[Wannabehealthy]

I have come to the conclusion that I am never going to lose weight. I can't stick to a plan for more than a couple days. The weight that I have lost was due to nausea and loss of appetite after surgery. The first time I went on a diet was when I was in my 20's. A guy that I liked was being deployed overseas for a year. Another girl I knew was also interested in this guy, so I was determined that when he got back I was going to be thin and have long hair. I mananged to do both and by the time he came back the other girl had lost interest and moved on. But I had incentive to do it. I just can't seem to find incentive anymore. Over the years, my weight has gradually gone higher and higher, even though I'm always trying to lose. I lose 5 then gain 10.

Losing weight is hard and you really have to want it. I guess I just don't want it bad enough.

[carter]

I'm sorry you are feeling so discouraged right now. Believe me, we have all been there. Every last one of us, no matter how much long-term success we've managed, has been just where you are now.

You say you can only stick to a plan for a couple of days. Are you in the mood to think a little about what happens after a couple of days? What causes you to go off plan? How do you go off plan? If you're up to it right now, say a few things about what happens at those times. Maybe some of us can help you come up with a strategy to get through that first roadblock.

[tricon7]

I think goal-setting is essential to losing weight - beyond just getting to a specific poundage. I'm setting goals that when I get there will be awesome for me. Like going to the beach with the attitude of "look at me" instead of "don't look at my jiggling fat." And being able to play sports and exercise without sucking wind like a 30-year smoker. And being able to look good in snug clothes - I think I miss this one the most. There are some clothes in my closet that I'm very eager to get back into. I think I may just pull some of them out and hang them where I can see them for added motivation.

But you get my drift. I'm not a big fan of mental visualization, but in this case I'm all for it.

[jennyplain]

I totally agree with what these ladies are saying. In addition, I think that the right plan is totally essential in being able to stick with it. Maybe you're going too hardcore, too fast. What does it matter if you're losing 2 pounds or .2 pounds in a week, so long as the scale is moving the direction you want it to go?

[luckymommy]

Consistency is essential to keeping the weight off (and losing it) so rather than coming to this conclusion that you'll never lose weight, why not find something you can live with long term? Sure, it might take you longer to get there, but slow and steady wins the race. Perhaps you were on a 1200 calorie diet before. Maybe you could go with an 1800 calorie diet for a longer period of time and then move to 2,000 calories once you hit maintenance. I'm just throwing random numbers out but you get the idea.

Also, I think kindness goes a long way. Find a way to love yourself and treat yourself right and part of that is eating healthy for you, not for a man or whatever is driving your motivation. You should be motivation enough. In one year, you could continue to gain or you could be even 10 lbs. lighter or 38lbs. lighter. Make small sensible steps that will lead you towards a healthier life style.

I'll be honest and tell you that I've also lost and gained the same 50-70 lbs. more times than I can recall and I've had the same fatalistic attitude and thought, what's the point? Well, now that I"m losing again I can tell you that it's truly worth it.

There's a signature someone has here that inspires me...I don't remember exactly how it's worded, but it's something like this:

Losing weight is hard. Maintaining loss is hard. Being fat is hard. Pick your hard.

I hope you can turn things around and make good choices because you are definitely worth it.

[Katydid77]

Sounds to me as though you tend to set your motivation to things external, as opposed to internal.

Losing weight for someone/something else is a moving target. You'll lose interest, or they will. Things change with jobs and plans that cause you to lose steam. At the end of the day, it's not as important to them (or the situation) as it is to YOU to lose weight.

I've lost weight for many reasons to over the years. 10 lbs to fit in a dress for a wedding, a few pounds for a guy that I wanted to impress, etc. But those things change situationally and they are NEVER enough for long term, life changing weight loss.

If you want to lose weight for YOU, then it's doable. Decide if you are comfortable enough where you are, not to want to deal with year or so of eating less than you want. You may be, and that is no one else's decision for you.

