantly, IE has taught me how to exert self love without conditions. Before my self love was a carrot on a stick, I never allowed myself to deserve it - not until I reached a certain weight, or a certain size, or ate a certain way or avoided certain foods. We waste so much headspace worrying about our bodies and our diets and it all stems from our inability to trust ourselves. IE has helped me learn how to trust myself around food. (For example, I asked my husband to run out and get me a slice of chocolate cheesecake yesterday. I'd been craving it. I sat down after dinner with my beautiful slice of ny cheesecake topped with a thick layer of dark chocolate ganache. I ate with abandon and suddenly I was completely satisfied. I hadn't even eaten half of the slice. I sat back and let it sit on the table for a bit while I engaged in conversation with my husband. Maybe I'd want some more later. But 10min later I still didn't want another bite so I wrapped it up in cling wrap and put it in the fridge for another day. I've never been able to allow cheesecake to linger in my house either when I was binging OR dieting. But I can't tell you how much "bad" food is in my house right now that I'm not scarfing down by the boatload.)

Many people misunderstand IE to be part of the fat acceptance movement. That we don't care about gaining weight or our health but nothing could be further from the truth. My health is comprised not only by my physical body but also my emotional and psychological self. I was a very sick person, I would binge and eat in secret and then hate myself afterwards. I did this daily for years. I was miserable and dieting made it worse and worse and worse. I'm not cured, but I don't binge like that anymore. And if I do I don't see it as a weakness in me, I see it as a signal that something is wrong, like a call for help, and I don't feel helpless anymore - I call on my new skills to pull myself out of it.

Gosh, sorry for the essay lol.

Last edited by Palestrina; 10-02-2014 at 06:59 AM.
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Old 10-02-2014, 09:14 AM   #7  
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Very well said wannabeskinny.

Sarahinparis, I don't think IE is an easy thing as it requires you to really develop an awareness about how you feel and what you are eating but I feel so much less stress on what I eat than I used to and I am actually eating food I like instead of the "diet food" that I did not like. I'm working to try to figure out what my body wants and when it is satisfied, etc. The whole notion of eating something because your body wants it or exercising because it makes me feel good or healthy is very liberating compared to the old diet mindset. I'll don't mind that I may not lose the weight as fast as if I continued to diet but in the end...diets did not work for me or I would already be at my ideal weight now.

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Old 10-02-2014, 10:27 AM   #8  
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Sarahinparis,

Thanks for posting. I think what you expressed is common for many people here. They want to fix their relationship with food but they also want to lose weight as quickly as possible. Unless you are under your genetically determined weight you probably will lose weight and keep it off. The IE philosophy basically says that your body determines a) how much you eat and b) how much you weigh. You have to be patient and have faith. It's really hard to do that sometimes. Last week I restricted too much and it set me back. I had been losing 2-3 pounds per week but I got greedy and decided to push it. I felt *awful*. I can do IE for life but not a diet. It's not sustainable.
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Old 10-02-2014, 10:54 AM   #9  
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Wannabe that was great! I agree!
Ive been thinking about my emotional eating at night and I realized I needed to shift my mindset away from: I feel bad and I want to eat even though I know I shouldn't, to : I feel bad and its ok if I eat but why am I feeling bad and what do I really need as well? I did that last night and realized I actually wasn't hungry. I sat and talked with my husband about things I have been struggling with instead. Maybe not as fun as sitting down to a bowl of ice cream, but much more helpful and I felt a lot better after I talked about stuff.

Also, I picked up a book at the library that talked about emotional eating and achieving body love etc.. I was intrigued and started to read it. The first chapter says that in order to show yourself love you need to give up refined flour, sugar and junk food. I thought about it, contemplated it, wondered if that was what I should do and maybe the idea had merit . I put the book down, but just from reading that alone, I started craving white bread. I normally don't even really eat or like white bread but today I bought white bread and white crackers ( not my usual whole wheat). That is how strong the deprivation mindset is for me. Even the idea of restricting something makes me completely rebound the other way and crave it. I think its because i have had years of restricting and dieting.
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Old 10-02-2014, 12:34 PM   #10  
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Haha if you love yourself you'll give up flour. What a crock! Don't let that nonsense away you.

On the other hand I eat so little wheat on IE. As long as someone is not telling me to avoid it, I avoid it lol.
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Old 10-02-2014, 04:11 PM   #11  
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Hello all, just wanted to start off the month thanking you all for the continually helpful posts. I've still been weighing myself about weekly and am wondering if this is a bad thing. I don't really get so down that I overeat, I just use it to mark my progress. As far as IE goes, is it ok to keep doing this, at least for now?

