[Doomkitty]

I lost my job at the end of April along with one of my roommates. The reason supplied was "outsourcing" but we know there was more to it than that.

I've been looking for a job since then but have had almost no luck. I lost my job just as my student loans came out of their grace period. I have 10; I can make payments on 2. I have until the end of next week to deal with the other 8 which are all held by the same company.

As I watch my savings drain, my nerves get worse and worse. The past few days have been bad. I've begun crying on a regular basis. And not lightly crying...audibly and painfully. I just want to work.

I've applied for unemployment but they've been no help; they've actually been rude more often than not. It took 3 phone calls just to reach anyone who could be bothered to help me. Apparently, the issue isn't whether I qualify; rather it's, "Who is paying the bill?" So I've been waiting for over two weeks while they decide whether the company I interned at last year should pay. If they decide they shouldn't, I have to refile in July. In July, the quarter they're basing my pay rate on will switch and the company that laid me off will be responsible.

In addition to all this, my roommate just informed me that her long distance fiance will be bringing their dog up for a visit some day. Don't know when but apparently it could be for anywhere from a week to two weeks. The last time she was here, I was miserable. She barks nonstop and demands that you play with her. She is so poorly trained, it's abysmal just being near her.

The worst part is, I now have a dog of my own who is actually a good little boy. He doesn't bark and only has the occasional accident when he gets excited. My roommate thinks it will be funny to see them together but he doesn't like being around other dogs for too long. He gets upset and starts to bite and pee all over the house. When I told her this, she shrugged it off and said he'd have to deal with it.

This is the same girl who made me feel guilty for having a date with my now boyfriend in the living room without getting her permission. This is the same girl who made a big stink out of it later saying that I need to take my roommates into consideration. This same roommate has no problem sticking me with a misbehaved dog for two weeks while my dog urinates all over the house. He lives here, he shouldn't need crated for his own mental health. Her dog turns the entire house upside down and no one stopped to ask if it was okay that she bring her back for an encore.

I know I need to talk to her but there's really nothing I can actually do. In addition to no job and no money, I have no respect. I've begun to overeat as a result. I haven't frantically shoved food down my throat in almost two years. I've been binging all day.

My brightest hope right now is that my boyfriend and I are viewing two places tomorrow that will be open for move in September first. That gives me enough time to find some poor soul to replace me on the lease. But then I begin to fear that I won't find someone and I'll be stuck here until January while my mental state further deteriorates.

I don't know how to get my anxiety/depression under control. Before all of this came about, I was doing so well.

[Scarlett]

First of all I want you to know that I just read your whole post and I feel for you. Hang in there

Second. I would 1000% stand up to this room mate (As nicely as possible, of course). I would firmly demand that the fiance put the dog in a kennel (or with friends) and not bring him. You absolutely have the right to do this. Furthermore, you have the right to tell him that the fiance can not stay for 1-2 weeks or to demand some sort of rent discount for living with a visitor for so long. Room mates are NOT allowed to have visitors over without permission. You do not have to put up with your dog being harassed.

I don't have a whole lot of advice for the career situation. I guess all I can say is focus on the things you can do something about. If you don't have the money, you don't have the money. You could try making some phone calls to get the grace period extended or the payments lowered. I think the federal loans are somewhat flexible that way. In any case it is worth a try.

Also try and focus on the things you are grateful for rather than the things you are upset about. Going into job interviews with a ton of anxious/negative energy is a recipe for disaster. Even though things are bleak, try and be as positive as possible. Just KNOW at the core of your being that you will get though this. GOOD LUCK!

[Doomkitty]

I don't mind her boyfriend, mine stays with me on the weekends just because I need the company. But the dog...the dog is another issue. She is very high energy and if she doesn't get her way, she howls incessantly. And given that level of energy, she's going to get on my dog's nerves and he'll bite or just start spraying everywhere. Meanwhile, she acts like my boyfriend's presence bothers her even though she's never here on the weekends when he is and we stay in my room. It all feels so horribly unfair but I suppose I started letting her walk all over me early. She seems to feel more entitled and I never said anything but it's all too much now.