It's not a crime to be heavier than a weight chart says. For the most part, it's just a personal decision. You may legitimately like and enjoy your life enough at this weight, not to have to deal with the uncomfort of changing it.

It doesn't count to WANT to WANT TO, you really have to have the desire and will and not just wish you had the desire and will.

IF you decide you really want to lose weight for yourself, then mentally prepare for a bit of uncomfort. Know your eating is going to be affected, and that even when you hit your target weight you STILL can't go back into your old eating habits. You don't lose weight mechanically. There will be stalls, plateaus, annoyances, etc.

For it to be a life changing experience, you have to change your life.

I don't mean that negatively at all, and I hope you make the best decision for you. Just get your feet under you and do what you really want to do!

[Wannabehealthy]

I am not despondant over this, just wanted to get my true feeling out there and not hold anything in. Like, OK, there, I said it. I am happy with myself the way I am, but I know that this weight is effecting my health and I should do something about it. I think Katy hit the nail on the head when she said that there'd be a bit of discomfort. I do not eat junk, I eat healthy foods, but I eat too much. I eat because it tastes good, not because I'm hungry. My main problem is "I'll finish this today, because tomorrow I'm starting back on plan." Then a couple days later, I'm saying this all over again. I need to change it to "I'm not hungry. I'll wrap this up for tomorrow's lunch."

I appreciate all the comments. Each person said something that hit home for me. People who have lost and maintained are to be commended. They had the mindset to do what needed to be done. I realize if I'm going to do this, it has to come from me.

[Torii]

Originally Posted by Wannabehealthy

I am not despondant over this, just wanted to get my true feeling out there and not hold anything in. Like, OK, there, I said it. I am happy with myself the way I am, but I know that this weight is effecting my health and I should do something about it. I think Katy hit the nail on the head when she said that there'd be a bit of discomfort. I do not eat junk, I eat healthy foods, but I eat too much. I eat because it tastes good, not because I'm hungry. My main problem is "I'll finish this today, because tomorrow I'm starting back on plan." Then a couple days later, I'm saying this all over again. I need to change it to "I'm not hungry. I'll wrap this up for tomorrow's lunch."

I appreciate all the comments. Each person said something that hit home for me. People who have lost and maintained are to be commended. They had the mindset to do what needed to be done. I realize if I'm going to do this, it has to come from me.

We p much are the same weight and have the same goal! and I'm totally with you on this. Actually these past few days I kinda just kept track with what I've been doing, and haven't weight myself in about a month. I haven't noticed a difference so I was ready to give up till I finally got around to weighing myself and I actually lost a few pounds. After being stuck..for months.. but it made me happy and want to keep going..

I have AIM if you or anyone wants a weight loss buddy to keep each other motivated and talk..if you need help or questions! I'm sure talking to someone would be really helpful to keep you going and learning.

[JohnP]

If you're happy with your weight and only want to be healthy, I would suggest you stop worrying about losing weight and instead worry about being healthy.

You can be overweight and healthy. Moderate exercise and a healthy are more important to your health than your weight.

[Wannabehealthy]

John - It's not so much that I'm happy with my weight, but more that I accept who I am. I would like to lose weight, but I'm not concerned about looking good at the beach, or fitting into a size 4 etc. Not that there's anything wrong with feeling that way, it's just that I'm beyond that. If I lose 20 lbs or so my blood pressure and blood sugar will go down to a healthier range and I will feel better, too.

I clicked on your link and read about your eating plan, and I think that is a very good plan. If you don't deny yourself any particular food, you don't get cravings for it and you can eat anywhere, at any function, without having to check the menu or buffet for something you're "allowed" to eat. No one would even know you are dieting. That would work very well for me if I could get portion control in line.

Torii - I agree that seeing a loss on the scale gives you incentive to keep going and lose more and sometimes it's better not to be obsessed with the scale. Just go on with your life, watching your diet and staying active, and the weight just starts to come off.

[Terra1984]

I lose 5 then gain 10

Im the same way and I know it sucks