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Old 10-02-2014, 04:16 PM   #12  
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Thanks for all the replies and comments.

I've read the book, I guess I just struggle with the rigidity of the "rules" (I don't like to take anyone else's rules in dieting, I always tweak for myself, so why would that be different for non-dieting?).

In any event, I think the only way I would begin to explore this is by following some of the other rules for a while, maybe with time I'd be willing to challenge myself with the "give up dieting" one but it's just not my mindset now.

I suppose what I'm really willing to do is what is discussed in the book as being short of "intuitive eating" but close - mindful eating, and while I'm not fully ready for "fat acceptance" I am much closer to the "health at every size" mentality than I was in the past - reading that book finally pushed me to go back to exercising and making myself as healthy as I can, and I have no target weight I'm trying to achieve, I just know that 200lbs is too much for my body to be vibrantly healthy, and so losing weight is important to me (but less important than gaining HEALTH).

Anyway, it's an interesting topic and one I think I'll keep ruminating on, I've been pondering in this direction for quite a while..

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Old 10-02-2014, 04:43 PM   #13  
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Hello all, just wanted to start off the month thanking you all for the continually helpful posts. I've still been weighing myself about weekly and am wondering if this is a bad thing. I don't really get so down that I overeat, I just use it to mark my progress. As far as IE goes, is it ok to keep doing this, at least for now?
There's nothing wrong with weighing yourself. You may want to start paying attention to how you feel after you weigh yourself though. I realized that I felt anxious. That no matter what the scale said I didn't feel good afterwards. If the number went up I felt like a failure and caused me to binge. If the number went down it triggers me into diet mode, the pressure is too much. I don't need to feel good about losing weight or gaining weight. That's the part of the process where I am now, it could be different for you. I felt too attached to that number, it dictated my mood and outlook on life and I was sick of it.
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Old 10-02-2014, 04:54 PM   #14  
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Thanks for all the replies and comments.

I've read the book, I guess I just struggle with the rigidity of the "rules" (I don't like to take anyone else's rules in dieting, I always tweak for myself, so why would that be different for non-dieting?).

In any event, I think the only way I would begin to explore this is by following some of the other rules for a while, maybe with time I'd be willing to challenge myself with the "give up dieting" one but it's just not my mindset now.

I suppose what I'm really willing to do is what is discussed in the book as being short of "intuitive eating" but close - mindful eating, and while I'm not fully ready for "fat acceptance" I am much closer to the "health at every size" mentality than I was in the past - reading that book finally pushed me to go back to exercising and making myself as healthy as I can, and I have no target weight I'm trying to achieve, I just know that 200lbs is too much for my body to be vibrantly healthy, and so losing weight is important to me (but less important than gaining HEALTH).

Anyway, it's an interesting topic and one I think I'll keep ruminating on, I've been pondering in this direction for quite a while..
Don't feel as if you have to follow rules, we all hate rules and that's the reason we turned to IE. Because we didn't want to be told what to eat and when to eat it. I started with mindful eating too, it was the best thing I ever did and I still really enjoy it and will continue to enjoy it. As a matter of fact it's the only true way to enjoy your food.

As far as IE goes there's really only ONE rule and that's to completely reject the diet mentality. Dieting and IE are the exact opposites. They cannot coexist. And IE comes slowly, like a car in the distance coming toward you in the night. Making the decision to reject dieting is just the first step the diet mentality is hard to get rid of. You may not be ready for it, or you may not be convinced yet. Take your time and explore the benefits of some of the IE lessons, mindful eating is fantastic, the food scale can teach you alot about your behaviors, the self acceptance allows you to focus on other things and be at peace with yourself.

But again, IE is NOT the fat acceptance movement. I don't particularly like the fat acceptance movement but I do work on building a better body image. It's not about liking your fat, it's about appreciating your body for the wonderful things it does for you, and feeling good about yourself even if you haven't reached a certain number on a scale.
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Old 10-03-2014, 10:48 AM   #15  
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@sarah

I totally agree with you about rules. I like Geneen Roth but I don't like how she's hardcore about the rules. I've read where she's said "if you eat while doing X you are not eating intuitively!". Sorry, that doesn't jive with my experience. If I want to eat while juggling and riding a unicycle then I'm going to and I'm going to enjoy it and not feel guilty.
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