[Scarlett]

Someone staying for the weekends is a very different thing than a visitor staying for 2 weeks (I'm assuming 1-2 weeks means exactly 2 weeks). It sounds like you have no intention of continuing a relationship with this room mate once you move out so you have nothing to loose. I think you should firmly demand that the fiance not bring the dog. Threaten to call the landlord. I'm sure the landlord would not want your dog peeing all over the apartment. Even though you let her walk all over you before does not mean you have to allow this. I would ask very nicely then be firmer if she doesn't back down. Explain that you have enough going on right now without having to worry about your dog being nutty for 2 weeks. I bet it will feel really good. Everyone has at least one room mate like this at some time. At least the end is in sight.

[Sasha29]

If all your loans are backed by the government (basically, anything but a PLUS loan), you can consolidate them into one and make one payment. You also should be able to get a deferment or a forbearance on them. Explain the situation. Loan companies are seeing a lot of unemployed graduates right now, so they're used to these requests.

As far as your roommate goes, can you talk your landlord and see about getting out of the lease now? It's a big change, but it sounds like she is a major source of stress. Can you move back home or move in with your boyfriend or another friend?

I agree with the above posters that you need to confront the roommate about the dog. Two weeks is a long time, and that's unfair to you and your dog. She should pay you something for the trouble. You may want to look at your lease's pet policy. She may be violating the terms of the lease by bringing another animal in without permission.

[Doomkitty]

If I consolidate my loans, don't I stand to pay a higher interest rate or something? As of right now, I have 3 separate payments to make which isn't too hard to track. Two of them are cheap which is why I'm going to go ahead and pay them. The third, which consists of 8 loans from one location, is too high so I have to do something with it within the next week (what happens next week with unemployment will decide how I attack it).

I can't get out of my lease because, here's the kicker - I have two roommates but only two of the three of us are on the lease. The mouthy one isn't. She makes more than enough to live here but her credit was wrecked when a student loan came out of its grace period sooner than it should have and she didn't fight it. If one of us leaves, a replacement has to be found just from the financial standpoint alone. The other roommate is nice and she's struggling, too. I wouldn't want to just up and leave, even though I could if I sacrificed a month's rent and my security deposit...which, in light of my financial situation, I really don't want to do. =/

My boyfriend and I are viewing two places today. Hopefully we can just take one and be done with it. He can pay for either one on his own with his current income but we keep running into the problem of management places - which I hope we aren't dealing with this time - wanting $31k+ annual just to get in a place. He'll make more than enough by September, he'll have his IT degree and hopefully I'll be working myself. If it's not an issue with them wanting $31k annual, it's an issue with them wanting me to be able to meet half the rent, regardless of whether I'm actually paying half or not. In fact, we're going in 75/25 initially so that he can help me get on my feet. At this one location, that comes to $560/$240 at the most and I can most definitely make that. Right now, I'm paying $470 by myself! We wouldn't walk into a place we don't think we can afford, we're not stupid people, we're actually quire cautious.

I actually got something of a miracle yesterday - my boyfriend's Aunt, who I have always liked, offered to give me a loan. I'll only take it if I have to, though. I can pay one more month's rent and then I'll have to reassess the situation. But at least I could borrow another month from her if I have to.

[Scarlett]

I'm pretty sure you have plenty of options when it comes to student loans. Spend some time really researching the options. I am a Suze Orman fanatic and she did a show a few weeks ago on student loan issues. She was able to reduce some guys payments dramatically by doing something where he got his loan payment tied to income level. This is the link to watch the episode online.

http://video.cnbc.com/gallery/?play=1&video=3000102347

Also, I recommend the book "What Color is Your Parachute" (the library should have it). It basically explains why only applying to posted jobs is a horrible job search strategy. It explains how to go after the hidden job market, ie applying to places that offer the kind of work you are suited to do whether they have posted openings or not. It also shows you how to get specific about what you are looking for. So many people who cannot find work are going about the job search in the wrong way. This was how I landed my current job.

Also the loan option is great news. It's great to have a little more breathing room.

[PreciousMissy]

Scarlett, what fantastic advice!