It taught me that there is more to me than my size. I had a good foundation because of strong spiritual values and good self esteem. It taught me that how others see me isn't as important as how I see me. It has taught me that my health is more important than I ever believed before. Being obese made others treat me bad, but it also made me see my worth.
I loved your post. I've experienced every one of those things. I feel like a social outcast because of my weight (or more because of how it makes me feel.) My latest coping mechanism is the larger the life personality. For example, I joke about my weight before anyone else can because hey, if they're laughing with you, they are not laughing at you, right? Except that's not true.
Being fat taught me that I am alone. I don't mean that in a negative way, just that no one else can force me to change my diet or start to exercise. Emotionally, physically and spiritually, I have to be in the right place in order to lose weight.
Brilliant post, I recognise a lot of it. I think being fat made me a lot more sympathetic towards others and aware of being judgemental. It is soooo true about the damn clothes, I've lost 45lbs and I still can't wear jeans.
Yes people do judge you, when I was slimmer (before weight weight gain and loss) people were a lot nicer to me, I know people say it's your own perception or what you are putting out there but. I'm always cheerful and friendly to people (fat girl front), I checked with my sister who used to be very slim and put on weight and she said she noticed too.
And sasha you're right, i used to raise my weight before anyone else did but i think it made people think it was ok to comment on it so i've tried to stop doing it.
My husband is great he won't let me put myself down and if he hears someone
say anything to me (rarer these days but does happen in the family, just one or two people) he puts them straight, either gently corrects them or blasts them. Even when I'm discussing my progress with my MIL and SIl and they try to make helpful suggestions (like genuinely kiind helpful stuff) my DH will run up and declare i look nice the way i am, for some reason I find it difficult to defend myself from the nastier people which is appalling because its my problem not anyone else's, its odd but your fat seems to become an issue for other people. i guess it makes me feel ashamed if someone mentions it which if you think about it is rubbish because they should be ashamed of being rude, boorish people!
Being fat has taught me to rely on my intelligence and humour to engage in people since being fat makes you damn right out ignored in general. "she's not a head turner so i don't have to pay attention." It is such a lovely feeling when people like you because your core is made of gold and star stuff instead of your skin!
People who weigh more than average are often judged and ridiculed.
Having lost quite a bit of weight in a short period of time has shown me people do treat me very differently - more friendly now than six months ago.
I have learned that people are judgemental whether I am overweight or thinner. Before I was ignored maybe people quietly had their opinions about me and my lack of control. Now everyone has something to say...wow you've lost a lot of weight, you turned out pretty good (from a cousin I hadn't seen in 25 yrs) you aren't planning on losing MORE are you (from overweight coworker) and you are obsessive (husband and others) wow your beautiful. I didn't realize how bad I must have looked before! I want to be sarcastic like say "once I got that third eye removed...I guess I turned out ok! I don't take offense at people's reactions I find it curious that they say these things without thinking sometimes.
Last edited by Sassyblonde; 04-16-2014 at 02:27 AM.
Awesome post! Although mine has already been said, I will say that being fat has shown me that I am not defined by a number on a scale, or by the size of my clothes. I have put myself through university; clearly, I am intelligent. I have an incredible boyfriend and an amazing family; clearly, I am someone who is capable of being loved, and of loving other people in return. I have plenty of friends, and have never really struggled much in social settings; clearly, people see that there is more to me than my larger size. I'll admit, it isnt always roses, like when your skinny friends want to go clothes stores that dont stock cothes big enough to fit you, but it passes. I dont think I have ever been truly depressed as a result of my weight. My decision to lose weight has come strictly as a result of my health; I am healthy, no diabetes or cholesterole or high blood pressure - yet. It is in my family, on both sides, and I dont want the fertility issues or health problems that my other family members have had as a result of carrying too much weight. I guess being fat has given me more self awareness, and has allowed me to reflect upon my health, my future and what I want; I am at a point now where I need to decide what I want, versus what is easy, and that is why I am here.
So while we think that fat people are judged a lot, does it follow that fat people aren't judgmental too?
I tend to think probably not.
Actually I agree with you, hating on the skinnies happens! And i've been judged by people of all interesting shapes and sizes because of how I choose to eat LOL! Most likely I have been judgemental myself but I try not to be. I think as I've lost weight I have felt like running up to people who are very overweight and saying "it can be done!!"how judgemental is that!?? And feeling sorry for people, I know absolutely nothing about them or how they feel about their size yet I assume they must be unhappy about their weight because I was about mine. Yes you're right fat people can be judgemental too.
I guess everyone is judgemental to some degree I am sure I am. It just seems. That people are more open with their judgements now. I go to a gym that has all these signs that say"no judgement zone" but then makes fun of what they call "lunks". Who are guys in tank tops dropping weights and drinking a gallon of water. I thought how very non judgemental of you...of course that's the same gym with pizza night and bagel Saturdays---I am judging that just wrong! But hey at $10 a month I can overlook a lot for good equipment.
I love how positive and insightful your post is. I think I'm more compassionate for having been morbidly obese growing up. I'm very sensitive to how others are treated. Of course we're all to one degree or another judgmental. That's how our brains work.
Being fat is not the end of the world. Love it! It's true. I've had so many great friends, romantic partners, and life successes despite being obese. While sometimes people who judge me get me down (myself more than anything else) I am blown away by the people who don't seem to care about size. I've learned that the people who judge me for my body are not the sort of people that I want to surround myself with.
Everybody deserves to be loved, and every body is beautiful. It's true! Some of us just fit the societal standard of beauty better than others.
I've learned how often bigger people are judged to be lazy or gluttonous when that isn't always true. I'm an avid exerciser, I eat healthy. People tell me "cut the soda and fast food"- I don't eat those things. I prepare most meals from scratch with whole ingredients. I have thyroid disease and it makes gaining easy-peasy and losing really difficult. It's made me much more empathetic, I think.
I love, love, love that post. Seriously, I want to hug you for writing that.
One of the biggest things being fat has taught me (after being thin for a couple of years) is that people definitely treat you differently if you're fat, and that SUCKS.
12 Things Being Fat Taught Me
